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Joined: 3/6/2007
Msg: 359
Girls Night OutPage 20 of 20    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)
So say you are dating someone new that you are really crazy about! She says they are crazy for you and so on. Here is my question. Is it acceptable for her to go for a "Girls Night Out" with her friends who are single, to places she use to go with them when she was single, and drink like a fish(becuase we all know thats what single people do) and then sleep over at one of those single girlfriends houses after the bar?

Trust would be a factor for sure..I have no problem with Girls night out in a strong relationship I would encourage it,If She has had a few drinks and was a little tipsy..
...then ya I'd expect Her to make the right decision and sleep it off.
If I can't respect Her enough for being wise enough to make Her own decisions as an adult..maybe I shouldn't be with Her..JMO

edit:..Besides I'm probably gonna be out with da boys anyways kicking back a few.
Joined: 1/30/2007
Msg: 360
Girls Night Out
Posted: 3/23/2007 5:03:36 PM

" will say that it is possible for a non-threatening male to join the herd"

I doubt if I'd bother.

The last thing I need is a spiteful woman in my life.
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 361
view profile
Girls Night Out
Posted: 3/23/2007 5:10:28 PM
I've personally never gone out with the girls, or A girlfriend and had it be any more or less than enjoying each others' company. Doesn't have to be a friends and I have been approached in Denny's. It's not what the men do, it's how the women respond that is the OP's concern.
We enjoy our time out together and don't welcome distractions or intrusions. Not rude, but don't engage, either....much less LOOK for it.
Joined: 6/22/2006
Msg: 362
Girls Night Out
Posted: 3/23/2007 10:18:31 PM
I had a GNO tonight.

I'm not ovulating, so perhaps this explains the reason why I did not fling an alpha male to the ground to usurp his superior sperm.
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 364
Girls Night Out
Posted: 3/27/2007 6:29:55 PM
I guess I'm a minority. I have NEVER enjoyed GNO, and stopped participating many many years ago. I simply see no need. I can have lunch with the girls, see them at the gym, visit them at home, etc. I simply see no need to go to a bar/club with a bunch of my girlfriends. When I used to agree to go, I was inevitably the purse-holder, cell-phone-answerer, and more often than not, the DD. Nope, for me ~ give me my man and a night out with other couples or just the two of us alone. The whole GNO thing just seems pointless to me. The odd thing ~ I have absolutely NO problem with my man going out with the guys. It's personal preference I suppose.
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 365
Girls Night Out
Posted: 3/27/2007 7:31:29 PM

OMG - there is one left that considers her SO's feelings.
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 366
view profile
Girls Night Out
Posted: 3/27/2007 7:48:24 PM
"there is one left that considers her SO's feelings." Not the only one Ron, but I agree it's nice to see a couple that's respectful of their relationship.
I haven't gone out with the girls in awhile to a bar. Last time I did it was meeting some people, one girlpal from POF, to do karaoke.
When my sweetie was here last visit, I had found a British pub that has the soccer (football...they call it) league that his team plays in. We went there one evening for a visit and had a great time, he met some new mates, the owner of the bar. I'm sure once he moves here, he'll enjoy going and watching the games with his new friends.
If I did want to go out with the girls, he'd know where we were going, and likely wouldn't be out til all hours, and guarantee I wouldn't be drinking. And not because it would be because he wouldn't trust me at all, it's just that I'd rather not be out til the wee hours with a bunch of people who are slammed. I've gone out with the girls for lunch and been hit's not just that it's a bar. And I've worked in them before, as my SO has, alcohol is the liquid courage for some. Doesn't affect me at all, I don't flirt and don't welcome it. Not rude, just know how to let someone know they're wasting their breath.
I can't think of anything I would do that my SO had any hesitations about that would be that important to me to cause him concern or worry. And only for my safety and well being.
Bottom line is we're happy, and I wouldn't worry about him being out, I took him to Hooters when he was here. It's just obvious to some here who's really happy and secure in their relationships and who aren't.
There are people who have problems with a jealous partner....I couldn't or wouldn't deal with that type of insecurity myself.
Joined: 10/22/2006
Msg: 367
Girls Night Out
Posted: 4/10/2007 10:20:29 PM
If the one you're interested in is out doing things that you're not comfortable with---then don't take her seriously. Continue to date until you find one that you're comfertable with. Good luck!
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 369
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Girls Night Out
Posted: 11/20/2007 4:47:28 PM
"Our love continued to grow and we were married September 24 2006. We grow closer together every day and could not be happier. "

Wonderful news!! SOOO happy for you both.

Oh and thanks for the update (for those who read...haha!!)
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 370
view profile
Girls Night Out
Posted: 11/20/2007 4:55:16 PM
Trust is the must trust the person you are with to be faithful to you.
Joined: 5/22/2007
Msg: 371
view profile
Girls Night Out
Posted: 11/20/2007 5:50:11 PM
I know where you're coming from and you've gotta wonder. I wonder why he/she has to have a "girls" nite out at the bar, rather than a nite out with you.

I know it's healthy to let your significant other or girlfriend/boyfriend do their own thing. It's also important to have a life of your own as well.

The bigger question lies in how secure you feel about your relationship, do you believe she loves you and you fullfill all her needs? It's also a value thing, does she have any?

Either way let her do her thing but make sure you do your own thing too!!
Joined: 10/14/2007
Msg: 373
Girls Night Out
Posted: 11/23/2007 9:08:41 PM
You're absolutely insane if you think she should stop LIVING just because she's got a boyfriend! Girls Nights exist as do Boys Nights! If you plan to go drinking with your buddies while watching a football game (as you did when you were single) you darn well shouldn't stop her from having fun with her friends! After all, you will probably screw her over some day and then she will need those girl friends to help her heal!
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 374
Girls Night Out
Posted: 11/23/2007 9:20:17 PM
OH NO .......

Who brought back this ......

“I do what I want to - with who I want to - when I want to and if you don’t like it you are a controlling azzhole” thread.

Just shoot me lol.
Joined: 10/14/2007
Msg: 375
Girls Night Out
Posted: 11/23/2007 9:21:35 PM
Come on, you can't tell me that I'm wrong in what I wrote.
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 376
view profile
Girls Night Out
Posted: 11/23/2007 9:26:16 PM
Did anyone else read the update? Post 478?? He brought the thread back up to share the good news!! A happy ending!!

Wow...I'm happy for them, if you can't share in that or READ....a few posts!!

Thank GOD it's not reading comprehension...just an internet forum.
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 377
Girls Night Out
Posted: 11/23/2007 9:35:35 PM
yes, i think it is controlling and presumptive to think that she should give up her friendships and/or usual activities with them, just because you don't think she should... the only reason for you to have input into that is if she were cheating on you during those times or that her "girls night out" s were so frequent as to drain away the time for your relationship with her.. neither of which appears to be the case..

(and btw. not all single people "drink like a fish", just a fyi ;))
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 378
Girls Night Out
Posted: 11/23/2007 9:38:52 PM


I stopped by to see how my old thread was going (been a long run) and update anyone who may still be interested in what ended up happening.

I look back at this thread and realize how much I have grown since I started dating and even living on my own for that matter. I really am very sad that so many people simply do not understand what being in a monogamous relationship is all about. I think maybe it is because so few have found the person that makes them want to forsake all others.

I originally wanted advice about this matter because I felt such a strong connection to this woman I was seeing that I didn't want anything to disrupt our relationship. After getting posts that both agreed with my view point and were completely against it I made a major decision, DON'T ****ING LISTEN TO ANYONE BUT THE PERSON YOU ARE WITH.

What we found was that we both had problems, like everyone does. I had some insecurity issues and she had some independence issues. We both worked really hard on our own issues and kept friends and family out of the equation. Suddenly things seemed clear and my feelings of insecurity slipped away and I encouraged her to have Girls Night Out (without the staying the night elsewhere for safety reasons) and because I was ok with it, she realized that she didn’t need it and in fact it was not a practice that was conducive to a healthy relationship that might have a future.

Our love continued to grow and we were married September 24 2006. We grow closer together every day and could not be happier.

I have some advice for anyone who may be getting married.

1. Planning a wedding is extremely stressful for one reason and one reason only...everyone who has nothing to do with it wants to tell you what you should do.

2. When you find the right person you will not "need" time away from them that involves going to bars or clubs. If you feel you "need" that kind of space, you are not ready to move forward in the relationship.

3. Keep everything about your relationship to yourself and your S/O. Do not pull a classic Sex and the City and complain to your friends about everything your S/O does, this is not healthy and it makes them take your side and put a negative perspective on your relationship.

That’s it, thanks for all the hours of bad and worse advice...and the good as well.
I hope each of you can find just a small piece of happiness my wife and I have found.


good luck and much continued happiness to you both
Joined: 6/23/2007
Msg: 379
Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/5/2007 3:02:29 PM
I think ur letting jeaolusy kick in. Me and my girls go out once a eek some in a relationship, some not...Not all women go to the bars looking for men, we go to drink, chat, and dance. No harm in that
Joined: 4/26/2004
Msg: 380
Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/5/2007 4:40:48 PM
There is nothing wrong with a girls night out, I even encourage it. But if we are talking about excessively, almost every night, showing up in the morning, then most people would probably have a problem with it. If the girls night out was only about going to bars to have fun, I might also be a little concerned with that too. I could see going to a bar one time, bowling the next, movies, ect. Its not only about trust, but also respecting the relationship you are currently in.
Joined: 2/20/2008
Msg: 381
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Girls Night Out
Posted: 2/24/2008 3:03:56 AM
No, you're not "controlling" but maybe insecure. At what point do you start to "hang-out" where they go just to "see". Kick it to the curb, your feelings or her and stop waiting at home watching the clock. Sorry bud, you've gotta move on one way or another. Make up your mind.
Joined: 2/20/2008
Msg: 382
Girls Night Out
Posted: 2/24/2008 3:23:00 AM
It is fine thaht we all enjoy our own individual friends..

After all NO one OWNS ANYONE...
Just becasue your are an Item.. you are Not Siamese Twins joined at the hip...
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 384
Girls Night Out
Posted: 2/25/2008 7:01:16 PM
The reality of this in my humble opinion is that if she is not married to you then she can do what she wants. Even married people do this too, but then if you catch them doing something like cheating then you have reason. Otherwise leave her and go meet someone who doesn't do the girls night out thing.
Joined: 4/8/2005
Msg: 385
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Girls Night Out
Posted: 2/25/2008 7:37:11 PM
Although you have no right to tell someone what to do, I do see your point. Getting drunk at a bar with a bunch of single guys and girls will probably lead to no good eventually and shows a lack of respect for your feelings. Personally, I wouldn't date someone who liked to get drunk and it sounds like you aren't much of a partier yourself. If I were you I would look at the bigger picture for you and your compatibility. Do you really want to be with someone who behaves in this manner?
Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 387
Girls Night Out
Posted: 2/26/2008 1:06:13 AM
I do not care how many of you harp about insecurity and trust and all that. This is NOT ok. I have seen it over and over again over the years and have experienced it myself with a significant other, and every single time it has resulted in trouble. If a person has any respect at all for their man or their woman, they are not going to go get drunk in a singles bar with their single friends. This is setting one's self up for trouble with a capital T. As a girl gets her buzz on there are going to be about twenty guys hitting on her every ten minutes, so it is going to be rather difficult to just visit with her girlfriends anyway. If she wants to have fun with her single girlfriends there is nothing wrong with going to a concert or to a small neighborhood pub that is not a meat market. If a person has someone in their life that they love, I simply cannot think of any possible reason why they would wish to go into a situation where they are out dancing with other people and being continually approached by them. There is plain and simply no justification for it whatsoever and if it were my girl she would come home to find me gone. Been there, done that.
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