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 xdelray
Joined: 2/3/2008
Msg: 418
18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?Page 14 of 23    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)
what do i think?...i think all you puritanical, narrow-minded, conditioned/brainwashed, life-style facist mf's need to stop wasting your time on here making judgement calls on other people's lives....you're probably just jealous or suffering from cultural dogma overload.....the size of your little pea-brains would make me puke if i hadn't already realized a place of perspective high above your swelling cesspool of hystreria and sub-intellectual OMG comments......if the human race doesn't kill itself off first, the future will see you as the life experience-restrictive idiots you are....go stick your head in a hole (prererably your own) so it won't bother you as much.....thank you for your time.......
 Cantankerous_Hermit
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 419
18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/18/2008 7:16:35 AM
Maybe she has "daddy issues". I would like some of that. Refer her to me. Seriously, I doubt it would work due to maturity and life experience differences.
 ommnibox
Joined: 5/6/2006
Msg: 420
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18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/18/2008 10:14:15 AM
can't control who you love. i think it just is what it is. and to judge them on a preconceived idea based on what society thinks a proper relationship should be is wrong. Within reason i mean. she's 18, and adult. she is fully aware of what she is getting herself into. so meh, no big deal.
 ManeRider
Joined: 5/22/2005
Msg: 422
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18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/18/2008 11:19:35 AM
Chelsea lou, I'll refer you to post 452, xdelray. If you don't get that the world (outside the US) isn't as closed-minded as the western world has become, well, you're entitled to your opinions, however antiquated those opinions may be. Go see what life is like in Costa Rica, for instance. Try Greece, and sale that bag of goods there if you can. People around the world have some semblance of right/wrong and age is just not a factor for them, nor is a 20 yr span of age innapropriate in a relationship.
Ask Harrison Ford, Robert Palmer, Tom Cruise, etc. ..... no wait.... ask their wives.... if the age barrier you hold so dearly is actually a hinderance to their having a successful relationship. You would surely find your presumptions to be outdated and void of any factual basis.
And based on the divorce rates of late, it isn't looking good for the 'mainstreamers' of life who hold onto those old, distant virtues.
 nycdoctor
Joined: 8/2/2005
Msg: 424
18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/18/2008 1:07:07 PM
good for him...she must have good PY...since most woman dont know how to use their
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 425
18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/18/2008 1:26:49 PM
Chelsea lou, I'll refer you to post 452, xdelray. If you don't get that the world (outside the US) isn't as closed-minded as the western world has become, well, you're entitled to your opinions, however antiquated those opinions may be. Go see what life is like in Costa Rica, for instance. Try Greece, and sale that bag of goods there if you can. People around the world have some semblance of right/wrong and age is just not a factor for them, nor is a 20 yr span of age innapropriate in a relationship.
Ask Harrison Ford, Robert Palmer, Tom Cruise, etc. ..... no wait.... ask their wives....

Or she could ask me, someone who isn't dating a multi-media-man, multi-millionaire, multi-many-things person. Age matters to some of us and for very good reasons. Not shallow reasons, reasons that come with tried/true experience. It may not matter to some at the time they "fall in love" but with divorce rates at 51%, it's highly unlikely that 49% of these marriages that survive are soley comprised of vast-age-different couples. I guess the argument could be made that since 51% are likely to fail anyway, go for it. OK, I'd agree with that. I still wouldn't do it myself ~ him 22 me 44 or him 66 and me 44. That just makes my skin crawl on both accounts.
 ManeRider
Joined: 5/22/2005
Msg: 426
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18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/18/2008 1:41:42 PM
VGE,


Or she could ask me, someone who isn't dating a multi-media-man, multi-millionaire, multi-many-things person. Age matters to some of us and for very good reasons. Not shallow reasons, reasons that come with tried/true experience

I'll add to that list George Clooney..The only reason I use those couples as reference are because they're the most notable, the people we ALL know of.
SO, your thoughts are that money is the defining factor, and therefore, ok? Most of the wives/GF's of those celebrities are well endowed with money already; i.e.; they're already actresses/models. So, it isn't like the money is much of an issue.
And my point regarding the divorce rate had no bearing on age, per se, except that the mainstreamers... those who preach how we should only find love within a few years of our own,-have not got the stats to show evidence of success. IOW's, the stats for divorce are largely based on conventional marriages, not those with vastly different ages. IF you were to calculate the stats for marriages of only those vastly different age gaps, my premonitions are that a greater number of those are solid relationships and enjoy better percentages of lasting relationships. Just my observations.

my last 2 GF's, each of 1.5 yrs time length, are still under the age of 30, and I've been single 2 yrs. I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm opposed to dating/marrying someone my age, but the women who would fit the bill are few and far between.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 427
18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/18/2008 3:23:52 PM
IOW's, the stats for divorce are largely based on conventional marriages, not those with vastly different ages. IF you were to calculate the stats for marriages of only those vastly different age gaps, my premonitions are that a greater number of those are solid relationships and enjoy better percentages of lasting relationships. Just my observations.

And my prediction would be just the opposite. Women seem to change drastically between the ages of 30-40 and men seem to drastically change between 40-50. Hence, in this instance, the young lady of this topic, will be a drastically different human being by age 30 and he'll be old, like we are. Like it or not ~ that's a fact.

I'm not certain how you gained a perspective that I was speaking of money, I certainly was not. I'm quite well aware that those people all married their peers financially. Well, except Clooney ~ he's not married, he was for a mere three years (back in 1984) to a much younger model, they divorced.


my last 2 GF's, each of 1.5 yrs time length, are still under the age of 30, and I've been single 2 yrs. I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm opposed to dating/marrying someone my age, but the women who would fit the bill are few and far between.

Well, that's wonderful. I personally don't consider 1 1/2 years very long term, but hey, we all view our relationships as we choose. My former of many years was 9 years younger ~ there were no issues, BUT, I wasn't 40 yet. Today, I'm very aware of time-zones and relationships. In addition, I couldn't agree more, the men who are age-appropriate for me (-4 or +4 years) possess the traits I find valuable, are indeed, rare ~~~ but soooo worth the wait and I so won't settle. Happy posting.
 CLASSIELAD777
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 435
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18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/18/2008 8:38:11 PM
I am 70 and I see 2 ladies... One is 50 and one is 48... we get along fine, but the problem I have encountered is..... WE CAN"T RELATE!!!!! I also saw a lady who is 68... We laughed, joked, had a wonderful time as we could talk about Hopalong, Roy, Gene, the Shadow, Etc.... She even knew what a DIPPY EGG is.... And fixed me a great one too... Sadly the relationship has quited down due to 1838 miles between Florida and Montana ( If anybody knows a pretty NATIVE AMERICAN PRINCESS.... Call me!!! )... Really I don't think I could hndle a 40 year old!!!! Bob
 ManeRider
Joined: 5/22/2005
Msg: 436
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18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/19/2008 7:38:03 AM
One more thing VGE

I personally don't consider 1 1/2 years very long term, but hey, we all view our relationships as we choose. My former of many years was 9 years younger ~ there were no issues, BUT, I wasn't 40 yet. Today, I'm very aware of time-zones and relationships. In addition, I couldn't agree more, the men who are age-appropriate for me (-4 or +4 years) possess the traits I find valuable, are indeed, rare ~~~

Im uncertain if the 9 yr relationship you had involved marriage or not, but if not, that's an awful long time to consider marriage. I would think within 1-1.5 yrs, one would have enough knowledge of another person to know if marriage was right, which is basically why I ended my relationships at that time. Some people are seeking indefinate LTR's. I'm not, so after a yr and a half, if it wasn't everything I sought, or if problems were incured, well, that's the point at which I came to the realization that it just didnt' work. Age really wasn't a factor, but rather, personality/characteristics that developed over time, the same characteristics that can be applied to anyone of any age. And furthermore, I"m unclear how someones traits are so well defined to rest squarely within a +-4 yr time frame. I fail to agree that age is such a determinant. It rest solely on the individual and people can exude differing levels of character at every age on the continuum . Some people seem to view LTR's differently, and if Im with someone over a year, it's generally time to consider marriage. Otherwise, it becomes a protracted dating experience, and after 2 yrs, either 2 people are ready to tie the knot, or decide to move on. To me, anything over that conjurs thoughts of committment phobe; i.e; why not just get married? I wouldn't think it would take 9 yrs to decide, if in fact you were not married. That's just my take, and I thought I'd clarify.

(chelsea lou) First of all , the older man and young woman relationship is out dated
Your point being, you're not capable of having such, which is fine by all. Outdated? Once again, check with other countries and sell that bag of goods there. Because your hardwired to think otherwise doesn't make a concept outdated.

All I have to say now is a 20 year age span is inappropriate for ME!
So, you don't need to even consider such. Interestingly, though, does your age, now , place you in the "old goat" category you classified those older men in before? LOL
I rest my case.
 ManeRider
Joined: 5/22/2005
Msg: 441
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18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/19/2008 11:22:42 AM
It wasn't their age it was their actions. I don't come on to young boys

Yet again, to them, and their culture, they may see nothing inappropriate. I personally do think 14 & 17 are wayyyy to young for anything, and for many young women, I'd say likewise. It's on the person in question, and it might be a little judgemental to say their actions were otherwise indecent. For me, yeah.


Yet another feeble attempt to slam me.

Just pointing out a bit of irony. laUgH
Life isnt' meant to be so serious.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 448
18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 7/19/2008 5:09:24 PM
Im uncertain if the 9 yr relationship you had involved marriage or not, but if not, that's an awful long time to consider marriage.

MR ~ you clearly misunderstood, I stated that my last ltr was with someone 9 years younger and yes, it was marriage. However, since I don't plan on EVER marrying again, there won't be marriage-comtemplation anytime for any amount of time. So I suppose if you find that an awfully long time to consider marriage ~ so be it. I know many who have contemplated marriage for much longer than 9 years. Some people don't find the need, don't see it's value nor are interested in the Americanized version of what marriage means or does not mean. Personally, I make it clear from the onset of anything ~ marriage is not happening in the remainder of my lifetime. There is no need, been there ~ done that ~ don't need to do it again.

I"m unclear how someones traits are so well defined to rest squarely within a +-4 yr time frame.

You very well may be unclear, I am not. Have tried years in either direction and I do best with someone from my very own time-zone. So, that's where I stick and there is no varying from that. Personal preferences that I don't feel needs validation, explanation or banter about. I would assume ~ that you're preferences may work for you ~ they wouldn't be an option for me. The glory of knowing who we are ~ you are entitled to view it as you wish and so am I!! Happy posting.
 Patrick320
Joined: 4/20/2008
Msg: 453
18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 8/19/2008 11:37:16 AM
Any marriage can work but it takes 2 to happen. I have a friend that has been married to a younger wife for 26 years. She is now 46.

They are much happier than couples I have seen close to each others age. Most marriages don't work because one of the 2 don't want it to. Or gives up. Or thinks the grass is much greener on the other side like my ex did. She found out it wasn't too. Wants me to take her back. LOL! After all the pain she put me thru there is nothing left.

So I am moving on. And thats the problem with most of the women I have met on here. They can't move on and put the past behind them. I have so many issues from previous relationships they can't seem to start over and fresh.
 Patrick320
Joined: 4/20/2008
Msg: 454
18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 8/19/2008 11:41:20 AM
I can't blame a 40 year old man for looking for a young wife.

At least he can find one that isn't emotionally battle scarred. Most women my age cannot keep up with my schedule and active life anyway. So a younger woman does sound good. They at least care what they look like!
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 457
18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 8/19/2008 12:06:00 PM

I can't blame a 40 year old man for looking for a young wife.

I completely agree. I can't blame a 40 year old woman for looking for a young husband either.
 tick tock
Joined: 7/30/2006
Msg: 473
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18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 9/18/2008 9:42:24 AM
Or maybe...just maybe...he is an awesome guy with tons of wisdom and a personality that could charm the panties off of anyone. OMG, perish the thought!! Sorry, that might be a little too much for most people's black-n-white view of the world. You're right, it must be about financial security and nothing else.
 WanderingRain
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 498
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18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 9/19/2008 11:19:40 PM
Hey, hope it works. AT least there's two people who AREN'T going to be on PoF for a while... :)
 Pokeysrevenge
Joined: 8/26/2008
Msg: 505
18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 9/20/2008 4:27:27 PM
I was engaged to a 35 year old when I was 19. We had dated since I was a week shy of 17. We ended up not working out, but we're still best friends.

I've always dated older men. (Daddy complex, anyone?)





Age is what you make of it. If you choose to make a big deal out of it, it will be a big deal.
 Pokeysrevenge
Joined: 8/26/2008
Msg: 513
18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 9/20/2008 10:31:13 PM
Thank you. He's leaving for Iraq for seven months on Monday. I will tell him :)
 bcsofnc57
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 515
18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 9/21/2008 8:56:43 PM

The same would go in reverse for the 40 year old woman to marry a 18 or 14 year old boy in your scenario.

Of course it would. Any 40 year old wanting to marry an 18 year old has serious problems. Dating/marrying younger is fine as long as you are both adults in every way. Not just because the government has decided that 18 is the magic number of adulthood. If it were for example a 30 year old and a 52 year old got married it would be fine, as both would be adults.
 bcsofnc57
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 517
18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 9/22/2008 7:50:30 AM
Of course it worked for Anna Nicole as all she wanted was money. Why would she care about the age of the man? check book?
 GoneSailinBabe
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 518
18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 9/22/2008 7:55:49 AM

First of all I told her does the teenager have brain damage. What on earth would an 18 year old see in a 40 year old man.


Better damn question would be

What does a 40 year old man want with an 18 year old?
Daughter?
Perversion?

Creep?
Ick.


And yeah, I'm being judgemental - I get that.
 bcsofnc57
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 522
18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man?
Posted: 9/22/2008 1:50:14 PM
Renaissance Man 1950: I don't see anything wrong with an older man with a younger woman or an older woman with a younger man, as long as both are adults in all ways. I do fully understand that at 18 one is an adult in the eyes of the law, but do you really think an 18 year old is truly an adult in all ways and ready to marry anyone? It isn't the 22 years between the 18 year old and the 40 year old that bothers me, it is the stage of life that each is at. Perhaps in times past when life was a lot more simple, it wouldn't have mattered so much. If the woman was 30 and the man was 52 I wouldn't give it the first thought as both are adults. If it was a 30 year old man and a 52 year old woman I wouldn't give it a thought as they are both adults.

Maybe women should start doing this too as we all know that once men hit 40 they are fat, bitter, and can stand at attention only with the aid of a pill. Not serious but this seems to be why a lot of men want younger women.

I wonder how a lot of you men that think this is fine would like it if a 40 year old man started dating your daughter?


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