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 yorfriend4life
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 345
Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find? Page 19 of 23    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)
Be selective -
eyes opened--
ears opened---
watch for the flags --

and ya
check out the Canadian Gals --there are some nice ones for sure.
Ive spoke and chatted with quite a few men from the states and they all seem to say the same things -
""""Those Candian women are great Sooooooo????

Road Trip ??
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 346
Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 5/14/2011 3:09:14 PM


It's an eye opener....and you'll soon realize that nice doesn't equal good! In many cases "nice guys" are passive aggressive manipulators.

Note to self: Make sure to slap the next one around, and cheat as much as possible.


You miss the point - its not to be a lying cheating jerk, its about having the "balls" (confidence) to be yourself and not be a whimpy passive-agressive manipulator. The "nice guy" is a doormat, someone who doesn't have a good sense of "self" and thus resorts to "sucking up" to her needs to appease her and keep "the relationship". Both are about wanting "control" of the relationship, just from polar opposite directions.

A confident good person doesn't need to be "in control" - a healthy relationship is a constant state of flux, not that each can't "allow" the other to take control at times, but its a give and take, back and forth, a gray scale not the black and white of the extremes.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 347
Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 5/14/2011 3:18:04 PM
^^^^^ So true! I love how "some" people react in an extreme manner out of ignorance.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 348
Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 5/14/2011 10:24:51 PM
http://youtu.be/Yn3YqoRDTQo

passport -> visa -> plane ticket -> dictionary -> done.
or you could keep doing what you have been doing, but expect similar results, and your ever historic success.
 UnixGrand
Joined: 5/9/2011
Msg: 349
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Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 5/15/2011 4:20:43 PM
This goes back to primal man and woman. It seems to men that the worse you treat a woman, the more she will love you. This is not true. Each woman is different. Some are Aggressive(dominant), some are middle of the road, and some are non-aggressive (submissive). This is where the chemistry comes in. It's how you are matched up to each others DNA imprint that counts. It's not about how much money you have, or how many houses you own, or how much money you make. Unless the women is into deceit, deception, and dishonesty. If she wants a real relationship, she will know what she wants.

I know what I want, and I know what I'm looking for. Do you?
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 350
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Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 6/6/2011 11:00:26 AM
me, i would be happy to find one, even an indecent one lol
 Huggyo99
Joined: 12/23/2010
Msg: 351
Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 6/15/2011 2:29:26 PM
Woman are like parking spaces. All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.
It's true. Every woman I know that is friendly and nice and isn't rude, is married.
Every woman on these dating sites is unfathomably picky and shallow that's why they are still single at 25, 30, 40 years old. I know I'm only single because of womans pickyness.

I've been rejected just because I dont make over $50,000
another rejected me only because I dont have a bachelors degree
another actually rejected me because I expressed an oppinion once in a wile ( can you believe that?) and i'm not talking a political, religious or moral oppinion.
and still another rejected me because I live a too far way (16 miles) I have a car.

These are just the one's who had a reason ( if you want to call them reasonable)
each one was a separate excuse. They all didn't agree on the same reason. If I'm so undatable then why dont they tell me the real reason if they have one that makes sence?
 Huggyo99
Joined: 12/23/2010
Msg: 352
Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 6/15/2011 2:41:10 PM
who said anything about one girl rejected them for being too nice? People dont come to a conclusion based on one or a few experience. This is based on most, or all experiences. We guys see jerks being successfull with woman all the time wile nice guys get treated like shit. Woman dont even treat us like we have feeling. They use us until they find out we are to smart to be taken advantage of,then dump us. When we ask why they give us a phoney excuse or no excuse, then to make matters worse they wish us luck.
Saying woman dont complain and just move on (like your better then us) is easy for you to say. Woman dont spend hundreds of dollars it cost to date someone. Even if we go on a cheap date, gas isnt cheap. and if you gave a believable and logical explanation for not being interested then it would be tolorable. One girl told me she wasn't interested because I didn't have a BS degree. Beside that being a shallow and illogical excuse she could have easily read that on my profile before going out with me.
 UnixGrand
Joined: 5/9/2011
Msg: 353
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Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 6/15/2011 4:51:10 PM

I've been rejected just because I dont make over $50,000
another rejected me only because I dont have a bachelors degree


All I can say is there's a key that fits a lock. One day it will find you when you least expect it.
 Bookbelle
Joined: 10/24/2008
Msg: 354
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Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 6/16/2011 7:13:50 AM

who said anything about one girl rejected them for being too nice? People dont come to a conclusion based on one or a few experience. This is based on most, or all experiences. We guys see jerks being successfull with woman all the time wile nice guys get treated like shit. Woman dont even treat us like we have feeling. They use us until they find out we are to smart to be taken advantage of,then dump us. When we ask why they give us a phoney excuse or no excuse, then to make matters worse they wish us luck.
Saying woman dont complain and just move on (like your better then us) is easy for you to say. Woman dont spend hundreds of dollars it cost to date someone. Even if we go on a cheap date, gas isnt cheap. and if you gave a believable and logical explanation for not being interested then it would be tolorable. One girl told me she wasn't interested because I didn't have a BS degree. Beside that being a shallow and illogical excuse she could have easily read that on my profile before going out with me.


.... whine whine whine blah blah blah.

"... who said anything about one girl rejected for being too nice?"
Oh for goodness sake. So more than one girl has rejected you. MAN UP. Everyone gets rejected in life. I've been rejected by loads of guys, doesn't mean I sit around whining/crying about it. Rejection is a part of life. Girls don't reject you for being "too nice". The world does not owe you a relationship just because you think you're a "nice guy". It is possible that these girls reject you because they're simply not attracted to you, for any number of reasons.

"...based on one or a few experiences."
No... these are all YOUR experiences. Don't try and project them onto everyone.

"We see jerks being successful with women all the time..."
Newsflash: not every guy who has success with girls is a jerk. We DO actually date nice guys, and form relationships with them. Just because that particular "nice guy" isn't YOU, doesn't mean we don't date them. We just prefer the ones who don't spend all their time whining that no girls will date them etc.

"They use us... then dump us."
I'll let you in on a secret I found last year: people can only use you as long as you ALLOW them to. YOU are the common denominator here. YOU obviously need to change the women you date.

"Women don't spend hundreds of dollars it costs to date someone."

Again, this is YOUR experience. Please refrain from the sweeping generalisations. So, the women YOU'VE dated haven't spent money on the dates. That doesn't mean no woman in the history of the world has ever paid for a date.
If dating is costing you *that* much, you need to find cheaper alternatives to dinner etc, especially early on before you really know someone. Added to which, don't buy them dinner etc expecting to get anything out of it except their company for the duration of the meal. If YOU choose to pay for expensive dates, that is YOUR choice... it's not an obligation. It does not mean they *owe* you anything.

"...if you gave a believable and logical explanation for not being interested then it would be tolorable."
Why does their explanation *have* to be "believable" or "logical"? Again, let me reiterate: you are not OWED anything. Not a date, not a relationship, not an explanation. Some women will just not be interested in you. There will not always be an "explanation"... if the attraction isn't there, it isn't there.

Also, please see my earlier post in this thread (it's on the same page as yours). There I have listed reasons why some girls don't date SELF APPOINTED "nice guys".

Now, please man up and quit whining.
 renhoek927
Joined: 7/9/2007
Msg: 355
Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 6/16/2011 12:11:17 PM
Every one wants what they cant have.
Women want to train the bad boy into being what they want
Men want the bad girl that they can teach them what they realy want.
Guys want to play Capt save a ho.
Ho's dont want to be saved
Yes we are all scewed up.
Thats why we need sites like this, it just aint easy
But we can have fun along the way
 UnixGrand
Joined: 5/9/2011
Msg: 356
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Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 6/16/2011 12:45:09 PM

Every one wants what they cant have.
Women want to train the bad boy into being what they want
Men want the bad girl that they can teach them what they realy want.
Guys want to play Capt save a ho.
Ho's dont want to be saved
Yes we are all scewed up.
Thats why we need sites like this, it just aint easy
But we can have fun along the way


How True.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 357
Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 6/16/2011 12:50:09 PM
There are a lot of decent people on this site.
There are a lot of decent people IRL as well.
If one is constantly attracting someone who
isn't "decent", at some point one would have
to conclude it's not them...it must be me.

I've yet to see a guy with his stuff together
come whinning to these threads that they can't
find someone "decent".
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 358
Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 6/16/2011 1:28:38 PM

Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?


Because a decent boyfriend is hard to BE!....apparently...
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 362
Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 6/25/2011 1:39:56 PM

I'd suggest being an ***hole to them. As a sociology experiement. See if that works..
That is really bad advice, why? Because if a average looking Joe does that , he will be kicked to the curb, being a ass hole works if 1) you're Rich,2) extremely attractive and 3) if you're extremely confident

Since the average man on POF isnt in the above category , that would be suicide to them and blow to their ego for being a ass hole.
 PittsburghVixen
Joined: 6/27/2009
Msg: 363
Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 6/25/2011 2:17:11 PM
As the saying goes: The common denominator in all of your relationships is YOU. If all of those relationships go south, the other people aren't the only reason...
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 364
Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 6/25/2011 5:23:00 PM

That is really bad advice, why? Because if a average looking Joe does that , he will be kicked to the curb, being a ass hole works if 1) you're Rich,2) extremely attractive and 3) if you're extremely confident


...Well one out of three isn't too bad!
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 367
Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 6/26/2011 1:31:21 PM
So you're saying Mjlicklid, that all those average looking nice guys out there all they have to do is be a ass hole and they will get the girl?
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 369
Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 6/26/2011 1:40:06 PM

Women are callous and cruel. Once you show a little bit of weakness they rip open your heart and step on it. But, hey, that's only been my experience..
ahhh you were one of those nice guys ...gotcha now.

Yes, grow some balls..
Im not the one whining bud, second ,dont confuse me for being one of the those nice guys.
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 371
Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 6/26/2011 1:50:31 PM
wow that was sooooo funny.. NOT

 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 372
Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 6/26/2011 2:12:53 PM

They are a waist of my time.


...LOL Well,....waists DO seem to be a problem too! What a waste!
 karma1160
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 375
Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 6/27/2011 8:07:16 PM
One of the problems you have is that you log every woman into the same box.
Respect is earned by respecting the other person, not expecting them to be disrespectful.
NO woman wants an arse.
Girls like bad boys/ woman do not.
No one treats you badly because you are a bad person, they treat you badly because they do not know how treat people in general good.
Love and respectful behavior are learned, they don't arrive out of thin air.
You learn how to treat people good by having someone treat you good.
Unfortunately, not everyone has been loved or learned that loving someone is about making them happy as well as yourself, these things have to be shown.
if you took it on yourself to show someone how wonderful they were to you, it might just come back to you.
 Bookbelle
Joined: 10/24/2008
Msg: 376
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Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 6/28/2011 6:00:59 AM

Why is it that, when it comes to dating, people are so dismissive of the idea that one is owed something for good behaviour? Isn't this the moral code we all live by in all other aspects of our lives? Why does it not apply to dating? It's simple manners, isn't it?


There's nothing wrong with good behaviour. However, why is it that, when it comes to dating, people think they are OWED something by the world simply for not being an ass (in their opinion)?

Good behaviour does not automatically = attraction. You can be the nicest guy in the world, but if the attraction isn't there, it simply ISN'T THERE.
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