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 Adam 4 Coffee
Joined: 5/31/2007
Msg: 184
why do men get so bent out of shape when a woman says no thanks?Page 3 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
Every guy has sex on the brain and then there is soemthing called netiquette. People need to show respect to other people. If its not appopriate in rela lif eits probably not ok on the interweb. But some women get so turned off about talking about sex. In fact I have been rejected for my profile in the past even mentioned that I enjoy sex. Some people don't like sex at all they are either religious freaks or They have bad opinions about sex or they ahve bneen used for sex and think any guy who even mentions sex is a pervert and won't date him. so Guys dont; talk about sex so early before you get to know the girl. And Gals, Don't be so hard ont he guy. Unless he just gets nasty that's when you end the conversation.
 Adam 4 Coffee
Joined: 5/31/2007
Msg: 185
why do men get so bent out of shape when a woman says no thanks?
Posted: 3/13/2008 2:27:14 AM
Well it is common courtesy to reply to a message. I actually am more offened if I don;t get a reply or ifmy message is deleted without even being read. ever have that?
 northeast25
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 194
why do men get so bent out of shape when a woman says no thanks?
Posted: 4/22/2008 1:58:53 PM
my experience has proven that at least 80% of the guys on here turn vicious if they do not get what they want.


IMO some women exaggerate the amount of rude responses they get after rejecting a man. I know several women who have used POF at some point. They got some rude responses, but not anywhere close to 80%.

I think in some cases a man is mean to a woman only because she rejected him in a rude way. Sometimes a woman could say something rude ( or least without tact ) and not realize it.

Also there are some women will be mean to a man after he rejects her. This is a 2 way street. The only difference is men have to deal with rejection more often on POF. Because men are more likely to make initial contact.
 InSydney
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 221
why do men get so bent out of shape when a woman says no thanks?
Posted: 8/19/2008 5:27:56 AM

Because men don't like rejections. Enough said. And it's vice versa!


Sure, you could view a "No" as a rejection......or you could view it as an expression of physical incompatibility. Imagine what the world would be like if we were physically attracted to every person we looked at - we wouldn't get any work done LOL! Who said rabbits were lazy - they're just visual creatures :)
 Seas_the_Day
Joined: 7/20/2008
Msg: 223
why do men get so bent out of shape when a woman says no thanks?
Posted: 8/19/2008 6:14:30 AM

forgot to mention: if they think ur easy, if u were so easy u would of been gotten off that computer to go meet them. obviously, ur not easy if u didnt move from that computer and ur not the type of person who wants a piece of ass! so, thats not an easy person. those men got their definitions of an "easy woman" wrong!
Some men feel they are so desirable that a woman would drop everything just to meet him. NOT... especially if he starts talkin about wanting to do xyz . .. major turn off ! and totally disrespectful.
 Seas_the_Day
Joined: 7/20/2008
Msg: 224
why do men get so bent out of shape when a woman says no thanks?
Posted: 8/19/2008 6:22:16 AM

I just read what you wrote about men and I agree 100%. It seems most of them are just looking for sex......that they think because a woman has her profile posted, she is looking JUST for sex. What a bunch of BS! And yes, I agree...why do they have to start talking about sex right from the beginning. This is no way to get to know someone if you are serious.
Because some men on this site are horny and desperate and looking for cheap women.. occasionally a man will come along that is respectful and genuine, we just have to weed out the jerks !
 celts123
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 226
why do men get so bent out of shape when a woman says no thanks?
Posted: 8/19/2008 8:55:42 AM
All the men that complain about "no response" need to read and re-read the posts form women about the rude and angry e-mails they get when they do say "Thanks, but no thanks".


All a woman needs to do to avoid getting any angry responses is either ignore or block a man AFTER she has rejected him. I also think that some women might get angry responses because they rejected a man in a rude or tactless way. In other words, it's not always the rejection iteself. It's the way a woman rejected a man. BTW some women can be very rude after being rejected as well. The only difference is that men get rejected more often because men are more likely to make initial contact than women are.
 miraclgal
Joined: 6/22/2007
Msg: 227
why do men get so bent out of shape when a woman says no thanks?
Posted: 9/18/2008 4:36:48 PM
I try to reply to everyone but have since stopped. The last few men who for various reasons were not a match, chose to use nasty names towards me. Then after the nasty email they will block me. So saying no thank you, we are not a match,I will just NOT respond and save myself from some nastiness.
 BlueEyes1712
Joined: 4/24/2008
Msg: 231
view profile
History
why do men get so bent out of shape when a woman says no thanks?
Posted: 9/19/2008 5:14:04 AM
Men and boys have a role in social society that exposes them to rejection much more so than women. Men traditionally are expected to do the first step of initial contact or asking someone out, therefore leaving them exposed to acceptance or rejcction. I would say the odds are at best 50/50 in real life situations. Online the odds are stacked against you because its much easier for a women to reject you or just not correspond to an email if your written profile or photo doesnt meet thier criteria. Remember in todays busy world most people dont really have the time with thier busy schedules and careers to put much time in a new relationships, sadly thats the facts. My advice is to place your bets more carefully, realize the odds online are like slot machines, a small payoff for a lot of play. Real life enviorments allow more realistic approaches because women can give you a signal you if they show an intrest leaving you less vulnurable to risk and rejection and more chance of acceptance. Remember know the odds and if your secure with rejection online can be a place where you may find the right women in time. If you are less secure with rejection take a more targeted approach and review profiles for common intrests and remember this is a virtual experience and lots of what people write profiles to entice others, they might not be what they say in real life., hence caviet emptor, let the buyer beware.. Lastly I would forget about talking about sex, if your fortunate enough to find someone online or offline, sex is a natural progression that will evolve if its meant to happen between two concenting adults.
 msupial
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 232
why do men get so bent out of shape when a woman says no thanks?
Posted: 9/19/2008 8:59:51 AM
hey.. just wanted to say, don't eat too much over the holidays
u dont want to go from bbw, to bbbbbw, if u know what i mean!
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 235
why do men get so bent out of shape when a woman says no thanks?
Posted: 10/17/2008 4:31:54 AM
Men and boys have a role in social society that exposes them to rejection much more so than women.

Then, IMO they should be experts: meaning - better prepared for it, used to it and should be able to handle it better.

P.S. It's not really "rejection" if it's coming from someone you don't know. It's simply a mismatch of interest, and it's not personal. Letting your ego in the way won't make it any easier to deal with.

If I contact/approach a guy and he's not interested, I move on; it's not about me. What's the big deal?
 celts123
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 239
why do men get so bent out of shape when a woman says no thanks?
Posted: 10/17/2008 1:35:20 PM
I'm not defending the men who say rude things when a woman rejects them. But I'm explaining why I think it happens. A man sees a woman's profile. They clearly have some common interests. He clearly matches many of the things she is looking for. This woman is around his "level" in terms of looks, education, income, social status. He emails her and points out their common interests and traits. Then he is rejected. Multiply this scenario by 20, 50, 100, or 200 times. Some men eventually get frustrated.

If a woman does receive a lot of rude emails after rejecting a man, then perhaps in some instances it was the way she rejected the man instead of the actual rejection itself. Maybe she said something that was tactless or flat out rude. Also there are some women who get angry after a man has rejected them. I have called a jerk, shallow, a$$hole etc. These things don't bother me because what some random woman on the internet thinks about me is irrevelant.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 247
why do men get so bent out of shape when a woman says no thanks?
Posted: 10/20/2008 4:38:24 AM
^^^Eh, for me "no thanks" is plenty. It's clear, direct and to the point. Why doesn't matter...I'll respond, but I don't hold people's hands. If "no thanks" isn't something you want to hear, then don't ask.

These days the bottom line is... If you cannot handle striking out you shouldn't even try to swing until you handle your insecurities. They'll only end up being a drag on a relationship you do form.

Exactly, if you want to date but can't handle rejection, then something has to give - you can't have it both ways. Either learn how to deal with the fact that some won't like you back, or give up dating altogether.
 illmatic_one
Joined: 5/23/2011
Msg: 249
view profile
History
why do men get so bent out of shape when a woman says no thanks?
Posted: 6/26/2011 3:18:52 PM
I'm going to agree with Celts on this one.... Now I don't think anyone should be rude to someone just because they are rejected, however... I understand why it can be frustrating for some men. 95% of the women's profiles on dating sites including this one, say "looking for a good man, a good heart, someone to make me laugh, my knight, mr.perfect, blah blah blah..... And even though almost every woman claims not to be, most are superficial to some extent. So now the truly good or nice guy sends a woman a message and he's pretty much on par with her and actually has some intelligence, but since he's maybe and inch or two shorter(next), or a few years older(next), doesn't have as much education(next), or even the wrong skin color(which I know happens to me personally sometimes(next), from what her so-called "preferences" are, she never even makes it to the profile paragraph, until she happens upon Johnny Handsome, who she'll respond to with a quickness sans the profile even, and then find out he's an a-hole after she's wasted time and gone out with him. Meanwhile, all those truly nice guys she passed up, and probably might have liked if she could see past that one little issue of hers, are left wondering whats wrong with them... So yeah multiply that by dozens, and its not hard to see why even the nicest guys, sometimes get a bit frustrated.. Again, not defending rudeness, but it is what it is.....
 mateo45
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 251
view profile
History
why do men get so bent out of shape when a woman says no thanks?
Posted: 6/26/2011 7:56:28 PM
It seems to happen to both sexes. I'm always surprised at how often gals can't seem to take a courteous "sorry, we're not a good fit, but best of luck in your search", without responding with some sort of snotty "flame". So maybe that saying's true about "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"!
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 252
why do men get so bent out of shape when a woman says no thanks?
Posted: 6/26/2011 9:39:17 PM
meh, saw this state over on a job board, and I am betting it transfers over directly
your resume - if it gets past key word filters gets 15 to 30 seconds of scrutiny
your note - if it gets past key stats of profile check - probably gets about the same.
at some point you will realize that it is worthless to send notes at all.
(and like the resume - even if you tailor your reply to her ad - it means nothing at all)

Your answer here, as it is there..... get a language, and opt out of the American Market.
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 253
why do men get so bent out of shape when a woman says no thanks?
Posted: 6/26/2011 10:32:30 PM
I don't have a problem being turned down in fact I was turned down yesterday with that same message from another female. It's all in how the dudes you're talking to are taking it. Rejection happens suck it up.
 That_girl*
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 254
why do men get so bent out of shape when a woman says no thanks?
Posted: 6/27/2011 12:31:15 PM
have been through this many times..

1 minute its all sweet an sexy of your cute your attractive i would really like to get to know you, why arent you taken..an in some cases the more trashy sexual messages of men "wanting to try it out" an can you help me out i have this fantasy b ull s hit..

an what is with trying a woman out crap didnt know it was that simple an smooth like trying on shoes as if im suppose to be like sure ok here ya take my body an soul to do with what ya want an dump me back where you found me..

anyhow then 5mintues later when you tell them naw no thanks or sorry dont think we would be a match an we are not wanting the samethings or the no i dont want to have sex with you while the wife/girlfriend is away..

then some of them have turned ugly an in some cases hostile an then i start getting called every name in the book of this is why women this an that an your a b itch ect ect ect no wonder your this an that an well ya know how it goes from there

BUT

i love how they end it with well your loss or you dont know what your missing

i just follow up an say lol cant lose something you dont want...
 Captain_Random
Joined: 8/19/2010
Msg: 255
view profile
History
why do men get so bent out of shape when a woman says no thanks?
Posted: 6/28/2011 5:26:55 AM
Romantic rejection is pretty much the harshest form of rejection out there. Maybe with the exception of being rejected by your family. People need relationships, they want to be accepted by their peers. Love is the meaning of life.

I know people will downplay it and say that it's not really rejection at this stage, but it absolutely is. And usually the rejection is for superficial reasons such as not being attractive enough. That's really a worse rejection than going on a date and finding there's no chemistry. At least then, you're given a chance to put your personality on display. The rejection to introductory emails is much more harsh, and people rightly get upset about it. You're saying "I don't care about you. I don't care what kind of personality you have. In this world of checkbox dating, you don't fill the boxes that I'm looking for."

Of course, those great marriages that last 40, 50 years and stand the test of time, the woman always says that she almost didn't give him a chance. She had no initial attraction for him. She went out on a limb and gave him a chance, against her better judgment. And here they are, happily married after 50 years.
 Pinayto
Joined: 2/5/2011
Msg: 257
why do men get so bent out of shape when a woman says no thanks?
Posted: 8/5/2011 6:47:46 AM
To OT: lol. I get those types too, I was just like, WTF and laugh at the loser. And if I'm in 'the mood' i tell them off, but alas I was blocked. I LOL harder.
 richardcormier
Joined: 7/19/2011
Msg: 259
why do men get so bent out of shape when a woman says no thanks?
Posted: 8/5/2011 10:36:01 AM
MSG7: What a wonderful reply. I am glad to be on this site with you, and I hope more men and women can share your mindset. Good Luck
Rich
 AlreadyTakenBootboy
Joined: 11/5/2009
Msg: 260
why do men get so bent out of shape when a woman says no thanks?
Posted: 8/5/2011 3:44:42 PM
I've never started a convo like that....and well.... those men are just... well.... not cool.
 AAP1978
Joined: 4/22/2012
Msg: 261
why do men get so bent out of shape when a woman says no thanks?
Posted: 5/18/2012 7:51:32 PM
I have no issue with them saying no thanks its common curtisy plus you can't force anything. Now the one who don't respond back I have an issue with, yes I'm sure women probably get a lot of awful emails from idiots it's understandable. However when all you ask is would you care to talk and no response come on we are all adults a simple no thanks is common curtisy. You treat people how you want to be treated so if you crap on others you deserve to get crapped on example idiots sending you emails for sex apparently they think this is Craigslist. Also if your so much better then everybody else and you can get anyone you want why are you on POF hmmmm????
 That_girl*
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 263
why do men get so bent out of shape when a woman says no thanks?
Posted: 5/18/2012 9:40:37 PM
@domo31 theres nothing wrong with telling a guy no thanks or not intrested its just when they either send a brainless 1liner email saying nice tits or wanna fuk or wanna see my c ock.an you come back an say naw no thanks an those are the ones who reply back saying rude s hit..

could this be the reason why some are not getting laid or a girl..hmmm no game no conversation when it comes to communicating with women an having the appearance of a serial killer/homeless person..= the only hand they will feel on their d ick is their own..
 Gertrude13
Joined: 5/14/2012
Msg: 264
why do men get so bent out of shape when a woman says no thanks?
Posted: 5/18/2012 11:09:23 PM
You just can't win. Women get lots of messages. Mainly because male POFers seem often to take a "machine-gun" approach, spraying emails indiscriminately. So I don't feel too bad simply deleting - Especially messages that are cut-and-paste. One-word messages aren't the ideal, but the cut-and pastes are annoying. If you're gonna put the same thing on every overture, why not just add it to your profile? Sigh...

I used to answer every single email. It was exhausting, and it's really frustrating when some guy who would never dream of hitting on you in a bar gets all indignant when you send a polite, "Thanks so much for your kind message! I see that you are a Satanist, so I don't think we would be a match, but best of luck in your search"

It really doesn't happen all that often, though. I've had more men send me a message thanking me for being polite and honest than rude ones.

It's all good, though. Anyone who throws a fit after a polite rejection is not likely someone you'd like to meet in real life, so aren't you grateful for the relative anonymity of the Web?
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