Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Jonathan Doeman
Joined: 5/18/2007
Msg: 51
Short MenPage 2 of 18    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)

That's because at 5'7 you are really not in the short guy range. Most women are actually shorter then you are . I believe the average woman is only around 5'4. While you are "shorter" in comparison to someone 6'4 ,your height is about average for a man.


No. He's short. Average male height in the United States is somewhere between 5'8" and 5'10". Women don't seem to be looking for guys who are merely taller than the average woman. If that were the case, this would be a complete non-issue.

 Jonathan Doeman
Joined: 5/18/2007
Msg: 56
Short Men
Posted: 12/13/2008 3:46:25 PM
Such hypocrites.


^^^^^

Why would this make women hypocrites? Wouldn't this make them consistent? Women are apparently looking to height for the same thing that money can give them. A rich man gives her much more "protection" than a tall man. If women are seeking "protection", "power", "status", and other things that male height apparently represents in our society, then it only makes sense that money can be substituted for height because money also brings protection, power, and status. In fact, money brings REAL protection, power, and status while male height is merely symbolic.

In fact, I'd say that a woman with a money requirement is LESS shallow than a woman with a height requirement. Such women are seeking the same underlying shallow feelings...but at least men can earn money through their behavior...height is something that is set and cannot be acquired.

 Jonathan Doeman
Joined: 5/18/2007
Msg: 62
Short Men
Posted: 12/13/2008 11:23:26 PM

Oh, yeah, that reminds me. I don't reject women because they are ugly. No. That would be shallow. One can't be shallow. Or admit to it. No, I reject them on account of their attitude, which is whatever I say it is. Convenient, no?


LOL,

Yeah...It's pretty progressive of her to reject short men because of their sour attitudes, instead of their height.

Check out message number 47.

This is another version of the "height paradox" that I was trying to explain in that post. Here is the post:


5) The height paradox.
-Being a short man causes automatic rejection from the vast majority of woman. Lying about ones height causes automatic rejection from many women, but it also gives them an easy excuse for the rejection (it's the lie and not the height). This sort of paradox would upset any red blooded guy.
 _jay_see_
Joined: 11/24/2007
Msg: 63
Short Men
Posted: 12/14/2008 2:52:23 AM
Height isn't such a big deal if the guy is popular or has a magnetic personality. Tom Cruise is shorter than me, but he's nailed thousands of girls and I haven't nailed one (without paying).
 BrokenMemories
Joined: 4/1/2008
Msg: 67
Short Men
Posted: 12/14/2008 7:36:49 AM
I am currently dating a guy shorter than myself. He's only maybe 2 inches shorter but it was still hard for me to go out with him at first because of it. But I am so smitten with him now!

Woman like to feel secure with their guy. It's also been drilled into us that the man should always be taller..but if she really likes you, she will get over it.
 Jonathan Doeman
Joined: 5/18/2007
Msg: 70
Short Men
Posted: 12/14/2008 3:02:04 PM

I see successful short men in real life with no problem finding girlfriends. It's the unsuccessful short and tall men that complain about not getting dates. A short guy suddenly being tall would find out fast that height wasn't the only thing holding him back with the ladies.


A comforting thought...but research points otherwise. I haven't seen a single crumb of empirical or even anecdotal evidence which suggest what you say is true. It's true that "successful" (read: rich) short men can do just as well as tall men, but this takes a LOT of money. An article in the science section of the New York Times claimed that a 5'6" man would have to make $300,000 more PER YEAR than a 6'0" man to expect the same amount of attention from women.

You might be right that a short guy who suddenly became tall would find out that he has other handicaps...but being short (as far as most women is concerned) is enough.

Plus, plenty of unsuccessful tall men get tons of women. Any guy can see that.

 Jonathan Doeman
Joined: 5/18/2007
Msg: 76
Short Men
Posted: 12/14/2008 8:46:58 PM

Short guys are always watching their back and their girl at all times, questioning her every move. Who would want to live with that insecurity?


Stereotype much?

From what I've seen, there are many types of guys. Some guys are controlling, other guys are relaxed...some guys are aggressive, and other guys are laid back. It usually has nothing to do with height. It's just that a relaxed short guy is thought of as nebbish while a relaxed tall guy is thought of as confident. Likewise, an aggressive short guy is thought to have a Napoleon Complex while an aggressive tall guy is thought to be an Alpha Male.

It sounds like you've fallen for the stereotype myths too. What do you have against short dudes?

 tallyover
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 80
Short Men
Posted: 12/15/2008 3:39:31 AM
It's not that I'm insecure about my height. Iit's just hard to feel feminine when I'm towering over the guy. A few inches shorter isn't a problem.
 _jay_see_
Joined: 11/24/2007
Msg: 81
Short Men
Posted: 12/15/2008 4:25:25 AM
^^^ Perhaps if you didn't view the act of making love as "nailing it", you'd have a lot more success. Just a thought ...


Women use sex to get with the most popular/powerful guy that will want them, and deny it from anyone else.

That's not love, that's sexual selection.

That's why guys like me fail every single time. We're not crowd pleasers and fail at our best attempts to be that.

As another female poster said, tallness in the personality sense matters more than physical tallness. A guy who's good at seducing and tricking women will always be better off than a guy with supposedly "superior" physical height.
 Jonathan Doeman
Joined: 5/18/2007
Msg: 83
Short Men
Posted: 12/15/2008 1:51:34 PM

It's not that I'm insecure about my height. It's just hard to feel feminine when I'm towering over the guy.


But isn't that the definition of insecurity? Wouldn't a self-assured/confident woman feel feminine by the fact that she is a woman. Height doesn't come into it at all. I don't feel "less masculine" because there is a tall woman nearby.

Just my opinion.

 chuckyB51
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 85
view profile
History
Short Men
Posted: 12/15/2008 10:31:03 PM
Finally a woman who admits that her femininity doesn't come from within but from outside forces.
 djscretefun
Joined: 12/7/2008
Msg: 88
Short Men
Posted: 12/16/2008 12:07:50 AM
No HUGE biggie, however I at 5'5" love my men at least 2" taller than I, so it's a matter of preference!
 tallyover
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 89
Short Men
Posted: 12/16/2008 1:27:01 AM
My first love was 2 inches shorter than I. Height was never an issue, even when I grew another inch taller during the time we were together.

Online dating gives us the chance to list our preferences.

There's not much that those of us on either end of the height spectrum can do about it.
 kb7iuj
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 91
Short Men
Posted: 12/17/2008 7:47:26 PM
I admit, I peeked at greenjellocup's profile, just to see if I had a chance. I don't meet the minimum requirement. :frustrated:

That said, I also note she's fairly young. Perhaps as she ages a bit, her attitudes might change. I know that when I was a decade younger, I had a different outlook.
 chuckyB51
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 92
view profile
History
Short Men
Posted: 12/17/2008 9:19:55 PM
For women Preference = Requirement.

For men Preference = Preference.

If a woman says that she wants tall, dark and handsome it is called preference or physical attraction. If a man says that he wants skinny, big boobs and blond he is called a superficial pig.

It seems that men may no longer be the superficial species since women have passed up the guys.
 chuckyB51
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 97
view profile
History
Short Men
Posted: 12/18/2008 11:44:24 PM
I encourage you to go to the mall one weekend and look around at the couples. Tell me how many overweight women you see in relationships and then tell me how many couples you see that the man is shorter. I think we will find here that women are more superficial. You will find more men today looking beyond the physical.

For the few non-superficial women out there...Please don't change who you are.
 chuckyB51
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 106
view profile
History
Short Men
Posted: 12/19/2008 8:54:23 PM
^^^
Atleast someone understood my point.
 chuckyB51
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 111
view profile
History
Short Men
Posted: 12/20/2008 10:13:21 AM
Sorry to burst your bubble ladies, but there is no Napoleon Complex. Three scientific research studies have proven this. Studies have actually shown that taller men have more of a Napoleon Complex than shorter men. The problem is that when a tall guy exhibits the characteristics of a Napoleon Complex, women see it as being manly or the alpha male that will protect her. But when a shorter male exhibits these same characteristics he is pegged with the Napoleon Complex, that he is making up for something.

It’s funny that you will never hear a woman say, "I was dating a tall guy and he didn't treat me well and was a total jerk so all tall guys must be that way and I am never dating a tall guy again." Never heard or read that one before. Yet you will hear women say this of shorter men all the time. She'll say, "He had a Napoleon Complex and was controlling so all shorter men must be this way and I am never dating a shorter male ever again." This would be like a man saying, “All blonds are stupid because I dated one who was.”
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 112
view profile
History
Short Men
Posted: 12/20/2008 11:06:16 AM
Some women might consdier me short at 5'9, but other than that, there's not average about me. So if women judge me just by my height, then they would be missing out on a lot more above "average" stuff I have to offer.
 chuckyB51
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 116
view profile
History
Short Men
Posted: 12/20/2008 3:25:41 PM
Once again there is no such thing as a Napolean Complex
"The Napoleon Complex" - Short Men Are More Aggressive - Fact Or Fiction?
Published May 12, 2007, by Pamela Jean

Due to their small stature, combined with aggressive and hostile behaviors, a resulting belief that "short men" have anger issues has permeated society for centuries. In fact, studies have shown that nearly 80% of the population believe that short men have a complex that results in such tyrannical actions.

But now the so-called Napoleon Complex or Short Man Syndrome - which states that small men are angry - has been put to the test by scientists who have established that, on average, it is tall men who are more likely to become the aggressor in conflicts. The study was done by the University of Central Lancashire.
 Jonathan Doeman
Joined: 5/18/2007
Msg: 120
Short Men
Posted: 12/20/2008 7:02:16 PM

I would say that after reading and participating in so many short guy threads in the three years I have been on here that short guys have a great deal of anger and inferiority issues. Then again that's just my opinion based on what I have seen and experienced. See what I mean? These studies are based on nothing more then the observations , opinions and speculations by the people doing the study. There are no undeniable scientific facts that say napoleon complex does not exist and there are also none that can claim that it does exist. It's all speculation and opinions.


This sort of logic only flies with disfavored groups who have yet to "unify". This sort of thing (imputing behavior to people who have a trait that people don't like) was done do gay people too, until there was a gay rights movement and they unified. I guess, until short guys decide to fight the prejudice, this type of faulty logic will continue to stick.

The idea is that short guys are discriminated against and so they are angry at the world. And this anger causes them to treat others badly. And treating others badly is what justifies the discrimination. Do you see how absurd that is?

Chucky is right. There have been multiple studies (done at Universities) about this subject. The "Napoleon Complex" is a social myth, not a psychological occurrence. I've met lot's of aggressive tall men, but I've never heard anyone say that they are "compensating" for something or that they had an "inferiority complex". Why do you assume that a short guy thinks of himself as inferior, simply because you or others do?

 Jonathan Doeman
Joined: 5/18/2007
Msg: 121
Short Men
Posted: 12/20/2008 7:05:03 PM

"I encourage you to go to the mall one weekend and look around at the couples. Tell me how many overweight women you see in relationships and then tell me how many couples you see that the man is shorter. I think we will find here that women are more superficial. You will find more men today looking beyond the physical."


This arguement holds no water men on average are bigger then women.

no offense chuck, but your posts are starting to become whiney even for my tastes.


Well, I got what Chucky was trying to say.

Plus, if men are usually bigger than women, then we shouldn't see so many couples where the woman is fatter than the male?...correct?

So, because men are usually (on average) bigger than woman, you could go to a mall and see how many men are with fatter women versus women with shorter men. I think you'll find that women are more shallow when it comes to body shape/size.

 Jonathan Doeman
Joined: 5/18/2007
Msg: 123
Short Men
Posted: 12/20/2008 7:50:45 PM
^^^^

This just isn't true.

You are still very young...let's see what you say a decade from now. Overlooking shallow characteristics that have nothing to do with long-term relationships is not "settling". Being pragmatic is not "settling". Looking for a great person, instead of a great lay is not "settling".

I think you'll come to see this with time (as your age reduces the pool of men you could attract). It happens to all women.

Also...the weight vs height thing is a good analogy because men seem to dislike very fat women like women dislike short men. So we can sort of gauge the shallowness of our respective genders by seeing how many men are willing to date fat women compared with how many women are willing to date shorter men.


 totum_spirit
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 125
Short Men
Posted: 12/20/2008 8:38:06 PM
Short men??? OK lets re-frame this idea. If you think it is a problem...then it is. If you think women do not like short men...then they don't. If you think people hate you because you are short...then they do!

Anything you think bad about yourself you are making it that way. It shows up in your own confidence. If you have confidence that you are the prize...that you are a wonderful man for any woman...that you are worthy of the title..MAN...then everyone will pick up on that. Not all women will like you ...big damn deal...there are more than you can count of single women that are looking for someone like you...if you think you are worth it!

Look to nature great example is the Badger. I have seen many movies in the wild that the badger is busy digging a den or digging for food. A Big ass bear walks in and thinks "easy meal here" until he gets to close. As small as the badger is he will rip the face off that bear. He will turn around and attack the bear...it won't be long before the bear will walk away and the Badger just keeps on doing what he was doing before the bear showed up.

Small packages can be more than a handful. Just get rid of the idea women do not like you just because you are short. I like the idea that I do not have to duck my head when I walk through a door! The other idea of a woman that says she loves to be on her toes when kissing then be the best at kissing and make her knees weak...that is more important than your size.
 Jonathan Doeman
Joined: 5/18/2007
Msg: 126
Short Men
Posted: 12/20/2008 8:38:25 PM

Selective reading and then going off into a rant over a few words read here and there will not help your cause to appear intelligent jonathan. You obviously missed the part where I said no scientific studies can prove that napoleon syndrome does not exist. I also said, and I will put it in caps to help you out, that "NO SCIENTIFIC STUDIES PROVE THAT NAPOLEAN SYNDROME DOES EXIST". Read the entire post next time.


A negative cannot be disproven. A scientific study does not strive to prove that something doesn't exist. It simply tries to determine whether something exists. All of the scientific studies done on the subject show that there is no evidence that a Napoleon Complex exists in real life. The burden is on those who believe the myth to prove that it exists.

To use your logic - there has been no scientific study which has been able to prove that Santa Claus does not exist. So this must mean that Santa Claus exists.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  >