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|Um, lets take it from the top.|
The x's in your name are a reflection of your level of maturity.
Your headline is unoriginal - you and everyone else!
Your picture isn't all that great. Its grainy, you're on the phone, and you're not even smiling.
Apparently your grade 1 teacher neglected to teach you that the personal pronoun 'i' is capitalized.
Your ability to form complete sentences receives a failing grade.
Your spelling leaves something to be desired.
I'm not sure how you consider yourself a few extra pounds. Either you're lying about your weight, or you have an unrealistic body image.
Anyway, I'm not going to waste my breath, you're 18, and you'd probably rather not take my advice anyway.
Posted: 3/23/2007 9:21:54 PM
|Listen, I have a feeling that you're not going to like this, so brace yourself for brutal honesty.|
I don't really know what you're going for with the screen name... e-keeping? Kinda like bee keeping? I really don't know, its just weird. Your headline is true, but very dull. Kinda like dull skin. You really need to just exfoliate it and show us what you've got underneath, and I hope to hell its radiant.
Next, I want you to do something about your picture situation. I hate grainy, pathetic, self captured pictures, particularly from web cams. Log onto ebay.ca and get yourself a digital, please! And only use up to date pictures, not one from each decade of hair styles. The last thing someone wants is to go on a first date and not see what they saw in a picture.
For the sake of your health, there are two things you need to do:
#1 Stop doing drugs. Mr. Mackie says "Drugs are bad, so don't do drugs, um kay?"
#2 Go for a walk. That's right, put down the game cube controller, stop touching the computer mouse, and get moving. Losing weight will not only improve your quality of life and longevity, but it will make you a more appealing prospect in the dating world.
(Told you this would be brutal.)
If you're going to use actonyms like PC, try to use them correctly.
Issues to attend to within the About Me:
* Capitalize all I's
* when using quotation marks, don't do quote space words space quote, just quote words quote... eg. "Kikilynn's a ****" not " Kikilynn's a **** "
* Learn the power of the period. Avoid run on sentences.
Posted: 3/23/2007 9:40:49 PM
|Sure, I'll stab you... I mean, your profile. Not a problem.|
#1 For God's sake, quit smoking!!!
#2 You obviously have some weird thing with mermaids, which I personally find a bit creepy, so I'm not even going to go near this one.
#3 While I do agree that you have the lips of an angel, I'm not sure I'd use it as my headline, surely you can find something catchier... but if not, that's fine. I'd personally not put it there so that the men you're trying to attract can decide for themselves... they are big boys... we hope!
#4 I realize that you live in Winnipeg, Manitoba, and there's probably f*ck all to do out there, but quit doing drugs!!
#5 You have the same problem as ekeeping - each photo of you depicts a completely different individual. Are you trying to tell us that you're schizophrenic? Multiple personality disorder anyone?
#6 No short forms. Get it? Got it? Good! DO NOT ever, EVER write w/ instead of with!!! Honestly, it takes just as much effort! Rediculous!
#7 The first date... keep dreaming. And refer to the last two sentences in #5.
Posted: 3/23/2007 9:53:55 PM
|Pointer #1 Get a picture. On that note, welcome to the fugly list. Incase you've just joined this forum, the fuglies are those who are too f*ckin ugly to post a picture. Seriously, this is internet dating, how else can we judge the book by its cover???|
Pointer #2 To avoid having your profile deleted my the moderators, do not use coloured text, particularly in your headline!!! Its against POF rules. Only mods are permitted to use coloured text.
Pointer #3 Try to be a bit catchier with your wording. While I find your about me particularly good, if you really want to spruce this up, we're going to have to be picky. How about leaving something to the imagination... instead of "I can go to a sporting event, sports bar, a nice restuarant, or an elegant dinner party, etc...", why not "you can dress me up, or dress me down" or something to that effect.
Pointer #4 Perfect the language. I realize that you're from Alabama... but... "I didn't say that I sing good"... replace good with well.
Pointer # 5 I'm sorry, you're on a dating site, but you're not here to date? WHAT???
Posted: 3/23/2007 9:59:01 PM
|Dan you need a catchier headline.|
Dan your profile is good.
Dan, the only thing that sucks about it is that it reads like this.
I feel like I'm reading resume meets grade one journal.
That is all I have to say.
Posted: 3/23/2007 10:00:19 PM
|Sorry... do you see your name in the name of this forum? No... hum... that's funny... cause it seems like you're trying to do my job... I don't remember hiring any employees...|
Posted: 3/23/2007 10:12:00 PM
|Way to start with the glass half empty. While your headline is disgustingly true, its less than optimistic. In trying to find a good headline, I recommend something catchy which represents you. A catch phrase from a movie or song maybe...|
I don't know if "prop dept" actually constitutes a real job, but it sounds like you're a black guy stuck in a white guy's body. What's with all the short forms? Props yo. NOT!
You have far too many interests listed. Its find to be interested in things, but try to keep yourself interesting as well. Intrigue, and a desire to continue to explore is an important part of getting to know someone, so try to leave something to the imagination. 15 interests tops, and always in multiples of three.
You're about me is great, a hint of humour even, I like it. Just one picky thing, after an ellipse (the dot dot dot), you need a space.
Posted: 3/23/2007 10:35:31 PM
|Hi kikilynn! I'm not looking for a review. I think you did me 2 years ago...lol Mwah!! Just saying hi :-)|
Posted: 3/27/2007 6:31:53 AM
Nice to see you!
Thanks for stopping by to visit!
Posted: 3/27/2007 6:45:34 AM
|Listen Caludio, don't set your sights too high, but all you want is a shipwrecked female? If you took me on a date I'd be insulted (because it insinuates that I'm shipwrecked). So lets find a new headline, eh?|
You're an aquarian, so you must be a pretty cool cat... lets see if your profile reflects that...
Your interest section is NOT the place to write full sentences. Your interests should be one word statements. Travel, cooking, humour, cuisine, cooking... etc.
Please, PLEASE, don't rant in your profile... this isn't necessary:
Before I launch into my own self praising rhetoric, Why do soooo many women say I'm a bit new to all this when they've been on another dating site since before Father Christmas was a boy?
Sentences (especially paragraphs) do not begin using the word 'but'.
Grade one grammar lesson for you: Sentences begin with capital letters and finish with some form of concluding punctuation. (Like a period, exclamation point or question mark.)
Grade two grammar lesson for you: Do not place capital letters mid-sentence.
THIS HAS GOT TO CHANGE:
And if you have ever been so lucky as to receive a message from me
You just made yourself out to be a self absorbed prick for some reason. What a turn off. After seeing that in your profile, you'd never, ever receive a response from me!! (EVER!)
Your profile is a melting pot of your baggage from past experiences. You need to purge your shit, and move on with nothing more than a thin breif case. And your profile had best reflect that you've done so or you shouldn't expect to have much luck here.
Posted: 3/27/2007 6:54:05 AM
|Could your letters be for me? I'll let you know by the end...|
I've never heard of a "pro works alot" and a lot has a space. Don't****around with us, be straight up and just put what you do.
Actually, your about me is strikingly original and I quite like it.
What you've left to do is copy and paste it into a word processor and correct all of your spelling and grammar mistakes (which aren't few) and you'll be all set!
Posted: 3/27/2007 6:58:18 AM
|#1 Step away from the webcam and get yourself some decent pictures!!|
#2 Quit smoking. You stink; I can smell you from here.
#3 Write an about me that doesn't suck, is intriguing, insightful, and grammatically sound, and you might have something.
Posted: 3/27/2007 7:03:35 AM
|I imagine you have a lot of spare time on your hands now that you're retired, so you've got some jobs to do:|
Quit smoking (completely)
Go for a walk (you do want to live a while, don't you?)
Certain things you might chose not to reveal upfront, for example:
I do have a somewhat warped sense of humour, finding the funny in even tragic events. It bugs the heck out of my daughters and sometimes I do it just to bug them!
"I live alone in my own place." ...you are fourty-nine I friggin hope you have your own place!
BTW, sorry about the pic. It's not the best of me but it's the only one I have!
So get more!!
Posted: 3/28/2007 9:56:27 PM
|To begin with, your headline has a nasty tone... but I guess you wouldn't care...|
Double check the "In my life..." paragraph; you wrote to mean and I think you meant to me...
Otherwise, I like your profile.
Posted: 3/28/2007 10:07:16 PM
|I'm finding the Oompa-loompa picture a bit creepy...|
You're really a doctorpractor??? ha ha (sarcasm) You really "crack" me up... (not really)
Your profile is generally well written except for a few spelling errors:
but not BUUuuuuuuttt
lose not loose
Some of your interests aren't interests... but I'm too sleepy to get nit picky.
Best of luck.
Posted: 3/28/2007 10:18:44 PM
|Nick... I sure hope you didn't use your real first and last name as your id... this isn't facebook! There are all kinds of creeps around here, you might end up being stalked! (But then, I guess during a dry spell that could be a good thing eh?)|
Please don't put sparky as your profession. How do you expect anyone to take you seriously?
The formatting of your profile is revolting. I can barely stand to read it. You need spaces after punctuation. And you need to write more flowing sentences, everything is very choppy. Try not to sound like you're ranting either... very unappealing.
Posted: 3/28/2007 10:21:47 PM
|#1 QUIT SMOKING|
#2 That's all I have to say... I wouldn't e-mail you. You're a special type of person, and your match is going to be a woman with similar... traits... soooo... maybe you'll find eachother on POF, who knows?
Posted: 3/28/2007 10:28:44 PM
|Thank you for not trying to fool anyone about your body type (although I'd say BBW is a bit extreme for you...) You get bonus points right off the bat!|
So, your profession is being a restaurant? That's original, most people I know work in restaurants on some level, but you actually are one...
On the whole though, your profile is good. I think people might see your name and be deterred, but I guess if that's the way you like it...
Posted: 3/28/2007 10:33:32 PM
as for the nasty tone, I wanted a witty movie quote and guess what was the #1 movie quote of all time?
30 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30)