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 HB2
Joined: 5/11/2005
Msg: 92
How can you predict sexual compatibility?Page 2 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
For me it's all wrapped up together doll...

Giving of your time is a huge part of ALL compatibility...

If someone can give so freely in a purely emotional arena then it's likely they're just as giving in the sexual one too...

If all you're looking at is body and attitude then pretty much anyone will do...

I'm looking at the total package not just who can get me off in the sack...

And for me, again, it's all aspects...

Mental
Emotional
Physical

So yes, I stayed on topic...

I just don't look at things the same as you...
 dave1234
Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 93
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How can you predict sexual compatibility?
Posted: 1/9/2006 10:36:12 AM
Sexual compatibility is like having one's relatives visit. You don't really know them until they stay a few days and then you really find out.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 98
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How can you predict sexual compatibility?
Posted: 1/10/2006 3:31:57 PM
lol...fill out a questionnaire????.....How about references and examples of work completed...lmao

Been there, done that too......great chemistry, good looks, bright, secure, and crappy in bed.......oh what a waste!!!!

Seems that for some the baggage is large and no matter how much you try to teach and explain, listen and work on it.....some people are just not good lovers.....for many reasons

Just my opinion...
 Montreal_Guy
Joined: 3/8/2004
Msg: 106
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How can you predict sexual compatibility?
Posted: 1/13/2006 12:06:04 AM
I think it's a matter of being selective in one's initial choice. If two people are honest and open, and able to communicate well, the rest will follow naturally.

I've had lovers that were better or worse, but never a total write-off.

Sex is like anything else, and most healthy people want a good sex life. The only way to make sure that will happen is to be able to communicate what you desire, and to also listen to the other person.

If you are with a selfish or uncaring person, or someone who has problems, then ( without the above) it probably won't be something that can be repaired.

One of the things I personally find a valuable indicator is a woman's ability to laugh freely and openly. It may sound strange, but those ones never seem to fall short in the bedroom. If they are uninhibited there, it tends to carry over.
 Montreal_Guy
Joined: 3/8/2004
Msg: 108
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How can you predict sexual compatibility?
Posted: 1/13/2006 12:25:40 AM
Most people really want to rock your world, if they are normal.

It depends on what two people are comfortable with. No one should do anything they do not want to do in bed ( or anywhere else, for that matter). Unless you are really living somewhere on the edge, that isn't a problem.

It's the same thing with women who fake orgasms. You can't expect men to get better in bed if you are misleading them. Any guy that knows his stuff isn't going to get fooled anyway. Some things cannot be faked.

By talking openly, and honestly participating in a sexual relationship, it can only get better for both parties. Since it's a very delicate part of our nature, it's something that needs to be talked about without fear.

It's like that old landmine question " Does this dress make me look fat ? "

You are much better off being honest, and diplomatic, and say something like " Well, that other one I think really compliments your figure much better than that one, but that's just me. "

If a woman is asking you a question like that, ( like most other times women ask men a question) they already know the answer. Lying will get you nowhere, and being blunt is unthoughtful.
 nipoleon
Joined: 12/27/2005
Msg: 109
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How can you predict sexual compatibility?
Posted: 1/13/2006 12:41:32 AM
Sex is an activity ( hopefully a fun one ) between two people. And just like any other activity they will bring their personality into bed the same as they do everything else. I believe you should look at the way a person plays. Yes play, just like when you were a kid. What attitude does a person display toward the games they play that are non sexual. Anything at all, checkers, softball, frizbee, whatever.
Do they play rough ? Are they good sports ? Do they play to win, or do they give up easly. Are they poor loosers ? Are they show boats ? Do they trash talk ? Are they imaginative, and strategic ? And most importantly, are they FUN to play with. People reveal themselves in all things they do. Pay attention and you can get a pretty good idea .
 dave1234
Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 110
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How can you predict sexual compatibility?
Posted: 1/13/2006 2:54:37 AM

(Msg 102) This one guy who I had killer chemstry with. We actually dated on and off for 8 months turned out to be the worst lover I have ever had......
I think we should have all our potential lovers fill out a questionaire....what do you think?


I think sexual compatibility should be evaluated early in the relationship. Sure, one takes a chance of being used but wasting eight months is not a pik-nik either.
 dave1234
Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 118
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How can you predict sexual compatibility?
Posted: 2/13/2006 3:16:38 AM

(Msg 120)I did not make love with him till I knew him 8 months. NEVER EVER will I wait that long.


I believe that's why relationships don't last or people have affairs. Sex is the one thing that must be fulfilling in a relationship. Although some folks believe a person can be taught or trained it comes down to changing the person and we all know how difficult it is to change someone, let alone change another person's innate sex drive. It just doesn't happen.

I get the impression from many that they don't want to have sex too early because they don't want to take the chance of being used. Surely investing time in getting to know someone and developing deep feelings only to find out the sex doesn't work must be more disappointing/hurtful/tramatic.

Hmmm, maybe I'll start a post on that topic and see what people think.
 ace76
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 121
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How can you predict sexual compatibility?
Posted: 9/30/2007 12:40:50 AM
Just like any part of a relationship, having a good sex life must be WORKED AT.

You've got to communicate and learn what "does it" for each other, and make it the best thing possible for both of you.

And if either the man or the woman does not make an effort towards this, you're going to have problems.
 dontmakecookies
Joined: 11/1/2006
Msg: 122
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How can you predict sexual compatibility?
Posted: 9/30/2007 1:06:31 AM
I have a simple rule you can adopt if you wish. It helps with sexual compatibility, and pretty much everything else.

Some people have a three date rule before sex or maybe some other kind of rule but I think the only way to really learn about someone is really be intimate with them.

Therefore, the 36 hour rule. You must make out with the person for 36 hours before having sex. Kiss (A LOT), cuddle, fondle, hug, grind, etc.... but do not have sex. You can include all of the intimate time that you talk and hold each other in that 36 hours. Think about it, if you dated someone 3 times you might spend what, 12 hours together? And in that time how much of it was really intimately about getting to know the other person.

With my plan you are open at the outset of what your purpose is, your limits are and your goals. You get very intimate very fast but you don't have sex. You find out lots of things it might take weeks to find out otherwise. And you very quickly learn if your are compatible sexually by reading the way the person if physically intimate and by talking to them about it because all of those things you might be nervous about bringing up in a restaurant come more naturally when you're necking on the sofa.

I'm very interested in some women trying this out and getting back to me on it. :)
 dontmakecookies
Joined: 11/1/2006
Msg: 124
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How can you predict sexual compatibility?
Posted: 9/30/2007 1:44:05 AM
As per my prior post I would have to say I substantially disagree. Someone could surprise you with some details. But fundamental things that can make it truly good or bad are easily predicted, at least down to a couple of possible outcomes. But you need to get to know the person first in order to do that. For example, if you kiss a girl and her whole body tends to move a little bit all the time while you are kissing you can make some pretty good guesses that she's not going to just lay there when you're having sex. If you dance with a girl and she tries to lead and when you kiss her she insists on doing everything her way, you have a pretty good chance that she's going to be particular about what she likes sexually and somewhat less open to exploration. If a girl tells you she has a drawer full of toys you've got a good indication that she really likes to orgasm frequently and that leads to all kinds of good guesses you can make about how she would be in bed. If a woman cannot kiss for crap but is very sexual you can guess that she just likes to get down to business quickly...

The list can go on and on but they key is that you have to spend time with them and get to know them first. I can't say I ever remember being truly surprised by a woman sexually. (I'm sure its happened, I just can't remember it. :) )
 migivadamsbusted
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 130
How can you predict sexual compatibility?
Posted: 9/30/2007 9:35:35 AM
can't predict it, but practice does make perfect...
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 133
How can you predict sexual compatibility?
Posted: 10/1/2007 7:12:49 PM
Solution,

Look for cool character flaws, then you will know the sex is going to be awesome.
 wodehousefan2
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 137
How can you predict sexual compatibility?
Posted: 10/1/2007 8:20:46 PM
Ask questions. Look for signs of violent natures-liking violent sports,/movies/etc. Ask what porn a person likes. Look at recreations...mostly tv sports, or bar hopping, or reading, or what? The more compatibility yu want, the more you have to ask, and observe. Check on criminal record, religious beliefs, etc. The more you cover the better the fit.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 141
How can you predict sexual compatibility?
Posted: 10/1/2007 8:38:43 PM
livingquestion,

Sounds to me like you lost trust on your intuition, as you say "it used to work pretty well." Sensuality is a big trap? You relay on intelligent and respect now? I feel sorry for you. Sensuality, more than sex is very important. Your intellect will not provide you with passion or a channel for your desires. And even though respect is paramount, when you base your relationship on that, you become just like the old Japanese women that did nothing but abide by that code of respect. So live a little.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 144
How can you predict sexual compatibility?
Posted: 10/1/2007 9:07:23 PM

I am perfectly at Peace and content with my little life.

You feel like burning with desire? Please go ahead.


Good for you. I am glad that you are content.

But why just content?

Why little life?

Yes I am burning with desire. But a desire to live. Have you ever heard Mozart's Requiem? Even in the end of life it can be lived with absolute passion. So wake up tomorrow and say to yourself "my little life is an awesome life, and regardless of all the other stuff happening, I am ready to make it mine." Okay, that is a little cheesy. Hehehe. So take care girl. Have fun!
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 146
How can you predict sexual compatibility?
Posted: 10/1/2007 9:39:52 PM

Actually Mozart's Requiem is one of my favourite.


Confutatus! Venedictus! la, la, la lalala. Hahahaha. Good taste girl. Now I hate philosophers. Read them, but got more from Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance. Or the words of the Dalai Lama. Or even Neruda. Life is so irreverently brutal you do two things, push for what you believe, hard, try to help others, gently.

Okay, I am off subject. But it's all related to sexual compatibility. If you're with a person who is a dahhhhh. After the few sexual encounter it will be back to dahhhhhh. If you are with a crazy b@astard, it's al mental, an in the end sex is mental.
 Cat*Eyes
Joined: 9/13/2006
Msg: 147
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How can you predict sexual compatibility?
Posted: 10/1/2007 9:46:37 PM
I do compatibility horoscopes. I always ask every man his complete birthdate. This will at least give me an indication if there could be possible chemistry. That is a foundation to begin with. This no guaranteed all will work , it just shows if it goes anywhere whether their will be chemistry.
 dave1234
Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 152
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How can you predict sexual compatibility?
Posted: 10/2/2007 7:14:03 AM

(Msg 154) I have looked at a lot of profiles, and generally down the page ( where will we first date) is this statement or something that is similar in meaning
"we will go for a drink and see if there is any sparks" or connections."
For the life of me I can not understand how any one would feel or see sparks upon first meeting,……………… Can any one explain this to me?


It’s the same principal as a first impression. Some people we are immediately drawn to and others we aren’t. That doesn’t mean the person is a good person or a bad person. It’s just a certain “something” or some “things” that draw us. It could be a certain look or a certain way they express themselves or just their smile. I believe it’s a lot of factors we are not consciously aware of and, for me, that has to be there.

Why is it important? Although it’s not politically correct I’ll use the following analogy. Let’s suppose you have a chesterfield (sofa/couch) that you inherited or purchased many years ago. You just love the look of that piece of furniture.

As time passes it becomes worn and needs replacing. While some people will just go out and buy a new couch others will have that one upholstered at a cost higher than if they bought a new one. Why?

Or perhaps one purchased that special sports convertible second hand. They’ll spend money on that car when they could get a more efficient automobile for less cost. Why?

The same principal applies to relationships. If the initial attraction is there then one is more likely to put more effort into keeping it.


I am a complex human woman, there are layers and layers to my being.


But when a relationship is based on “qualities” rather than on “feelings” what happens when another person comes along with better qualities? If we’re going to enter a relationship based on logic and quantifiable factors then it’s only logical to dump ones partner when someone with better or additional qualities comes along.

If my priority is a woman’s financial status it’s relatively easy to determine that. If she has a bigger house or better job why would I stay with my present partner? If I’m seeking an empathetic individual and I meet someone who volunteers their time helping the less privileged why would I stay with someone who only donates at holiday time? The point is if I’m with my partner solely because of qualities, which I can readily assess in other individuals, the chances are I will be frequently changing partners.

When it comes to sex how can I possibly know if I’m compatible with another individual? Even if the sparks are there I can not know, for sure, unless and until I have sex with them. Unless there are problems with my current sex life how likely is it I would take a chance to find out if the other person is better? It’s not likely as I would be jeopardizing my current relationship without having proof or anything substantial to go on.

That’s why chemistry, sparks, sex is so important.
 Montreal_Guy
Joined: 3/8/2004
Msg: 153
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How can you predict sexual compatibility?
Posted: 10/2/2007 7:38:54 AM
If you can make a woman laugh, I mean really laugh......
 dave1234
Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 155
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How can you predict sexual compatibility?
Posted: 10/2/2007 8:25:13 AM

(Msg 160) If you can make a woman laugh, I mean really laugh......


Unless it's preceded by them saying, "Yea, riiight" as they're walking away.
 cedar77
Joined: 7/17/2006
Msg: 169
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How can you predict sexual compatibility?
Posted: 10/2/2007 7:04:57 PM
IMHO......
Men are different than women. Guys are more prone to have chemistry for someone they find reasonably attractive. Guys will pursue such a woman but it might well wear off in time. Then they will get labelled a player.
I think that it is simple .....most every guy that meets a girl that he finds very attractive and she treats him well.....then there is no limit to how far it will go. That does not mean guys are "too picky"
It's when a guy is with someone who is "just ok" then , that creates potential trouble .
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