Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  >      Home login  
Joined: 1/19/2009
Msg: 1256
view profile
Cheating- can you forgive?Page 38 of 59    (19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59)
I am in a deep mess,my 15 yrs married is in a jeopady as at now becos my wife cheated on me 7 yrs ago.
I asked her now and she confess to it and i am dieing of the lies of the past 7yrs.
What do i do?
Joined: 5/22/2009
Msg: 1257
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/11/2009 5:41:24 PM
Nope..I can't. I believe once it is done it is even easier to do a second, third, or fourth time. Cheating ruins lives and ruins people. I tried taking back a cheater once, but I never did trust him again and what they say about "No trust=no love" is true.
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 1258
view profile
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/11/2009 5:50:38 PM
When you give a cheater another chance, you just give them the chance to cheat again. All trust is destroyed, along with the respect.
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 1259
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/11/2009 5:51:50 PM
Could I forgive, only as much as I won't hate the person. But the relationship would be over. The trust has been broken.
Joined: 12/18/2008
Msg: 1261
view profile
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/11/2009 6:01:10 PM
Yes, I have forgiven, but not likely to forget. You're only hurting yourself if you don't forgive because it will eat away at you and you will become (or stay) a very bitter person. And who wants to hang out with that?
Joined: 7/8/2009
Msg: 1262
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/13/2009 4:42:45 PM
Once a cheater always a cheater
Joined: 2/15/2009
Msg: 1263
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/13/2009 4:57:57 PM
I forgave my ex-husband the first time but it never leaves your mind that he is capable of doing so again, which he did a few years later. I didn't forgive him the second time. What really makes it rough is being lied to saying he loves you daily, still has sex with you and makes you think that everything is roses until you find out that he is cheating again. The trust is gone. I hope one day he finds someone he is madly in love with and she cheats on him.
Joined: 6/17/2009
Msg: 1264
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/13/2009 4:58:55 PM
Hopefully, Josie tossed his cheating ass out in the cold!

As this question is destined to be relevant forever, I gotta add my HAIL NO! to all the other NO's posted before me! That's one HAIL NO! for each question in the OP's original post.

To all the second, third... chancers - you're only kidding yourselves. Really sad.
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 1265
view profile
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/13/2009 6:28:14 PM
Cheating - can you forgive?

Being a typical Scorpio myself, no I can't forgive someone who cheats on me cuz this part of our history will forever haunt me. I might be able to forget it as time goes by but I doubt it if I could ever forgive MYSELF if he does it again.

For me once a stray cat, always a stray cat.
Joined: 3/24/2009
Msg: 1266
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/13/2009 6:55:08 PM
No. Don't be a door mat and have respect for yourself.
Joined: 7/17/2008
Msg: 1267
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/14/2009 4:27:50 AM
my parents were married for 30 years. long after i'd left home and even after they went their separate ways, i got the stories about how they caught each other fooling around several times. well that was back in the '60s when everyone was wearing skinny ties, smoking & drinking & listening to jazz (so depraved) and the so-called sexual revolution. i guess they had a good laugh about it, i don't know, but i do know that the fooling around didn't end their relationship. so there must have been a whole lot more going on in the relationship that they found to be of value or they would have called it quits way back when.

i know another married couple, still married, that just celebrated their 40th anniversary. again, there has been fooling around on the side by at least one person in this relationship. and i'm sure the other person knows about it, too. yet they are committed as hell and it's something they've been able to work through.

i think most people can't ever get over the betrayal of trust and emotional fallout that comes with cheating, but some of them can. it probably depends a whole lot on (1) the reasons for the cheating; and (2) what else is going on in the relationship.
Joined: 5/12/2009
Msg: 1268
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/14/2009 6:13:19 AM

Cheating- can you forgive?

The better question to ask is:

Do you want to forgive? There's a need to hold onto the anarchy too long in today's society. I was cheated on, just last year. I'm done with it. Sometimes, we want to linger in the action far too long.

Reality check. What we wanted was to be the person on the receiving end of the intimacy dispersed towards someone else. There's nothing wrong with that. And, that we feel that our partner was already moving past sometimes hard to swallow. But, that isn't for us to place them in the judgment seat. I loved my wife, but I realise that she needed something I wasn't providing for some reason at that time. The thing I remember is that during my nearly 8-year marriage is that I was providing lots of other things that kept us going for that length of time. And that after all was said and done, she was showing me something vastly important. That good sex doesn't just cut it. That there are far more intangibles that make relationships last, and those need as much if not more attention.

Forgiving these situations are just as essential to living a healthy life, as they are an essential to enjoying a future relationship.

"To err is human; to forgive is divine."

Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 1269
view profile
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/14/2009 6:33:07 AM
You can forgive them...but don't take them back.
Joined: 6/20/2009
Msg: 1270
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/20/2009 7:15:20 AM
I was cheated on many years ago, and you CAN work through it. It is all in how you feel about yourself, and even though it's probably pretty low right now, it will take time but you WILL feel better. NOBODY should have the power over you to make you feel badly about yourself. When it's over it's over. Be honest, and Don't cheat !! As the saying goes " I would do for you what you do for me."
Joined: 11/14/2005
Msg: 1271
view profile
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/20/2009 7:55:06 AM
I think they can be forgiven. I don't see how I could ever cheat myself but if someone was to cheat on me, as hurt as I may be at first, if this person shows any signs of remorse for her actions than I would most likely end up forgiving her. For one thing, I firmly believe that people change constantly. We are shaped by our experiences and, whether we realize it or not, we are all changing on a daily basis.

Another part of me also feels that I do not own this person and she is free to do whatever she chooses with or without my consent. Yes, I would feel betrayed by her actions and hurt by the lack of communication but there is nothing I can do to restrict her from cheating if she wants to. However, if it does get to the point where someone cheats, it is usually a clear indication that the relationship failed a long time ago.

I would not want to be in a relationship with this person until I know that I can trust her again but I don't think I would just stop loving her either. To me, love is unconditional and I would be willing to forgive regardless of whether or not we are in a relationship. However, if she is willing to make the effort to rebuild that trust, than I would also be willing to do the same (assuming that I haven't already moved on to someone else).
 Eye have you
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 1272
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/20/2009 8:12:59 AM
No it wont work... You willalways have it on your mind, you will want the details.. They will hurt... Sure a strong person can sit and endure the pain, but a stronger person can walk away from the pain and move on
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 1273
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/21/2009 9:03:51 PM
forgiveness is for the person doing the forgiving, not the person receiving. Forgiveness is about finding peace; not a way of forgetting, or becoming a doormat.

That said, sometimes I still cry and wonder why they did it.

Then the mantra comes in handy -- "it's not about me, it's about them." It wasn't something I said or did, or didn't say or didn't do. It was something about them that they needed sex with another woman more than they needed my respect or their own self-respect and integrity.
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 1274
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/21/2009 9:14:48 PM
I think you can forgive, but forget -- not really.

I was cheated on but then again our relationship from the start was pretty messed up.....on again/off again, hmm so was it really cheating? I don't know, I try not to dwell on it. He knew he messed up and he was definitely on a very short leash. I've never seen a man so emotional in my life! I believe there are guys who cheat and don't give a sh!t who they're hurt. And then there are guys who cheat and have seen the hurt and betrayal they've caused and never cheat again. I thank God he was the latter.
 read only
Joined: 8/22/2008
Msg: 1275
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/21/2009 9:35:57 PM
Haven't read any other post in this thread, but no way.

Cheating is the absolute worst thing a person could do.
 Single_in_ H_town
Joined: 6/14/2009
Msg: 1277
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/21/2009 11:38:45 PM
if someone cheated on me once, they get a 2nd chance, but if they cheat again, it just proves to me they dont care about me and thats where I draw the line

some guys stick around however, my sister cheated on her boyfriend over five times, and yet he wouldnt leave her, and she broke it off with him after about a week later

I didnt think my sister was the type who would do that to a person she loved, honestly I still dont get why she did that.
Joined: 7/14/2009
Msg: 1278
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/21/2009 11:52:39 PM
Honestly, I have mixed feelings about this. I can't stand cheaters. I've never given someone who cheated on me a 2nd chance. But a lot of people believe that they do deserve a 2nd chance. But...if you forgive them, are you just telling them that it's okay to do that?
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 1279
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/22/2009 12:14:34 AM
I dont condone cheaters or cheating what so ever... Seriously majority of the times if you forgive them once they feel they can walk all over you anytime they want. Granted their are some people who can change but like the saying goes a tiger doesnt change it stripes overnight. (which is weird becuase tigers stripes never change lol but you get what im saying) Like people need to personally experience life and if someone cheats on you they never respected or value you from the start...
 Crunchy Tacos
Joined: 3/26/2009
Msg: 1280
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/22/2009 12:57:02 AM
The only way to guarantee this doesn't happen to you again by this same person is to not have them in your life.
Joined: 7/18/2009
Msg: 1281
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/22/2009 1:42:19 AM
hey, i have been cheated on a couple times everytime hurts. makes u feel as if your not good enough for the person u love. to answer your question u have to ask yourself is this person worth forgiving, we all make mistakes. how much do i love this person and are they truely sorry about what they did. only you can tell since we dont know them. i was cheated on by a girl i forgave her and are relationship lasted very long and we had lots of fun together sadly we departed ways becuase of my job. but she never did cheat again and to this day she says she loves me and cant wait for me to come home again. to be together. so ask urself this if you forgive him and he does cheat again your no worse off than if you didnt forgive him the first time. but if you do forgive him and he doesnt cheat well you made the right choice. if u do forgive him you gotta set some kind of ground rules and if he is truely sorry he well except them no matter what they are.
Joined: 9/2/2007
Msg: 1282
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/22/2009 1:54:03 AM
I've been cheated on by someone I was actually preparing to spend the rest of my life with..we were in the process of looking for a place together..when it happened he did propose for over 3 days...crying the entire time...what did I do...I skipped the country to recollect and find myself again and figure out what I needed to do...I decided if I can live without him...I will...if not, then I'll work on it...whatdya know..I got over him so we never worked on it and went separate ways...moral of the story...if you can move on without's just not worth the energy to "work on it" and move on...if I had never seen him as my future... I wouldn't even contemplate working on it...he's is the relationship as evident by his actions anyways.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  >