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 More sleep would be nice
Joined: 8/17/2008
Msg: 213
Adults living at home with Mom and DadPage 4 of 48    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)
I just turned 30 and I live with my parents. Now the question is: "Do I leech off of my parents?"

The simple answer is: yes.

The detailed answer is: I give roughly 80% of my income to my parents. What I give them helps the the groceries, gas, electricity, house maintenance, yearly property tax and their medicine. I also take care of all of the holiday gift money for Chinese New Year, Christmas, cousins' birthdays, etc.

So how do I leech off of my parents when it's clear that I am the one supporting them? Well, my mom acts like my mom.

The problem living at home at my age is that I am often at odds with my mom in terms of needing to do my own thing on my own terms.

Of course, as you all can see, this also creates problems for me in finding a suitable intimate partner for myself. Regardless whether I am living with my parents because I am leeching off of them OR I live with them but support them financially, to 95% of the women I've had a chance to talk with, they are turned off anyway.

You see, this provides three major disabilities in a relationship:

1) No privacy or in my case, not enough privacy. In my own home, there is not enough space to move around with my girlfriend. However, my parents have always been quite accommodating. When I bring a girl home, we either go up to my room or we spend time in the living room in which my parents move over to the den. Alas, it's not that good.

2) A great sign I am not making enough. Heck I can be making $50k/year and that wouldn't matter if I'm living with my parents. Not making enough means I cannot easily go on lavish trips with my mate. South East Asia cruise? Sorry, can't this year. Simple trip to California? Maybe. How about a road trip? I can do that.

3) Influences from mom and dad. Most 'Chinese' boys I know are heavily influenced by their parents. Most people outside see these 'Chinese' boys as weak-minded and retarded. I fit into this group because it's easier to judge a book by the cover, rather than actually read it. "Ew, this book has a stain on it. It must be bad. Next!"

-----

However, because of these three points, I DO AGREE that women SHOULD NOT choose guys like me to have relationships with unless they want a fling. It's just unrealistic.

That's probably why I'm constantly hesitating to contact anyone because of my obligations. /sigh
 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 228
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 1/25/2009 12:12:05 PM
I totally agree. I keep getting mixed up with these types. They are so childish and irresponsible. I won't date Baby Hueys anymore.
 Twilightslove
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 230
view profile
History
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 1/25/2009 1:00:37 PM
I have two of my four adult children still living at home with me. I recognize today that young adults do not have the financial abilities to live on their own as I did when I turned 18. I have health issues as well that makes it harder for me to work and make sure they get everywhere they need to go so they work and pay me to live here. I have my own money that pays the rest each month. Once they have saved enough to buy their own cars or fix the car that they already have and they have found a person or persons that they can live with till their paychecks actually pay for them to live I will provide everything that I can. They pay me 75% of their paychecks presently. I make sure they get to work and home; to every other place that they are obligated to go or that they wish to go to; I make sure they have the food they need; the clothes they need; the doctor's appointments that they need and then some. My 23 year old daughter is just now able to live on her own with her fiancee and their new baby. Her job is better now and she has some college completed. Her fiancee is finally in a job that has a lot of overtime so even though his wages are not up to par the overtime makes up for it. Both of my sons are now training or beginning to train to be in supervisory positions which will help them to be financially able to live on their own in the future. Once they leave I will find a job and be fine. Presently I sell things on the internet to keep my skills active and to keep the money flowing in. People live with their parents for different reasons and I agree that if they are just mooching it would be wrong but I think you shouldn't just discount a person because they do.

You know it is hard to live with your parents when you are really trying and things just do not pan out yet. You have less privacy and so do they.
 AllentownLady
Joined: 7/22/2008
Msg: 234
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 2/1/2009 3:00:14 PM
Yes a definate turn off.
 U4EA4U2
Joined: 7/7/2008
Msg: 237
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 2/19/2009 10:35:20 PM
u don't know what the **** your'r talkin about! I am the most driven person who's brother died hence I had to relocate to this shit town called fort myers. I'm from the east coast H-town c and shit happens fast over here it's a shit economy and I feel stuck for the time being. I am also one of the most non-insecure hardcore mother****ers you could ever meet. I go to the gym religiously and don't believe in Jesus. I believe in me and family. Jesus and doin a****in thing girly. Can't wait to get out of this ugly redneck assbackward town full of knuckleheads and no culture puta.
 luvs2laugh78
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 239
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 2/20/2009 10:02:41 AM
This topic concerns me somewhat as I have recently applied to go back to school full time this coming fall for a 2 year program.

I have decided that if I am accepted, I plan to move home with my father for the period while I am in school! It would save me having to work mad crazy hours on top of my school work load (I already did that the first time around, and it was hell).
It will also allow me to not have to take out any student loans, which in these times, the more I can do to not incurr debt, the better!

At least I know what I am doing it for, I am not lazy or dependent,or a loser. I actually think it is the smartest game plan for me. To those that may judge me because if it, well they are not the tossers I care to know in the first place!
 Samurai41
Joined: 4/29/2008
Msg: 240
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History
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 2/20/2009 11:31:47 AM
luvs2laugh,
you are a hawt chick, hawt chicks can do anything, and no one will give you any crp about it.....LOL

Seriously tho, my mother is disabled, and I am an only child. I take care of her, and I HAVE to live there with her, she has night terrors when she is alone. Plus, i love my mother and I love being close to her. She took care of me and now I take care of her.

Someone judges me harshly for living at home? I wouldnt want them around anyway.
 ohio07
Joined: 12/27/2008
Msg: 242
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 3/9/2009 12:16:24 PM
Uh, in this economy this is becoming the rule, NOT the exception. Sorry. You should be lucky if they have a career/job these days. Male or female, even better if they don't have dependents.
 minako79
Joined: 1/15/2009
Msg: 244
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 3/16/2009 11:03:33 PM
School is the only exception that keeping me on the home front at the moment when that all change with graduation in 2009 and hoping to get a decent job. I will be looking into moving out on my own or having a roommate at least. I don't intend to say under my parents for the rest of my life. XD I have my own life to live. That is one promise I will intend to go through. AND STILL DO. Anyone who has a problem dating me or being with me, they're not worth the headache anyways. It's their loss not mine.
 NotInnocent
Joined: 9/7/2007
Msg: 247
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 4/29/2009 9:08:12 AM
As most people have said. There is a large difference between living with mommy because you are to lazy or don't want to do it on your own; and living with them out of necessity. I'll admit..i don't want to date a man who lives with his parents, but i have. However in the cases where I did so, the mother moved in with him so he could take care of her. In another case the guy lost his job, foreclosed on his house and was facing the street for him and his child. He went home to save himself from that and a year and a half later had a new job, new house and was out of there.

Especially now, I think there is going to be more people living with family then not. My cousin just moved in with his sister because he can't find a job after losing his. He's a good man, but there is no work out there. Rather he live on the street?
 Chow_Chow_Lvr
Joined: 4/7/2009
Msg: 248
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 4/29/2009 10:14:43 AM
I'm 40 and our house sold in March and I don't get my new place until June 1st and am staying at my parents place... should I hide that from others? No, cause it's just a temporary situation, but it still is a bit embarassing....lol

There are always circumstances why a person would live at their parents house past a certain age. If it's because they are afraid of the world or too lazy to provide from themselves...I'd look else where as I'm looking for someone that meets life head on!
 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 250
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 4/29/2009 11:30:55 AM
Hey-- I totally agree. I've dated these lkes and they are immature and irresponsible. If I am 39, can care for myself why can a man my age or older?

What's wrong with them? They mooched off of me too, even wanted my car! Never helped out with anything. Freeloaders.
 bcsofnc57
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 253
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 5/1/2009 11:21:36 AM
It would really make more sense if several generations did live together, that is if all are working or in some way contributing to the household(some older members would be retired and getting a retirement income). All members involved could live a better life style than they could on their own, and children would not grow up to be so selfish and self centered. Children would learn from the life experience of several generations. There would always be people to watch the children. Not strangers but people that love them. Older members would get care from people that loved them.
 charleshuang
Joined: 3/19/2009
Msg: 256
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 5/1/2009 5:47:10 PM
yes,maybe the living circumstance has made some impact on their lifestyle.
 TheyCallMeMrAwesome
Joined: 7/27/2008
Msg: 257
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 5/1/2009 10:46:09 PM
I'm 20 (almost 21) and live with my parents because I am on unemployment and I'm joining the Army. I want to spend as much time with em as possible because I won't see them for a while once I'm gone, thats my story and I'm stickin to it. Also my dad has diabetes and sometimes relies on me to get him some food or surag tablets because he gets to weak to get up and I'm the only one that's at home

I have my reasons to stay, and I can't find a full time job ANYWHERE!
(damn you south carolina!)
 sweet_n_heart
Joined: 1/31/2007
Msg: 262
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 6/17/2009 7:57:31 PM
Only way it would be a turn off for me is if just mooching off the parents... like reather spend there money on anything but own place.. Doesn't want to take on the responsibility, etc bad reasons like that....

As long as have a good reason for still living at home with parents for example can't afford to move out on own, parents aren't able to take care of themselves or the bills by themselves, disabled, in school etc.

I know the only reason i still live with my parents is cause i can't afford to move out right now.
 sunshyne243
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 263
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 6/17/2009 8:23:34 PM
How long is livin at home acceptable after a tough time with an old relationship? I have recently broke up with my ex and due to him not having money to pay bills, I did and now I am in debt at the moment and at home...I have maintained independence for a while but now have lost it in a sense...how long is too long, its only been a few months and I plan on it being about 6-12 months to get back on feet...am I one lof the moochers?
 eyez-ofa-angel
Joined: 6/24/2009
Msg: 265
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 7/1/2009 12:43:43 PM
it depends there are always reasons....if their reason is cause they like living at home..then yes its a turn off!! I love my moms house, but I LOVE my own place more!
 NotInnocent
Joined: 9/7/2007
Msg: 266
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 7/1/2009 6:47:35 PM
You have to look at circumstances. I face the prospect of moving back home with mom. It's not a certainty, but it's definately a possibility. Not because I want to be there but because she may need someone to live with her. I also could be taking care of my grandmother. I love my own place, I don't love my moms place, but I can live at moms if she needs me to. It's all about the circumstances surrounding a situation. Have to take things into consideration.
 xFuriousx
Joined: 12/19/2008
Msg: 267
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 7/2/2009 9:13:48 AM
I don't think you should judge someone on that...allot of people moving back home now...plus...there are many people that are very family oriented and want to live that way and have no intension of moving out untill they get married and that doesnt imply that they mooch they just prefer to stay home and there parents want them there too...so don't judge a book by its cover
 rosemary5418
Joined: 6/4/2009
Msg: 270
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 7/5/2009 2:54:26 PM
I moved home for a while because the **** hit the fan in my life. For starters my father seriously needed physical help, my five year co-hap relationship ended, I had to change careers because I developed carpal tunnel, and then my Dad passed away. I was a wreck and didn't date much, of course. I moved out after I got back on my feet. I would however be hesitant to get involved with someone who just likes living with the P's. I could mean that they are lazy and lack the motivation to take care of themselves.
 DudeistPriest
Joined: 3/30/2009
Msg: 272
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 7/8/2009 7:55:06 PM
So this post is over 4yrs old. With todays economy, multigenerational homes are becoming more popular and prevailent.
 eastendwoman
Joined: 7/15/2006
Msg: 273
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 7/11/2009 2:52:57 PM
I absolutely agree. If he's moochin off his folks, and you're supposedly lucky enough to 'get him' to move out and possible marry you, he'll mooch off of you too. Dump him.
 NotInnocent
Joined: 9/7/2007
Msg: 274
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 7/30/2009 8:07:02 AM
Exactly! Living at home is not a bad thing unless you are doing so, so your parents can take care of you! That's a huge turn off. If you are home with your parents taking care of them or for some other reason or as a temporary (truly temporary) fix then that is OK. How can you judge someone unless you know them??
 kpooks
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 275
view profile
History
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 7/30/2009 8:42:37 AM
Let's be realistic. If this economy gets any worse, we may ALL be living with our parents!!! May not be sexy, but it just might become a practical necessity.

Will bring back family dinners--and that is a good thing!

I'm not talking about mooching though--I'm talking about cutting our expenses. Instead of paying a $1,500 a month mortgage to live in our own homes, maybe we'll pay $400 a month to rent a room in theirs. Cuts our expenses and cuts theirs.
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