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 capone01
Joined: 10/13/2005
Msg: 167
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Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find? Page 3 of 23    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)
hey I think it is just where you are looking!

I am a decent girl, yet I have been single for a whole year... I have kinda gotten use to it- but it worries me sometimes...

I am sometimes too confident and tell everyone that i dont care, but thats all true sometimes, but at the end of the day- we wld all like to meet someone nice....

the question you need to ask you- is..."where have i been looking?" once you ask this then maybe it may help... me myself... I have stopped looking and have been happy with me....

try it and let me know how goes..... :)
 capone01
Joined: 10/13/2005
Msg: 171
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Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 11/8/2006 8:42:53 AM
hey - I am replying to an old subject- but this is what I think... honestly

(I think that most women get scared off....)

why? Because we cant tell... as most men are of few words... whether 1) you just want to sleep with us, 2) and when we dont sleep with you... U NEVER CALL AGAIN! what the hell is that?? Didnt your mothers bring you up better then that?? I am from an italian background..... and i think that is RUDE and IGNORANT... in the smart sense...

Please... if you cant find a decent girl.. maybe tak a second look at the girls you are picking..... maybe you have settled... or gotten use to the slump you are in??

There are some of us out there... but youd better hurry.... lol
 Smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 172
Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 11/16/2006 11:55:48 AM
I'm a Nice Guy too*** But ...I've learned that trying to hard makes you look desparate. I think it's sad state of affairs when Looks and Money are the number one thing anyone looks for!

Delski, sad state of affairs or not, at least you understand what's important to a girl and that's a lot more than I can say for most guys. ***You guys don’t want to know the truth; you just want what you want, and you wish that what you want was the truth.

First, you don’t want a nice girl you want me, and I’m way out of your league. The reason gurls like me go for the so called bad guys is because they have movie star looks and the smarts to go with their looks. All girls want guys that are tall, smart, sexy, very good looking, and athletic. You nice guys don’t have all that, you are just dumb, fat, and ugly. If I was going to have sex, it wouldn’t be with you—that’s gross.

So stop looking for gurls like me. Instead look for an average looking girl, treat her right, and you will have found your nice girl. One final thing, be a true nice guy and not a pseudo nice guy that is so common on these threads. Now if you are good enough looking for me to date or if you find a girl that may date you, let me tell you how not to be.

I like nice guys; that's not the problem. I just met you and you are telling me how much you want to date me and asking for my phone number and I'm probably not ready. You just come on too strong and too fast. You come across as desperate by telling me how special and beautiful I am, you tell me you LOVE ME SOOO MUCH, that you will always treat me right, how I'm the one you have always been looking for, how good you will treat me, and all that rubbish. I'd rather a guy try to get into my pants. If only you would just give me a little time and space, but NOOO you have to LOVE me. So I choose the bad guys. You can slap their face and they just smile. At least with the bad guys, if and when I decide I'm not interested, they don't give a hoot. I'm not going to hurt them.

Like most gurls, I'm a companionate person; I don't wish to wish to hurt anyone. But if I decide I don't want to date you anymore, you are going to be SOOO hurt. I can see it in your face, your expression, and body language. You try to get me back, you mope and complain, you point out all the things you have given me, and tell me how badly I'm treating you, or maybe even talk about suicide. I don't want to deal with any of that crap, let alone most of it. If you give me the slightest indication you are going to be that way, that's it; I'm not having anything to do with.

If you act like that, I don't think you are nice guys at all, I think you are selfish clingy bas-tards posing as nice guys just to get me, the gurl. You don't care about me; if you did, you would be happy for me when I wanted to go because that would be what I wanted. But, no you are selfish and want me to stay and love you even though that is not what I want.

When you want to go bowling with one of your guy friends and he tells you he has a date and can't go, you would like for him to go but you don't get miffed or get your feelings hurt. It's hard for me to tell you what you don't want to hear when I know you are so enthused and you will be SOOO disappointed. If you would give me the same considerations you give your guy friends and not be offended and get your feeling hurt, I might go out with you.

That sounds harsh and that girl is full of herself, but I believe there is a lot of truth in what she said. When guys ask why decent girlfriends are hard to find, they are really asking, "Why are young, good-looking, sexy, chicks hard to find?" It is what make diamonds hard to find—scarcity and demand. Almost all men want pretty and nice young girls, but they are rare making them unobtainable for all but the top 5 or 10 percent of the guys.

Unlike diamonds, ordinary rocks are plentiful but not in much demand; therefore, like ordinary women, they are not difficult to obtain. They may not be hot, but there is nothing wrong with the character and decency of most ordinary women. If guys would love, respect, and treat them right, most ordinary women would be decent girlfriends.
 Huggablehottie
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 174
Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 11/17/2006 6:48:54 AM
OP
I definitely think I am a decent girlfriend. For me, I don't want a man
who treats me like crap, I would leave immediately.
I was wondering the same thing about guys.
Are you all too picky?
Don't you truly want to be loved?
Are you all scared of commitment?
 UandIBelieve
Joined: 6/10/2005
Msg: 175
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Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 11/17/2006 7:09:23 AM
Now I have a Question for you...WHY IS A GOOD BOYFRIEND SO HARD TO FIND?
I guess it goes both ways. After 30 yrs. of marriage, I find myself out there again. I think I am reasonably attractive. I am fun to be with... but it is 2 yrs. now, lots of dates and not a keeper in the bunch... Have news for you, I want the bad boys to stay away... I just want one hero...I remain positive and know that one day I will find my hero... In the mean time I have met some really nice people but it is not easy... Thank God for the fact that there are some nice guys out there looking. Yes, there are some nice ladies just waiting for you to find them... There is good and bad in everything just enjoy and persue... Smiles and good wishes... jacki
 Smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 176
Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 11/17/2006 10:01:50 AM
I was wondering the same thing about guys.
Are you all too picky? Could be since without wars killing off 1/3 of the men, there are not enough attractive females for men to obtain the quality of female nature dictates they deserve.
Don't you truly want to be loved? Yes
Are you all scared of commitment? Not if the lady is desirable; that is, young, pretty, sexy, and smart.
 ladyrcmt
Joined: 4/3/2006
Msg: 179
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Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 11/17/2006 11:25:38 AM
power games, fear of intimacy, and our need to feel alive by staying in a perpetual state of longing for "true love".
these play into the dance as well.
 Smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 182
Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 11/17/2006 10:42:30 PM
I learned a long time ago that those "bad boys" aren't worth having.

Actually they are if you could have them; it is only that you have learned that they are only interested in you for sex.

Basically the so called "bad boys" are the guys that women fall all over themselves for because they are the most desirable. That is, they are tall, smart, athletic, good-looking, and very pleasant to be with. Because women are easy for them they don't invest much time before having sex and then going to the next woman. It is not that they don't treat women nice; it is just that they don't need to invest much time and money before having sex and that, for most of the women they have sex with, the guys are not interested in any lengthy relationship.

Of course the women wishing for marriage are disappointed. They may feel used and call the guys jerks. However, that is seldom the truth because the women were willing partners. It is just that the women are resentful when the guys move on to someone new because they were seeking more than the guys were willing to give them.
 SCUDRUNN3R
Joined: 11/30/2006
Msg: 194
Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 1/23/2007 7:22:43 PM
THE BEST WAY TO DO IT (the whole dating game crap) IS TO NOT GIVE A MONKEYS WHAT HAPPENS. Life is a sequence of random events so do whatever the hell you want, say yes or no. seriously.

CARE NOT = BEST WAY

goooooood luck to all
 mistyme
Joined: 4/14/2006
Msg: 197
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Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 2/9/2007 4:02:38 PM
hmm............. they are out there, usually labeled as boring or uninteresting.

How wrong can they be, just cause I hold some values and respect for myself, and don't want to be treated like crap, don't make me uninteresting or boring.

I been out with 4 guys since my marrage ended, that was years ago........ seems no other issues with these guys, everything seemed fine, so they tell me. In the end it was all of them that ran because they werent ready for a relationship, hey..... happy to start as freinds, but with some ultermate goal that we are heading for a longterm thing if it works out.
seems all in all they just didn't realy want the nice girl after all. hence who they with now hey

be carful what you ask for .......... you may find it ..........
and decide, like these guys that you don't really want it.

Best of luck with your search. Angela
 Smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 198
Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 2/9/2007 5:18:43 PM
The primary reason is many guys are seeking who they can't have. Also, it is partly our society that says men are incompetent, stupid, and bad and that women are so deserving. As a result, instead of being a helpmate, many women expect to wear the pants and make all decisions; that's not what men are seeking.
 Smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 203
Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 2/14/2007 5:40:23 AM
Probably because you define a decent girlfriend as someone that nice, well-adjusted, young, and pretty. By that defination only twenty percent of the girls are decent. However, almost 100 percent of the guys want that twenty percent. Therefore, using that defination, there are not near enough potential decent girlfriends to satisfy the demand.
 Smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 205
Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 2/14/2007 7:25:02 AM
1. What women really want and what they say they want are 2 entirely different things. They moan that they can't find a decent guy. Truth be told they don't want one. They never have and probably never will!!!!

Women are complicated. On the internet I read that for communication their brains are super highways and men's brains are country back roads.

Part of what women say is code that other women understand but men don't. We make a mistake if we take their words literally. When a women ask another woman, "Do you like the color of my dress?" and the color is hideous, the other woman knows she is not asking for and doesn't want a truthful answer.

Part of it is women really don't know what they want. When a woman gets a man, the first thing she tries to do is to change him and she will complain and be miserable if he does not change. However, if he changes, she doesn't want him because she was attracted to who he was—not who he has become

Women want good looking, smart, athletic men--the kind of men that are not going to invest much time in them or be faithful, because other women are falling all over themselves for them. Even though she knows he has been unfaithful and dumped every other woman, he's so good looking that she's IN LOVE. She tell herself, "He will be different with me."

Finally, women are going to say what they are expected to say. For example, they will say, "Looks and money are not that important" when in reality looks and money are the only things or at least they are way ahead of whatever comes in third.
 Wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 207
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Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 2/14/2007 7:44:43 AM
Because if a decent girlfriend were easy to find the would not have such a great value or be held in such high esteem. We treasure them BECAUSE they are so Rare
 Smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 211
I would like to know what descent means to you
Posted: 2/14/2007 8:10:47 AM

I've been here in POF for months already, but still can't find one, who knows what really LOVE means. Almost of them were after sex...whew!

Like the females of all species, you are attracted to symmetrical males--they have better genes. You may have to accept less symmetry if you want love and fidelity.

“…studies show that symmetrical men invest less in any one romantic relationship-less time, less attention, less money and less fidelity. They're too busy spreading around their symmetry. "They also tend to sexualize other women more," Gangestad reports. "It may be that males who can have the most access without giving a lot of investment take advantage of that." http://psychologytoday.com/articles/index.php?term=pto-19990101-000033&page=7
 Smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 213
Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 2/14/2007 9:08:30 AM
...symmetrical faces....they did a study....women find their sweat smells more appealing!!!

I believe it.

Joe Namath said in an interview with "PLAYBOY" about 30 years ago,that he "scored with about 400 co-eds at U of Ala., by going to school dances, and when he was sweating, passing a handkerchief under his arm pits, and then holding the "hanky" under the girls nose while dancing.
 Wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 214
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Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 2/14/2007 12:06:07 PM
Nowadays a "decent" girlfriend is a lot easier to find than a "decent" boyfriend. So many men are double minded, players, cons, insecure, liars, workaholics, alcoholics, etc. etc. The women who are like these guys are usually the result of having had contact with these kinds of guys and were badly burned by them. Most women are pretty basic,


I am sorry Ma'am I must take you to task on this:

1) The notion that women are basic is ludicrus, Women are the most complex creature on the planet............one of the best and worst thing about them.

2) The notion that the majority of "bad" girlfriends are the product of bad boyfriends is also flawed though it is a valid factor. I would think on both sides of the coin much has to do with parental influence during the teen dating years. I have seen it happen so many times, parents want so much for their children that the "person" their child is dating becomes secondary to their status or potential as a mate. Which is kind of silly considering that less than 20% of kids go on to be what they chose in high school and only 30% go into the field of their bachelors degree. This attitude, though well meaning often creates "Bad" boy/girl friends
And insecure, workaholics, alcoholics can as often be attributed a prior "bad" girlfriend as it is the other was around

3) Easier to find a good girl than a good boy..........'fraid not. Remember it is not just finding a good guy or girl. It is finding one that makes you come alive, that gives every day on this planet extra special meaning............It is hard for all humans, the pretty, the fat, the homely, the rich, the poor, the educated, the average joe. Some of us have smaller or larger ponds to fish in......but the bottom line is if the fish in your pond don't make you happy ....you have to move up to the lake or river,or ocean.......... hence we are here on POF
 Smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 217
Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 2/14/2007 4:11:48 PM
Women as Defined by an Engineer
http://www.libertypost.org/cgi-bin/readart.cgi?ArtNum=175113
 Smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 222
Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 2/14/2007 6:10:43 PM

I find nice men, just not the ONE for me. You have an idea of WHO and WHAT you want and so does everyone else.

Beautiful, I believe you stated it correctly and therein lies the problem. Typically a woman wants a man that is tall, handsome, smart, and successful. Most men want a woman that is young, beautiful, and with a waist to hip ratio of 0.7. Both Marilyn Monroe and Kate Moss have a WHR of 0.7, despite their drastically different sizes.

The men and women having those characteristics are few while those that want the few are many. Most of us will end up compromising and settling for someone we can get but that is easier said than done.
 Wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 223
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Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 2/14/2007 7:58:38 PM
Wullis, You disagreed with me without addressing any of the points I made. Would be nice to know what your thoughts are on "dependability", "spiritual connection" etc. You skipped completely over these and moved on to your own agenda


I address as follows:


A man gives "security" by having a good job that is able to pay for a woman's needs.

A good man does not WANT to "give" security by having a job to "pay" for a woman's needs
A good man wants to provide security by taking a responsible role (whether that is as a wage earner or care giver or both) in assuring the couple's/family's REASONABLE needs and safety.


"love" means caring for the woman in a way that has nothing to do with sex but it is a caring for her emotional well-being as a human being which has nothing to do with sex


If a good man loves his woman he "shares" the bounty and the burden of the couple's/family's emotional AND PHYSICAL needs. It has everything to do with sex. If a couples physical needs are not sated, the emotional one cannot be satisfied.


"And a spiritual connection can mean going to church with the woman, praying with her and living by ethical standards.


A spiritual connection is "sharing" common goals, dreams, ethics, and interests and this must be there BEFORE you have a relationship. When some of the goals, dreams, ethics, and interests are not common that falls under SACRIFICE. Another relationship essentional

A good man WANTS to "share" the sacrifices needed to make a relationship work.


"dependability" is more about being there for the woman when her car breaks down or when she needs your support in helping her with her work or projects.


She can call AAA or hire a handyman if that is what is needed, this has nothing to do with dependability. If a man has shared love, security, and sacrifice he is dependable

You tell me where the men are who are willing to give this to us
of these there are few, and they are suckers, uneducated in how to have a relationship. And when you educate them they will leave.
If I said a woman needed to give her body to her man .........this thread would come apart
A woman WANTS to share her body with her partner. The first time a man or a woman says their partner "NEEDS TO GIVE" they have compromised their relationship. Relationships are not about you or me it is about us. A Relationship must be SHARED.

And the man I described does exist, and there are more that would be if they imagined it was possible.


Most guys just don't get it! You need to do your homework on women


No you don't get it.
beautiful yet sad gets it ...................................Sorry it is so Long
 queenrhiannon
Joined: 8/15/2005
Msg: 224
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Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 2/14/2007 8:00:28 PM
I kinda agree, but at my age, I still wont settle, but my views on the perfect mate has changed. I dated male models, rockers, even successful business men, but always lacking something. I want a friend, lover, cohort, protector, someone I can mother sometimes, someone that has my wierd and off the wall sense of humour. But the staples still are must be somewhat stable in a career. I don't care what car they drive, how many friggin toys (usually I find the guys with the most toys, pay more attention to their toys than their gf's). And as far as height goes, I have dated all sorts. The most fun I had was someone about 5'4 - but his personality was 7 feet tall. The main thing is also respect. Respect for me, my family, and most of all for the relationship we are in.
It does in todays world, seem too much to ask for.
 Smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 228
Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 4/23/2007 2:06:20 PM
Very simple, too many men. Without wars to restore the natural balance girls have so many guys chasing them that they can afford to be extremely picky. Therefore, girls become difficult and uncompromising. Since they don’t have please guys, they don’t make the effort.
 Smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 237
Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 7/12/2007 8:00:04 AM
Because there are so few decent women. There is a huge demand for the few decent women.
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