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 Aquarius_lady
Joined: 5/21/2008
Msg: 1052
Cheating- can you forgive?Page 36 of 59    (19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59)
Nope that is why I am divorced......Couldn't forgive or forget. Trust was broken too bad and never able to get it back. Maybe wrong in the way I think but just too much happen to put it behind me and forgive.
 Friendfindercom
Joined: 3/12/2008
Msg: 1054
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 6/3/2008 12:59:58 AM
mistakes are easy to forgive an move forwards with.. i'm a professioal, i make mistakes daily... cheating isn't a mistake.. it's a completed with intent action.. a mistake.. oh my... fell into your.. and how did that happen over and over.. nope.. not a mistake... more complicated mistakes.. require more understanding.. forgive no problem... work it out... ok... work back out actions words and deeds of cheating.. not possible... done.. one can repaint a fence... cheating isn't a fence, it's a total jumped over the fence an into someone else's arms... alot of things fall into the can not forgive.. kill someone in my heart for no reason, i will not forgive you ever on the planet, god if there is ( disclaimer for those who need one ) can forgive.. i am not god.. and i wouldn't expect someone to forgive me such indiscretions... my ego's not that big... and yes.. people do change.. good for them.. i do respect someone making changes.. doesn't have a thing to do with forgiving...

edited.. no intent at harm or agression from my responce I repsect anothers view of a possible result from a positive input towardsa a tricky concept..
 EaglesCry68
Joined: 12/16/2006
Msg: 1055
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History
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 6/3/2008 1:30:11 AM

forgive... no... i did take time to understand.. and in my case, yep cheater makes perfect society sense... respect it... not a chance.. forgive it.. already said NO.. a person's word is all one has, an a lie.. or over the years several lies.. just add up to one's word hasn't got an once of measure left to weight...

where does one begin...


One begins with the self brother.

I'm Scott, nice to meet ya!

Tell me something wonderful about the one whom you described.

Gimme some posi-traction here......

You seem really kewl, but your stunting your growth based on anger, resentment and repercussion.

Let it go, and hang out with us awhile....

No negativity allowed.

Scott.
 jolia
Joined: 2/25/2008
Msg: 1056
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 6/3/2008 4:13:25 AM
If you love the cheater...you must forgive. A cheater is not always a bad man,,, he just made a bad choice.
I dont beleive in once a cheater.... always a cheater.
We are human and make mistakes. this doesnt mean we cant think and see it was wrong...we are thinking human beings....we make lots of mistakes and we also should be given the chance to proof we are able to correct and continue.
Remember the one that failed is not you, so be generous, kind and try to heal.....and if you love im and he loves you...retake the journey and trust me...I survived a hefty cheating situation and i can guarantee husband hasnt done it again. And yes I am sure.

Marriage got stronger, no hard feeling and guess what....after 6 years, now its me that im having the problem....and he is forgiving me. We are working thru it.....

Also prayer helped us a lot..God worked on our marriage then....
 indehills
Joined: 2/23/2008
Msg: 1057
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 6/3/2008 4:27:10 AM

They may WANT your forgiveness...but if you can't forgive...then you'll probably be the only one affected.


You'll be affected alright - you'll be setting yourself up to get cheated on again. "Forgive and forget" is fine when the other person misses your birthday or something - not so fine when your future could be determined by your choice to forgive. If you want to forgive, do it after you've found someone else and moved on with your life.
 Aleyrebel
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 1058
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Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 6/3/2008 5:50:09 AM
I know it's hard. And I've been cheated on in a marriage. And No, I can't move past that. Some people may be able to, but I have to trust him out of my sight. Once he's cheated, I would always wonder when he was late, who he was with, what he was doing. I can't live that way, so No.
 lets start now!
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 1059
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 6/3/2008 7:00:54 AM
nope i cant, if someone cheats they never cared in the first place!
 Friendfindercom
Joined: 3/12/2008
Msg: 1060
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 6/3/2008 7:05:33 AM
hiya Scott... one begins at the beginning... i thought about including that what's of value about who... but felt the subject was cheaters.. and so left off any redeeming qualities... and i have to say i'm sorry. there's too much detail you'd need to know that after thinking about this, there are no redeeming qualities... and i don't want to write a never seeming to end list of what's transpired over the past years.. I just use it as a watch out for list.. but even that hasn't a place in this forum... and this was the positive re-write..
so i'll give you a rough geist about why i do at least say yes.. what cheater did does makes perfect society sense... I owned a small local computer company for many years and was successful until the little town got noticed by the large supply chain stores.. slowly over a few years my small local store downsized into out of business.. and I had gotten moved into the Loser's list.. didn't know i'd lost.. thought someone had my back and i did adjust an change the future and was in the beginnings of a new business when I discovered some guy.. he'd been around a few years... so.. why my X divorced me.. I no longer was a rich american she'd married.. I made her lose face in front of her friends... so in societies eyes.. she did the right thing.. she protected herself from the loser an dumped him ( me ) of course through proper planning no one informed me and she took several years to build all the wonderful things she managed to do... i was left with my jaw hanging...

maybe it's easier for you to understand if I say... i don't let what happen focus on my life...it manages to do that for me... and you'd have to be in my shoes to understand...

anyway, i'll be hanging awhile.. like the forums...
 EaglesCry68
Joined: 12/16/2006
Msg: 1061
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Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 6/3/2008 9:55:00 AM

and so left off any redeeming qualities...


That speaks volumes in itself...

Understood, and empathy is just.

Yeah, the forums can be a great place.....I've learned a lot here.

MY PEEPS!!!

Have a wonderful day, and walk in light!!

God Bless,
Scott.
 SuccessfulFish
Joined: 4/24/2008
Msg: 1062
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 6/27/2008 6:18:52 PM
Yeah i know what you've been through that sucks, ive been cheated on and the worse thing about it is that your have time find out on your own, but even if he told you that he cheated and was honest, i would say you should not take him back, becuase it will most likely happen again once he's broken the ice.
if you do not wish you get hurt anymore, move on and find someone better.
 atouchoftink
Joined: 7/20/2006
Msg: 1063
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 6/27/2008 6:42:08 PM
Well mine cheated and I gave him another chance and guess what he cheated again. I think you can forgive, but you'll never forget. I think if they get away with it the first go around they just assume they'll always be forgiven.
 lovesmusic18
Joined: 6/18/2008
Msg: 1064
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 6/27/2008 6:47:16 PM
no cheating is unforgiveable if you dont love the person enough to be faithful to them then you should leave the relationship......leave the relationship before you turn to sleeping others..... I HATE CHEATERS but unfortunately its becoming wayyyyyyy to common in todays society...man cheaters need to learn some morals
 sparkplugzz
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 1065
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 6/27/2008 9:07:29 PM
Forgive...Maybe?...But never forget!
 Bakers Ridge
Joined: 6/23/2008
Msg: 1066
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 6/27/2008 9:10:32 PM
Hey MJ, I was with you,and felt for your Mom,you ,and family,until I read " We're Quick To Remind Him " I know you Love your Mom,But your Parents Relationship Is between Your PARENTS , not anyone else . It's mean reminding your Dad of his ,and your Moms past. I am not agreeing with your Dads old life style, but it is your parents that are in the relationship,no one else.Hope you , and your Mom finds peace in your hearts .
 NaiveAndWitty
Joined: 4/14/2007
Msg: 1067
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 6/27/2008 9:11:14 PM
josie, i am so naive!

that said,

i truly believe that we are humans who by nature are prone to drift.
and this is not me advocating on behalf of cheating. i just wonder... when did we become so guilty about those things that come natural to us?

if it's too much for you, cut out. but remember, instincts are hard to resist.
 indehills
Joined: 2/23/2008
Msg: 1068
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 6/27/2008 9:15:56 PM

If you are w/ somebody...and they cheat...odds are it's not a surprise to you.
If it is ..you're either in self-denial..or you weren't paying attention to what's going on in your relationship.


Sorry bub, but it's not always that cut and dried. Most people who cheat know how to do it without getting caught, and they KNOW what the signs are that their mate will be looking for.
 EaglesCry68
Joined: 12/16/2006
Msg: 1069
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Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 6/29/2008 9:55:12 PM
Ummm...Forgive, yep!

Forget?, Nope!

Those who allow others to cheat on them and continue in the relationship are desperate in more ways than one, and have no Love or self-respect.

Blessings Abundant!!
Scott.
 californiaa
Joined: 6/20/2008
Msg: 1070
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 6/29/2008 10:19:53 PM
You are right "once a cheater, always a cheater", so if you decide to stay in the relationship keep that in mind.

Also keep in mind that it does not matter what he does from now on the trust has been lost, and you are always going to find yourself looking for signs of illicit behaviors, and ironically, he is always going to resent that you treat him "as if " he has done something wrong, thus becoming the "victim" again and again.
 pixiee
Joined: 4/2/2008
Msg: 1071
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 6/29/2008 10:30:07 PM
Im completely with you ... If someone cheats they will always be capable of cheating again... I know it sounds harsh but I can forgive but I can never forget ..
So trust your gut instinct on this one ..
 SusieSunshine79
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 1073
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Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 6/30/2008 4:46:09 AM
Cheaters are cheaters, but everyone should be forgiven....that way when you see them again (years later) there is no reason for hostility :)
 EaglesCry68
Joined: 12/16/2006
Msg: 1074
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Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/1/2008 12:09:26 AM

NO WAY!!! WHY WILL I FORGIVE IF I CAN'T FORGET...
MY 1 LINER - "NO LOOKIN' AND TURNIN BACK"


There-in lies the lesson in spiritual growth my dear...


Cheaters are cheaters, but everyone should be forgiven....that way when you see them again (years later) there is no reason for hostility :)


What happened to "Turn the other Cheek"?

We MUST forgive, always, and for anything and everything; otherwise, our soul carries with it poisons. We cannot grow as spirits by keeping grudges or resentment.

Whosoever hurts us must be forgiven, no matter what it takes. Look within yourself and find forgiveness as if you did the deed, and only you know how pure you are.

God awaits such an act, and then we can grow.

Seek not logic in forgiveness, but enlightenment, and then let it go...

God Bless,
Scott.
 EaglesCry68
Joined: 12/16/2006
Msg: 1076
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Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/1/2008 12:34:40 AM

I would never be able to forgive my partner for this. Not acceptable!


NEVER???

Even on your death bed??

C'mon....

I've never cheated, nor have I been cheated on, for I can see the warning sings and I'll end the relationship beforehand....But; I can forgive anything....

It's my nature...Jesus says so.

P.S. No one says we have to accept it; this is about forgiveness. Doesn't mean we have to remain in said relationship either.

I don't think you folks are reading deeply enough into the actual question.

If I were cheated on, I'd never associate with her again, EVER!!

But I'd forgive her eventually, when the anger and resentment and feelings of betrayal subsided.

What about what Peter did to Jesus???
 Patarey
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 1077
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/1/2008 12:39:03 AM
I would never forgive someone that cheated on me...........
 sahasrara10
Joined: 12/21/2007
Msg: 1078
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/1/2008 12:45:00 AM
No way. If they don't respect you enough to keep their pants on around other people, they certainly don't deserve another chance. You make your bed, lie in it.
 tenny312
Joined: 6/27/2008
Msg: 1079
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History
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/1/2008 1:04:25 AM
You know what'd be RIDICULOUSLY AWESOME?!!! If all the cheaters in this world are allowed to only DATE EACH OTHER. That'd be freaking hilarious.
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