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Show ALL Forums  > Profile Reviews  > It's time: Brutally Honest Profile Reviews ... as promised      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 kikilynn
Joined: 4/18/2005
Msg: 329
gnr_24Page 28 of 30    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30)
Your headline really isn't doing anything for me... you need to get something new... something that works.
Try not to call exercise a 'habit'... saying that you've adopted a healthy lifestyle sounds much better.
I don't know if you've already had a great deal of help with this, but if not, you've done a fantastic job otherwise on your profile.
Good luck!
 kikilynn
Joined: 4/18/2005
Msg: 330
rowdycowboy
Posted: 4/2/2007 2:59:31 PM
Your headline is discriminating and it serves only to push people away... your headline is supposed to rope people in!
You need to quit smoking all together.
A picture of you alone should be your main photo.
You don't have a job, very nice.
I think you meant flying accross a lake not flying across a wake... be more careful with your proof reading... or did you proof read??? I can't believe people can't correct their own errors anymore... I guess that's what's happened as a result of word processors... great...
Otherwise, not bad.
 kikilynn
Joined: 4/18/2005
Msg: 331
herselftheelf
Posted: 4/2/2007 3:05:43 PM
I'd love to know what's going to make you a 'professional biologist'??? But... either way... I hope you'll find a job...
Your writing skills leave something to be desired.
And I don't think that your profile is an appropriate place to post a questionnaire, since the people reading your profile are not necessarily your friends.
 kikilynn
Joined: 4/18/2005
Msg: 332
Mr_Gummischuh
Posted: 4/2/2007 3:28:13 PM
Your profile starts out with a headline that makes me think of porn. NOT GOOD.
You have 3 of the same picture, which is totally unnecessary. You need more shirts and more pictures.
Awesome: you have no job, that should score you huge points. (Unless you do have a job, in which case, tell us what your profession is.)

My name is Sid and I am me

Don't put this in your profile, it sounds like you're dealing with an identity crisis of some sort.
Your profile is very long, and while you do have some legit points to make, there's a lot of crap to read through to find them.
You need to do some cuting back.
 kikilynn
Joined: 4/18/2005
Msg: 333
all that glitters74
Posted: 4/4/2007 3:44:02 PM
The headline... has got to change. It makes me think I'm on fire or something, and I should stop drop and roll... well maybe you are that hot... I don't know.
I think you must have some idea that your picture isn't that great. While it is a nice head shot, its not entirely clear. You need more pictures, of good quality.
I don't entirely know why you classified yourself as BBW, but if that is the case, I would say its a good idea to begin to incorporate a variety of types of exercises into your interests, and persue them.
You need to proof read your profile. Read it very slowly, and make sure that you don't have unnecessary errors (ie. and if we become just friends that great too; should be 'that's great too').
Also, recall some grammar lessons:
Sentences begin with capital letters.
Periods, exclamation points and question marks a forms of punctuation which finish a sentence. Any following remarks are considered a new sentence, and should begin with a period.
DO learn the power of the comma and use it wisely.
DO use spaces after punctuation marks. After a period, comma, semi-colon, exclamation mark, etc. you should press the space bar, just like have done several times in this sentence.
I really can't believe that you don't want a retarded gay man who's stuck in the closet because he has not embraced his sexuality, resulting in a self-hate which is displayed by an intolerance for other human beings...
Tattoo is spelled with two t's and I cannot stand when people are too lazy to write things out in full (don't use the word tats).
Your condition is actually spelled neurofibromatosis. After that, you may wish to correct your collection of sentence fragments.
And, that's all I have to say about that.
 kikilynn
Joined: 4/18/2005
Msg: 334
petrorabbit
Posted: 4/4/2007 5:16:27 PM
Hey dude, you're looking for a nice girl? That very original. Join the club, everyone's looking for a nice girl these days... hell, even I am!
Quit smoking, it makes you smell bad.
Wow, you have no job and marijuana is one of your interests. Dude, that's awesome, you're going far in life!!! Don't let the munchies get the best of you or you'll get fat... that you'll be a real catch!
I'm not going to bother citiquing your about me, because whoever reads it after they find out that you're an unemployed pothead probably doesn't care what quality it is anyway.
 kikilynn
Joined: 4/18/2005
Msg: 335
mag1ck_man
Posted: 4/4/2007 5:31:32 PM
You really need to invest in a dictionary.
You can't spell magical, and you're a magician... hum... if, for some rediculous reason you've misspelled it on purpose, fix it. As soon as someone sees it misspelled in your headling (on purpose or not) they're going to assume that you're not that smart...
You have an overwhealming tendancy to write very short sentences. Learn the power of the comma, and start organizing your thoughts.
 DancesWithWorlds
Joined: 2/1/2005
Msg: 336
It's time: Brutally Honest Profile Reviews by Kikilynn... as promised
Posted: 4/5/2007 2:51:58 PM
Alright, I need a good laugh and a dose of the brutal. Hit me! :D
 kikilynn
Joined: 4/18/2005
Msg: 337
Raveknight
Posted: 4/8/2007 12:28:09 PM

It's no mistake if it's always repeated

I'm kinda wondering what exactly you're referring to here? Are you the mistake??
Maybe you should find something else to put here, don't want to give anyone the wrong impression. Your headline needs to be attractive and catchy so that people will want to read your profile.
You don't have a single clear headshot of yourself. A clear, attractive headshot might be the most important component of a good profile. Again, it serves to catch people's attention so that they'll read your profile.
Documentaries not Documentarys.
Your profile contains a lot of run-on sentences and sometime you should consider learing how to utilize punctuation correctly so that when you write stuff it doesn't go on and on and on and on and on and on like this is doing because it becomes laborious to read things that don't contain much useful information but seem to go on forever get it got it good. Please also don't use short forms!!!
Consider popping your about me into word and fixing your grammar and spelling mistakes.
I'm not sure what the story is with all of the lists at your about me. Ditch 'em.
 kikilynn
Joined: 4/18/2005
Msg: 338
Athom
Posted: 4/8/2007 12:35:23 PM
Step away from the webcam. Do something about your hair. Go for a walk. Get a digital camera. Get some new, clear, non-redundant headshots and a variety of other pictures. (Please!)

I'm a man with a great many interests.

Really?? Cause you only listed 7. Build that list to 12 or 15, keep it in multiples of three.

capable to fit

What are you french? We say 'capable of fitting'...
Don't use lol's in your profile. Especially if you're not funny. Its kinda like a comedian who cackles at his own jokes, ruins it for the rest of us.
I think you are french. Or some other type of foreiner. I'm not going to re-write your entire profile for you, I'm just going to tell you it needs some corrections.
 kikilynn
Joined: 4/18/2005
Msg: 339
whyamisofly
Posted: 4/8/2007 12:42:58 PM
Please, for the sake of your health, and to ensure the possibility that you will have a prosperous dating career, make your weight a priority right now. Start including physical exercise and healthy eating into your daily regimen.

First and foremost, I am said to be 28-32 based on the way I hold/compose myself.

Some people might just say that they're mature, as opposed to "28-32" since that is rather specific.
You want someone who drinks socially, not drinks in socially.

2 month old to 973 years old

Get real.

if there's a will, there's a way!!

That's a great motto, I like your positive thinking.
You sound like a great catch, to be honest.
So my only suggestions are maybe some more pictures and get serious about your health.
 kikilynn
Joined: 4/18/2005
Msg: 340
shaggy34cole
Posted: 4/8/2007 12:50:45 PM
Hi Mark, welcome to the fugly list. What this means is that you need a picture!!!
Please stop killing yourself, Mark... quit smoking!!! It will make you much more attractive. Lets be honest, its not even social norm anymore. No one else is doing it, why you?
Change your interests, they're boring!
If there's one thing I hate its redundancy.

I am a 46 year old widowed father

EVERY bit of that statement can be found in your general info. So its completely useless to have it in your about me.
Your about me is a bit... ugh. Try to utilize proper grammar and spelling. Consider writing two distinct paragraphs, a bit about you and your interests, and a paragraph about what you're looking for. This will help you to organize your thoughts.
 kikilynn
Joined: 4/18/2005
Msg: 341
Devil_May_Dance
Posted: 4/8/2007 12:56:56 PM
Your profile looks pretty good.
Small things:
You're a relaxed guy
Please don't put little ;) in your profile... so annoying!
Next year's destination
Your standards are not low. If they were, you wouldn't be here.
 kikilynn
Joined: 4/18/2005
Msg: 342
zoomba
Posted: 4/8/2007 1:00:38 PM
I'm really not sure why you're on POF.
You're a fugly, taken, smelly (smoke) mental patient... the man of every woman's dreams... not.
Funny... you're not single/not looking, but your profile goes on and one about dating...
*scratches head*roles eyes*
 kikilynn
Joined: 4/18/2005
Msg: 343
sock_puppeteer
Posted: 4/8/2007 4:02:06 PM
Your profile is written with pure excellence, wit, charm, and you've mastered the english language.
I was however annoyed by your disrespect for the profession and interest sections of the general info.

That's how I met who's behind those voices in my head.

Um... small alarm just went off... then I realized you were trying to be funny...
Some of the other jokes are a bit redundant and lame too... the Geico thing...
 likes_traveling
Joined: 5/1/2006
Msg: 344
It's time: Brutally Honest Profile Reviews by Kikilynn... as promised
Posted: 4/9/2007 11:17:12 AM
Ok see what you think. Thanks
 kikilynn
Joined: 4/18/2005
Msg: 345
billbutler8
Posted: 4/10/2007 7:42:36 PM
Oh, little Billy... what are you doing here???
So you want me to rip it apart eh?
#1 (Bet you could've guessed this was coming...) QUIT SMOKING, you smell like a stinky ashtray!

<div class="quote">I enjoy my vocation and usually seem more like play than work.-when it is not-I will go take a break and do something else.
Should be: "I enjoy my vocation and it usually seems more like play than work; when it is not, I will go take a break and do something else."

Otherwise , your profile is fabulous! You're right, you are clever and witty, and your profile backs that up. Other than the fact that you have some long distance and out of focus photos, I'm amazed you still haven't found your match!

And honey, stop waiting for me... I know I'm damn well perfect, but I'm a bit young. :P
 kikilynn
Joined: 4/18/2005
Msg: 346
Luv2knowU2
Posted: 4/10/2007 8:10:48 PM
If honesty and candor are what you want, honesty and candor are what you will get!
I quite like your profile!
However, it would be beneficial to have a clear headshot of YOU alone as your main picture. I sure hope you're the guy on the left, cause the one on the right looks a bit dorky with those sunglasses!
Noone is actually spelled no one.
Otherwise, you may be receiving few messages as a result of the number of restrictions you have imposed... for example, I could never e-mail you!
Good luck!
 kikilynn
Joined: 4/18/2005
Msg: 347
fwest911
Posted: 4/10/2007 8:14:21 PM
Your profile is awful. Delete it.
Or... put down the cell phone, get some new, clear headshots (of your face... get your mind out of the gutter), get a job and quit doing drugs.
Then write a new about me, and don't try to use humor, yours sucks.
 kikilynn
Joined: 4/18/2005
Msg: 348
randomanalysis
Posted: 4/10/2007 8:22:31 PM
Wow, the headline really disturbs me... since that's what my ex-fiance said when he left... "I just need to experience life..." Well... best of luck to ya pal!
Anyway... perhaps you can find something a bit more... captivating.
You could use more photos.
I don't imagine you actually work as a slave monkey, so please, write something else.
Don't use short forms like 'SPC', and don't write etc etc in your interests.
Don't whine and complain in your about me that its difficult to write an about me. It makes you seem... incompetent and simple minded... in which case you shouldn't expect to find an attractive, smart, and interesting girl.
Your first date section is rather unappealing too, since it starts out with... "shit, uh"...
 kikilynn
Joined: 4/18/2005
Msg: 349
sirhcitna
Posted: 4/10/2007 8:39:55 PM

Which way is upstream?

Sounds like an important question, if you're a sperm.
You obviously need to quit smoking and doing drugs.
The first thing I thought when I looked at your about me was, "Whoa! Too many emoticons!"
Does this sentence make sense: "Why is everyone going the wrong?"
The sentence following it doesn't even begin with a capital letter! What poor utilization of the english language and grammar!
In general, your profile is a difficult read, mostly because of all of the random moving things.
 kikilynn
Joined: 4/18/2005
Msg: 350
Tariff
Posted: 4/10/2007 8:43:22 PM
I don't know why you've written prefer not to say beside body type, it looks like you have a hotter body than I do, and I'm 24!
Your about me is okay. Its a bit choppy, but it works.
 kikilynn
Joined: 4/18/2005
Msg: 351
LooknC
Posted: 4/10/2007 8:47:34 PM
I like the headline. Its cute.
Please, quit smoking.
Always begin sentences with capitals.
Religeous is spelled religious.
Ever considered writting paragraphs? Just a thought. Then you can group like things together...
 kikilynn
Joined: 4/18/2005
Msg: 352
yddraiggoch
Posted: 4/11/2007 9:10:34 PM
Please tell me that you normally are a well kept young man, and that photos 2 and 3 were just a bad day when you were in dyer need of a good haircut. In this case, delete photos 2 and 3.
Please have a look at your interests and determine what is an interest and what is a trait. Traits don't belong here, interests belong here.
Please, no need to repeat any information which is stated in the general info section of the profile.
Otherwise, its okay. You've got some baggage that you've laid right out in there... remember that I always say, purge as much as you can and only move on with a thin breifcase!
 H2O and go
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 353
view profile
History
It's time: Brutally Honest Profile Reviews by Kikilynn... as promised
Posted: 4/13/2007 10:06:20 PM
Was going to attempt some clever message here, but forget that, I want you to get to work on my profile.
Show ALL Forums  > Profile Reviews  > It's time: Brutally Honest Profile Reviews ... as promised