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Joined: 11/1/2006
Msg: 240
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Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find? Page 4 of 23    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)
whats wrong with being Krazy? We have a hell of alot of fun
Joined: 12/10/2006
Msg: 242
Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 7/24/2007 5:47:49 PM
I agree with everything you just said, in a sense. Now a days, love and a relashionship

are very confusing top say the least. I think it is a hit or miss affair, I mean like

if he or she does not like what you say, or you have nothing in common, it is such

a big decision to get to know someone. Thats what I think.

Women think they know men and the other way around. Women want soft slow

sensual things, and guys want that, but more of something women dont really want.

If women would show more affection and be more open and willing to most guys,

more people would be dating.

Women are not crazy and confused though, and most do know what they want,

its just tough to find a woman, or guy who are on the same level with each other/

Live and learn people:)

Joined: 4/26/2005
Msg: 245
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Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 8/2/2007 9:49:24 AM
I am a Canadian who moved to the usa (california) and the women in Canada are WAY more genuine, WAY sweeter, WAY more open, and WAY less superficial then the women here. But then again, I was a player most of the time I was there, and now I am a sweet guy, and I have seen that the rules DO change for those 2. It does help to get a bit more badboy on because if you are in a major metro area, or with women who have been liberalized, they just don't give a shit about family or having the "good guy" anymore. They aren't looking for husband material, they are looking for excitement and entertainment and that is a fact. Also if they are very attractive, they can have husband material any time they want it, and they know that, they are ALWAYS looking for that ONE exciting entertaining guy who eventually will change into husband material.
Joined: 4/26/2005
Msg: 246
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Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 8/2/2007 10:48:00 AM
A decent guy for you women is so hard to find because of these reasons:
1. - You don't lose weight and stay in shape, so less men come after you. The good guys are all looking for attractive women too, just cause they are good doesn't mean they are willing to settle for couch potato cathy.
2. - If you do lose weight or stay in shape, you go after the badboy types and not the good guys, you KNOW this so stop whining, you WANT the badboy type who treats you like shit, comes on strong, is indifferent to you which excites you, that's all you go for, you don't ever go for the good guy, you don't look for him, you don't want to give to him when you find him, you just want to "get lazy and settle down and he accepts you for who you are, fat, lazy, and don't care about his desires"
3. - Women DO NOT hold men to standards saying, oh your a bad boy? you don't have values? you have a bad history with women, then GET LOST! women NEVER do this, they go for the ***hole every time.
4. - Women DO NOT go to churches to find Mr. right, the single good guys in the ministry who are unmarried, NEVER do you ever hear women talking about going there for a guy. That is probably one of the biggest indicators that women are looking for the bad guys. They all know where the good guys are, IN CHURCH, but do they go there to find em? nope. If they honestly wanted a good guy, they would be there, or be saying to their friends, oh wow suzie you dated some guy who doesn't go to church, doesn't call much, has a bad history with women, came on fast? wowwww.. you need to go find a good guy in church, someone with values. The LAST thing women care about is a guys values. They want a badass who will always excite and entertain them, treat them like a whore in bed, and like a whore out of bed they just deny that thats what it really is, throughout life and they will never be bored with him and will always have to chase after him cause he doesn't care, women couldn't give a rats asss about values in a guy, they are soooo far 5th to exciting and entertaining, money, good looks, and indifference.

Women: what you need to do to score the goodguy is this:
- 1. lose the weight (yes all of it) , do your makeup, dress nice, it can be simple but nice, victorias secret is cheap and looks fantastic and takes no fashion sense to pick up a book and say, hey that looks cute, order, bam. (order a size smaller than you and lose the weight)
- 2. Go to a church (yes every week) you will learn cool things.
- 3. Look for single guy.....BAM! he will more than likely live for GOD 1st then you but never do you wrong, you can get the pastor involved if he starts to, and he will have to stop it, he will never cheat on you, will provide for you, always be there for you, etc.

But will you women do that? NO FLUCKIN WAY. here is what you will do instead:

- 1. you will go to a bar, passing shy guy on the street who is staring at you when you have a moment, waiting for him to approach you, but you will not approach him.
- 2. you will let some snake alpha male come hit on you, you will give him your number, instead of seeing the shy good guy in the corner and walking up to him and giving him yours.
- 3. you will date exciting bar snake as he dates other girls, wants sex as soon as he can get it from you, and you will give it to him, even on the first few dates most times. (alpha male bar snake doesnt go to church, doesnt believe in god, doesnt value god and family above all, (OF COURSE HE SAYYYYS he does, not one single person on earth says they dont.)
meanwhile you throw away all numbers of good guys who might ask you out, because they are not as exciting as that possibility the exciting guy will fall for you and change to exciting guy who devotes, which he NEVER will you KNOW this. It is personality- psychology IMPOSSIBLE for that to happen.
- 4. you will whine and piss and moan why cant you find a good guy....just be honest for once, YOU DONT WANT A FLUCKIN GOOD GUY, you just passed good guy on the street, good guy in bar, good guy at church you could have landed, and all the good guys in church you could land now, YOU DONT WANT THEM so GET REAL.
Stop complaining about men, the only person you can complain about is yourself.

What you SHOULD be saying which would at least be PARTIALLY honest is.
=== I refuse to go find a good guy, I will pass at all the good guys. How can I take a good guy and make him more exciting? How can I get a good guy to excite me? How can I feel more excited dating a good guy? How can I get a good guy to ask me out, step forward, and become exciting? Why aren't more good guys exciting?


The reason guys pass on good women is well.....they re all overweight and not concerned about their looks, and then the animalistic chemistry turns off and we NEED that to survive, it is easier to be single and have the possibility of finding that animalistic chemistry in the future then it is so settle on a life with someone who wants you to be okay with living without it because she doesn't care about you enough to lose the weight, wear the makeup, and dress sexy. Talk about a slow painful death.
Joined: 4/18/2007
Msg: 247
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Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 8/2/2007 11:02:37 AM
As a woman dating men and hoping to just find one to build a sustainable future with I often wonder:

Why is it that so many men are soo damn crazy and confused and have no idea what they want? Why do you have to treat a man like crap in order for him to like you and actually respect you? If you are a nice woman nowdays you get shit on or left because they want to go out with woman that is a **** to them. I just dont get it! Why would you want to be treated badly? Isn't that the point of a relationship to feel good... mutually supported... to work on understaning and caring about each other and a future together? I just don't get a lot of men that are like this.... and understand even less, the men that are like this

- AND who turn around and say the woman is like this! I would like to just be as loving and giving as I want and not have to worry about a knife ending up in my back- yet again- and the twisting of it in my heart, steam-rollered by another man I have laid my heart open to.

Sarah, an optimist nonetheless (because I also KNOW there are wonderful men- and women- out there... and here on PoF)
Joined: 3/1/2006
Msg: 248
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Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 8/2/2007 1:06:03 PM

There is a huge demand for the few decent women.

and an even bigger demand for the indecent ones
Joined: 1/13/2006
Msg: 250
Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 8/2/2007 1:46:05 PM
This is my first time to reply to the forum. Here we go!
I'm sure there's a decent girl friend or boyfriend out there somewhere for all of us, but have you ever noticed that the people you do chat/email with (on dating sites)& seem to have commonalities with are never within reach? They're either on the other side of your state or the other side of the country! If either are willing to make a move, if it should come to that...good for them! Someone has caught their fishy!!
As for anything local,there aren't too many places to meet people , I go dancing, but I'm not a bar fly. I've been tempted to hang out in LOWES...and see what goes!
Joined: 4/22/2007
Msg: 251
Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 8/2/2007 2:12:08 PM
I was wondering how far along I might have to read before someone finally figured it out....We must first deal with our own baggage; self-esteem, self-efficacy, self-worth, attachment issues, Post Traumatic Stress, all aspects of our personal health, and other areas where we may not be happy with ourselves.
A relationship is a compliment to our lives, not the be-all-end-all. Yes, it is beautiful to have a "partner" in life, be it a girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, or husband to share experiences with....all things good and bad. I agree that men frequently get the short end of the stick when it comes to being able to vent emotionally. Not all woman are the same just as all men are not the same. If we believe that all men are dogs or that all women are cows, then that is most certainly what we will find. Widen the scope of your reticular vision by acknowledging that there are good and bad people everywhere.
The best recommendation I ever received was to thoroughly get to know myself before I began "searching" for the "the one".
Remember that the mind is the most powerful tool we have - "if you believe you can, or if you believe you can't - you are right." - Henry Ford
In other words, what you believe is what you will find. Be cautious and take things slow, ask the right questions - you'll get the answers to help aid in your decision if this is "the one" or not. There should be compatibilty on all four levels, physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. Much like we prepare for job interviews, with questions about the company and it's values, mission statement, goals, - so should we prepare for "dating."
Don't misunderstand, I'm not saying interrogation - try researching the personality to see if they are a match for you...and steer clear of those who have not dealt with their baggage. Most of all, learn from each encounter. If all else fails - see a psychic! lol
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 253
Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 8/2/2007 2:34:59 PM

Why do you think that women want jerks? Because everyone seems to be saying so?
Well that's a bunch of hooey being said over and over again by a small group of very loud people!!!!! ... When everyone starts being more kind to each other, stops labeling all women as such and such and all guys are such in such the whole dating climate will change.....!

Bad day to say it.. but it is a case of everyone saying.. It's okay to jump off a cliff and everyone goes yipee.. and follows the first fool over! It's time all generations started to speak in a more respectful way of the opposite sex and the we'll see a reversal of this common erroneous viewpoint!

Judging all People but what a Small Minorites Viewpoint it exactly the way Hitler managed to get the German People to Believe His Lies... todays Singles Population is being lied to... and they are believing the LIE!!!

It's a lie to say ALL any people want to mistreated and that it is okay! That Girls Like "Bad Boys". or that Men Like "Biotches"..The Truth is ALL People want to be treated with Respect! Why would any self respecting person want to date or mate with a Person Who thinks they are so LOW in their Eyes?

Respect Yourself and Respect Others as You Wanted to Be Treated and You Will See Amazing Results in Your Life!!!!
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 254
Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 8/2/2007 2:44:38 PM
A bit about the Long Distance Relationship Thing.... Get Over Yourself!!! If they are too Far by your standards say Thanks and don't waste their time or yours. If they are terrific and you are really looking for the right person.. then Communicate. A note here and there not an instant... fall over like a pushover for them but Communicate like they are in the next room.... Stop the whining when someone approaches you!!!! Be honest and forthright like the Adult your are to be here! Stop the whining and guess what you'll be far more attractive and the person who is supposed to be in your environment will be attracted to you.

Cyber dating is a unique opportunity. Taking the risk here means learning new methods of communicating. New ways of accepting someone. And Growth for the person who uses the Internet as a Learning tool to meet the person of their dreams.
Joined: 6/26/2007
Msg: 259
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Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 8/2/2007 8:03:21 PM
Zack -
we're not all like that. Much in the same manner that men are not all alike.
Joined: 6/26/2007
Msg: 260
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Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 8/2/2007 8:07:07 PM
aaroniac -
I really liked the first part of your answer....but the second part sounds so mercenary..perhaps that explains why a good Man is so difficult to find.
Joined: 8/18/2005
Msg: 261
Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 8/2/2007 8:15:26 PM
Well because it is hard to find a decend man some times too. YOu should consider what is your definition of decency too. Some men think if a girl has bigger boobs then she is definitely a decent girl! Some think of decency from other qualities. A man s decency also has to be examine as well! How decent are you your self and if you both are a good match or you can be two great people but you can not stand each other. I jsut seee decency as a metaphore, because people are so different and they all come from different background and believes. In some cultures the word decency means some thing other then our culture and definitions.
Good luck
Joined: 5/23/2008
Msg: 268
Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 7/29/2008 12:17:23 PM
First, here's an analogy that perfectly sums up why a "decent" girlfriend is so hard to find.

Your ideas of what makes a girl decent are yours and you are trying to look for a custom-tailored fit in the only clothes shop in the whole world that is loaded with nothing but off-the-rack specials. Some off-the-rack articles will fit some people perfectly while others may never find that article of clothing that will ever be perfect no matter how hard it is searched for.

And a little bit of cynical information for everyone, both ladies and gentlemen: love is a crock and nothing more than a human romantization of the basic instinct to procreate; to continue the genetic lineages of both the man and the woman through their offspring as well as to ensure the continued survival of the species of which the mates are a member of.

It is also this human element that is responsible for making this primal act both an honorable and wonderful one as well as a despicable one that has lead to nothing but the absolute worst that people are capable of, depending on the circumstances.

A lot of the reason why boys may choose bad girls while girls may choose bad boys are perceptions of fitness; who will make the best mate for the purpose of spawning strong offspring. Many times, people may see those who act like jerks also assert with strong authority, which are traits that are considered for suitability as a mate.

And, the interesting thing here is that this kind of attraction occurs subconsciously. Humans, however, do have the advantage of understanding and even transcending this instinct, being able to see through the facade and judging the true character of the person and connecting through more than just physical consummation of the sex drive. But that is a skill that appears to be rarely practiced as is evidenced by people who keep coming back for more put-downs and beatups from a**h***s and m*****rf****rs like a brain-damaged hamster continually trying to chew an electrified piece of kibble.

The sooner you understand that you can control this to your advantage, the better off you will be. Machiavellian, indeed, but that's just the way it seems to be. Just like hunting, it's kill or be killed unless you find someone that is also intelligent enough to realize that we have an ability to make it more than that: to be soulmates rather than mere mates. That's all too rare, though, so don't bet the house on that chance because most people are dishonrable backstabbers.

Don't feel bad or lonely because, honestly, love is not all that it's cracked up to be because we, as a species, make it so worthless to begin with by most individuals refusing to individually accept total responsibility for it.
Joined: 5/11/2008
Msg: 269
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Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 7/29/2008 7:38:28 PM
Ya know there is so much to be said for the saying "nice guys finish last". There is a reason that saying is so well known. CUZ IT'S TRUE!!! For years I hated this fact and decided to rebel against this and be the nice guy. You can guess what that got me. My advice is wise up. There are so many reasons why women today are they way they are, but realize that most women do not want a "nice guy". When I hear women say "why can't I find a nice guy?" I just laugh. Nice guys grow on trees, they are everywhere. Women don't want this, even if they don't consiously recognize this. Accept it, and you will be better off for it.
Joined: 1/19/2005
Msg: 275
Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 1/1/2009 7:14:38 AM
beacuse you be trying but you can never get them
Joined: 1/19/2005
Msg: 276
Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 1/1/2009 7:27:01 AM
call me on my cell phone i tell you and my number is 229-894-6096
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 278
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Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 1/1/2009 2:35:23 PM
Welcome to the world of dating.
Everyone's nuts.
All the guys swear that all women want nothing but money.
Funny thing is.... finding a guy who can just F-ing hold a job is impossible.
AND that means all we want is money??!!!!

Happy New Year!!!
Joined: 12/4/2008
Msg: 279
Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 1/1/2009 6:04:49 PM
Usualy the ***holes we end up with present themselves as sensitive caring men until they have you hooked. Women are always suckers for a seemingly heartfelt apology and great make up sex , we think we can help and it becomes a challange to help them find themselves. After a few of these types we question all mens motives so come across as uninterested in a relationship so the decent guys wonder what the hell is wrong with us.

it's very often just a self-destructive attraction we feel to a certain "type" or just plain bad luck choices. Hang in there, there ARE good women out there, they just might not be the "type" you've always been drawn to. Maybe you should make a list of what traits you do want in a lady, and then when you meet someone, go over that list to see if she naturally fits it. In other words, don't make excuses for her to make her fit where she obviously doesn't. You'd also have to spend quite a bit of time getting to really know her in order to see if she was a good fit, and it might stop you from getting too serious before knowing exactly who you were with. Good Luck

This I find its so true... I can't argue with that... There are decent kind women out there who are been burned in the past by ***holes and jerks who have taken advantage of a good woman.

Believe me, finding a decent girlfriend is not that hard... If we're given a chance, we can prove you wrong that women aren't half weirdos/crazies...

I think the challenging part of dating is finding someone who can 'mesh' with you and accept for all your flaws/imperfection.

Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 282
Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 9/3/2009 7:06:57 PM
Men: Visual.
Women: Emotional.

Men: Attracted to what they SEE.
Women: Attracted to how he makes her FEEL.

Learn to be confident and comfortable in who you are and the RIGHT woman will be attracted to you. She won't be flaky or confused when she's into you.

Women who act flaky and confused are "just not that into you."

Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 283
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Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 9/3/2009 7:30:27 PM
Sexual stimulation involves ANGER for some. "Nice" just isn't "exciting" enough somehow for some.

A-holes, as deplorable as they are in some respects, are "take-charge" kind of guys. The A-hole part may not be desirable, but the "take-charge" attitude IS desirable. Some of us want to "coast" on autopilot and have someone come in and dominate and take over our lives. We, male or female, then assume the "victim" role, as the OP is doing. This, then, invites the other's aggression, or, worse, apathy, and eventual absence.

I'm reminded of the Keanu Reeves/Patrick Swayze surfing/skydiving/bank-robbing action thriller, Point Break. Swayze as the lead bank-robber says "When you take charge of the situation, you create fear in them. When you hesitate, you invite aggression, and hesitation will make your worst fears come true." Human sexual psychology is kind of a similar model. In fear, there is excitement. In aggression, the aggressor is in charge of creating the fear, the excitement. It may be f--ked up, but it's the way it is. So take charge, at least sometimes.

Be who you are, just be AS MUCH of who you are as possible. Do take pleasure in taking charge, taking control...yes, dominating. "Aggressively loving". Yes, ask her how she feels, but don't become insecure in that. Don't sit back, coast, be wishy-washy, be fearful...and expect to hold her interest. You want to CREATE her interest...and yours-!
Joined: 5/2/2009
Msg: 287
Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 9/6/2009 10:07:10 PM
thank you this thread just basically listed my entire girlfriend/boyfriend relationship with women
 Aaron Mortlock
Joined: 4/17/2009
Msg: 288
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Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 12/23/2009 1:10:17 AM
where im from here in Australia it is so hard to find a decent girl i was with someone for 2 and a half years and they were everything i ever wanted, never done drugs, never smoked and never hooked up with a guy that she wasnt dating, had beautiful dark hair a beautiful smile and eyes and a proper hour glass figure the exact kind of thing i go for but we broke up because she cared more for money then actual people, since then i havent managed to find any one that is as good minus the shallow money hungry part that i dont want to find again, she recently came back though and i fell for her again but she still hurt me a second time in the end and her morals have completely changed i was shocked and really upset considering how rare it was to find decent girls in the area and she used to fit the bill so perfectly i mean i still try to remain decent and nice like ive never smoked or done drugs, i rarely drink and i dont get with girls unless we are together first, seems people these days have no self respect or control and just wanna hang out drunk at clubs trying to get with the next guy/girl that walks past, i know not everyones like that but from what ive seen my self first hand ive noticed the majority at clubs are like this i mean im still looking none the less and wont give up hope hence why im a member to this site and why im posting in this forum, but for us decent good people i know we will find the person we are ment to be with if u stay true to ur beliefs
Joined: 8/2/2008
Msg: 294
Why is a decent girlfriend so hard to find?
Posted: 7/23/2010 8:56:23 PM

then they just can't let go.

Believe me...some of us can, very easily.

When you guys start looking at women as individuals instead of grouping us into one lot, you might actually find one that has their act together. Maybe it is what you are attracting. In other words, its not them, it really is YOU.
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