Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 mortalez
Joined: 4/9/2005
Msg: 69
Girls Night OutPage 3 of 20    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)

What if she just enjoys dancing with her friends?..Where would she do that? Or she likes to listen to live music?. ..It is up to you to decide what's important and what's frivoulous?
What if some of her friends are still single and ask her to join them, where they go? What's she supposed to say.."Can not really do that with you anymore..Not allowed..met someone and he is more important Though she'd know the man some short amount of time and them ten years?


So if she wants to act like she is single she should have never agreed to be with him its that simple .
he should not HAVE to tell her what to do , I would have a talk with her and if she gives me a line about its only friends and fun and such I say nothing , I just simply end it and let her live her life as she wants , I cant control any woman nor will I try , in a case like that I wont make her choose because in my mind she has made her choice . (PS: who do you think she's dancing with ? thats right other guys).


.You trust someone or you don't..Somoen who wants to cheat can do that anytime, anywhere...I and get to decide how to spend my free time. Cal me on my cell...Pop in..He knows where I am and he knows if he does in pops in..he's not going to find anything amiss..if he knows me at all. Like that simply red song.."if you don't know me by now"..


Yes you can cheat on someone anytime , but in a relationship trust is defined by actions , if you act trust worthy you are more likely to be trusted , There is a law here in texas called atractive nusance , in which you are fined for leaving your key in the car or leaving the gate to your pool unlocked , it often leads to a reduced charge if you commit a crime of opportunity because the law recognizes that some people will only commite crimes if the opportunity shows its self (meaning the guy who climbs in through an open window but would never pick a lock or break a window to get in )
Well the same goes for cheating , some people will only cheat if the temptation is there , so why go into the devils playground (bars and niteclubs)and risk the temptation ?
I want a long term relationship partly because I am burnt out on the bar scene , if I still wanted to go to clubs and such I would not be looking for a relationship because it would not be fair to the said partner .
So if a girl i was with felt the need to go out and shake her tushy , I would feel she has not gotten the single life out of her system , and being that I dont believe in changing people I'd move on even knowing it would hurt me to do so(even more than it would hurt her).
 judythecutey
Joined: 12/8/2005
Msg: 70
Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 10:21:36 AM
Hi Mortalez..
FYI.. If I am in a committed relationship, I do not dance with other men. Yep, I do go out to dance, talk, laugh and catch up with my GFs..Interesting you'd equate someone doing this with a crime..heeh not exactly the same.
As I have said before, we all have the right to search for what we thing will work for us, as individuals. I do not see being with my friends and having fun as "acting single" I plan to have friends my whole life..I think everyone should.
We are just going to have to agree to disagree. You have a right to date someone who wouldn't go to a club..and I have a right to date someone who can trust me JMO j
 crunchberries
Joined: 8/16/2005
Msg: 71
Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 10:26:29 AM
I believe that people really should be responsible enough to regulate thier drinking or choose a DD, so they dont have to spend the night places. I would question whether I wanted to be with someone who cannot regulate that. Again, I dont know if spending the night somewhere is right or wrong, but I have seen an awful lot of people who do that regularly, begin cheating at some point. So, again, I guess I just wouldnt be with someone who does that kind of thing alot. But, balance being what it is, sometimes things happen that are out of our control and I do agree that safety on the roads is the primary concern.
 crunchberries
Joined: 8/16/2005
Msg: 72
Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 10:27:16 AM
I am a mortalez fan at this point......
 YamIhere
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 73
view profile
History
Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 12:35:05 PM
The bottom line of this entire thread comes down to trust and self confidence. Why even be involved with someone if you can’t trust them to control themselves?
 yep211
Joined: 7/6/2004
Msg: 74
view profile
History
Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 1:08:16 PM
If a girl is going out, it's obviously to cheat on you.
you should tell her to stop, make a big smothering attempt at being controlling, and send her my way when she leaves you.

p.s. why the hell are you worried what she does on girls night out?
you should be preoccupied with poker night with your boys.
 mortalez
Joined: 4/9/2005
Msg: 75
Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 1:17:04 PM

p.s. why the hell are you worried what she does on girls night out?
you should be preoccupied with poker night with your boys.


hhhmmmm choice ..... spending an evening with my girl , or spending a nite playing card with a bounch of guys ? which is more plesurable ? hhhmmmmmm
girl .... boyz ..... hhhmmmm

The choice is easy for me . I'd rather be with my girl more plessurable .
 yep211
Joined: 7/6/2004
Msg: 76
view profile
History
Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 1:20:47 PM
there's a time for everything man. why not do both?

i sure as hell want time with my boys and plenty of romance time too. get the best of both worlds.
 yep211
Joined: 7/6/2004
Msg: 77
view profile
History
Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 1:21:45 PM
oh and guys, if you suspect the girl is cheating, chances are, your subconsience is telling you the right thing. so ditch her out and move on. easy as pie.
 mortalez
Joined: 4/9/2005
Msg: 78
Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 1:28:18 PM

given the choice I do what is more enjoyable , I like my friends but they cant do for me what a girl can do for me , (and if they tried they'd get their a$$'s kicked) .
 yep211
Joined: 7/6/2004
Msg: 79
view profile
History
Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 1:29:30 PM
so what you're saying is you want a girl with you, providing you entertainment, every day on your whim.

is the sky pink in your dreamland?
 mortalez
Joined: 4/9/2005
Msg: 80
Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 1:39:20 PM

so what you're saying is you want a girl with you, providing you entertainment, every day on your whim.


Never said that , I just mean if she is the girl for me nothing else will give me the SAME rush .


is the sky pink in your dreamland?


No but something else is .

 undercover blonde
Joined: 6/3/2005
Msg: 81
Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 1:41:42 PM
There is nothing wrong with a girls night / guys night out when you are in a relationship. Just because you commit to someone does not mean that your friends mean less to you or you don't need any time away from your partner.
If you cannot trust your girl to go out dancing and drinking with her friends then you have a problem. And I see nothing wrong with crashing at a friend's place to sleep it off, especialy if she tells you before hand what she is doing.
My b/f enjoys his time out with his friends (a lot of times they end up at a topless bar, but boys will be boys), and if he drinks too much to get home safely then he better go sleep it off at his friend's or call me for a ride.
Jealousy and insecurity has no place in a relationship.
 yep211
Joined: 7/6/2004
Msg: 82
view profile
History
Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 1:41:50 PM
i'm telling you man, you have to be well rounded. If you don't have time for yourself or your friends anymore, you'll have "tunnel vision".

I agree about your comment with the rush, but you have to have your hobbies and friends.

and yes. pink...


lol
 yep211
Joined: 7/6/2004
Msg: 83
view profile
History
Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 1:42:53 PM
a little of the right kind of jealousy is appropriate,

a full blown controll freak jealous outburst isn't.
 DacaInaru
Joined: 8/18/2005
Msg: 84
Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 1:53:05 PM
So in other words.. once a person enters into a committed relationship they should "stop living" and stop socializing, give up thier family and friends for a lack of better words.. hmmm its almost like the idea that once your in a committed relationship you let yourself go.. and just stop caring..

being in a relationship doesn't mean you have to stop being who you are and having those you love around you.. . and not everyone who is single goes out to drink like a fish.. there are many women out there and men who don't drink when they go out..

I am one of the few single women left in my circle of friends and guess what.. we all go out once a month to a club... dance and some of the girls do drink and if they do get drunk they stay over etc.. instead of driving home..

The men stay home and baby sit for a lack of better words.. and guess what.. the men all get together once a month and have poker night.. or they also go out clubbing..

one thing is the trust is there and they know who the wife/husband is going home to..

work on your trust issues.. its sucks not to trust the people your involved with.. not everyone is the same.. and honestly the least you trust the more likely your relationship is to fail.

good luck
 mortalez
Joined: 4/9/2005
Msg: 85
Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 2:09:20 PM

There is nothing wrong with a girls night / guys night out when you are in a relationship. Just because you commit to someone does not mean that your friends mean less to you or you don't need any time away from your partner.
If you cannot trust your girl to go out dancing and drinking with her friends then you have a problem.


Then the girl/guy should just stay single , have all the fun you want with nobody to answer to , when you have gotten it out of your system then you settle down .


And I see nothing wrong with crashing at a friend's place to sleep it off,


The first thing I see wrong is that he/she got that drunk to begin with , nothing wrong with having a few drinks but to drink so much you have to sleep it off is a huge redflag .

When in a commited relationship one should never let the sun come up on him/her .
 Ms. Picky
Joined: 1/11/2005
Msg: 86
Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 2:17:30 PM
mortalez,

I'm with you 100%. I would question her need to get that drunk.
 mortalez
Joined: 4/9/2005
Msg: 87
Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 2:37:54 PM
mortalez,

I'm with you 100%. I would question her need to get that drunk.


Finually a woman that understands , now here is a none alco-whore-ic...... er...... alcoholic beer .
 yep211
Joined: 7/6/2004
Msg: 88
view profile
History
Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 2:39:45 PM
i think that it's pretty simple. if you can't handle a girl that binge drinks, (and i'm one of those people) don't waste time trying to control them out of it.

just leave them
 Ms. Picky
Joined: 1/11/2005
Msg: 89
Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 2:54:35 PM
yep211,

That's just it...you reach a certain age where binge drinking is simply gross.

mortalez, Thanks for the antiwhoreic drink! lol
 judythecutey
Joined: 12/8/2005
Msg: 91
Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 5:48:28 PM
....Just that I don't like the idea of single friends at a singles bar getting so ****ed up that they cannot drive safetly and needing to stay the night at someone elses home. Please ReRead my original post thanks

Depending on height and weight..Two light beers classify you as DUI..If I know I am going to drink when I go out, I don't drive home. That is not only the smart, but safe, thing to do.

So is that to *** ** to drive home?

If you think she has a drinking problem..that's another issue. .If the only way you can trust someone is limit try to thier movements..so they'll have "no/less oppurtunity"...what can I say?. If you distrust her this much, call her on a landline wherever she is. Then call back and see if it is the GF's house..Of course she may run for the hills.... "good luck with all that"
 crunchberries
Joined: 8/16/2005
Msg: 92
Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 7:17:00 PM
@ the truth and mortalez

I get your drift entirely. But there is something to be said for what yep says too. The thing is that I used to fight against behavior that was inappropriate etc, and it didnt work. The binge drinking is one of those things. Drugs were another. Other guys was another. Fighting it doesnt work. Dumping works. If you are willing to let someone go, you are in the position of strength, and if that person cares enough about you, they will make changes so both of you can move on. But if not, then the person will inevitably walk on you. It is a really fine line, my same sex heterosexual friends. And also mortalez, it will be hard to find females who agree with you because they view friendship differently than we do. Some of them really do see it as a friendship, just like they have with their girlfriends, and some of them will deny, to the day they DIE that there is any attraction on their part. We dont, and thats why we get it, when we talk to each other. But there is a chasm I am trying so hard to breech. Some girls learn it with experience and do settle down a little, some never get it.
 Bikeman_
Joined: 10/8/2005
Msg: 93
Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 7:30:49 PM

So say you are dating someone new that you are really crazy about! She says they are crazy for you and so on. Here is my question. Is it acceptable for her to go for a "Girls Night Out" with her friends who are single, to places she use to go with them when she was single, and drink like a fish(becuase we all know thats what single people do) and then sleep over at one of those single girlfriends houses after the bar?

This was an interesting read so far.

Everyone is going to have their own opinions about same gender group intoxication. My opinion is that this scenario could be real innocent and fun, or the ladies are out to sow their wild oats. I don't know, truth, what your girlfriend's intentions are, so I'm not going to comment on that, since I'd only be guessing.

I will say this from the way you phrased the question. You do seem controlling. You say she is out with singles going to the same places WHEN SHE WAS SINGLE. Dude, SHE'S STILL SINGLE! You aren't engaged or married, are you? She's single. It's normal behavior for young women to go out in groups.

Maybe she can call you to tell you everything's ok. Where there's alcohol involved, there's potential danger. Maybe you can call her or ask her to call you on occasion during the evening. That seems a little needy but she might go along with it.

Also, not all single people drink like a fish. Do you know how much your gf drinks when she's out with her girlfriends? Like a few ladies here mentioned, often the girls like dancing with each other, listening to the band or whatever, they could be shooting pool or just shooting the sh1t.

So without more information about your young lady friend, I'd say you are the one with the issues, not her. It's ok for you to be uncomfortable with a girl who goes out with her girlfriends.

Then again, if you make an issue out of this with her, don't be surprised if she cuts you loose. You gotta assess the risk of a breakup by asking her to modify her behavior for you. I'm not saying it's right or wrong to ask someone to behave differently to stay in a relationship with them. Say if I were doing something kinda selfish and didn't think I was, I'd want my partner to maturely share her feelings with me. Maybe you are of the Mortalez-mindset, there's nothing wrong with that, but then wouldn't you be seeking a lady of a similar mindset to be your partner? This girl doesn't seem to be that way. Think about that.

Good luck to you truth!
 mortalez
Joined: 4/9/2005
Msg: 94
Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 9:01:47 PM

I will say this from the way you phrased the question. You do seem controlling. You say she is out with singles going to the same places WHEN SHE WAS SINGLE. Dude, SHE'S STILL SINGLE! You aren't engaged or married, are you? She's single. It's normal behavior for young women to go out in groups.

Ok then I'll phrase it for him another way SHE IS ACTING LIKE SHE DOES NOT HAVE A BOYFRIEND!!!!!

A commitment is a commitment whether verbal or legal .
Why call someone your boyfriend when you view him more as a friend with benifits ?

Now if she made it clear from the start that they were just f^ck buddies the there would be no issue , but from the jist of the ops post he and her were suposed to be exclusive , well if his girl wants to act like a tramp then she should have stay'd single errr.... without boyfriend .
It sounds like to me she views him as her fallback guy (after a night on the town she crawls back to him if nothing else comes up) .
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  >