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 Raven1
Joined: 9/14/2004
Msg: 118
Why do some guys write they want friends first?Page 2 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)

Why waste time being friends if there is no chemistry. To me thats a waste of time kinda.


How is that a waste of time? If there's no chemistry then at least you've made a new friend. Sometimes you end up meeting someone you're interested in dating through friends. Life's encounters are many times interconnected if you understand what I mean by that.

Things happen for a reason and many times people come into out lifes for a reason. The reasoning might not be immediate but it will eventualy come through.

Plus at least you've made a new friend to hang out and do things with.

Beats being online all the time and waiting for things to happen!
 Poet102781
Joined: 8/22/2005
Msg: 123
Why do some guys write they want friends first?
Posted: 5/8/2006 4:14:46 PM
I put e-mail first, then friends then whatever comes next....because if you went through as many physcos as I did, you would understand. I need to seriously watch my stepps, because I cant handel another crazy woman.
 kcoffeecan
Joined: 4/29/2006
Msg: 129
Why do some guys write they want friends first?
Posted: 6/7/2006 12:13:14 AM
Actually, the women started this one..........A lot of women state that they want to be "friends first and see where it goes". The men are just picking up the vibe.
 kcoffeecan
Joined: 4/29/2006
Msg: 130
Why do some guys write they want friends first?
Posted: 6/7/2006 12:20:47 AM
Coaster, R U referrring to the men, the women.... or both
 purplestardust101
Joined: 4/27/2006
Msg: 134
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Why do some guys write they want friends first?
Posted: 6/7/2006 6:04:00 AM
Beccato...I want friends first also...to me...a great relationship is built on a great friendship...it's the glue that holds two hearts together...you find out what the both of you are really like first and then move into what you both like more freely...and TOGETHER...I want to be best friends with my guy...where we can talk to each other about anything...and never hold back for fear of making the wrong answer or mistakes...And with your best friend...you NEVER feel like that...making for a very happy relationship for us...a lasting one to me...So, yes, I want him to be my "Best Friend"...
~Micheline~
 brit man
Joined: 9/5/2007
Msg: 138
Why do some guys write they want friends first?
Posted: 11/18/2007 8:15:52 AM
perhaps they really do mean friends first some do and some dont just try and sort the good from the bad and yu will do ok
 gumby03
Joined: 11/12/2007
Msg: 140
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Why do some guys write they want friends first?
Posted: 11/18/2007 7:48:29 PM


It's a tactic. It comes from overanalysing the myth that people want what they don't have. So they think that if they pretend to want to be friends first more women will want them. It's a blind leading the blind strategy.


Some of us really *do* think that way, though there are indeed plenty who are using it as a tactic as you describe. But it's definitely not true in all cases. I don't have that in my profile myself, because it can sound silly and some people will misinterpret. Yes, I want "friendship first", but I don't want to make it sound like you can't be flirty or anything.
 gumby03
Joined: 11/12/2007
Msg: 141
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Why do some guys write they want friends first?
Posted: 11/18/2007 8:00:52 PM
I think some might put "friends first" if it doesn't work out romantically/intimately, but would still consider having basic friendship. Just because it might not work out romantically doesn't mean it's an all-or-nothing situation.

After reading over this thread, it looks like you can sum on "friends first" like this: It can mean a great deal of things, depending on the person. Of course, this can be said about a lot of things too, so...
 lisafine
Joined: 9/14/2006
Msg: 154
Why do some guys write they want friends first?
Posted: 11/19/2007 3:47:45 PM
Friends first is a good way to start, it means no expecatations or pressure for anything further when meeting someone new.
I like the concept, it leaves the door wide open for possibilities, it's a low-key, relaxed and easy-going approach.
What could be more inviting?
 canadian_kitkat
Joined: 11/20/2006
Msg: 157
Why do some guys write they want friends first?
Posted: 11/20/2007 10:32:14 AM
Friends first - means they want to take it slow, get to know each other - becoming friends first, instead of just jumping into a serious relationship with them after just meeting :)

You need time to get to know someone - know their positives and negatives
then decide after becoming friends if it should be more then that.

We all know someone that has jumped into a serious relationship or even worse had the person move in within an extremely short time before accepting the negative things about them (we all have negative things)
but you need time to accept them or you just hold in the difference and create tension

anyways friends first before a serious relationship is a good thing
wishing you all luck in your search
 SparkintheDark
Joined: 8/2/2006
Msg: 158
Why do some guys write they want friends first?
Posted: 12/17/2007 5:57:36 PM
I am STILL PERPLEXED about the "FRIENDS FIRST" thing... I mean, I try not to go out on dates with/kiss/holds hands with/show sexual interest, in my FRIENDS.

So, if a man has that in his profile, I keep moving. I'm done trying to figure this whole thing out.

 AndalusiaJoey
Joined: 8/6/2007
Msg: 167
Why do some guys write they want friends first?
Posted: 3/19/2008 11:34:57 AM
Yes, we are using a reverse psychology on women. Since women worry about men who put "intimate encounters" in profiles then if a man who still want to have sex on the first date puts "friends first" in profile maybe she will feel comfortable enough to have sex? Sure it's logic, in a crazy way.
 outlawtomboy
Joined: 12/19/2007
Msg: 170
Why do some guys write they want friends first?
Posted: 3/19/2008 4:27:37 PM
i'm the LAST one to understand this one! i was informed of this very thing toward the end of a first date recently....and after he had been behaving in a more than Just Friendly way. it was a big downer and spoiled the fun for me, after what had started as a LOVELY date. i was thinking he was explaining that he wouldn't be seeing me again and he was DONE. when he took me home, he asked if he could see me again. way too confoozing for my little brain!
 bearded_romantic
Joined: 6/12/2006
Msg: 175
Why do some guys write they want friends first?
Posted: 3/19/2008 11:11:12 PM
.

Women, of course, are far more likely to say "friends first" -- mostly because they don't commit quickly. Has nothing to do -- necessarily -- with kissing or holding hands or being flirty.

A guy is probably just copying what he sees in so many women's profiles. Don't forget, a lot of us have been burned, and are going to be a bit cautious next time around ... especially "True Romantics" who tend to commit too quickly anyhow. (I know, I'm one.)

.
 bearded_romantic
Joined: 6/12/2006
Msg: 176
Why do some guys write they want friends first?
Posted: 3/19/2008 11:20:59 PM
.



Reddwine
Most men I meet offline will say this line. " Even if we dont hit it off, we will always be friends".. and you know what? I never see them again,thats a lie


Hmm, you may need to be a bit more selective. And it may depend WHEN they say it. If before they really get to know you, that's a line -- and a big enough line to never see him again in my view.

All my females friends who are VERY attractive, like you, get all kinds of phony ploys. I'd guess you should be used to that by now.

I'm now up to THREE very good friends I met online. We were very close, but not THAT close. With two of the women, we say we love each other but not in love, and will likely be friends for life ... not that hard in our 60s!

Point being, we went far enough downstream together, on genuine affection, and concluded the love of our lives is yet to come. That means several months in my case.

.
 Naughtical
Joined: 4/27/2007
Msg: 177
Why do some guys write they want friends first?
Posted: 3/19/2008 11:30:32 PM

Why do some guys write they want friends first?

Because they learned that saying I want to get laid first just does not work.
 itsmekenny
Joined: 2/17/2007
Msg: 179
Why do some guys write they want friends first?
Posted: 3/19/2008 11:45:18 PM
what do you want us to put? come to my house, we can cuddle on the couch and talk, go from there? The fact remains is that men and women are always going to drive each other crazy and themselves crazy trying to figure out what to say, what to write, what to wear, how they should look and act. A good piece of advice would be if a man writes down he's only looking for friends write him a letter if you're interested and tell him what you're looking for. But with political correctness and sexual harassment out of control man not only have to be careful what they say but were they look what they write. I think you get the picture so to all women who read this if you're interested write and send a message. Because believe it or not most men are flattered when a woman makes the first move because if you don't we may not even see you or worse yet take one look at you and say to themselves it is not possible for a woman that beautiful to be single. As a result he may simply walk away.
 justin_mtl
Joined: 2/9/2008
Msg: 180
Why do some guys write they want friends first?
Posted: 3/20/2008 1:00:47 AM
Because they may be shy...
 wonwascallywabbit
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 181
Why do some guys write they want friends first?
Posted: 3/20/2008 1:13:49 AM
Half of the people who put this there, men and women alike, are hoping to weed out a few people looking for a one night stand. The other half puts this on there because even though they do one night stands at the drop of a hat (pants actually) they don't want the world to view them as they are.
 justin_mtl
Joined: 2/9/2008
Msg: 184
Why do some guys write they want friends first?
Posted: 3/20/2008 2:04:27 AM

some guys want to move beyond the manuliputive flirts of well you figure it out, and fully dont expect to get laid that night either


Did you read my mind?

I hate lies,
therefore I don't lie,
therefore I suck at flirting,
therefore I'm not so fond of first dates,
therefore friends first is better for me,
therefore I write it on my profile,
therefore some people might think I'm lying,
therefore I write this to prove I'm not...

And I do also believe friends first is the way to go if you want to build a long lasting relationship. So friends first is partly out of incapacity to do well in first dates and because I believe in longterm
 nebula22
Joined: 8/14/2007
Msg: 187
Why do some guys write they want friends first?
Posted: 3/20/2008 1:04:03 PM
I believe in friends first.!!!!
Does that make me a prude?
I go to hippie gatherings where people run around naked and many believe in free love..
I have turned down more girls than most guys ever get a chance at.
SEX IS NOT A RELATIONSHIP.!!!!
A relationship starts with two people that are friends and want the same things for the other that they want for themself..
Anyone can have sex...
Everyone will not be good at being in a relationship..
So,,, Friends first insures that you know who you are with and if they are someone that you would want a relationship with..
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