|megawoodPage 10 of 30 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30)|
|Alrighty, defense mode first. Megawood is a play off of my last name, it sounds almost identical. And I figure that most of the people that I want to talk to anyways would assume that its a joke of some sorts...even if it's not funny As for spelling mistakes, I would be forever grateful if you could point them out. I'm usually a meticulous speller myself.|
Now if I may be so bold as to offer some criticisms/questions about your profile. Are you dabbling with bi-sexuality? Your basics show that you are looking for males. But in your dislikes you have put 'boys' (I suppose it could refer to maturity levels). And you also have a note for the ladies saying that you are looking for a night out on the town with an intimate encounter. Followed up with a note for the boys saying 'don't worry its not permanent.' So I guess I'm just wondering if you're feeling out the gay scene or if there is something there that I have overlooked or misunderstood?
In regards to your 'profile review' of myself, I found that there was very little substance to your review. I think you were ready to attack anything in my profile as soon as you read (and misinterpreted) my name. IT'S A PUN!!! Not an attempt to woo women with my phallically (spell check) impressive profile name.
Your profile says that you are 'smart, sexy, funny, sarcastic, assertive, honest.' Your review only seemed to utilize your sarcastic and assertive side. It didn't seem to be backed up by any 'smart'ness (probably not a word). I definitely didn't find it that funny. But I suppose it was probably honest from your perspective. And regarding that 'perspective', perhaps you should take some holidays from your Image Consulting job and regain a fresh perspective that will be a little less jaded. Try not to overwork yourself, you're better than that. I look forward to reading more of your reviews
|It's time: Brutally Honest Profile Reviews by Kikilynn... as promised|
Posted: 1/16/2006 12:58:12 PM
|Thanks for the tips Petunia...I'll see if I can put them to good use...I read your profile and found it hilarious...although it started out sounding really weird like there was some drug-inducted happiness involved...but it evolved into a very entertaining and enjoyable profile...i'll keep an eye out for you on here as i'd love to do some more sparring with ya sometime...even though i'll probably end up on the ass end of it|
have you thought of starting your own thread...do some profile reviews of your own...i think you're ready for journeyman status
p.s.- I'm not too worried about my grammar on the internet...but i'll try to keep up with the spelling lol
Posted: 1/16/2006 1:45:43 PM
|Since we're picking apart eachother's profiles:|
I'm a really laid back person and it takes a lot to get under my skin
I would have to disagree.
Furthermore, I'm going to have to assume that you also don't follow direction. (Read the rules in Msg 1.) It clearly states that you should not make come backs because you're not happy with your review, and you should not review my profile. You knew what you were getting into here.
Now, as far as the style I chose to write your review, and yes it did take effort on my part, because I don't write or speak like that, I did it because you have 'cause', 'ain't', you had (if I remember correctly) 'u's and possibly even 'i's. Read other reviews. I can't stand that kind of garbage writing. You're here to try to attract someone. You have two main components in a profile which are likely to do that: your picture(s) and your writing ability. As far as I'm concerned using "computer lingo" within your profile is unacceptable if you're trying to appear intelligent to the opposite sex.
Get it? Got it? Good!
(And I don't expect any further rebuttals from you.)
Oh, and yes for your information I am bi curious. It's a phase.
Posted: 1/17/2006 1:45:35 PM
|after that scathing rebuttal i guess i'll just take my leave...thanx for the memories sugartats |
Posted: 1/19/2006 6:48:53 PM
|Dear chuckgilla, |
Welcome to the Fugly list. (Come on, you knew I was going to say that, didn't you??)
Your unattractive qualities are as follows:
*You don't have a job
*You have baggage
*You're poorly educated (or at least it would seem that way based on your inability to form logical, grammatically correct sentences)
*You're a scatter brain
All that said, I think you created this profile just to get a rise out of me, since your headline is "Please comment on profile.A Few wrote." Too obvious. Please do not continue to waste your time trying to insult my intelligence.
Also, you could have at least thought up a better name. I'm not sure if you're trying to demonstrate a parallel between yourself and fish, or a gorilla.
And, for heaven's sake, get your fat, lazy ass on a f*ckin treadmill old man, before your cigarettes give you a heart attack!
|U want fries wid dat?|
Posted: 1/19/2006 6:56:39 PM
You're inanimate pictures are retarded. Put up a picture of yourself, and lose the internet downloads.
The profession space is not there for you to write a novel. Please don't use it this way.
You have too much baggage.
Try to trim your interests down to a maximum of 12.
You're obviously not here for dating, because you haven't descibed yourself or what you're looking for at all.
That's okay, cause you probably wouldn't find anyone anyway.
Posted: 1/19/2006 7:08:53 PM
|The picture of you in the wife beater isn't doing you justice, and a picture of your car is tasteless and useless.|
I am a 28 male from Farmington MO. My likes are cars, music, film, games
No need for repetition. I'm not a moron. And hopefully the person you attract isn't either... unless that's what you're going for? In which case, try to raise the bar a little, eh?!
Develop does not have an 'e' at the end of it. (Because then it would be pronounced dee-vel-oh-p, and that would sound silly.)
Also, your kids get attached too (emphasis on the second 'o') easily (emphasis on 'il').
A lot is not allot. Unless you are allotting portions. Then it's allot.
Well, you got one thing correct right of the bat, your profile is simple!
Posted: 1/19/2006 7:17:46 PM
|Spelling issues: aslo (also), entrepreuner (entrepreneur)|
Grammar issues: intend on (intend to)
And you should know that I don't hand down compliments often.
Posted: 1/19/2006 7:46:10 PM
|I'd love to know what that **** was... ****? Ya. Well... what are you gonna do?|
So, lets give it to ya!
Welcome to the Fugly list.
gentleman seeks attractive lady
This isn't a personals ad from the last page of the local newspaper. You can be a bit more creative than that!
I would say, don't use your About me as a space to brag. Write something intriguing and use all of your amazing "life" stuff to entrance your date.
Also, given that you have 4 degrees and you're only 36, there's no excuse for your misuse of grammar. You should know that after sentence delineating types of punctuation (colons, semi-colons, periods, commas) there is always a space!!!
I'll kiss her on both cheeks and hand,wash her hair, scrub her back,dry her gently with a soft towel,bring her flowers, take her to the opera, buy her dinner and champagne, bring her Cadbury chocolate, buff her fingernails, style her hair, paint her toenails, whisper sweet somethings in her ear,kiss the floor that she walks on, do the dishes,do the wash, do the cleaning, vacuum,dust,do the shopping, walk the dog,change the sheets, clean the toilet bowl
Just a quick question, you sure you're not gay???
Overall, I'll recommend that you rewrite your profile, and just be honest!!!!!!!
Posted: 1/19/2006 8:00:11 PM
|Ed, you're not fine. Not at all. You need help. Possibly more help than I can offer, but I will give it my best shot.|
Ed, what you need to do, is get yourself together. Your about me is irrelevant givent the picture you've posted, and the way that you obviously keep yourself.
No one wants to date a slob.
First things first, quit smoking, so that you don't smell as bad.
Then Ed, as you start to regain the ability to breathe, start going for long walks. Every day! Don't skimp out here, Ed. This is life or death, man. One hour. Start slow, take your time, as you get faster, increase your route.
When you've got the smoking and weight issues out of the way, consider contacts and grooming. But really, those will just be icing on the cake. And when you feel good, naturally you'll want to look great too.
Good luck. And don't expect results overnight... stay motivated!
Posted: 1/19/2006 8:10:57 PM
|Seriously get rid of the middle picture. (Not that any of your pictures are great, but that one's like working against you.)|
Oh g-a-w-d! The rest is just awful.
You don't use apostrophes when you should, you write in 'txt', you don't always capitalize 'I', you plan on losing your manners (or so it would seem since you said you haven't lost them "yet")...
Need I go on?
I don't think so. Use your noggin and put together something a bit more thought out.
Posted: 1/19/2006 8:15:06 PM
|Your headline is lame-o.|
You smoke and smell like a stinky piece of shit (that's been used to butt cigaretts.)
You picture is nothing less than terrifying.
You don't have a job.
And you demonstrate baggage.
Posted: 1/19/2006 8:20:04 PM
|User closed account Jan 18 2006 7:06PM |
Spoken in the voice of Apu Nahasapeemapetilon (Kwik-E-Mart, Simpsons):
"Thank you, please come again!"
Posted: 1/19/2006 8:51:33 PM
|You spelled watching and leisurely wrong.|
And your pictures are truly revolting.
Posted: 1/19/2006 9:25:10 PM
You have got to work on your pictures! They're awful.
Limit the interest list to 12 items.
The rest is okay. Not really original... sounds "old".
But its fine.
Posted: 1/22/2006 10:02:37 PM
|First things first, I'm more familiar with your nostrils that I'd ever like to admit. Now get rid of some of your headshots, and start integrating some diversity into your shots.|
Your headline makes no sense at all... are you really saying that 45% is imaginary? That would be half of 90%...
Because we asked, that's y.
Your interests... aren't interesting.
You abuse your use of commas and semi-colons.
You have no first date.
As for the contents of your about me... Do you think anyone really cares to read all this hodge podge lovey dovey garbage? If you do, leave it. But I'm telling you, I sure as hell don't.
Posted: 1/22/2006 10:11:58 PM
|Did you forget to look 'secret' up in the dictionary?|
Your headline is extra firm tofu. Very boring.
You need to have a picture of just you as your main photo.
You should quit smoking... yesterday!
To have an impact with your profile, you need to lure the reader in with irresistable facts about you. Then follow up with what you're looking for.
Don't demonstrate baggage.
Posted: 1/22/2006 10:16:01 PM
|Your #1 goal: Quit smoking.|
Authoritative I believe is the word you're after.
You say you're looking for Long Term, but the way you've written your profile makes it sound like you're after an Intimate Encounter.
Try to smooth things out and decide what it is that you're after.
Posted: 1/22/2006 10:19:34 PM
|Step away from the webcam/camera phone. |
Try to get yourself a digital camera... check out ebay.com for great deals.
Never post pictures of yourself in the mirror taking pictures of yourself in the mirror. Redundant isn't it?
Otherwise your profile sounds quite nice.
So, main issue: Pictures.
Deal with it, pronto.
Posted: 1/22/2006 10:23:13 PM
I LOVE YOU!
Those are strong words, and you should throw em around like that! You could hurt someone with those things!
You need more pictures, and it would be better if your main picture wasn't one of you with a chick...
Your about me is a bit rough around the edges. It just doesn't have a great flow. So try to organize your thoughts and rewrite it. Provide us with some more info about you...
Posted: 1/22/2006 10:26:33 PM
|You name is kinda lame...|
Your pictures are very monotone.
Your current main image isn't the best choise.
There are a couple of photos which I describe as "deer caught in the headlights"ish. Delete those right away.
Otherwise, it sounds okay.
Maybe try to just be a bit more original.
30 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30)