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 PAULO25
Joined: 12/26/2006
Msg: 211
How can you predict sexual compatibility?Page 10 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
Good question ...[.Is it too much to want someone who is compatible in both areas?] It isn't..but .I'm still trying to find to the answer!!!!!
 Not dating
Joined: 12/10/2005
Msg: 212
How can you predict sexual compatibility?
Posted: 11/24/2007 4:47:07 PM
I've found a variety of factors in predicting sexuality, and I'm pretty accurate so far. I think that attitudes about the body, the conversations you have with them about sex, and about their hopes and dreams in general give you a very good idea of how open-minded they are, or are not. I think that if they are adventurous in one area, they likely are in others too. To summarize, you predict it before you find out, by talking.....a lot.
 algha
Joined: 2/8/2007
Msg: 213
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How can you predict sexual compatibility?
Posted: 11/24/2007 4:58:02 PM
Sex is a learned behaviour, but where and how do people learn? Well it seems mainly it is made up as time goes by. Of course there are manuals on particular positions and techniques, but the true art of sex is forgotten, in the modern quick fix world. NO… sex is learned, mainly by trial and error, the inept teaching the inept. If you wish to learn anything else one normally goes to a collage where highly educated people specialise in their chosen subject. You learn from experts. But this view does not apply to sex. Sex does no require learning it is “NATURAL” apparently, and the “I’ve had no complaints” brigade just have not stuck around long enough to find out.. Sex like any speciality is a learned behaviour, but who likes to be informed they need improvement, not males for a start. Women vote about their great sex lives with their feet, and divorce figures, and break-ups numbers say it all.

Sex is seen as both dirty and wonderful thus confusing even the educated. From my limited experience, it takes a woman to up to 2000, yes two thousand hours to have what I call a climax, and it appears to be a scary experience, and the fear of what is happening can take a considerable time to adjust to. I personally ask all woman one question to find out how far they have developed in personal sexual awareness. How long after wonderful sex can you either go to the toilet or make a cup of tea. Anything under an hour is not a climax, being able to walk in a straight line to the toilet can take 10 minutes after an hour on a good day, I am not talking orgasms, or even multiple ones. Good sex involves two components foreplay and penetration, and to get up to the 2000 hours we are talking at least a minimum of two hour sessions involving both components together a minimum of 3-4 times a week. Its hard work for the male but VERY worthwhile, as for the out of bed relationship, VERY REWARDING indeed especially for the male, but its hard work, needing dedication and attention to detail. You can forget the HOLLYWOOD sex educational nonsense, that is not where it is at, it just ain’t like in the moooovies. The human skin has over 200 touch receptors every square centimetre, and that is just their skin, unmatched by other animals. So children, maybe the real adventure is discovering exactly what the hell being human is all about, and like appreciating good food the McDonnalds approach might be possible to be bettered!
 Flipper Jones
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 214
How can you predict sexual compatibility?
Posted: 11/24/2007 5:40:26 PM
Without getting to graphic about it (so as to save something for the bedroom) just talk about it a bit. You can get a prett good idea just having a casual conversation about it.
 Flipper Jones
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 215
How can you predict sexual compatibility?
Posted: 11/24/2007 5:52:20 PM
funny..................


cheers
 Tigress
Joined: 4/11/2004
Msg: 216
How can you predict sexual compatibility?
Posted: 11/24/2007 6:00:12 PM
Well, I don't think any couple should rush into sex too soon. I have values and don't think people should just sleep around, but when you get serious about someone and are in a committed relationship, I think sex is ok.

In this stage of my life, I would never marry someone without having sex with them first. It's not the MOST important thing, but it's high on the list.

Would you buy a used car without trying it out???
 sweetest
Joined: 10/8/2007
Msg: 217
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How can you predict sexual compatibility?
Posted: 11/24/2007 6:09:38 PM
Sexual compatibility is a huge part in any (long-term) relationship that I’ve ever been in. I’ve generally not given the same type of concerted thought with respect to this chicken/egg scenario as it is related in the OP’s question.

Sometimes the sexual relationship can happen like a house on fire--quickly. Luckily for me, I love good conversation, and that has always been the precursor of any new romantic relationship. I’m one of those women who get turned on by how a man thinks, writes, and speaks. Any man that I’m really attracted always has to engage me first along those lines. That would mean we’d already be talking a lot about our lives, about what we like and most importantly about who we are. I therefore would tend to know the degree of commonality that exists between us, and whether or not those other key aspects of compatibility are there. Like I said at the onset however, I’ve never moved through a distinct thought process around this (while I probably do admit to making those same determinations at some point), so this is definitely more anecdotal than anything.

I agree with the OP's thoughts that can be somewhat of a gamble. IMO, the risk can be mitigated by having really open communication at the earliest stages.

Btw, I also agree with a couple of opinions presented by other posters regarding indicators to sexual compatibility:

· A kiss says tells you lots---a great kiss IMO, is at it’s best sensual. A sensual person is usually a good lover because they are in tune with you and every nuance of how you are making them feel.
· A generous and thoughtful man usually IMO, extends these attributes to the bedroom.

Sensuality, generosity and thoughtfulness in one man = priceless!!
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 218
How can you predict sexual compatibility?
Posted: 11/24/2007 7:07:44 PM
...when you get goose bumps, your knees go weak, your stomach flutters, your mouth gets drier and other parts get wetter..

a good sign there's some chemistry there...
 MeloFelo
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 219
How can you predict sexual compatibility?
Posted: 11/24/2007 7:10:51 PM

Well, I don't think any couple should rush into sex too soon. I have values and don't think people should just sleep around, but when you get serious about someone and are in a committed relationship, I think sex is ok.


I can certainly see why a man would want to wait, to eventually end up with a woman, who thinks that sex can be "ok".
 blue34
Joined: 11/7/2007
Msg: 220
How can you predict sexual compatibility?
Posted: 11/24/2007 7:30:09 PM
This post is close to 2 years old? It seems that I have encounted that situation recently. I think that chemistry right up front is important. If there is very little chemistry (even kissing seems forced at first) then the rest is not going to be fireworks. But... if you want to take a test drive the first time out.. that is going to be a memorable experience!
 crabstuffing
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 221
How can you predict sexual compatibility?
Posted: 11/24/2007 7:38:32 PM
You can't predict, that's why you have to find out ASAP if sex is IMPORTANT to you! It's hard to break up after being "good" for 2 months. Right?
 OneOfAKind73
Joined: 11/4/2007
Msg: 222
How can you predict sexual compatibility?
Posted: 11/24/2007 8:39:14 PM
I think the only way you can actually predict sexual compatibility is to just do it. You can't describe it ;can't imagine it based on words or phone conversations.... Many people talk about how they are and what they like to do but you can't relate that the "actualness" of that if you will unless you practically apply. One's interpretation of something may not be what you are thinking. Ex.... guys says they like foreplay.... To me that means lengths of time exploring and playing and just enjoying that part but another may think if they do it for 30 seconds it is considered foreplay. Two totally different interpretations of the actual physicality of it derived from the way it is spoken. I personally think that if you connect "in mind"... you know talking and connecting and the communication is great... IF YOU ARE BOTH BEING YOURSELF AND BEING HONEST AND OPEN...AND YOU KNOW DEEP DOWN INSIDE YOURSELF WHETHER YOU REALLY ARE OR NOT.... then the chemistry end needs to be tested as well. Depending or course what your take is on it. For me that part needs to be as connected as the mind is. If it's not there then I am just "settling" and not going for the entire picture that will truly keep me content in the long run.

As far as being able to balance the two? Red Flags/Sexual Compatibility I will honestly say that I don't know the answer to that. I am afraid of the same things you are. I know where I am and what I present but how can you even be totally sure of the other person? You don't know. Time WILL tell though and unfortunately while many of us aren't willing to invest the time in fear of it not being what we thought it was that is the only thing that you can go through to see if it is that "one" thing that will work forever. You have to be willing to take the chance regardless of the hurt that may result. Because when it all comes down to it even if it isn't "the forever" that you are looking for you will at least have learned a lesson in life by experiencing it. .... and you won't know if it is that "forever" unless you give it a chance.
 MeloFelo
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 223
How can you predict sexual compatibility?
Posted: 11/24/2007 8:47:17 PM

I think the only way you can actually predict sexual compatibility is to just do it.


I agree with the first sentence of oneofakind73, for reasons far beyond her post.

Life experience has taught me something that I couldn't fathom earlier in life. It's not the "acts" nearly so much, as it is the "who", and the emotions that pass between two people, when making love.

There are very few unrealized fantasies for me, and very few acts I haven't tried. I worked on improving "technique" for a long time, and while that was useful, while I was having sex, without forming deep connections, the "real deal" comes with a "real connection". For me, the simplest, most elusive truth has been to discover that the most basic sexual experience, when with one with whom there is true intimacy, is far more fulfilling, than the greatest night of wild sex could ever be, if it is with someone with whom there is no emotional connection.

So, yes, to "just do it" will reveal whether the connection is real and deep, or if we're just pretending to be "into" each other. It's why, for me, sexual intimacy and emotional intimacy have to be explored in tandem, and fairly early on in a potential relationship.
 TRYKER
Joined: 5/3/2007
Msg: 224
How can you predict sexual compatibility?
Posted: 12/23/2007 12:21:32 PM
I will ask you very direct specific open questions. I expect that you will do the same. I am not going to wind up with some one who doesn't like what I like or wants something I don't like. Also there should be some understanding of what changes (growth) may be in the future
 MeloFelo
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 225
How can you predict sexual compatibility?
Posted: 12/23/2007 12:24:53 PM

Well, I don't think any couple should rush into sex too soon


One example would be reading a comment like that, which would tell me a lot about the general attitude that poster has about sex, and enough for me to know that we'd be incompatible. If you listen well, little things will tell you all that you really need to know, in order to predict compatibility.
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