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 Minau
Joined: 9/2/2007
Msg: 1326
Cheating- can you forgive?Page 54 of 59    (19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59)
^^^I agree...just lying alone I have an issue with...imagine physical and emotional betrayal...monogamy is the most sacred necessity in a relationship in order to ensure a happy, healthy, trusting, secure relationship...if you can't have that...then the relationship is pointless and superficial at best...for those who continue to sustain it.
 freesoulck
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 1327
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 2/25/2009 1:30:25 AM
yes, for sure you can overcome that 'fallacy'. It's your choice and in your power to decide if you want to quit or not. A healthy mentality includes being able to change your mind. So go ahead.
 freesoulck
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 1328
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 2/25/2009 1:45:20 AM
My sympathy to you. But do you try to solve the problem in your relationship? Did you try to understand his mental status before your judgement? When you are busy claiming moral high ground, do you truly and honestly put enough effort in your relationship?
 Helen1967
Joined: 9/10/2008
Msg: 1329
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 2/25/2009 1:49:15 AM
I could forgive it once.

No more.

If we were going to stay together, we'd have to work on why it happened.
 Devadee
Joined: 1/30/2009
Msg: 1330
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 2/25/2009 4:49:44 PM
Look I thought I met the man of my dreams. I dated him for 3.5 years and if we were not together we stayed on the phone for hours. I just found out that he was messing around not just one woman but others . I never had been cheated on and always wounder why a woman never could see it. The reason that this man was so good is because he had perfected his game over the years. So when you forgive you are just giving them power over you. you may forgive, but you will never forget. So move on. Its hard but face it now or later.
 HeartyLips
Joined: 7/25/2008
Msg: 1331
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 2/25/2009 5:07:51 PM
I can forgive him but he need to disappear in my life.
 dutchesofsyr2
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 1332
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 2/25/2009 5:23:40 PM
That is a tough question,never been in that situation.AND hope never to be.
 Omaha Adventures
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 1333
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 2/26/2009 9:36:51 AM
Nope, 2 schools of thought. 1. Can you really bring yourself to forgive & FORGET? 2. They went elsewhere for something, therefore something was/is missing between you two..Move on
 foxy lady 000
Joined: 2/23/2009
Msg: 1334
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 3/2/2009 2:27:26 PM
i met someone last june fell hopelessly in love with him, he cheated, i took him back, he cheated again, i took him back, i keep telling myself he'l change although deep down i dont really believe it, im now embarassed to tell friends etc that ive seen him again i know i should walk away, should have enough self esteem to tell him where to go, i dont understand any of it why do people do it and why do i put up with it
 cutie_2
Joined: 2/26/2009
Msg: 1335
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 3/2/2009 3:09:04 PM
I would have a hard time forgiving... I think I would always think about it when I would make love again to him which would likely have a negative impact on the relationship.

I guess it would also depend on the circumstances, eg. how long have you been dating since this happened, were you happy with your sex life or were there any problems? Does he have regrets?
 Blk_Archangel7
Joined: 12/21/2007
Msg: 1336
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 3/2/2009 3:12:33 PM
I would forgive her but move on with someone else that would have better respect for me.
 djnicktyler
Joined: 8/29/2006
Msg: 1337
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 3/2/2009 3:15:22 PM
the lowest circles of hell are reserved for betrayers...
it will never be the same anyway... he will think he can do whatever he wants from now on... don't
 madeinbrazilchick
Joined: 9/4/2008
Msg: 1338
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History
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 3/2/2009 3:50:17 PM
No,dont believe they will ever change. Im devastaded because recently I found out my x boyfriend of 5 years was cheating on me AGAIN.!!! Yes, i forgave him the first time,we were 7 months together and he lied saying he had broken up with his girlfriend who lived abroad. Got busted when she decided to surprise him showing up at work(we used to work together)
and now,One year with another girl and they were together already 8 months when I broke up with him...the only reason i found out was cause he never stopped texting me and when i heard rumours I answered to ask him. He should win the oscar, he denied,swore on his sons soul and started "seeing me" again.....but God always shows us, I was having nightmares and other things,then i found her on the net and gave her my number:Busted AGAIN..... listen,this time it hurt 1000 times worse! Ive already lost so much weight,i dont sleep and look like a crazy person at work...the depression is taking over and I feel like Im nothing but gargabe...
So,of course,when we love we become dumb and blind(women) but if you forgive him,FOR SURE he will do it again cause he knows he can...
 Medrengard
Joined: 2/26/2009
Msg: 1339
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 3/2/2009 3:51:49 PM
^ The first part of the Ninth circle, actually. Not easy to get much lower.

Also, no.
 leannet1981
Joined: 7/20/2008
Msg: 1340
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 3/2/2009 3:56:04 PM
i could forgive them but id never ever get back with them i had it done to me and he done it with my best mate, but the way i see it its there loss, theres plenty more fish in the sea why waste it with someone who disrespects you!!
 madeinbrazilchick
Joined: 9/4/2008
Msg: 1341
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History
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 3/2/2009 4:10:34 PM
I understand your pain..its not us,its them! They are the garbage but we are idiots sometimes... I also dont understand the cheating thing...especially when you have a daily, wild, crazy sex life.....arent you tired,man? Thats why I cant deal with that....he's not human to fool me like that for 5 years....Unfortunately people are not the same...
And now he is turning me into a little heartless monster How do you expect me to trust another man???
 shaunt12345
Joined: 3/9/2006
Msg: 1342
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 3/2/2009 4:32:29 PM
well i hope some people can my misses just caught me cheating on here aswell as other sites an i nearly lost her again but this time i think i av learnt as i think she might do it back out of revenge,,,,, so soz 2 all the gals i led on on here i shouldnt have
 tallyover
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 1343
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 3/2/2009 5:16:45 PM
I believe that it's up to the cheater to figure out how to get forgiveness. The cheater made the mistake, so it's that persons job to solve the problem.
 evolution_99
Joined: 10/10/2008
Msg: 1344
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 3/2/2009 6:09:06 PM
YES,
That doesn't mean letting the betrayer back into my life. I forgive for myself not for them and I move on.........
 janb40
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 1345
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History
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 3/2/2009 8:22:08 PM
It is not easy but it is possible. First you have to forgive and forget. Forgetting is the problem with most people. My husband started cheating after 25 years of marriage. When I found out, I did not yell at him, I never said anything. I found out what the woman looked like and went to the beauty shop and had my hair streaked like hers. I found him on the street corner using the telephone. I waited for him to come home. All I said was since you liked streaked hair, I had my hair done for you. He laughed and made fun of it. I didn't care and did not let it bother me. I made a point. Instead of being jealous and worrying, I just started showing him for affection and love and did more for him. We stayed married until he died in 2003. (45 yrs)

The biggest mistake women make when they find out their husband or boyfriend is cheating is they yell, throw it up to them and accuse them. If you don't accuse or get mad and say anything, they will feel guilty and have to deal with it. When you yell, your man will feel justified that he got his punishment for what he did and he will repeat it because you take away the guilt.

I'm not saying this will work in every situation, but I do know it worked for me. Also I know that usually when there is a problem in a relationship it is never one sided. It may seem like it to you or to him but the truth is somewhere something has happened. It is usually something very small that don't amount to a hill of beans but things get of hand and leads on to bigger issues.

If you really love the person, you could give him another chance. It is not the end of the world and none of us are perfect.

Janice
 Valentinne
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 1346
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Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 3/2/2009 8:30:31 PM
I wouldn't, but I know that pain too closely. I won't do it again EVER.
 Asassylady
Joined: 2/16/2009
Msg: 1347
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 3/2/2009 8:41:07 PM
I would never forgive and would walk away from a person like that in a heartbeat, If you have no trust and not enough respect for another person why be in a relationship and hurt them... Stay footloose ad fancy free then.
 daytimer69
Joined: 8/24/2006
Msg: 1348
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Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 3/3/2009 9:44:25 PM
ya know, people don't cheat unless something is missing in their relationship. For me, I have tried to explain to my spouse EXACTLY what is missing and she says "I understand" and things will get better but they NEVER do. I could forgive, never forget but I would have to ask her....what am I not giving you to cause you to cheat.

If you are giving to each other everything the other person wants and needs then there will not be a reason to cheat PERIOD
 daytimer69
Joined: 8/24/2006
Msg: 1349
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History
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 3/3/2009 9:44:59 PM
if you cant forget you cannot forgive
 Cherish Luv
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 1350
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 3/3/2009 10:03:33 PM
If you are in a relationship wherein both proclaim love for each other and one is cheating then run from the relationship. Can you forgive someone cheating on you? You have to forget before you can forgive. Who forgets they've been cheated on! If they proclaim love for you and can cheat on you then you can bank on them cheating again.
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