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 flame_tiger86
Joined: 5/11/2005
Msg: 4
The ultimate heartbreakPage 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Sorry for your loss susieque. My grandmother passed away earlier this year and even with that I can't imagine the pain you must be going through right now. I wish I could reach past these computer screens to give you a hug. I am sure he is in a better place now without any pain, looking down and smiling, knowing that he had the best mother whom loved him with all her heart.
 Nghtshft
Joined: 11/26/2005
Msg: 7
The ultimate heartbreak
Posted: 12/15/2005 12:32:28 PM
Hiya Susie....

Your story is a sign of your courage through these difficult times. If only there were words to express my thoughts right now...My eyes too are tear filled with your loss...no parent should endure the loss of a child as you have. Please know that you are in my prayers.
Be strong for your youngest child for it is most difficult for him as well.

My most sincere condolences to you....

Nght
 veni vedi vici
Joined: 12/9/2005
Msg: 8
The ultimate heartbreak
Posted: 12/15/2005 3:06:27 PM
i wish you the best....
 snowbird1111
Joined: 5/15/2005
Msg: 11
The ultimate heartbreak
Posted: 12/15/2005 11:41:00 PM
Words cannot express what is in my heart for what you are going through... I am so sorry for your loss
God bless you
 darkstorm73
Joined: 6/18/2005
Msg: 12
The ultimate heartbreak
Posted: 12/16/2005 6:39:28 AM
I heard once that it is those with the most character that God gives the most challenges to. My heart goes out to you and your family during this first holiday without your son. I know that there is nothing that can ever make it better, but at least you had his last breath as you had his first. When you think of him, think of all the wonderful pictures your heart has taken and hold them to you...
 SassySandi
Joined: 11/23/2005
Msg: 15
The ultimate heartbreak
Posted: 12/16/2005 7:49:30 AM
Dearest Susie,

I am typing this with tears in my eyes because I am also reliving my pain as I read about yours. I lost my oldest daughter over 15 years ago. Her birthday is December 28th so this is a rough time of year for me, too.

Susie, it's still new for you and let yourself feel what it is you feel. There is an organization called Compassionate Friends and it is only for us, the parents of children who have died. It saved my life and sanity all those many years ago. To just sit in a room with other people who knew, really knew a pain beyond describing.

Take care of yourself, now, and gather your other son to you and your friends. Anyone who has not experienced this, cannot truly understand the pain, yet their support is valuable, too. You need all the help you can get now.

You are a strong woman, as I was and am, and you will get through this. We both knew it was inevitable that our children would not survive us. Don't let anyone tell you, it will get better; it won't. It only gets different and you learn to endure and live again when you are ready.

If there's anything more I can do for you, please email me and I will give you my personal email address.

My heart and my tears are with you.

Caringly,

Sandi
 _Thisisme_
Joined: 4/17/2005
Msg: 17
view profile
History
The ultimate heartbreak
Posted: 12/16/2005 8:29:06 AM
Oh my God Susie...I'm so sorry to hear about your son. The thought of losing one of my children is terrifying...I can't imagine your pain!

Do you have support around you? Take advantage of their love if you do and do so without guilt.....you have that right. If you're not fortunate enough to have a support system to help you through this....grief counsellors can be a Godsend. They can be a Godsend even with the support system.

Your sorrow must be tremendous. All three of you are in my heart and countless others. Hold on to each other and give each other the strength to go on in spite of this tragedy. He would have wanted it that way.
 spring0308
Joined: 11/14/2005
Msg: 18
The ultimate heartbreak
Posted: 12/17/2005 10:17:48 PM
You are an amazing mother and woman! You inspire me, Susieque. Most people on this forum talk about selfish quests for love, the *right* person or relationship. My own trivial pursuit are sooo shallow compared to what you have gone through and are going through now. I am truly humbled. I may never know how much pain you are feeling but please, please, keep your chin up and trust that you will overcome this as you have every other challenge that life has thrown your way. Cliche, Susieque, but trust that everything happens for a reason that is so beyond us at the moment overwhelming things happen. I look forward to seeing your post again in a few days' time, hoping you will get better as time passes. Please feel free to email me when you feel down.
 Bigger Guy
Joined: 10/3/2005
Msg: 22
view profile
History
The ultimate heartbreak
Posted: 12/18/2005 12:08:17 AM
I am so sorry for your loss ... no parent should ever have to bury their own child.
I don't know what your beliefs are, but I believe that when something like this happens it is a relief for the person who passed on and that they no longer suffer and acutally are better off than us .... but the grief you feel must be overwhelming ..... keep him alive in your life and Thank God that you were there for both his arrival and departure .... you were allowed a special gift for a time and you were given the gift of being with him at his transformation to eternal life ... you have been blessed .... understand it as that.
My sister passed on many years back ..... I was too young to understand anything about it ... my Mom occasionally talked about it, but it took a portion of her when it happened ..... even my father, the big tough air force bomber pilot, got teary eyed when she was mentioned. When my Mom was in her last days she brightened up and told me that she was going to see her again! She knew ..... I know it.
We are here for but a ripple in time and we will see those we love transformed form imperfection to perfection and from body and soul to spirit alive. Rest assured that you will have comfort and that he will be there to greet you when your alloted time has come. In the mean time .... you have his spirit imprinted on your soul ..... you will move on and you will be stronger because of the gifts you have been allowed.
God will never allow you more than you are able to handle ..... it is his promise ... along with his promise of never ending and unconditional love. So take heart .... you are loved and you are special...... and you are in our prayers.
 mogrl
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 23
The ultimate heartbreak
Posted: 12/18/2005 3:49:55 AM
you are a wonderful person and a true mother.I really hope you find happyness again.Good luck!
 A_REAL_Sweetheart
Joined: 10/11/2005
Msg: 24
The ultimate heartbreak
Posted: 12/19/2005 4:32:15 AM
Dearest Susie, My heart truly goes out to you. I know that nothing I or others say can take away the pain of your loss, but there are obviously kind-hearted people on this site, who really do feel for you. I have only one child, who means the world to me. The thought of going through what you have and are experiencing is one of my worst fears. Especially with it being the holidays and all, I really hope you have emotional support from friends and family. He will still be with you in spirit, in your heart, mind and soul. You and your son will be in my prayers.
 racind42
Joined: 9/25/2005
Msg: 25
The ultimate heartbreak
Posted: 1/14/2006 8:59:49 AM
So sorry to hear about your loss. You are an outstanding lady to have provided for your boys the way you have. It is very difficult at these times to understand why this happens.
My thoughts and heart go out to you. Rely on your strength and all your friends and family.
 Reenie999
Joined: 11/7/2005
Msg: 26
The ultimate heartbreak
Posted: 1/14/2006 9:21:24 AM
My oldest son was killed instantly in an auto accident in NC in 1985. I never even got the chance to say goodbye. Time distances the pain somewhat but the hurt never heals.

My heart goes out to you in your terrible loss.
 Mo-Mo
Joined: 10/23/2005
Msg: 27
The ultimate heartbreak
Posted: 1/14/2006 11:14:47 AM
My heart goes out to you . There is no pain greater than losing a child.
I lost my son almost 5 years ago and my heart still hurts. Take this time to be good to yourself and let those people around you that care about you help. I found it very difficult to let others try to console me and wanted to withdraw from the world. In the end it was my friends and family that helped me through the tough times once i let them in.
Good luck in your recovery.. Big hugs to you .
My favorite asaying since i lost my son is "when you lose someone you love you gain an angel you know "

Take Care
Bren
 ashleymp
Joined: 6/2/2006
Msg: 29
The ultimate heartbreak
Posted: 11/11/2006 5:32:06 PM
I'm sorry. I don't have any kids, but I know that for parents who lose a child the pain is unbearable. My Grandmother died and I can't get over it. What feels so bad was that She was always there for me and I couldn't even be at her deathbed (being nearly 2000 miles apart). I wish I could rewind time and just tell her "i love you" at the moment she was dying. I cry over it, and I just miss her so badly....
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