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Joined: 7/21/2009
Msg: 1294
Cheating- can you forgive?Page 55 of 59    (19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59)
You will have to decide.
If you feel YOU are Worth it.
Worth feeling loved
Worth feeling true
Worth feeling honored
Worth feeling trust
Worth feeling respected
Worth feeling safe
Worth feeling sure
Worth feeling complete
Worth being loyal to
Worth feeling Happy.

It is ONLY YOUR LIFE to decide.
Love yourself first, and you will know your worth.
The bottom line is, the person who is worth your tears will not make you cry.
Love is not deceitful. Never will be.
Joined: 6/2/2008
Msg: 1297
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Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 7/27/2009 5:40:39 PM
I am living proof that cheating doesn't mean the end of a relationship. I cheated on my then b/f, now husband and he caught me dead to rights. I confessed everything and we have been happily married for almost 10 years (we have been together for 17 years). You have to be a really strong person to forgive. He did say if I had lied, he would have left me. It was the fact that I told him the truth that we are still together today --- and the truth shall set you free.

We now have an open marriage and the most honest relationship I have ever had. Have the same deal with my FWB --- he knows if I see anyone new.

Might not work for everyone, but it did for me.
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 1303
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 8/13/2009 5:54:02 PM

Well, that's the whole thing. I don't mean to preach but you are still young. One day if your lucky you'll meet someone and in a sense you will be joined at the hip. You won't want to go out getting drunk without them. You won't want to go anywhere without them, nor they without you. You get invited somewhere and the first thought that comes to your mind is " can they come too ? " People in love don't cheat because they don't want to. There isn't anybody else they want to do it with. The whole idea of the other person cheating would actually be funny. You'd actually say, " You thought that person could do you better than me? " , and you'd laugh about it. And it'd be true. People in love are drawn together like gravity, like invisible strings. You wake up at midnight after great sex and it dawns on you that you have spent the whole day in that other persons company, without noticing it until just now. Between people in love. Cheating is totaly beside the point. Almost a rediculous idea.


 Hopeles Romantic
Joined: 5/20/2009
Msg: 1304
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 8/13/2009 5:57:42 PM
Can I forgive? Yes. I would like to think I'm a forgiving man. Can I ever trust again or stay in that relationship? Simply put, NO.
Joined: 11/25/2004
Msg: 1312
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Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 8/13/2009 8:19:07 PM
I will never forgive if it is intetional.....why?
Joined: 8/14/2008
Msg: 1314
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Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 8/17/2009 5:26:30 PM
i've been cheated on before - by several women - and eventually forgiven them.

i've also been on the other side and have been the cheater. i hurt a really nice girl and have told myself from that point on that i would never cheat again.

it really sucks. no one should cheat. and it happens far more than anyone knows or realizes. look at ashleymadison, or even sites like womansavers, dontdatehimgirl, or people are scandalous!!!
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 1317
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 8/23/2009 12:25:59 PM
Forgive? Yes. Absolutely.

Take them back? NEVER, EVER!

Once someone destroys trust, there is no longer a solid foundation for a relationship. And the last thing I want to do is be with someone that I have to constantly wonder "when are they going to do it again?"

No thank you.
Joined: 12/23/2006
Msg: 1323
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 9/15/2009 12:03:17 PM
anything can be forgiven, but forgotten? NOT HARDLY!!
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 1328
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 9/15/2009 1:52:17 PM

I actually called up the last two cunexttuesdays (don't want to curse!) and said calmly "hey, would you mind coming over and taking care of our 3 children, do the housework/laundry/errands/cooking/shopping/dog work, etc, while my H and I go out somewhere? They hung up on me, never to be heard from again. Interesting

I love it.......good for you!!
In my first marriage my friend thought my ex was EVERYTHING......i think had a lot to do with the $$$$$$, as he had a bunch!!
However she kept coming down to ask him for help with different things, help with kids swingset, etc.
I walked out to the car after second time she came down. I told her." I have absolutely NO Problem with you wanting my can have him...but take his laundry with you.....and for Goodness' sake don't think you are gonna return him!!"
My husband was dumbfounded. He was actually helping her out because she was a
" friend" of mine and he thought he should because of me. She got all red in the face, peeled out and I never saw her again. I did hear from my other friends how cute she thought he was, that I was too goody two shoes, and he would get tired of me soon.
Well as it ended, I left him, but it had nothing to do with cheating.
Joined: 9/11/2009
Msg: 1329
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 9/15/2009 3:12:15 PM
i have been down this road befor trying to forgive and try to forget but it does not work the feeling goes way and then a few weeks later you will feel untrustworthy again towards them
in my case my ex was texting another guy and sending nude pics of her self its not psychical cheating but cheating none the less. maybe if we had kids id stick with it for them but we didnt . even if you had kids you would never be able to fully get over it
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 1332
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Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 9/16/2009 1:36:40 AM
my past 3 relationships turned out to all be cheats. i tried to revive my last relationship when she cheated on me. and she only broke my heart a few weeks after that.

I'm actually in doubt of continuing dating because of it. take a year or 2 for myself.

I'm Sorry.

Once a Cheater. Always a Cheater
Joined: 9/14/2009
Msg: 1333
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 9/17/2009 4:22:58 PM
I haven't been cheated on but having a guy look at others like he is almost in love is embarrassing and ALSO like cheating...why don't they leave THEN...because how could they really care? I think those who forgive the worst kinds are not a whole lot better themselves. When I meet a guy I tell them bkuntly (when we start to get serious) tell me exactly the way you feel about this and this..etc...because I won'y be loving the REAL you if I don't know... and there are plenty of sluts for them to use so maybe they won't lie just to get more in time.
Joined: 7/6/2005
Msg: 1335
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Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 9/17/2009 6:29:31 PM
I think I would. I don't have that strong emotional reaction to the idea of being cheated on. If the rest of the relationship still works, the fact that she got sex elsewhere at some point wouldn't be that big a deal to me.
Joined: 9/27/2006
Msg: 1336
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 9/17/2009 6:43:59 PM
I was cheated on by my first ex, and it took a long time for me to get over it. My ex wound up having a shotgun wedding to the woman he cheated on me with, and they are still together. I recently found out he was taken to court to pay for a child he help create when he cheated on his current wife. I really dont think cheaters ever loose their spots.

For me, I did eventually forgiven my ex, but I have never forgot what he did to me. I left when I found out he had cheated on me, as that was something I could not live with or put up with.

I attended his mothers funeral this year, as I thought she was a wonderful woman and I was sorry to learn of her death. It had been 30 years since I had last seen my ex and I needed to have his brother who I see regularily in business point him out to me after the funeral. It was funny because he did not recognize me either, and when his brother introduced us, he had a shocked look on his face. I think its safe to say that I have aged better than he has, but it was fun catching up. I hold no ill will or nasty wishes for him, but I would never believe anything that ever came out of his mouth, or put myself in a position where I would have to rely or trust him, as he proved himself unworthty to me. I had a wonderful time catching up to people I knew a lifetime ago, and I am not sorry in the least for leaving him.
Joined: 9/6/2009
Msg: 1338
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 9/17/2009 8:27:45 PM
ur right once a cheater will always be that way ive been through a 7 yr relationship like that fine someone who really cares for u if this guy really did care he would have done it and yes they will do it over and over they just get better of liying and being sneky
Joined: 8/19/2009
Msg: 1339
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Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 10/5/2009 7:04:30 PM
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 1340
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 10/5/2009 7:11:29 PM
but trust comes later and much harder.
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 1341
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 10/5/2009 7:21:45 PM
you can forgive and that's healthy but you'll never forget and once trust is's over.
Joined: 12/20/2008
Msg: 1343
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 10/6/2009 12:19:45 PM
please listen to this if you were married to this guy and he did cheat on you that means he's being stupid and ignorant and has no respect for you and he does not deserve to be forgiven but if it's was just a relationship that's very common and both men and women cheat
Joined: 9/29/2009
Msg: 1344
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 10/6/2009 12:28:35 PM
No, you can't. Well, that's not quite true. A better way of saying it is no, you shouldn't. If monogamy is important to you, think of what you are telling a cheater if you forgive them. You're saying, "I'm weak. I have low self-esteem. I am so pathetic and desperate for your affection you can lie to me, sleep with other women, and I'll forgive you. " Are those the terms on which you want to conduct a relationship?
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 1345
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 10/6/2009 2:30:23 PM

just a relationship

People with honor and integrity do NOT cheat because it is "just a relationship". With dating one cannot expect a person to be committed to that, but in a defined realtionship...I would think so. I would not be interested in being the " other party" if my SO were not on the same page
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 1346
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 10/6/2009 4:51:17 PM
You can forgive,

BUT you will NEVER forget.

Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 1347
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 10/6/2009 8:38:44 PM
Yeah, sure you can forgive. You can even be friends. Heck, you might even trust the person again at some point. ...But you'll never really respect that person again...and that's not an "uppity" or defensive statement. That's just plain fact. You'll just never view them as you used to. They seem off their pedestal all of a sudden and that's pretty well permanent. Makes logical sense, actually. How can you respect someone whose values just aren't there? Btw, people make excuses, rationalize, etc, but really boils down to lack of character. If you're under duress, you do the right thing...and that does not include cheating!
 Inego Montoya
Joined: 9/9/2009
Msg: 1349
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 10/10/2009 12:14:23 AM
josie555 ,
My second wife was a cheater. Married her because she said "I've changed, and I really love you, I didn't love him."

Sad to say, once a cheater, always a cheater.
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 1350
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Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 10/10/2009 3:28:46 AM
Yes it is true, once a cheater, that is why Im divorced as I do not and can not forgive cheating, too many stds out there and I will not place myself at risk. If I'm not respected, I don't stick around.
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