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 TedJMill
Joined: 7/6/2005
Msg: 1335
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Cheating- can you forgive?Page 59 of 59    (19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59)
I think I would. I don't have that strong emotional reaction to the idea of being cheated on. If the rest of the relationship still works, the fact that she got sex elsewhere at some point wouldn't be that big a deal to me.
 haywiresue
Joined: 9/27/2006
Msg: 1336
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 9/17/2009 6:43:59 PM
I was cheated on by my first ex, and it took a long time for me to get over it. My ex wound up having a shotgun wedding to the woman he cheated on me with, and they are still together. I recently found out he was taken to court to pay for a child he help create when he cheated on his current wife. I really dont think cheaters ever loose their spots.

For me, I did eventually forgiven my ex, but I have never forgot what he did to me. I left when I found out he had cheated on me, as that was something I could not live with or put up with.

I attended his mothers funeral this year, as I thought she was a wonderful woman and I was sorry to learn of her death. It had been 30 years since I had last seen my ex and I needed to have his brother who I see regularily in business point him out to me after the funeral. It was funny because he did not recognize me either, and when his brother introduced us, he had a shocked look on his face. I think its safe to say that I have aged better than he has, but it was fun catching up. I hold no ill will or nasty wishes for him, but I would never believe anything that ever came out of his mouth, or put myself in a position where I would have to rely or trust him, as he proved himself unworthty to me. I had a wonderful time catching up to people I knew a lifetime ago, and I am not sorry in the least for leaving him.
 Sturgis_girl
Joined: 9/6/2009
Msg: 1338
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 9/17/2009 8:27:45 PM
ur right once a cheater will always be that way ive been through a 7 yr relationship like that fine someone who really cares for u if this guy really did care he would have done it and yes they will do it over and over they just get better of liying and being sneky
 Southernbelle1953
Joined: 8/19/2009
Msg: 1339
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Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 10/5/2009 7:04:30 PM
U R RIGHT, ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER, KICK HIM TO THE CURB AND GO FISHING AGAIN FOR A NON CHEATER. I KNOW, THEIR HARD TO FIND. HOPE UR CHEATER AINT THE PLAYER & LIAR FROM IOWA. HAVE A GREAT NIGHT & HAPPY FISHING.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 1340
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 10/5/2009 7:11:29 PM
yes,
but trust comes later and much harder.
 InNCsearching
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 1341
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 10/5/2009 7:21:45 PM
you can forgive and that's healthy but you'll never forget and once trust is broken...it's over.
 pittpa
Joined: 12/20/2008
Msg: 1343
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 10/6/2009 12:19:45 PM
please listen to this if you were married to this guy and he did cheat on you that means he's being stupid and ignorant and has no respect for you and he does not deserve to be forgiven but if it's was just a relationship that's very common and both men and women cheat
 Chitownguy40
Joined: 9/29/2009
Msg: 1344
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 10/6/2009 12:28:35 PM
No, you can't. Well, that's not quite true. A better way of saying it is no, you shouldn't. If monogamy is important to you, think of what you are telling a cheater if you forgive them. You're saying, "I'm weak. I have low self-esteem. I am so pathetic and desperate for your affection you can lie to me, sleep with other women, and I'll forgive you. " Are those the terms on which you want to conduct a relationship?
 ichi-bon
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 1345
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 10/6/2009 2:30:23 PM

just a relationship

People with honor and integrity do NOT cheat because it is "just a relationship". With dating one cannot expect a person to be committed to that, but in a defined realtionship...I would think so. I would not be interested in being the " other party" if my SO were not on the same page
 GQSunset
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 1346
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 10/6/2009 4:51:17 PM
You can forgive,

BUT you will NEVER forget.

RUN.
 FluffyBrain
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 1347
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 10/6/2009 8:38:44 PM
Yeah, sure you can forgive. You can even be friends. Heck, you might even trust the person again at some point. ...But you'll never really respect that person again...and that's not an "uppity" or defensive statement. That's just plain fact. You'll just never view them as you used to. They seem off their pedestal all of a sudden and that's pretty well permanent. Makes logical sense, actually. How can you respect someone whose values just aren't there? Btw, people make excuses, rationalize, etc, but really boils down to lack of character. If you're under duress, you do the right thing...and that does not include cheating!
 Cindy A. S.
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 1348
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 10/7/2009 5:03:07 PM
Once a cheater -always a cheater---- He hits you once_he will hit again.
There are men out there that do not cheat---not many--but I have been cheated on so many times and know you aren't to blame. I was a loving kind, worked at trying to be my best, he just loved to cheat.
 Inego Montoya
Joined: 9/9/2009
Msg: 1349
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 10/10/2009 12:14:23 AM
josie555 ,
My second wife was a cheater. Married her because she said "I've changed, and I really love you, I didn't love him."

Sad to say, once a cheater, always a cheater.
 brownie360
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 1350
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Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 10/10/2009 3:28:46 AM
Yes it is true, once a cheater, that is why Im divorced as I do not and can not forgive cheating, too many stds out there and I will not place myself at risk. If I'm not respected, I don't stick around.
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