Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > At what point do you give up on Romance?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 HeavenlyTurtle
Joined: 4/3/2006
Msg: 176
At what point do you give up on Romance?Page 8 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
Kerry, thank you for this thread. I, too, have my days when I'd like to just give up. They are only days or moments though and not forever! The history of romance runs too deep in my family for me to give up.

My great-grandmother married the man her father picked out for her. She raised a family, and loved and supported him in his calling as a minister. They had a long life together and then he died. After a decent interval, the son of her child-hood sweetheart came to her with his father's request to call on her. This man had kept track of his first love throughout the long years. He, too, had married and raised a family and lost his spouse. Needless to say, my great-grandmother said yes. They began dating and then they started talking of marriage. Their children were not happy about it. They said they were much too old to be getting married. And so, my great-grandmother eloped with her child-hood sweetheart! She was 80, he was 82.

When her grand-daughter was 80, my widowed mother, she moved into a retirement community. It didn't take long for the fellows to start flocking around her. Today she is 88 and her boyfriend is 94. She told me yesterday he treats her good!

Gee Whiz! I hope we don't have to wait until we're in our 80's!!!

I really enjoyed reading this thread. I got a lot out of it, including some laughs, and I wanted to share the stories.

I hope you'll come back and give us an update. HT
 DeepC
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 177
At what point do you give up on Romance?
Posted: 5/17/2006 2:21:06 AM
Can't give up on something I never believed in. Sure I'd like it, but it'll never happen
 dave1234
Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 178
view profile
History
At what point do you give up on Romance?
Posted: 5/17/2006 3:43:16 AM
(Msg 179) When her grand-daughter was 80, my widowed mother, she moved into a retirement community. It didn't take long for the fellows to start flocking around her. Today she is 88 and her boyfriend is 94. She told me yesterday he treats her good!

Gee Whiz! I hope we don't have to wait until we're in our 80's!!!


When my time comes to look for a retirement home it won't be about location, location, location. It will be about who are the current residents, residents, residents.
 LIL_STARBABY
Joined: 9/4/2006
Msg: 179
At what point do you give up on Romance?
Posted: 10/8/2006 7:13:12 AM
you dont like i said you might miss her if you do........
 angie6996
Joined: 8/14/2006
Msg: 180
view profile
History
At what point do you give up on Romance?
Posted: 10/8/2006 7:45:50 AM
jigalojuicy,
i think in alot of ways i agree with what youve said. women can look at it as a weakness in a guy if hes too mushy or does too much to please a woman. unfortunately we want a balance thats hard for a man to achieve. we want manly men,yet someone thats a little tender at the right time.most men seem to go too far one way or the other. and it turns her off before she even really gets to see what youre like.
but as a girl its important for a woman to feel safe hence the need for a manly man...yet know he cares enough to do something thats not exactly easy for him like doing something romantic. i wish we could enjoy what yall do without looking for a hidden motive but unfortunately most have been screwed over enough that they cant help it. you men do things that make us feel that way...like why ask a girl to spend the night with you just because ya went out and had a great date? you think were flattered that youd **** us right after meeting us? its stupid and hurtful!
but we keep going...and we keep looking...hoping and praying to find a good one in the bunch. personally i wont stop looking for a good man if only to be friends with him. good luck with finding a good woman too~

angie
 judypatudy
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 181
At what point do you give up on Romance?
Posted: 10/8/2006 7:51:33 AM
I think I give up now..
But I am older than you at a young 52..
But damn I am so tired of trying and looking
knowing every man just wants sex or someone
younger than me..
Kinda giving me a complex here..
makes me sad
Judy
 FKA ~dsl4340~
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 182
At what point do you give up on Romance?
Posted: 10/8/2006 8:00:06 AM
I'm damn tired of it to Judy...but I refuse to give up...there has got to be a guy out there that wants romance. The comments from guys "how about a friend with benefits" no thank you. And the first date when they pull out the money to pay for dinner and OOPS the condem is sticking out... No desert!
 Subotai
Joined: 1/31/2006
Msg: 183
At what point do you give up on Romance?
Posted: 10/8/2006 8:12:58 AM
heres the deal...you give up on romance becuase it hasnt worked basically means youre giving up on yourself...

romance is a state of mind..if you let the "failures" of your romantic relationships...well than I doubt you ever really believed..

we all know that most relationships dont work...but I for one "still want to believe."

that thought alone is what seperates the romantic souls from those who have let thier failures be the basis to judge romance.

 annasthasia
Joined: 5/4/2005
Msg: 184
At what point do you give up on Romance?
Posted: 10/8/2006 9:16:26 AM
I hope I help somewhat... but I am only trying to share and hopefully make some one else think about my words ... I so do not want to sound mean...

1- Why are you taking men to your place on a second date??? I truly believe that you are giving a subliminal message...

2- I am going to sound cruel... It is not my point... I read a comment on a forum a while ago... I forget which one...A man had said that it is "easy" to have sex if you find an average, boderline in looks and/or fat woman... They have low self and it is easy... Just tell them they are pretty and they give you anything... (I swear I am not making this up!!!)

3- Then... There are these "men" that enjoy bigger women, but are ashamed to be seen in public with them... Stay away from those...

I know my words sound hard, but sadly it is truthful... My very good friend is a very big girl... She is a chemical engineer... Extremely intelligent and to my eyes gorgeous... I will go anywhere with her and we travel together and I am not ashamed... In any way... but sometimes... I feel "weird"... I hear comments that men say to themsleves when they are speaking of her and it is within my ear shot and they are unpostable... A lot of men are cruel when it comes to obese women...

Now... I suggest that you stand tall... Date and experience with a man that will take you out to a nice restaurant... He will pull the chair for you and yes... court you...

When a man does that it is COMMON COURTEOUSY... It doesn't mean you will open your legs... It is just what I figure is NORMAL behaviour from a decent man... It has nothing to do with sex... Go up many many notches when you date...

I am not a goddess by any means... Doors are opened for me... I also open doors for others... (ie: women with strollers, elderly ladies and yes some men that do not expect it... It is cool to see the look of complete suprise... It fun to do... )

I have "almost" always been treated well by men... You have to "believe" that you are worth it!

I have tried to broach the subject with my girlfriend, but... It is a very painful issue for her... She is strong and well... She goes on her life path... I do hope she finds the man of her dreams, because she is so so worth it ...

Please read with an open mind... Stand tall... be proud and be more assertive and independant and do not let men that just want to boink you or put you down... In my eyes they are not worth your time nor your energy...

I just feel it has to be said... Forgive me if I have hurt you... It was not my intent... I was just trying to help...
 Lord Tyranus
Joined: 8/6/2006
Msg: 185
At what point do you give up on Romance?
Posted: 10/8/2006 9:23:12 AM
Hmm... About 11 hours ago.
 angie6996
Joined: 8/14/2006
Msg: 186
view profile
History
At what point do you give up on Romance?
Posted: 10/8/2006 9:55:42 AM
1- Why are you taking men to your place on a second date??? I truly believe that you are giving a subliminal message...
wtf? so i cant invite a guy over to eat a nice dinner unless im ready to sleep with him? thats sad and wrong.
2- 2- A man had said that it is "easy" to have sex if you find an average, boderline in looks and/or fat woman... They have low self and it is easy... Just tell them they are pretty and they give you anything... (I swear I am not making this up!!!)
yep thats how most think.sorry ass men!damn i wish i was gay sometimes! but i refuse to give up on them. somewhere is a good one.

angie
 kmhstx
Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 187
At what point do you give up on Romance?
Posted: 10/8/2006 10:24:51 AM
Ok I find it very ironic that I found this thread that I started many months ago right now.
Because right now because I haven't given up on myself or romance I am with a absolutely WONDERFUL caring sweet man. I waited and have been patient getting to know him on the phone for 7 months. He has always been a gentleman always calling when he can (family health issues prevent it from been everyday). But this weekend we are finally together...and it is AMAZING.
For along time awhile ago I might not have thought I was worthy of someone who treated me with respect,even though that is what I wanted. I know different now. And so I have a man that will treat me with respect.
I just want to say a special thank you to some of the posters here because I listened to your advice. And I am very greatful, and amazingly it probably changed my life alittle bit. So much love!
 annasthasia
Joined: 5/4/2005
Msg: 188
At what point do you give up on Romance?
Posted: 10/8/2006 10:28:07 AM
Angie1134...

OK... I suppose that is the "meaning" that came across when I asked why you are taking men over to your place on a second date...

Yes... To me anyway... there is truth to it... I am a viavcious woman and when I invite a man to my "crib"... (I just like the sound of that expression... )... I suppose, I do open myself up to the opportunity of intimacy... IF I AM INTERESTED IN HIM IN THAT WAY and NOT on a second date... I guess... It is a cultural thing or just a way for me to communicate my desire to boink without being too forward ... LOL...

I understand your point... But, looking from a man's perspective ... A woman that I barely know, asks me over to her "place" on a second date... From a man's perspective wouldn't that open the door to the "possibiliy" of intimacy? MEN out there... please comment???

If you are dating "a friend" and do "friend" things... Yes, I see your point... Coming over for diner is not a big deal... Someone that makes your hormones light up and makes you want to multiply... well,... that is an other issue... Understand my point???

Now I am confused with myself...
 annasthasia
Joined: 5/4/2005
Msg: 189
At what point do you give up on Romance?
Posted: 10/8/2006 10:54:41 AM
I am so so happy for you Kerrymh...
 METALLlC BLUE
Joined: 5/17/2006
Msg: 190
At what point do you give up on Romance?
Posted: 10/8/2006 1:14:17 PM
Your life will become that which you spend the majority of your time thinking about. If you think everyone will disappoint you, they will. If you focus on yourself, on being the person you'd like others to be towards you -- your success will be.
 Darcy2006
Joined: 2/24/2006
Msg: 191
At what point do you give up on Romance?
Posted: 10/8/2006 4:31:01 PM
I'm one of those exceptions to the rule. I have been waiting all my life to find someone special. I would love for someone to give me a chance to show them what real romance is like. All you women out there that have been treated like pieces of meat, I'm sorry you had to go through that. All women deserve better than that. Some guys just don't realize how lucky they are. Keep looking ladies:) some of us are looking for long term commitments and some of us care about how you feel. Not all of us are just looking for a good time.
 passion4pink
Joined: 9/17/2006
Msg: 192
At what point do you give up on Romance?
Posted: 10/8/2006 4:32:04 PM
never give up but don't look too hard, it will find you when you aren't expecting it.
 Darbie28
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 193
At what point do you give up on Romance?
Posted: 10/8/2006 5:07:01 PM
Well Sweetie,

I am 49 years old, been married twice (been single for 5 years now) have 2 beautiful children and 5 grandchildren and I just met the love of my life about 2 months ago. Thought I was doing fine as a single person. Did not date or have any intimate encounters for 5 years and then all of sudden he come into my life and rocked my world. I believe it will happen when you least expect it.
 angie6996
Joined: 8/14/2006
Msg: 194
view profile
History
At what point do you give up on Romance?
Posted: 10/9/2006 7:46:11 AM
ok i get your point. and i know what you said was right...it just sux i guess is my comment on it.
knowing how guys think, i'd have to admit i dont invite men to my place until i know them enuff to know they wont stalk me or think im slutty for doing it.
i just want a man i can bring home and watch a good movie and eat some good food without him mauling me. let me do the mauling when im ready.
its not that i dont want sex as bad as they do....its just not so important that im willing to do them on the first damn date...surely not worth getting some disease for or dying.
men seem to not think any about their future when it comes to getting laid. all thought process ceases to work properly when they get hard. sad i know, but true.

you said i might not like what you said, and i didnt ,but ya cant kill the messanger .so i apologize if i came off as harsh. your honesty is appriciated.

angie
 Wild Heart
Joined: 4/3/2006
Msg: 195
At what point do you give up on Romance?
Posted: 10/9/2006 10:00:08 AM
I have never given up on romance - but romance need not entail any money. I'd rather get a bouquet from my guy that he picked himself rather than a store bought one. Don't get me wrong, I do like it when men pay for things, but it is not what keeps me around in the long run. If you think about it, some men use their money an ulterior motive or to impress people. That's not impressive to me. I think that some men are too hung up on this whole "golddigger" thing and women are too hung up on the fact that men don't spend enough money on them.
 strangebloom
Joined: 6/30/2005
Msg: 196
At what point do you give up on Romance?
Posted: 10/9/2006 10:06:00 AM

I have never ever had a guy take me out to dinner at a non fast food place. I have never had a guy open doors for me. I have never ever had even a single romantic gesture from any man in my life... And I am not talking about spending money on me. There are so many other ways to do this.


I am sorry to hear this. :( Men used to be taught manners. But I think that this went out the window as women became more empowered and its a damn shame because there is no reason that these two things couldn't coexist.


Does anyone else have this issue? Does anyone else feel like giving up and settling for one of the guys mentioned in my above date synapsis? lol I know this is kind of a downer but this is just one of those times.


Two things.

1) No, don't give up. There is a good man out there somewhere that you will be good for too.

2) Do try to look at these other guys a little harder and see if you might be missing some gems for a rough exterior... Some guys clean up well. ;)

I know that these sound opposite, but I don't think they are. Anyways, good luck! :)
 kmhstx
Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 197
At what point do you give up on Romance?
Posted: 10/9/2006 10:09:03 AM
Ok, since I started this dang thing here is romance to me:
Whispering in my ear that I am beautiful...and that my smile kills him...and meaning it!
Carrying my bags from the lobby of the airport all the way home..even though its obviously akward for him.
Making sure all my comforts are taken care off.
Remembering something I said in the past...ie I like diet coke lol and having diet coke in the house for me.
All these things are really not expensive....they just show caring and the desire to make someone feel special.
Sure nice restaurants are great.
A night out is fun.
But its the day to day stuff....thats what the relationship has to be built on. That to me is where the real romance is important.
Thank goodness I was patient enough to experience it for myself.
 strangebloom
Joined: 6/30/2005
Msg: 198
At what point do you give up on Romance?
Posted: 10/9/2006 10:13:33 AM
Oh, my God. I answered a thread that was like 10 months old. :(

Congrats on your successes Kerry!
 kmhstx
Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 199
At what point do you give up on Romance?
Posted: 10/9/2006 10:15:20 AM
lol yeah but that was still great advice...thank you.lol I don't know how it got started up again...but I find the timing of it altogether very funny.
 squeak365
Joined: 10/1/2006
Msg: 200
At what point do you give up on Romance?
Posted: 10/9/2006 10:33:21 AM
Next time a guy asks you for head on a second date, tell him you have Mandibular Reactionism...in other words, if something is put IN your mouth, it causes you to bite, HARD!!! Then sit there and laugh...

squeak
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > At what point do you give up on Romance?