|MaxDuoPage 12 of 30 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30)|
Hrm. How do my pictures stink? Because they aren't up close?
*No head shot
*Back ground sucks
*You're dressesd like a bum
Does that help?
Posted: 1/27/2006 8:32:52 PM
|I take it you're not here for a review?|
Good I don't have time for you.
Posted: 1/30/2006 3:11:03 PM
Thank you to everyone who has posted here, and to all of my diligent fans. This has been fun to do over the last couple of months.
However, I'm currently engaged intensely in my studies, and I just can't keep up with all of the reviews anymore. I will finish up anyone who has posted but hasn't been reviewed as I find time.
To anyone who's looking for a bratal review, check out my buddy Steamcatcher's thread... something about "In case Veedub wasn't clear..." Or hell, go start your own, intelligent, witty, insulting, politically incorrect thread. I'm sure it will be a hit!
Good luck to all with your fishing endeavours!
|It's time: Brutally Honest Profile Reviews by Kikilynn... as promised|
Posted: 12/18/2006 6:02:10 AM
|In light of the holiday season, I'm feeling in the festive spirit to give away profile reviews again.|
This offer is for a limited time only!
I'll remind of the rules for this thread which appear on post #1...
"Don't expect me to be nice. Don't review my profile. Don't come back at me with negative responses after I review you. Don't tell me I'm a b*tch. I already know that I am; that's why I'm starting this thread."
Do not post here if you're not looking for brutal honesty.
Posted: 12/18/2006 8:47:54 PM
|Lets take it from the top billy boy.|
1. Come word play with me? Okay... well seems a bit lame, not too catchy... I'm sure you can come up with something else. My general suggestion for chosing a headline is to find a catch phrase from a song, movie or quote which captures you (like taking a picture, with words). It should also "capture" your prospective reader's attention.
2. Now, can we talk about your interests???
That list is far too long. I can't even find your "About me" amongst all that - okay, I'll seriously refrain from saying crap - stuff. Lets trim it back to say... 12 or 15. NO MORE! Lets be honest, your interests can be something we discuss later, I want the meat and potatoes now!
3. If you feel you must have the disclaimer, can we put it at the end or something. I personally don't think its necessary to have it there... I mean, is your inbox really being littered with dozens of e-mails that you are rejecting because of absentee photos? Didn't think so.
4. The other thing is, all those damn dashed lines are distracting. I can't even read the good stuff because my eyes are being drawn up to the painful assault of the dashed lines. Lets ditch them.
5. I must admit that I admire your ability to spell and used grammar appropriately except for this one small thing:
I love gourmet food and fine wines, and I am a masterful chef who can prepare a fine meal (well, you can be the judge of that)...Challenge me!
After an ellipse (the dot-dot-dot) you need a space, and NO CAPITAL. This is not the begining of a new sentence, its the delayed continuation of the original thought.
6. There's a wording issue in this sentence:
I enjoy my vocation and usually seem more like play than work.-when it's not-I'll go take a break and do something else.
And I don't know what's up with the period then dashes (with no spaces around them I might add - faux pas!).
7. And look at this:
<u>Music </u>I have many interests.
How about we don't underline the space between "music" and "I" since none of the like headings have underlined spaces after them.
8. Let's do some work here:
Also, not draw a blank stare when asked what the last book you read was. I realize this weeds out the masses, but hey, that's the intention
How about "Another thing, I need you to not draw a blank..." The problem is "not draw a blank stare" should be a clause in this sentence, but it cannot stand alone the way you've phrased it.
While I do need on occasion to be serious and professional, make no mistake. I am a major goofball.
More wording problems. If you really need help, let me know, but I think you're an intelligent guy, you can work something out.
10. Last thing: Its too long. Sorry, but the thing is, I had to take breaks just to get through it! I mean, someone who's just checking you out wants a quick read with just enough info, but not enough that there's no point dating you because they already know every damn detail of your life.
11. And is this
12. After all of that, no First Date?!?! I'm sorry, are you here for dating??? Cause the "I'm seeking a Woman for Dating" would indicate that you ARE. Hum, you're capable of practically writing a novel to describe yourself and what you're looking for, but no first date....
The take home message here, Bill, is that your writing is good, I just honestly don't need that much of it here.
Posted: 12/18/2006 9:39:39 PM
|I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but is that picture recent!?|
I mean, look out! The seventies are calling and they want their hair and glasses back! You might be an old man, but if you want to hop back onto the dating scene, its time for a style update.
Wow, you're about as captivating as they come!
I see two reasons for your divorced status: fishing and golf. These same two things are have destroyed your potential on this dating site unless you change your profile immediately.
Let's not make your name "FISHGOLF". I don't want to see any name capitalized either.
And then, your headline won't need to be "THINGS I LOVE TO DO" either...
See the review of billbutler8 for tips on selecting a headline.
FYI "coupla" is not a word in the english language. You should write "couple of".
The "& other insignificant bullshit" seems a little... bitter? Out of place? Is it just me here? I don't know, I'd tone down the language, you're not familiar with the comfort level of your audience.
Anyway, I have a felling that you probably don't care what anyone else thinks about your language or your interests, and I doubt that you're going to take well to this review.
But best of luck finding a woman who's okay with constant fishing, golf and the trailer park vocabulary.
Posted: 12/20/2006 8:45:00 AM
|Well hello. Lets get going.|
Your name and headline are a bit blah. I know its your thing, but its just not captivating. I'm sure you can find some kind of catchy catch phrase from Dancing with the Stars or something! Lets spruce it up.
The next thing I'm going to discuss with you is body type. You've been honest here, and that's admirable. I'm telling you something that's very personal to me. Two years ago, I was 50 pounds heavier, twelve sizes larger, I had high blood pressure, high cholesterol and I was making excuses about my weight. "I'm big boned, I can carry it..." I'm sure you get the point. I think your new dancing hobby is a healthy one, but I just hope that you're on the right track to a healthy lifestyle all together. A smaller waist is easier on your organs, it will contribute to your longevity and let me tell you, it makes finding people to date much easier!
Onto your about me... do people really think you're hispanic because of your name? That certainly wasn't the first thing which popped into my head!
Your entire profile sounds chatty, which really doesn't appeal to me at all.
Now I'm sure some of you are thinking, "Oh great, dance is really important to this chick and I can't dance at all...she'll never give me a chance!" Simply not true. You don't have to already be a good dancer for me to agree to go out with you, and you don't even have to be willing to learn. All that I ask is that you understand how important dance is to me and let me do it with or without you--although if you do dance or want to learn, that will score you major, major brownie points in my book!
Can we just can this whole paragraph?? Because I'm sure guys reading your profile are not thinking, "Oh great, dance is really important to this chick and I can't dance at all...she'll never give me a chance!" You're assuming they're thinking that, and it just reflects poorly on you. Note that the word assume breaks down to ass, u, me... assuming makes an ass of you and me (but mostly you). So just don't do it.
Then comes the LA paragraph and the animal paragraph... ugh... boring. I mean, its cool you got to work the red carpet, but that doesn't go in your profile. You tell them everything now, what the hell are you going to talk about on the date?
And then your about me ends with you taking allergy medicine. Don't tell people you don't know about your allergy medicine. Just don't. Carry the Benadryl with you and take it when you get to his place (if you get to his place, which I have a feeling you won't, unless of couse he's just using you as an in, which he probably isn't.)
You should scrap the whole thing and start again, in my professional opinion. A quick about me, here are the things I'm into, here's what I'm looking for... that's it. No more assuming, okay?
Posted: 12/20/2006 9:46:02 AM
|Right off the bat, my first impression is to assume that you're probably mister wrong, but let's look at your profile.|
I'd like to welcome you to the fugly list. The fugly list was created for those who don't post pictures on their profiles. By neglecting to post a picture on your profile, and then asking for a review, I have the right to assume that you're f*cking ugly, and hence fugly.
You've turned your profile into some kind of lame comic routine I see, which is entirely stupid and probably one of the reasons you're still single. You obviously aren't a sasquatch researcher, so get rid of that right away. You're not the first one to crack bad jokes in your profile, but that doesn't mean they should stay.
Look at your interests, if its not blue and underlined, remove it. To keep the interest box appealing to the eye, keep your interests in multiples of three, with a maximum of 12 or 15.
This third person buisness annoys me. Don't do it. It also makes your profile entirely too long. And you're so busy trying to write in the third person that you neglect to use proper grammar.
Mister Right think he is hilarious...
You mean 'thinks'.
Don't use acronyms and assume we know what they mean (ie. STFU). We don't.
Oh, and look! You appear on 0 people's favorite's lists. The profile needs work.
Posted: 12/20/2006 10:43:46 AM
|Alright, lets get this straight. If you are asking me for a review consider these rules very carefully.|
Rule #1 - Don't expect me to be nice.
Rule #2 - Don't review my profile.
Rule #3 - Don't come back at me with negative responses after I review you.
Rule #4 - Don't tell me I'm a b*tch.
Rule #5 - If you can't take the heat, get the hell out of my thread.
Posted: 12/20/2006 1:23:39 PM
|Oh please so me... I'll so you alright... I'll tear you a new a**hole and then sew it nicely.|
Now... is your headline really supposed to make me believe that you're a nice guy????? HA!
You don't need five pictures in which you're wearing the same shirt and tie! Either you need more clothes, or you need new pictures. As far as the goalie picture... you're standing there with your stomach sticking out. How about an action shot?
How about you quit doing drugs!
"I'm a straight white male...and I'm just looking for a little bit of ****, you know."
You'll need to fix up the stars... and nope, you've lost me. So I didn't get your superb joke.
Your about me is short, but still a boring read. Turn it into paragraphs to break it up a little. And for God's sake, write something more interesting than "I've been through a 5 year relationship and I know what I'm looking for".
Posted: 12/20/2006 1:59:07 PM
|Let's see if you really are my dream boat. |
Things are looking grim since I hate pancakes. How about something a bit more catchy in the headline... I mean you don't want to lose interest that quickly, do you?
Now, the pictures. You've gotta ditch the webcam. Um kay? Check out e-bay for great deals on digital cameras.
Interests: lots of things. Well... like what. That tells me f*ck all about your interests!
I'm looking for a girl to treat me like I don't matter.
Someone have self-esteem issues?
I did laugh through your entire "About me" however, I failed to take you seriously. If you want to actually find a woman, you might save the sarcasm for later...
You get originality points in the first date section, but somehow I don't think I can envision myself taking my first ride in a cruiser while I'm on a first date. And I'm not even going there with the porn magazines.
Posted: 12/20/2006 2:10:11 PM
|I'm not too sure what's going on with your profile. A jar of durt certainly isn't going to get my mojo flowing.|
'n' is not an acceptable substitute for the word 'and'!
Otherwise your profile is pretty good. I wouldn't mind seeing more diversity in your pictures instead of you sitting in various chairs... but not bad.
Posted: 12/20/2006 2:28:12 PM
|Sun shines on closed doors all the time... if your door is facing in an eastward direction, you can expect it to be shone on in the morning, if your door is facing in a westward direction, you can expect it to be shone on in the afternoon. What I'm saying is that your headline is meaningless. Get a new one.|
I'm not going to lie to you, you wouldn't be on the single boat if you just hadn't gotten divorced in the first place, but now that we're here, on with the review.
I'm hoping that your interest in exercise outweighs your interest in tv, since you can stand to lose those few extra pounds.
Do not repeat in your about me anything which is in the general info. That means you can get rid of
I'm 31, 6'1", brown hair, brown eyes, drug and disease free, don't smoke, rarely drink, and have no kids.
You paint a pretty big nice guy picture, but when it comes down to it, it gets pretty repetitive and boring to read. Let a girl discover that and judge for herself.
Posted: 12/20/2006 2:34:33 PM
|You want to know what your problem is?|
You have a funny looking bike. Ha ha! Just joking.
You're too old for me... yes, that's your problem!
Okay, enough of the funny stuff, your problems are:
Problem #1 - You have no profession.
Problem #2 - You have grammar issues. After any puctuation, you need a space. (Note: I put a space after my comma, a space after my period, a space after my colon. Get the point?)
Problem #3 - There's a dancing banana and other gifs within your about me.
Honestly, its pretty good. You could maybe get a few more pictures, but if those are the best you've got that's okay. Quality over quantity always.
Posted: 12/20/2006 2:45:13 PM
|Okay, get a profession.|
Where's Random Place?
Profile is chatty.
Which of the following doesn't belong in this list: geek, jock, dork, weirdo. (If you chose jock... you'd be right.) All of the others are redundant and unecessary. Choose ONE.
Can we condense some of your about me? I'm a weird jock who's intelligent, down to earth, goal oriented and ambitious. This isn't grade one. We don't write like this anymore:
I'm a jock.
I'm down to earth.
I'm goal oriented.
We have learned the power of the comma, right?!
Okay, anyway... good luck.
Posted: 12/20/2006 3:39:07 PM
|Looking for a review. be critical, i can take it|
Posted: 12/20/2006 6:37:00 PM
|Riley... I just don't know what to tell you!|
Your profile is great, it includes some humor. You're well established in the forums. You have a million friends who have all written lovely testimonials for you. You have a successful review thread with a fabulous twist - reccomendations for Santa! I love it! I love you! You're wonderful. Just maybe a little too nice, if that's possible.
Merry Christmas, Riley. Stay safe, and have a wonderful holiday with your family!
Posted: 12/20/2006 7:06:30 PM
|#1 - QUIT SMOKING|
#2 - Can't your list of interests go in the Interests box???
#3 - Sarcasm city: is it really necessary? Great way to find yourself a date, I'm sure!
#4 - Lets keep our language PG-13.
#5 - How'd I possibly forget to welcome you to the fugly list???
#6 - Lets combine the old and new profiles so we're not talking about things twice.
#7 - Get rid of the dancing banana, punk rocker, beer, etc...
Why do people forget that this is like a job application. You want the receiver to get a positive impression of you and an appreciation of your talents and abilities. Talking sh*t shouldn't be one of them!
Posted: 12/20/2006 7:19:25 PM
|Well, I'll be damned!!!|
You profile is near perfect. Your writing paints a picture to appeal to the senses.
A very few small changes that I'd reccomend.
*Capitalize the second 'nice' in your name, to maintain consistency since all of the other words are capitalized.
*Unnecessary repetition annoys me; "I want to meet a woman who is well balanced, affectionate & intelligent, and did I say affectionate?" Yes you did say affectionate. Just once, for God's sake, please!
*Unnecessary repetition annoys me; "I’m a confident man with a good attitude, a great smile and very nice eyes I might add LOL." You'd already mentioned that you're confident in the first sentence of this paragraph. Just start this sentence with 'I have a good attitude...'
*"What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul? - Take the quotation mark off at the begining of this sentence, or add it to the end. If you choose to add it to the end, add quotation marks around the first quote as well.
*I like the black and white photo best. Its nice and clear. I'd make it the main image.
Posted: 12/20/2006 7:56:45 PM
|Right off the bat you've got baggage. "Moving on, slowly" That's going to have to change. You've got baggage? Get rid of it! Don't consider dating until you're ready. When you are ready, you take nothing more than a thin brief case with you? Right now, I think you've checked two overweight bags, you have a carry on and a personal item. WAY too much! See my comments to others about how to write a good, captivating headline.|
I don't think that 'randomness' is truely an interest, and why does talking have to be in all caps???
In your first sentence to is spelled too which is wrong, and in fact, "I don't know what to say" is totally unnecessary since you end up saying stuff, therefore you obviously do know what to say!
You're probably not 'a confident' though you might be confident.
Your profile has no sense of organization which makes you seem like a scatter-brain.
Again you talk about your break up. You need to put that shit away. Work it out. Down size, whatever. Just do it.
So, work on spelling, grammar and organization to clean up your profile. And ditch the baggage.
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