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 tictactoe
Joined: 9/21/2005
Msg: 51
Girls Night OutPage 3 of 20    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)
The_Truth


I don't go out for a "Guys Night Out."
Maybe you should! It's normal and can be fun. As I don't drink, I'm always the DD, but that's okay. I'd rather we all get home in one piece.

I also believe the lady in my life needs to be out with her friends too. It's all about trust and how secure you are with yourself. If you're insecure, you'll be pacing the hallways till she opens the door to the house. Or , you'll be thinking the worst , when in fact there is no need for concern.


If I did go for a "Guys Night Out" I sure as shit wouldnt sleep at anyones house but mine or her's
noble when your faculties are one hundred percent responsive. But stupid to consider if drunk. I take keys away from my friends and tell them to crash at my place. It's rare that it occurs, but the best part of it is they're around the next day to **** about it.
 stillme2
Joined: 8/16/2005
Msg: 52
Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/18/2005 6:19:24 AM
I agree with YamIhere 100%. Alcohol has nothing to do with it, it's about the person you're involved with and if you don't trust her, you shouldn't be with her.


I agree with this statement 110%. All it comes down to as trust.

If someone is going to cheat they are going to do it regardless of where they are or what they are doing.

I believe its very important for couples to have outside friends and interests. I couldn't stand to be with someone 24/7.

As far as sleeping over at a friends house...come on guys, give me a break! Wouldn't you rather know that she is safe rather than driving while intoxicated???!!!

I spend the night quite often at my best friends house when we go out. She lives an hour away from me and I am certainly not going to risk my life or someone elses by getting into a car and driving when I shouldn't simply because some people have trust issues.

In fact every single person I have dated has cared enough about me to encourage me to stay there, rather than driving tired or after I have had a few martini's.
 judythecutey
Joined: 12/8/2005
Msg: 53
Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/18/2005 6:42:49 AM
Some of us sometimes go there for lunch, or join others in our crowd for a drink and dinner in the evening. That would be significantly different than my going out with “the guys” to dance, flirt and whatever. Same applies to her.

I'm not going to flame as I think everyone has a right to go for what works for them..

But how many men will complain that thier GF does not want them to go to a sports bar to watch a game with friends?..IOW when you get into a relationship,,it becomes "just you two"..you let all your friendships sit by the side of the road and wither.? That alone can sink a relationship..(Jmo)

I do go out with my friends..I am in NJ and they are in NY..sometimes I even stay at thier place because of this or they stay at my place... Sometimes whom ever I'm seeing will join in..sometimes not. We lead busy lives and get together usually once a week. It's not always a "club", we also go to dinners or a play. If it is a serious relationship, he knows where I am..
and if he stops by fine. If he has to show up every week ..There is a problem.
Two light beers in enough to be legally intoxicated for some...If I am the DD fine. If I am not and I drink, I don't drive. Any BF of mine would know this..
This has always worked for me. I'm not going to let long standing friendships slide because I have met someone. And anyone who has to have All of my time has a trust issue.
If the only way to be in a realtionship with someone is to have noone else in my life..adios..
been there, done that. Eventually he was complaining I did not get home from seeing my family on time. Most of us have cell phones..If you get a call and "you do not believe she is at Debbie's"..it's over anyway ..unless you can finda woman who will wear one of those ankle monitoring bracelets.
Ditch your friends is a HUGE red flag. JMO J
 sleepless_in_Newmarket
Joined: 7/18/2005
Msg: 54
Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/18/2005 7:07:04 AM
I got one word for you people, www.loverboysusa.com

It's all about "girls nite out"

 dbndon
Joined: 7/15/2005
Msg: 55
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Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/18/2005 8:20:29 AM
.


I'm not going to flame as I think everyone has a right to go for what works for them.


I totally agree with you. I’ll never be one to impede anyone’s fun, as long as it’s half way legal. And, it is not like I don’t know the bar scene rather well. I played in a band five nights a week in bars for a couple years. Also, I’ve been single in my adult life much longer than I have been in a relationship and can be very good at acting like a single man on the prowl when I wish.

Today, all the men I know are married. All of them, both family and friends. Many of them do not even drink anymore because we had too much “fun” when we were younger. A meeting at the bar for us guys would be more like a hamburger and a beer for lunch once or twice a year. For evening socializing, the spouse or SO comes along. The single gals (widows) in the crowd go out sometimes. But, a couple of them are rather good looking and do not wish to be hit on by stray guys all the time, so they call me to join them.

My point here is that I do not act like a single man now. There is no reason I cannot. I just do not. And, simply put, I will not be in a relationship with someone who wishes to continue acting like a single woman. I will never make any type of big deal over it, I just won’t even start dating them. Or, if I was dating someone and she started running around to bars at night, I would be gone.

As you wrote above, “everyone has a right to go for what works for them.” I totally agree. However, I also have a right to “go for” what works best for me. Today, I have a rather easy going and comfortable lifestyle and will not invite someone into my life who will complicate it with frivolous problems. Of that I am quite adamant. But, that’s just my personal choice in what works best for me.
.
 judythecutey
Joined: 12/8/2005
Msg: 56
Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/18/2005 9:32:51 AM
As you wrote above, “everyone has a right to go for what works for them.” I totally agree. However, I also have a right to “go for” what works best for me. Today, I have a rather easy going and comfortable lifestyle and will not invite someone into my life who will complicate it with frivolous problems. Of that I am quite adamant. But, that’s just my personal choice in what works best for me.
. What I meant was everybody has this right.
I happen to run from man who defines "acting like a single woman" as "spends time with friends,,,,,,other adults,,if I am there".
If I like someone, I definetly do invite them to meet my friends..but I see my friends on my own sometimes and have my own interests..I do Not consider having a friends and a life of my own "a frivolous thing"..It makes someone a well rounded person. Someone who needs to be by my side 7 nights a week and accompany me every time I leave the house, won't be by my side. If someone does not catch on..after a short time, that I am a trustworthy person. It's thier loss. I'd move on.
The idea that someone needing a life beyond you is a frivolous thing is very telling..but then I was in a relationship like that. My world got smaller and smaller. And he did not get any more secure. JMo J
 dbndon
Joined: 7/15/2005
Msg: 57
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Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/18/2005 10:06:56 AM
.
Ahem . . . the general topic, as I understood it when I joined in, had to do with frequenting the nightlife at bars and nightclubs. My reply was NOT meant to encompass anything else done with friends whatsoever, except that. It’s the bar life I call frivolous, certainly not having friends.
.
 mortalez
Joined: 4/9/2005
Msg: 58
Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/18/2005 1:17:59 PM
I guess everyone is different , I simpley dont have as much fun hanging with a bunch of dudes as I do with a girl , not the same rush.
there is nothing I can do with my friends that is as enjoyable as hanging with my girl .
 JustMyOpinion
Joined: 8/8/2005
Msg: 59
Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/18/2005 1:33:57 PM
With a blade like that who would have the nerve Jasmine?
Post 24
 Curley196
Joined: 12/7/2005
Msg: 60
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Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 12:13:30 AM
I like I say" I will call someone to let them know where I'm at". I want them to trust me. And I will come home!If you can't call someone who cares about you,why be with them? You want to be in a relationship, but can't comment? We all have our prombles, but showing a person respect.Now thats bad. I do what I want to do, ...why are you in a relationship? Ok, I'm going to leave home with the guys,come home the next day? You women would have a field day.Where have you been? Well baby,I got drunk, spelt over at my friends house. RIGHT! Who are you bull shitting? Yes a woman can go out with her friends,but show some respect to that man.Come home. The ladies say this junk,I do what I want.But get in a relationship.Your words will change.
 buccaneer38
Joined: 9/15/2005
Msg: 61
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Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 1:26:05 AM
The Truth:

I agree exactly like you do (minus one thing) ie; when you said "I wouldn't have a problem with them going out for dinner and a movie or somethhing of this kind or even if she went out dancing and drinking with several ladies who are in relationships (so long as there isn't sleeping over involved afterward)."


When you are in a committed relationship, that kind of crap has to stop, period. They should want to have fun with you and if they need these other people in their lives then she should bring them to your house and you should be a part of "whatever". She shouldn't have to say anything that you can't hear.

If a woman needs that kind of freedom, then she doesn't need to be with me for sure. Tracy (buccaneer38)
 Curley196
Joined: 12/7/2005
Msg: 62
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Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 1:28:49 AM
I can't believe that ,for nothing in the world. No one wants to lay in a house with a relationship going on,and the other doesn't come home till the next day.
 The_Truth
Joined: 11/24/2005
Msg: 63
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Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 5:05:39 AM
I saw a good point brought up.

How many of you ladies who are answering "Yes it is ok to sleep over" would throw an outright shit fit if your man went out for a night of drinking at singles bars with their single guy friends (who you know are looking to meet people/hookup) then slept over at someone’s house(sure, you TRUST them enough to belive it is the friends home they say but who knows)??????? I think quite a few of you. I'm not saying anything more about how I feel on the rest of the situation but come on people.....There is just no reason what so ever to have to sleep at anyone’s house but your own or your S/O after a night of drinking at local bars.

This to me is not a trust issue but simply a red flag of clandestine behavior.
 YamIhere
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 64
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Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 6:51:04 AM
Truth,
Let me give you an example from my own life. When I go out with my friends, no one wants to be the designated driver. So I will drive to a friend’s place, park my car and split a cab with him. At the end of the night, we split another cab back to his place and I’ll crash there to sleep it off. In the morning I can simply walk out to my car and leave. That eliminates either driving drunk or spending a lot more money on cabs to get to and from my place (my friend lives a lot closer to the best hangouts). That seems pretty freakin innocent, does it not?

BTW, dude, you said you have only been seing this woman for a short time ... just some advice, tread lightly.
 sockmonkey82
Joined: 12/14/2005
Msg: 65
Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 7:14:56 AM
As a 23 year old female, I do think girls night out is a must. Temptation is always there, but it's the same weather you're at a bar, or at a grocery store. If you're a cheater, and you're gonna act on anything, you'll do it regardless of where you're at. Sleeping over at a girlfriends house, I don't see anything wrong with that either. If I went out with the girls, got all sorts of drunk, I don't think my boyfriend would be up for picking me up at bar close (when chances are, he's with his friends) or with me driving home. And it's also important to have that bonding time with the girls. Go over to ones house, everyone gets dressed, go to dinner, go get drinks, dance, come home, eat, crash, wake up, eat breakfast and talk about the night before. That's what girls do. And if you're secure in your relationship, don't worry about what might happen. Everyone needs time away from their significant other.
 mortalez
Joined: 4/9/2005
Msg: 66
Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 7:16:33 AM

YOU would rather spend time with her than your friends. I imagine your friends feel slighted now, but the point is...


No they dont , my friends know I have certain rules I go by . like if a married friend or a friend whoes girl lives with him , is not home I dont enter the house I just say tell him to call me when he gets home .
WHY? because it is not cool in my book to be around one of my friends girlfriends/wives without them present . Not because I would try something with them but out of respect to my friend and to remove all doubt and avoid drama . You see doubt is caused by action and trust is caused by action , if you act trustworthy you will get my trust if you act in a matter that makes others believe you are still single then I feel maybe you should stay single .


No one told you that you can't go hang with your friends. No one implied or flat out said she doesn't trust that you'll be faithful if you go party with those friends.


And no one would HAVE to tell me , I know how to show respect to a partner . why get into a relationship if you want to act like your single ? When you are a couple you do couple things , go to places you know 90% of the people there are couples (every town has a few places like that). you both hang out with other couples , and when in relationship I invite my single friends to the house (I have nothing to hide) .
 Dog Mommy
Joined: 7/11/2005
Msg: 67
Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 7:31:07 AM
you are 22...that's what you are supposed to do you should be out and about dating...not involved in a serious relationship.
 judythecutey
Joined: 12/8/2005
Msg: 68
Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 9:19:37 AM
.
Ahem . . . the general topic, as I understood it when I joined in, had to do with frequenting the nightlife at bars and nightclubs. My reply was NOT meant to encompass anything else done with friends whatsoever, except that. It’s the bar life I call frivolous, certainly not having friends.

What if she just enjoys dancing with her friends?..Where would she do that? Or she likes to listen to live music?. ..It is up to you to decide what's important and what's frivoulous?
What if some of her friends are still single and ask her to join them, where they go? What's she supposed to say.."Can not really do that with you anymore..Not allowed..met someone and he is more important Though she'd know the man some short amount of time and them ten years?..You trust someone or you don't..Somoen who wants to cheat can do that anytime, anywhere...I and get to decide how to spend my free time. Cal me on my cell...Pop in..He knows where I am and he knows if he does in pops in..he's not going to find anything amiss..if he knows me at all. Like that simply red song.."if you don't know me by now"..
The thread was started by someone saying this is about someone they have not even been seeing long.
Whatever works for all involved..but it wouldn't be me. JMo J
.
 mortalez
Joined: 4/9/2005
Msg: 69
Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 9:50:31 AM

What if she just enjoys dancing with her friends?..Where would she do that? Or she likes to listen to live music?. ..It is up to you to decide what's important and what's frivoulous?
What if some of her friends are still single and ask her to join them, where they go? What's she supposed to say.."Can not really do that with you anymore..Not allowed..met someone and he is more important Though she'd know the man some short amount of time and them ten years?


So if she wants to act like she is single she should have never agreed to be with him its that simple .
he should not HAVE to tell her what to do , I would have a talk with her and if she gives me a line about its only friends and fun and such I say nothing , I just simply end it and let her live her life as she wants , I cant control any woman nor will I try , in a case like that I wont make her choose because in my mind she has made her choice . (PS: who do you think she's dancing with ? thats right other guys).


.You trust someone or you don't..Somoen who wants to cheat can do that anytime, anywhere...I and get to decide how to spend my free time. Cal me on my cell...Pop in..He knows where I am and he knows if he does in pops in..he's not going to find anything amiss..if he knows me at all. Like that simply red song.."if you don't know me by now"..


Yes you can cheat on someone anytime , but in a relationship trust is defined by actions , if you act trust worthy you are more likely to be trusted , There is a law here in texas called atractive nusance , in which you are fined for leaving your key in the car or leaving the gate to your pool unlocked , it often leads to a reduced charge if you commit a crime of opportunity because the law recognizes that some people will only commite crimes if the opportunity shows its self (meaning the guy who climbs in through an open window but would never pick a lock or break a window to get in )
Well the same goes for cheating , some people will only cheat if the temptation is there , so why go into the devils playground (bars and niteclubs)and risk the temptation ?
I want a long term relationship partly because I am burnt out on the bar scene , if I still wanted to go to clubs and such I would not be looking for a relationship because it would not be fair to the said partner .
So if a girl i was with felt the need to go out and shake her tushy , I would feel she has not gotten the single life out of her system , and being that I dont believe in changing people I'd move on even knowing it would hurt me to do so(even more than it would hurt her).
 judythecutey
Joined: 12/8/2005
Msg: 70
Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 10:21:36 AM
Hi Mortalez..
FYI.. If I am in a committed relationship, I do not dance with other men. Yep, I do go out to dance, talk, laugh and catch up with my GFs..Interesting you'd equate someone doing this with a crime..heeh not exactly the same.
As I have said before, we all have the right to search for what we thing will work for us, as individuals. I do not see being with my friends and having fun as "acting single" I plan to have friends my whole life..I think everyone should.
We are just going to have to agree to disagree. You have a right to date someone who wouldn't go to a club..and I have a right to date someone who can trust me JMO j
 crunchberries
Joined: 8/16/2005
Msg: 71
Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 10:26:29 AM
I believe that people really should be responsible enough to regulate thier drinking or choose a DD, so they dont have to spend the night places. I would question whether I wanted to be with someone who cannot regulate that. Again, I dont know if spending the night somewhere is right or wrong, but I have seen an awful lot of people who do that regularly, begin cheating at some point. So, again, I guess I just wouldnt be with someone who does that kind of thing alot. But, balance being what it is, sometimes things happen that are out of our control and I do agree that safety on the roads is the primary concern.
 crunchberries
Joined: 8/16/2005
Msg: 72
Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 10:27:16 AM
I am a mortalez fan at this point......
 YamIhere
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 73
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Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 12:35:05 PM
The bottom line of this entire thread comes down to trust and self confidence. Why even be involved with someone if you can’t trust them to control themselves?
 yep211
Joined: 7/6/2004
Msg: 74
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Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 1:08:16 PM
If a girl is going out, it's obviously to cheat on you.
you should tell her to stop, make a big smothering attempt at being controlling, and send her my way when she leaves you.

p.s. why the hell are you worried what she does on girls night out?
you should be preoccupied with poker night with your boys.
 mortalez
Joined: 4/9/2005
Msg: 75
Girls Night Out
Posted: 12/19/2005 1:17:04 PM

p.s. why the hell are you worried what she does on girls night out?
you should be preoccupied with poker night with your boys.


hhhmmmm choice ..... spending an evening with my girl , or spending a nite playing card with a bounch of guys ? which is more plesurable ? hhhmmmmmm
girl .... boyz ..... hhhmmmm

The choice is easy for me . I'd rather be with my girl more plessurable .
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