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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)      Home login  
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 Wh1te_Rabb1t
Joined: 7/3/2010
Msg: 226
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)Page 10 of 25    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25)

I've worked at my current company for 5 years now, and I've never had to produce any certification of my university degree to prove I actually attended and graduated with the grade I have declared.


As long as your employer has your Social Security number, it takes nothing to pull up someone's academic transcripts from a college or other institution with or without you knowing. Any HR manager worth their salt verifies any degree within days of deciding to look into a candidate.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 227
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/25/2012 8:53:13 AM
Dominic, I never get why someone doesn't google things like LOS. I suppose if you were 60 and never had a computer, I could understand your lack of ablitiy to use google.

I see tons of terms I never saw before, like ONS / NSA, I just google them and now I know what they mean.

LOS is land of smiles.

When you are younger than 25, it is easy to meet tons of women, so that may have been it.

With a hostile attitude it is going to show once you meet someone, it doesn't matter how you tweak your profile. Unlike you, I always knew from the time I first started dating actively at age of 30 that it was more difficult to meet women because I was 5.5. Being online actual makes it easier to date, but at that time they didn't have internet dating.

But for you online dating made you discover that women are biased, I knew it already. Men are biased as well.

Women are more senstive to feelings than are men, so bottling up your feelings isn't likely won't work either. They will sense you are hiding something.

But I was very lucky in that when I was 23 I met a great younger women who was 5.7, we were both virgins at the time. I had a great LTR and fantastic sex for a very long time. I never realized it at the time, but I was spoiled by thinking all women were like that. But I am guessing women also sense that I am comfortable with their bodies and I like women as friends as well.

I gave you other options to help change your attitude, such as helping out others less fortunate than you. It would help to develop more people skills and empathy for others.

If you can afford it, you could enter therapy, but LOS is a more fun option, you could go for 2 weeks. But being as naive as you sound (IE, you just discovered women are biased), likely you would get into some other sort of problem.

I am really not pushing one thing or another, just giving you options that would work, but I suspect like many you don't think outside the box.

ciao, and by that I mean, I am out of options or sugggestions.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 228
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/25/2012 9:13:56 AM
wtyl

Indeed. I got a couple/few messages from someone yesterday and in every single one (including the first he sent) he mentioned his height, called himself short, talked about the height of women who were contacting him.

I never had put limits in my searches and wouldn't have even looked at that had he not mentioned it.

Sometimes the elephant in the room really isn't there, perhaps??


The elephant in the room is really like a small horse. It is there, but if a man is insecure and / or angry about it, the horse grows into an elephant.

I am sure I missed out on dating a few really great tall women only because I never pursue them. Now days, a tall women would have to pursue me at least a little before I got interested, I like shorter women because it is more convenient. Like having someone sit in my lap, hard do to when they are 5.8 or taller.
 Wh1te_Rabb1t
Joined: 7/3/2010
Msg: 229
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/25/2012 10:25:46 AM
I limit my search to women at 5'10" (two inches taller) - the 'Market' for ladies taller that would actually date someone my height is negligible. Do I screen women out because of height? Sure, if you really want to get technical about it.

I did a few comparison searches for men by height (in my area) while on Match.com - the median height is between 5'9" and 5'10". Any woman screening out guys shorter than 5'10" is eliminating HALF of the market right off the bat without any other criteria. Me screening out women over 5'10" is about 10-15%.

For those of you weak at math, there is a BIG difference between 50% and 15%. Sure, it's always going to be your preference - but it's also your funeral if you refuse to acknowledge there is a bigger world out there.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 230
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/25/2012 10:57:16 AM
I believe 5'10" would be quite a bit higher than 85th percentile for women in the US, probably more like 98th percentile.
 good_catch77
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 231
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/25/2012 11:37:49 AM

I still agree with everyone who has argued how dishonest it is to lie about your height/age/figure/income/marital status/health/education/etc - but I can't blame people for doing what they feel they have to do to find happiness.


I agree with most of what you said on the post, esp this. I may not agree with what these guys are doing, but I would understand the why. Like my compassion earlier with the padded bra...not every woman pads their bra (even if they aren't ample size) but most women understand the why...even if she is lying to the guys. It's "understood".

It is what it is. Even though one day karma is going to come up and bite the majority of them sooner or later. Both the short guy and woman with the padded bra who is lying.
 DomG79
Joined: 3/12/2011
Msg: 232
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/25/2012 1:16:29 PM

I see tons of terms I never saw before, like ONS / NSA, I just google them and now I know what they mean.

LOS is land of smiles.

When you are younger than 25, it is easy to meet tons of women, so that may have been it.

With a hostile attitude it is going to show once you meet someone, it doesn't matter how you tweak your profile. Unlike you, I always knew from the time I first started dating actively at age of 30 that it was more difficult to meet women because I was 5.5. Being online actual makes it easier to date, but at that time they didn't have internet dating.

But for you online dating made you discover that women are biased, I knew it already. Men are biased as well.

Women are more senstive to feelings than are men, so bottling up your feelings isn't likely won't work either. They will sense you are hiding something.

But I was very lucky in that when I was 23 I met a great younger women who was 5.7, we were both virgins at the time. I had a great LTR and fantastic sex for a very long time. I never realized it at the time, but I was spoiled by thinking all women were like that. But I am guessing women also sense that I am comfortable with their bodies and I like women as friends as well.

I gave you other options to help change your attitude, such as helping out others less fortunate than you. It would help to develop more people skills and empathy for others.

If you can afford it, you could enter therapy, but LOS is a more fun option, you could go for 2 weeks. But being as naive as you sound (IE, you just discovered women are biased), likely you would get into some other sort of problem.

I am really not pushing one thing or another, just giving you options that would work, but I suspect like many you don't think outside the box.

ciao, and by that I mean, I am out of options or sugggestions.


I tried therapy, didn't work. All they want to do is peddle antidepressants, which are another deal breaker. My attitude will change when my luck changes. If my luck doesn't change, my attitude will worsen. Hopefully, I won't live to be very old if that's how I have to go through life. I'm glad you are out of suggestions, because they were not helping me. I appreciate the effort.
 Wh1te_Rabb1t
Joined: 7/3/2010
Msg: 233
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/26/2012 10:30:03 AM
Work out. Exercise. Train for a marathon. You can't have any time to feel miserable for yourself if you are too tired after working out. Getting active makes it easier to sleep, relax, and getting OUT there and exercise increases your chances to meet someone under healthy circumstances.

Depression does not make a person sad. Sad people get depressed. Depression is a disease that robs you of focus, and some get to the point where they cannot even tie their shoes in the morning without someone telling them. Exercise sharpens your focus. I felt like sh*t after my divorce, but I stayed physically active and kept my mind working on other things so I didn't let that 'feeling sorry for myself' feeling take over. I haven't taken (or needed) a single antidepressant drug in the last 20 years.
 wtyl
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 234
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/26/2012 10:46:09 AM

I tried therapy, didn't work. All they want to do is peddle antidepressants, which are another deal breaker. My attitude will change when my luck changes. If my luck doesn't change, my attitude will worsen. Hopefully, I won't live to be very old if that's how I have to go through life.


sigh, it seems like this can start to be a bit of a self-fulfilling thing. Bad luck leads to bad attitude which leads to worse luck.

Yes to the ^^^^^^ on exercise.

I did my first half-marathon last year at age 51. I trained to try to cure a broken heart and while it may not have done that exactly, it REALLY helped with a lot of things.

Not all therapists push antidepressants, not all therapists are going to be right for you - finding the right one can be challenging like finding the right person to date, or work for, or .....

Your last statement (in the quote) is a bit of a red flag though - if you feel that way and express that to a therapist, they are likely going to want to intervene.
 Justcheckingfor1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 235
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/26/2012 10:54:51 AM
It is never fun being passed over by every single woman one is attracted to. Especially if it is just because of someones height. But as I stated in an earlier post, if you don't make a big deal about it, no one else will. I know plenty of married people who tell me to not ever get married or, you are so lucky that you get to live your life all alone. The grass is not always greener on the other side. I used to hate being short, but these days I love being a short dude. It has enabled me to live a drama free life and the ability to come home and do whatever the heck I want to.
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 236
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/26/2012 4:14:38 PM

either they feel the grass will always be greener "if only" or they simply choose to find *some* reason to blame for every lack of success they encounter; if it wasn't height it would be something else entirely.


True enough.
Do you know any TALL people with perfect lives, or do they just complain about something else they don't have?

 DomG79
Joined: 3/12/2011
Msg: 237
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/26/2012 10:26:53 PM

I'm in the same boat you are, so I can understand your frustration completley. I'm only 5'10", and a lot of guys our age are north of that. My growth was stunted when I was a teenager to stop me from going deaf. Never mind the fact that the rest of the guys in my family are north of six feet, and my genes are good. I don't drink alcohol either. So, that gives you a better chance than I do of being "picked". It's very disappointing to be passed over by someone you are attracted to, for reasons you believe you have no control over. Women say that they want guys to like/love them for who they are on the inside, and not for their bodies/what's on the outside, etc. I'm pretty sure that this isn't the case when they are looking for someone. If you aren't Brad Pitt or Donald Trump(think about it), then you are automatically disqualified for whatever shallow reason. Most attractive women these days have a laundry list of qualifications that a man must satisfy in order to be "considered". That screams "entitled princess", and unfortunatley it's becoming more common. That's why a lot of guys this day-and-age are giving up on relationships/dating completley.

My suggestion to you is to focus on yourself. I know you said you were in Graduate school. So am I, and I suggest you focus the attention you are giving the dating thing on your studies. Your success academically, and eventually professionally, will far outshine any superficial success you may have with women. Also, you may want to participate in some sort of hobby, or something that you enjoy doaing. For me personally, I'm in the gym daily. I have made many friends there, and although the dating thing bugs me to no end, my friends at the gym make up for it, as far as having people to do things with. I'm also a big pet guy, soI have to take care of them.

Don't let the lack of results discourage you. You have a lot to be proud of. Not everyone makes it itnto Grad school. If a woman isn't interested for whatever reason, then it's their loss. When their "perfect" guy has a bad day and uses them as a punching bag, then it's not really our problem. We gave them options.


No, I am not in grad school, just regular 4 year college. I try to make time to go to the gym from time to time, but then I go to work extremely tired the next day. I've fallen out of my routine with my school and work schedule in the past, but now that I am mainly doing online classes, I could possibly go more regularly. I really don't show a negative attitude outside of internet dating or posting in this forum. People enjoy having me around for the most part. A also don't drink, and no one really holds that against me. I'd often go shooting to relieve stress. I've had a few different therapists in the past, and I have no desire to talk to any more. Even if there was one out there that could help me, I'd put myself in debt paying them, which would make me beyond depressed.

As far as me focusing on myself, I do that all of the time. After awhile, I feel like there is something that I need, but apparently cannot have. I still get good grades in school, do my job effectively at work, and people who know me think the world of me. I was suicidal in the past, I am not anymore. I grew up poor and often felt like a second class citizen, now I have a house with no roommates. I've avoided getting in any trouble with the law, which would be easy, but where I live, cops invent reasons to bust people. All and all, I have worked for everything I've had, and I have a lot to be proud of.

As far as my attitude, many people don't see it. I let them get to know me for who I am. If they are a true friend, they understand my struggles and they don't judge me.

As far as me venting online and taking out frustrations on a dating site forum, it doesn't really define who I am, it only defines a seemingly impossible obstacle that has been a part of my life for a long time.

As far as the topic at hand, my height, it hasn't bothered me outside of online dating. I said that previously, I will say it again. I don't wish I was taller, I like who I am.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 238
view profile
History
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/27/2012 5:32:06 PM
"i had one man lie to me once stating he was about 6ft tall and had a big DONG! i am 5'9. he turned out to be 4'11."

Maybe it was big in relation to his real height.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 239
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/27/2012 5:48:00 PM

i had one man lie to me once stating he was about 6ft tall and had a big DONG! i am 5'9. he turned out to be 4'11.


A guy told you that and you went ahead and met him anyway?
 good_catch77
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 240
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/27/2012 9:54:02 PM

i had one man lie to me once stating he was about 6ft tall and had a big DONG! i am 5'9. he turned out to be 4'11.


What if he said he was 4'11" and had a small dong, then when you meet him he was actually 6' tall..(and had a big dong)...would you be as miffed for him lying, since he painted a bad picture and ended up being better?
 CheezyChick
Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 241
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/27/2012 11:03:38 PM

i had one man lie to me once stating he was about 6ft tall and had a big DONG! i am 5'9. he turned out to be 4'11.

so yes i would say for me it is important, it was an awkward night and to be honest i felt i was walking around with my son and felt a little embarrassed about it. i could see in his face he was mortified but he should have told the truth about his height, its his own fault and i don't feel bad at all as he cheated himself.

i don't mind dating someone maybe one inch shorter than me but that's about my limit.

And before you judge me for my comments/requirements he also lied about not having other girlfirends, had several on the go - found out by accident when he sent an email to everyone on his contacts list and a couple of us contacted each other


Well I am utterly shocked that a man would 'enhance' the size of his DONG?! Utterly unfair....hmmmm....thinking about stocking that 'purse-pocket-measuring tape thing' again now.....

Lest those judge you who would not be judged themselves....or something like that. I can understand the height thing....but about those girlfriends and stuff....he should burn in hell.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 242
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/28/2012 8:28:31 AM
CheezyChick, too bad there isn't a field that lets women decribe how tight is her vagina?

But I have never seen a medical device the gives stats on this important dating criteria. Something along the lines of width, depth, and pounds per square inch squeeze power.

Life is so damm unfair, everyone can see how tall I am, do I have a big gut or not, as soon as I get naked my dong is pretty obvious, but women get to hide all the important details

 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 243
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/28/2012 8:39:51 AM
Whilst in a bar one night, I did ask this midget to dance with me, she only came up to my belt. Which would make her 3 feet tall. My mind was spinning about the possiblites.

We went to a booth for a beer, and we started to make out. But she had a sort of stubble on her face. Bearded midget? Guy with fake tits?

Major turnoff for me.

Later I checked on line and it turns out many height challanged women have hormone problems causing beards to grow. My bad, maybe I missed out on an exciting relationship or more than likely short term fling.

So I guess I am just as shallow as many women.
 BMB81
Joined: 1/2/2012
Msg: 244
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/28/2012 11:28:32 AM
I'm an Amazon and yes, in my profile I say I want a man 6'2 or taller, but it's not because I have a problem with it. When I have been out with men who claim to be my height and I'm an inch or two taller than them, they make a huge deal out of it saying I'm lying about my height and I'm really 6'0! In all honesty, I have measured myself several times and barefoot I'm 5'10 sometimes 5'10.5 if I've been stretching. Point is, most men will say they are 6' or 5'10 when they are really an inch or two shorter. I have dated guys who were as short as 5'7 and it didn't bother me. Nicest guy I ever dated was 5'7, still one of my closest friends 12 years later. It's all about comfort, not all of us are shallow, but some men put on their profiles "no fatties" and it doesn't bother me, lets me know not to waste my time messaging them if it's not their thing. I get a lot of tall men message me now, where before I was getting a lot of men who were average height.
 DomG79
Joined: 3/12/2011
Msg: 245
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/28/2012 4:37:59 PM

Nicest guy I ever dated was 5'7, still one of my closest friends 12 years later. It's all about comfort, not all of us are shallow, but some men put on their profiles "no fatties" and it doesn't bother me, lets me know not to waste my time messaging them if it's not their thing.


At least you gave that guy a chance, and you seemed to have gained something from it.
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 246
view profile
History
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/28/2012 8:49:34 PM
My height requirements are simply that she has to be shorter than me, which doesn't discriminate that many women.

People really don't have control over their height, their weight, however is a different story.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 247
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/29/2012 10:30:22 AM
Can you explain why women under 5'3" tend to have a preference for guys TALLER than 5'10", yet women that are only slightly taller (5'6")tend to prefer guys that are their own height or maybe 2-3" taller?

Actually, some time ago when posting on a thread of this nature on these forums, I decided to do an analysis on something related to that. I went on another site with many preferences, one being height, and decided to see what "shorter" girls prefered vs "taller" girls. I went with women with height preferences, under 45 who, IMO, wouldn't be seen as unattractive to many guys 25-35, no disabilities, no odd demographic they sit in to throw things off, etc. Basically, a majority of girls 5'3" and under demand guys being significantly taller than they (5'8"+ min usually), and tall women 5'9" or taller just need a guy a little taller than they or maybe even same height sometimes (good luck finding that w/ short girls). In the end, it's not about a guy being taller than they so much. Most just don't want one of the noticeably short guys in the room.

I guess women tend to be far more forthright and adamant about their dating preferences when searching speculatively on a dating site than they might be when encountering random guys they meet in real life

Absolutely. More picky. More stat-oriented. I think it's a combination of more attention than IRL for a gal when online (pickiness increases as expected) + online profiles being stat-oriented in and of itself. IRL is not stat-oriented and it's the experience itself of engaging with someone that brings things forth. Due to any reason, for any guy's height, if you're a good marketable experience IRL, and not so great stat-wise "on paper", you'll find online dating sites not as fruitful as mingling/meeting IRL.
 Happy2Day
Joined: 2/10/2011
Msg: 249
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/29/2012 2:20:14 PM
I am 5 ft 7 and really prefer a guy taller then me (and gulp - I wear heels all time). I rarely find myself attracted to a man under 6 ft, however, it happens (this summer I dated a guy who was 5 ft 6).
 AngelofHonesty
Joined: 1/4/2012
Msg: 250
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/30/2012 1:05:38 AM
Speaking for myself, tall men are sexier. Not taking anything away from an attractive man that may not be over 6 feet. My first ex husband was 5'7", but I was younger and height didn't matter to me as much....today I wouldn't date anyone 5'7", just a preference of mine. Yes many may say I could be missing out on a great opportunity by having a height preference in men, oh well then I guess I will miss out, because I'm not going to change my standards to appease others, plain and simple. Everyone has some characteristics in the opposite sex that turns them on, and well tall men are a definite turn on for me!
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)