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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)      Home login  
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 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 276
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)Page 12 of 25    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25)
halcyon_skies


It might very well be a stereotype---however, that doesn't change the fact that in my personal experience, the men that I've encountered who were shorter than 5'8", tended to have lower self-esteem, and were often more abusive. It is what it is.


It seems true to me also, and I am a short guy. But maybe when some tall man has low self-esteem you think it is a personal problem while when someone short has low self-esteem then we think it is because they are short.

And when society demeans a group, it tends to create resentment and low self-esteem in that group.

Nothing anyone can do about it, so tough cookies.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 277
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/30/2012 2:10:31 PM

I didn't dislike your opinion, I objected to the use of a stereotype.


Naa, it's not the fact that my opinion just happens to coincide with a stereotype that you object to. Any stereotyping would be fine with you just as long as you agreed with it. Sometimes stereotyping is good and even necessary, e.g. in cases of national security---not to mention that there's usually an element of truth behind a stereotype.


What dog do I have in this fight? I'm very close to median height, I'm neither tall nor short.


Allow me to refresh your memory by quoting part of the the OP:


I come across women with ads or chatting with online, that have a strict criteria for certian heights, mostly of what I have noticed, that it's 6 feet or taller, NO less, or he's out.

Sometimes this come from the more superficial women who are of typical height, like between 5'4" and 5'6", their reason.....they'd be taller than the dude or just as tall in HEELS. lol.



I've had to prove many hypotheses, it's what I do for a living. I have learned to rely on hard data more than anything else.


That's fine if you are doing it to earn a living---however, this thread is about women's height preferences and their reasons behind them. Proving hypotheses is not applicable in this thread.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 278
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/30/2012 2:25:30 PM
halcyon_skies, There is an obvious selection bias when claiming short men are often more abusive to women.

Happily married short men, or short men in LTR, are not available to date. Abusive men with short tempers are always looking for a new date. So you see more of them.

Studies also show that the happiest long term relationships are where the man feels he is less attractive than his mate. The man then takes better care of the spouse, doesn't fool around and doesn't want to lose her. The women then feels more secure and desires to stay in the relationship.

If the man is more attractive, he is more likey to engage in affairs outside of the relationship.

I wonder if there are any studies of divorce and the relative heights of the couple? I doubt it.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 279
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/30/2012 4:09:11 PM
Naa, it's not the fact that my opinion just happens to coincide with a stereotype that you object to. Any stereotyping would be fine with you just as long as you agreed with it. Sometimes stereotyping is good and even necessary, e.g. in cases of national security---not to mention that there's usually an element of truth behind a stereotype.


Stereotypes are not fine with me. I consistently object to them regardless of whether I'm the one being stereotyped. I can't object to every single one posted on this site, there are too many and I'm only one person. So I tend to point them out to people who I think are smart enough to know better than to use them.

It doesn't matter to me if someone says tall men are more likely to beat up their woman or if they say short men are more likely. Either statement is idiotic.

Stereotyping in the name of national security and law enforcement leads to innocent people being incarcerated. I don't see much good in that.


That's fine if you are doing it to earn a living---however, this thread is about women's height preferences and their reasons behind them. Proving hypotheses is not applicable in this thread.


If you go back through my posts on this thread, you will find that I have consistently supported women's right to have their physical preferences. What I object to are the negative stereotypes that are being offered as excuses to back up the preferences.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 280
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/30/2012 5:31:32 PM
Paderic, I have a way to solve this.

Short men should form a victim group, and lobby congress to pass a law. Every women that dates has to have 1 out of 10 dates with a man at let me think, 5.5 or lower height.

Finally, a law that will benefit me.
 good_catch77
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 281
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/30/2012 5:36:30 PM

If you go back through my posts on this thread, you will find that I have consistently supported women's right to have their physical preferences. What I object to are the negative stereotypes that are being offered as excuses to back up the preferences


Like plus 10....I agree a 110%. I can care less about preferences, you're lying if you say you don't have any. But I am 110% against negatively stereotyping someone based on a physical preference. Like I said if a man negatively stereotyped a woman based on a physical preference the bash wagon would be full speed ahead.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 282
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/30/2012 6:03:08 PM

Stereotypes are not fine with me. I consistently object to them regardless of whether I'm the one being stereotyped. I can't object to every single one posted on this site, there are too many and I'm only one person. So I tend to point them out to people who I think are smart enough to know better than to use them.


Ahhh, but see, I formed my opinion of short men due to my own negative experiences with them---not because of any negative stereotypes. If no negative stereotype for short men already existed, I'd have still arrived at the very same conclusion. I'm being chastised by you simply because enough other people have had similar experiences to mine, that a negative stereotype was born.


It doesn't matter to me if someone says tall men are more likely to beat up their woman or if they say short men are more likely. Either statement is idiotic.


I would agree with you IF someone stated that as a fact. I didn't do that---I stated it as my own personal experience. Many people refuse to date those that are less than a certain height, smokers, overweight, separated, widowed, have young kids at home---or any myriad of other reasons, because they've had bad experiences with members of those groups---NOT because of negative stereotypes that may or may not exist.

If a woman dated three separated men, and they each dumped her to go back to their wives, and she then told you she wouldn't date any more separated men because it's been her experience that they go back to their wives, would you call her idiotic and tell her she was stereotyping separated men? Probably not---unless YOU were separated.


Stereotyping in the name of national security and law enforcement leads to innocent people being incarcerated. I don't see much good in that.


NOT stereotyping in the name of national security and law enforcement leads to far more innocent people losing their lives. Stereotyping is sometimes justified, regardless of your personal distaste for it---and it is here to stay. Deal with it.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 283
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/30/2012 6:18:32 PM
I guess I will miss out, because I'm not going to change my standards to appease others, plain and simple.

Standards. I think that's what can get guys pissy, just as much as girls (even some with decent bodies) can get pissy when a guy demands that a girl has an athletic, firm body with a nice, sizable chest as his Standards that he's not going to settle less for. That puts it above Taste. Standards, notably in that context, refers to it being Better.

It might very well be a stereotype---however, that doesn't change the fact that in my personal experience, the men that I've encountered who were shorter than 5'8", tended to have lower self-esteem, and were often more abusive.

I think the point is that you can't apply that very Personal and knowingly Personal stereotype as if it has evidential backing or it's shared by a great majority of others. There are many others that are questionable and one may have an argument that something's really there, but that exact claim is really just guilt-by-association, at Least for the vast majority of it. The burden of proof is on you to apply that beyond just personal guilt-by-personal-association thing (which we can tend to do about guy-girl things). I guess that level of claim is the same as me saying that shorter guys tend to be more stalkerish, guys over 6'2" tend to be arrogant, guys wearing a hat on backwards tend to be video game addicts, and girls dressed really nice in the nightlife are b!tchy. Just MY personal opinion (it's not), so I'm going to apply it the same way as people who are recently Separated are likely not ready for a new relationship at that point.
 good_catch77
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 284
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/30/2012 6:28:09 PM

I would agree with you IF someone stated that as a fact. I didn't do that---I stated it as my own personal experience. Many people refuse to date those that are less than a certain height, smokers, overweight, separated, widowed, have young kids at home---or any myriad of other reasons, because they've had bad experiences with members of those groups---NOT because of negative stereotypes that may or may not exist.


I can agree with the majority of this...I can understand where people don't date a lot of those types. In fact like I said if you said you did not have preferences you are lying to yourself and to everyone.

But the last part "because they've had bad experiences with members of those groups---NOT because of negative stereotypes that may or may not exist

They are negatively stereotyping a whole group of types just because of one or two bad experiences...(or more but the actual number does not matter). And unfairly just.

Not everyone stereotypes like this...from both genders.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 285
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/30/2012 6:51:07 PM
I would agree with you IF someone stated that as a fact. I didn't do that---I stated it as my own personal experience. Many people refuse to date those that are less than a certain height, smokers, overweight, separated, widowed, have young kids at home---or any myriad of other reasons, because they've had bad experiences with members of those groups---NOT because of negative stereotypes that may or may not exist.


And these are preferences. If someone says they won't date overweight women because they are not attracted to them, that is a preference. If they say that their experience has been that overweight women are lazy, that is a stereotype. See the difference? I find it objectionable, even though I am neither overweight nor a woman.

Many racists support their negative racial stereotypes with personal experience. It doesn't make their remarks any less ignorant or repugnant.


If a woman dated three separated men, and they each dumped her to go back to their wives, and she then told you she wouldn't date any more separated men because it's been her experience that they go back to their wives, would you call her idiotic and tell her she was stereotyping separated men? Probably not---unless YOU were separated.


I would say that is probably the worst analogy I've ever heard.


NOT stereotyping in the name of national security and law enforcement leads to far more innocent people losing their lives.


You actually believe that? I'm dumbfounded...
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 286
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/30/2012 7:52:12 PM

And these are preferences. If someone says they won't date overweight women because they are not attracted to them, that is a preference. If they say that their experience has been that overweight women are lazy, that is a stereotype. See the difference? I find it objectionable, even though I am neither overweight nor a woman.


No---I don't see the difference between those two examples, namely because I believe "not attracted to them" is too simplistic a term. Why are they not attracted to them? It's because our culture and the media have succeeded in indoctrinating the idea to men that overweight women are unattractive. Conversely, in many non-Western countries, overweight women are considered to be very desirable. No, I don't think "not attracted to them" is any more acceptable than "I think they are lazy".


I would say that is probably the worst analogy I've ever heard.


And I would say that yours is no better.
 good_catch77
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 287
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/30/2012 8:15:44 PM

No---I don't see the difference between those two examples, namely because I believe "not attracted to them" is too simplistic a term. Why are they not attracted to them? It's because our culture and the media have succeeded in indoctrinating the idea to men that overweight women are unattractive. Conversely, in many non-Western countries, overweight women are considered to be very desirable. No, I don't think "not attracted to them" is any more acceptable than "I think they are lazy".


Media fall guy for men not wanting overweight women?

Really, I mean REALLY? I call false from personal experience...I was often playing outside, with cars, toy trains what ever...I also grew up in a family that you did your homework and chores before you where allowed to do something "fun". We didn't have the govt telling us what to and not watch...my parents did that job. I remember my mom getting mad at my dad for letting me watch Road House (Patrick Swayze) because of the sex scene and strip scene... Split decision on needed to learn...mom wanted to keep me in a bubble but that's another tale.

Anyways back to subject once I started learning about the birds and bees I knew what I liked and what I didn't like. My way of thought has changed but not by much. I'm a small framed guy. I've got a little bit of a mountain Dew gut but still small framed. Not huge arms, chest what ever makes Jacob off of Twilight "hot"...But because of my small frame I've always wanted a smaller to average girl/woman. I didn't want to be smashed...cruel I know but no crueler than calling all short guys abusers. Like has been mentioned...

I've always liked small to avg women when growing up and still do. Not been jaded by TV, movies, music...hell video games. Yeah sure I'd love to have Brooklyn Decker as much as the next guy and will may never get her but I'm not going to settle for Roseanne Barr either...
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 288
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/30/2012 8:19:36 PM

No---I don't see the difference between those two examples, namely because I believe "not attracted to them" is too simplistic a term. Why are they not attracted to them? It's because our culture and the media have succeeded in indoctrinating the idea to men that overweight women are unattractive. Conversely, in many non-Western countries, overweight women are considered to be very desirable. No, I don't think "not attracted to them" is any more acceptable than "I think they are lazy".


But yet you see no problem with women preferring to date tall men because they find them more attractive. And you probably don't see any hypocrisy in that.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 289
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/30/2012 8:36:08 PM
But yet you see no problem with women preferring to date tall men because they find them more attractive. And you probably don't see any hypocrisy in that.


I personally don't like to use vague terms, such as "find them more attractive". I prefer specifics---like, "I'm a tall woman and tall men are physically a better 'fit' for me", or "I prefer to date taller men because I feel safer and more protected when I'm in their company".
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 290
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/30/2012 8:51:30 PM
Halcyon Name the countries.


in many non-Western countries, overweight women are considered to be very desirable


I only know of one country in africa, because people are starving, that they think fat women are desirable. Asian countries would think someone at 5.1 and127 pounds are very fat.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 291
view profile
History
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/30/2012 11:23:55 PM
Short man rage...Louie DePalma on taxi. Hate to see how mean midgets are. Better protect my groin and kneecaps.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 292
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/31/2012 5:11:09 AM
I think I'm catching on.

I don't date blonde haired women because, in my experience, they are as dumb as rocks. I don't date women over 50 because, in my experience, they are bitter and jaded. I don't date women from the deep south because, in my experience, they haven't evolved socially since Antebellum times.

As long as I add those three magic words, everything is hunky dory!
 Justcheckingfor1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 293
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/31/2012 5:31:24 AM
"I think I'm catching on.

I don't date blonde haired women because, in my experience, they are as dumb as rocks. I don't date women over 50 because, in my experience, they are bitter and jaded. I don't date women from the deep south because, in my experience, they haven't evolved socially since Antebellum times.
As long as I add those three magic words, everything is hunky dory!"

^^^^That is hilarious. I don't date women from up North because they all curse, smoke tobacco, dip snuff, and do drugs. They also do not know how to drive in good weather, and also think that in bad weather they can dive 70 miles an hour on pure ice, and have a tendency to lift their hands in the air away from the steering wheel and scream when their all wheel drive family suv sports truckster slides into a ditch! They also don't practice good personal hygiene,and have a salted cod taste to them. They don't know how to hunt, fish, make shine, change a tire. Not only that, they expect you to help with the house choirs and to actually have a job and such. Wow sometimes I can't believe the nerve of all of those Yankee women.


As I have said before, do not make a big deal out of your height and it will not become a big deal. When you meet the right woman it won't matter to her anyways.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 294
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/31/2012 6:18:39 AM
I think I'm catching on.

I don't date blonde haired women because, in my experience, they are as dumb as rocks. I don't date women over 50 because, in my experience, they are bitter and jaded. I don't date women from the deep south because, in my experience, they haven't evolved socially since Antebellum times.

As long as I add those three magic words, everything is hunky dory!


If you don't want to date members of those groups, that's your prerogative. I don't personally CARE how stereotypical your reasons sound. I don't know how this conversation got to "I don't date..." because I never said I didn't date shorter men. I have dated them and I would date them again if I were still single. What I said was:


In fact, it has been my experience that the taller men usually have a higher level of self-esteem, thus, they are less likely to be abusive towards women.


I have a long dating history, and yes, I do prefer taller men---my experiences with them overall have been much more positive than with the shorter men under 5'7". That's not to say I wouldn't date a shorter man---if he were accomplished, had high self-esteem, and a pleasant personality. I have encountered far fewer of them, however.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 295
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/31/2012 6:39:51 AM
It has been my experience that blonde haired women are usually as dumb as rocks. It has been my experience that women over 50 are usually bitter and jaded. It has been my experience that women from the deep south usually have not evolved socially since Antebellum times.

All better now?
 astrosky
Joined: 2/6/2005
Msg: 296
view profile
History
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/31/2012 11:15:45 AM
Goodness, what a lot of argueing....why is it I keep hearing Randy Newman's "Short People" playing as the theme song to this thread?
 Justcheckingfor1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 297
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/31/2012 11:25:41 AM
One thing that does bother me as a short man who stands at 5 foot 3 inches tall barefoot is that when I see or hear someone mention that her reason for not dating a short guy is because of what the last one put her through. As if I am not my own person and am completely the same as her ex or whoever she dated before. Also it get's somewhat nerve racking when every single woman my height or shorter that I am attracted to, are not attracted to me because I am not 6 foot tall. When I try to explain this to my relatives and friends they always seemed baffled upon me mentioning that. Some may say it is my attitude, others say there is nothing wrong with my attitude or with me in general and I am just not meeting the right type of woman. What does one do, when your type does not consider you her type? Makes me want to throw in the towel and go back to the whiskey bottle, which was probably my longest romantic relationship to begin with. But I am not a quitter and I sure as heck don't want to die an bitter, angry selfish scrooge drunk. But with my success rate in finding what I am looking for has been pretty much a failure. This includes me not making a big deal out of my height. I don't care if my date is taller than me or shorter than me. I just want her to be attracted to me and for me to be attracted back to her. This of course brings up a whole other subject for another thread. Getting dates is not the issue. Getting dates that one is attracted to is the issue, the women that I am attracted to are not attracted to short males such as myself. Oh well, at least the whiskey tastes good.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 298
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/31/2012 12:15:21 PM
It has been my experience that blonde haired women are usually as dumb as rocks. It has been my experience that women over 50 are usually bitter and jaded. It has been my experience that women from the deep south usually have not evolved socially since Antebellum times.

All better now?


No, you're slipping. You left off "It has been my experience that women with big boobs are usually all bimbos."
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 299
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/31/2012 12:26:41 PM
I think choosing not to date a short person is a preference,
even though the short person can't help he's short.
I think choosing not to date an overweight person is also
a preference, even though that overweight person could
perhaps help that they're overweight.

I think because you're short/tall/overweight/underweight
or attractive/unattractive or old/young
or any other thing and you're a nice person doesn't mean that
everyone is going to be attracted to you.

I never saw the height or weight issue until I came to fishes.

It's been my experience that everyone else's experiences aren't
necessarily my experiences.

I have no trouble at all attracting men in real life.
I have all sorts of trouble attracting them in fishes.
I think that pretty much says it all.

In my experience anyways.

 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 300
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/31/2012 12:27:09 PM
Justchecking, not sure if you are really looking for a women or just screwing around. Your pic looks dumpy to me. Overweight, stubble 5,3 and posing in a T-shirt doesn't scream chick magnet to me. If you aren't running a game here, then better hope buddha steps in to help.

Recently from another dating site where I do have pics, a lady MSGed me and wanted me to respond.

She is 5.9, 41 years old, and ran a marathon last year, and she looks cute. She is in the Northeast.

I was very surprised, we would make a real odd couple, she does like to travel, so we have that in common. She looks like a lean, mean loving machine. Though her profile said no playboys.

Honestly, wonder what deal is, is she a fundamentalist christian? Not sure why she is footloose, but no harm in finding out. Don't know what the h*ll I will do if she wants a meet. However the thought of those long dark skinned legs wrapped around me makes me have to find out.

Happy
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