Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Justcheckingfor1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 301
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)Page 13 of 25    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25)
"Justchecking, not sure if you are really looking for a women or just screwing around. Your pic looks dumpy to me. Overweight, stubble 5,3 and posing in a T-shirt doesn't scream chick magnet to me. If you aren't running a game here, then better hope buddha steps in to help. "

^^^Ah hah, but I am a short dumpy overweight, unshaven, T-shirt wearing kind of guy. I am perfectly okay with this, and the right woman for me would be perfectly okay with this. But she still needs to be attractive to me and I attractive to her, to get anywhere. Oh. you also left out alcoholic, and not having hardly any sexual experiences that my profile mentions too. I am okay with this as well. But I thought this thread was about height, not about me personally. To each their own, I guess. I would also like to add, that my gosh I never thought I was all that bad, but thanks for the input.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 302
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/31/2012 8:16:54 PM
Justcheckingfor. I know some women that look for hardly any sexual experience, so that shouldn't hurt you. But I wasn't posting about personality, just your pic.

Not sure how women feel about ideas about wanting sex as the first date. There is joking and there is humor that doesn't go over well. Maybe ask women for a profile review and see what they say.



Basically my ideal first date would be for you to be so attracted by me that you invite me over to your place and make love to me all night long as if you are trying to conceive with me.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 303
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/31/2012 8:26:19 PM
Maffers, Since this topic is about height, I am not getting how talking about BBW and weight is back on topic.

I would help someone lose weight if I already had a relationship with them, but I wouldn't date someone with a BMI over 27.5. It's easier to say BMI because that is height independent.


Justchecking seems like a sweet guy, but his pic looks poor.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 304
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/31/2012 9:29:53 PM
seakyttten, Do you thing Justchecking has an attractive pic on his profile or could he have made himself look better?

I put up the pics on the other dating site almost a year ago, I hadn't checked in to that site in 4-5 months. There were over a 1000 matches, not that that means much. Just a computer matching criteria, if I were to attempt to contact them all I would maybe get 10% respond, but that would include women that weren't very attractive and more likely to respond to any contracts. And I had the filter set for worldwide, so I get matches from obsure places like Dushanbe, Tajikistan, which I had to look up to even know where it is.

The other dating site doesn't have a very quick response time when you try and move around it. There isn't any good way to sort the matches. I shouldn't have let it just run without checking in daily.

I hid my profile in PoF as I didn't really want to get random inbox msgs from women. So I am not sure how many I would get, I got a few the first day when I didn't have my profile hidden. I think I had one pic up but removed it and hid my profile.

I just chat on the forums and once in a while msg with someone.

To chat on the forums, do you think I should have pics?



In my experience, men that post no picture of themselves or want others to 'blurr out their face' when a picture of them is taken by a friend are highly insecure about how they look and have deeper issues to deal with in my opinion. I would hazard to guess their height if they're 5'7 or under is just the tip of the iceburg.


If someone is over 5.7 and blurs their pics or has none, In your experience what does That mean?
 RunningFool7
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 305
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/31/2012 10:12:46 PM
It's just a preference. I'm pretty awesome, I just sit back and think, "their loss".
 Justcheckingfor1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 306
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 2/1/2012 5:11:54 AM
"Justchecking seems like a sweet guy, but his pic looks poor."

^^^^The type of woman that I like is not one that would expect me to go all out on a first meet, so I see no point of me placing a picture of me in suit and tie or in former wear. That is just not my style. Also considering it gets very hot in my area during the summer and the winters can be very mild at times, there is really no need to look any way different than someone who is headed to the pool, or to the beach. This is a T shirt, sandals, khaki shorts or swim trunks wearing type of atmosphere. Also there are women that do like my sense of humor despite how juvenile it sounds. Back on thread topic, if you do no worry about your height, then no one else will. I am sure most short guys have more opportunities than the realize, but being stuck on their height is not going to help them see that. Despite my short stature, and my T shirt wearing self, I am still able to get dates. I am sure that has something to do with me always laughing, having a positive attitude and not taking things to seriously. Instead of being a negative nancy. I also would like to add that a lot of the photos of ladies in my area show them with bikini tops, sports or gym wear, beach wear and very casual wear. That is the culture down here. We try to impress people with or personalities not our clothes. Cheers
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 307
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 2/1/2012 5:57:09 AM

There comes a time in life when a man needs to learn to pick his battles carefully, lest he come across as a bully. I think this is one of those times, Paderic. This is not a fight you can win.


First off, it wasn't much of a fight. More of a tit for tat internet exchange. Responsibility is shared equally.

Why is it that men need to learn to pick their battles carefully? Don't women have to as well? To me, bullying involves a stronger individual habitually picking on a weaker one. Surely you're not suggesting that women are weaker intellectually?

I stand by everything I've said. The notion that short men are more likely to be abusive is absurd. Nor do I accept that low self esteem is the root cause of all abusive behavior.
 RIPTIDE59
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 308
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 2/1/2012 6:17:48 AM
@433 Ah, Justchecking; Needless to say; I approve of the NC dress code. Especially those bikini tops. I was always impressed by minimal clothing. Hey, I'm starting to notice a lot of short local cops. Also, a lot of shorter guys seem to be on some kind of mission. Very driven. Whatever, you seem like a very nice man. Unfortunately, I'm stuck up north this winter.
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 309
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 2/1/2012 6:18:20 AM
just checking is adorable
get a new doggie; then you'll be perfect in my book.
 Justcheckingfor1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 310
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 2/1/2012 6:37:39 AM
"@433 Ah, Justchecking; Needless to say; I approve of the NC dress code. Especially those bikini tops. I was always impressed by minimal clothing. Hey, I'm starting to notice a lot of short local cops. Also, a lot of shorter guys seem to be on some kind of mission. Very driven. Whatever, you seem like a very nice man. Unfortunately, I'm stuck up north this winter."

^^^Spring will be here before you know it. Yeah nothing like the down to earth ladies we have down here who look sexy as all get out in their cut off jeans, sporty tight fitting gym wear, and their master's and doctorate degrees from all the local schools down here, driving 4x4 suvs, and the ability to not be grossed out by deep sea fishing or deer hunting. It used to be guys would get a nice boat for the ocean to attract ladies, but these days, all the ladies are getting their own boats, while looking for us short down to earth males who like them for what is on the inside.

"just checking is adorable
get a new doggie; then you'll be perfect in my book. "

^^^Not quite ready for a new puppy but I am getting there. I am blushing now, because I am not overly used to be complemented by such beautiful lady. My goodness. Okay back on subject and once again. Your height has nothing to do with meeting the right woman. When you find the right woman your short stature will not matter to her. I know plenty of short folks are in happy relationships. Walking around with a chip on your shoulder because of this or that is not going to attract a woman. Being happy and secure in who you are will bring you someone special.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 311
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 2/1/2012 8:29:29 AM

Why is it that men need to learn to pick their battles carefully? Don't women have to as well? To me, bullying involves a stronger individual habitually picking on a weaker one. Surely you're not suggesting that women are weaker intellectually?


She mean YOU personally as opposed to men in general. Seakyttten was not conveying that women are weaker intellectually. She meant that she felt you were being a bully by launching an attack over something as ridiculous as a woman's preferences that she made based on her own personal experiences---regardless of whether or not you think they involve stereotyping.

I also think she felt attacked by your use of multiple stereotypes that also included her, in your attempt to make your point that stereotyping can sometimes be offensive, i.e. women who are "blonde", "southern"," over 50", etc.

Personally, I don't give a crap if people who have never even met me in person want to stereotype me. Everyone is guilty of stereotyping to some extent, whether they will admit to it or not---and that also includes YOU, so I think you're being a wee bit self-righteous and sanctimonious.


I stand by everything I've said. The notion that short men are more likely to be abusive is absurd. Nor do I accept that low self esteem is the root cause of all abusive behavior.


And I beg to differ with you. In fact, I think you've shown us a pretty good example of that right here in this very thread.
 good_catch77
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 312
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 2/1/2012 8:53:52 AM

And I beg to differ with you. In fact, I think you've shown us a pretty good example of that right here in this very thread.


Both of you was in a debate, point/counterpoint I really don't see anything personally bashing each other...this is looking "outside the box"...if it was two other people most would think the same as well.

I still don't see the correlation of short men being abusers. I can see where people would think they have a chip on their shoulders always "needing" to prove that they are more than capable of "protecting" their woman regardless of size.

I mean in my personal experience I've not seen the short guy abuse but on dating sites. I once messaged a woman that had 6' as a min...stating that I am 5'10" (5'11" on good days lol) she should give me a shot being so close. Something else could have caused her not to message me. I could assume it was the height thing but who knows since she didn't even message me back. My butt was hurt sure but I moved on and carry on....

Who knows I may date someone overweight if she proved to me that she's not like all the others too....
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 313
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 2/1/2012 8:58:31 AM
I think anyone with an ounce of intelligence can figure out that the stereotypes I posted were not based on anything I actually believed, but rather were used as examples to show how it is when you're the person being stereotyped. At least you've finally admitted that it is stereotyping and adding the words, "In my experience," does not neutralize it. Which is all I was after in the first place.

I'm sorry that you perceived it as a personal attack. That was clearly not my intention as I criticized what you said and did not attack you as an individual. Can you say the same?


And I beg to differ with you. In fact, I think you've shown us a pretty good example of that right here in this very thread.


I hardly think you're qualified to make such a diagnosis, let alone do it based on a few paragraphs posted in an online forum.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 314
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 2/1/2012 10:30:13 AM
Justcheckingfor1 I am short and never really had a problem dating. Picking up hot women in a singles bar is a problem for me at least, and PoF is sort of like a singles bar. In a singles bar being short is a bigger deal and I like to have more intelligent conversation, bars are not noted for that. I mostly got on PoF to check out the forums and I chat privately with a few people I met on PoF. At least on PoF you can chat with someone without all the noise.

Three of the most important things a man can do.

1) Get a good education
This will be a benefit your entire life.

2) Find a good loving women for a companion
Marry the wrong women will ruin your life, and no one wants to live alone. Marry the right women and it will be the best thing you can do.

3) Have a program of regular daily exercise that continues for a lifetime.

You should develop a good exercise program and lose weight, it makes your life better. You seem like a decent sweet guy, so finding a women shouldn't be a problem in the long term.

A lot of men and women sleep around a lot, it's fun when you are young, when you get older it often loses it's appeal. Not for everyone, but the majority don't like to keep moving from warm body to warm body.

Good luck
John
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 315
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 2/1/2012 10:51:57 AM

I'm sorry, when did 5'10" (Paderic's height) begin to qualify as being particularly 'short'? I'd describe it as 'average'. I think it's already been established that Paderic is approaching this discussion from a relatively impartial standpoint. I suppose we could wait for a 6'2"+ person to enter the debate and argue the case against your use of stereotyping without you dismissing them as having 'a dog in the fight'.


Reading comprehension---I attempted to explain in an earlier post, the original complaint of the OP was that some women dismissed men under 6 feet tall, with the excuse that these men would be too short for them if they wore heels. For example, I am 5'7" but am 5'11" in the 4" heels I favor, so a man of 5'10" would be a bit short for me, personally. Go back and reread the opening post if you still don't understand.


I still don't see the correlation of short men being abusers. I can see where people would think they have a chip on their shoulders always "needing" to prove that they are more than capable of "protecting" their woman regardless of size.


You brought up an interesting point. Just to clear up one issue---when I used the term, "abusive", I was not referring to physical abuse. The shorter men under 5'7" that I had bad experiences with were verbally abusive---and yes, they did appear to have a chip on their shoulders, which is indeed a form of insecurity.

I don't really know if the chip was due so much to their feeling a need to prove that they were capable of protecting their women regardless of their size (although one 5'7" man I dated carried a gun, which intimidated me somewhat), as it was due to resentment from having been rejected or abused by multiple women in their past. Nevertheless, I didn't appreciate being used as a verbal punching bag for their anger and resentment, when I had nothing to do with it.


I hardly think you're qualified to make such a diagnosis, let alone do it based on a few paragraphs posted in an online forum.


And you ARE qualified to make your own diagnosis? Look---we all have different viewpoints, and we can agree to disagree---however, your implications that a woman has low intelligence because she doesn't agree with your opinions about stereotyping are a bit much.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 316
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 2/1/2012 11:10:49 AM
Justchecking, like bLondeDeviL12524 said, you are a sweet guy.

It seemed like you were complaining about finding women. As you say, the worst thing is getting a bad attitude about it. Out of the millions of available women there are 100,000s of them that you would be happy with.

No problem, Be happy.

ciao
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 317
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 2/1/2012 11:17:40 AM
Maffers, I go by the mantra that people don't change. So you can never overlook someone's short comings. Accept and love the person for who they are, faults and all.



Here is a phucking novel idea, how about accepting them for who they are? They over looked your obvious short comings.


I once met a very fat lady from a dating service, I knew she was fat but I thought maybe I should give this a chance. Many fat women, just like many short men, aren't happy with their situation, they have a lot of supressed anger, and it makes them unpleasant to be around.

I accept strangers for who they are, it doesn't mean I want to live with them.
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 318
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 2/1/2012 11:46:27 AM
justchecking, in the past i dated men 5ft 4 & i think even shorter & they were mostly sweet, nice, fun...

in the long run, when you are laying next to eachother, gazing into eachother's eyes because you care about eachother & are happy together, you are the perfect height for eachother.

yes, there are stereotypes of all sorts, but for each one, there is a non stereotyped human being w/ a heart & a soul
 destructodave
Joined: 4/18/2009
Msg: 319
view profile
History
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 2/1/2012 11:47:37 AM
I see that in many profiles, and have been shunned for it too. I'm closer to 5'10, but put 5'9 I think because I hate to lie, and I wear boots, etc anyways that would probably put me closer to 6'0 so I could technically just lie and say I was 6 and most women would never be the wiser.

I always find it hilarious the stringent guidelines you have to meet for most women online(height, income, weight, eyes, hair) while the majority of them are overweight and as wide as they are tall have no foot to stand on requiring a guy to be a certain way.

Forever single, most people here.
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 320
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 2/1/2012 12:06:22 PM

I always find it hilarious the stringent guidelines you have to meet for most women online(height, income, weight, eyes, hair)


I just found one of the "best."
I came across a woman's profile that says she needs a "tall man" because she is 5' 1" and needs a man 6 feet or over so she can "wear her heels."

Apparently, she has a large supply of 10" heels.

 Justcheckingfor1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 321
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 2/1/2012 12:29:17 PM
Once again, my height nor my profile have kept me from dating. I have always been able to find someone to date when I really applied myself and when I really have not applied myself. All this talk about height is silly to begin with. When one says no, move on to the next one. Eventually you will find a woman that says yes. I mean do you actually believe the folks with the strictest and stringent profiles are having any more luck than you are on a free dating site? That right there is a laugh in itself. It is nothing more than a numbers game. You will only fail if you quit. First of all you have to ask before you are told no or yes, and there always plenty of folks who don't bother doing the asking but yet complain or blame it on something such as their stature. Ever wonder why you sometimes see a hot number 10 dating a number 3.5? It is because he had enough gall to bother asking her out.
Cheers
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 322
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 2/1/2012 4:48:21 PM
And you ARE qualified to make your own diagnosis? Look---we all have different viewpoints, and we can agree to disagree---however, your implications that a woman has low intelligence because she doesn't agree with your opinions about stereotyping are a bit much.


I have not said anything about another poster having psychological issues. Nor have I implied that a woman has low intelligence simply because she doesn't agree with me. Show me the posts where I said either of these things and I will retract them.

Look, this is simple. If you want me to stop replying to your posts, you need to stop accusing me in your posts.

Apologies, after 19 pages the details of the original post have become slightly vague in my mind. I thought you meant 'shorter' as in 'shorter than average', not 'shorter than 6'.


Nothing I said was based on the assumption that we were talking about a six foot dividing line. I was reacting to the generic terms "shorter" and "taller."

If every man six feet and above is paired up, more than 80% of all women are still available. And that doesn't even consider that some of those tall guys could be gay.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 323
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 2/1/2012 8:59:30 PM
I have not said anything about another poster having psychological issues. Nor have I implied that a woman has low intelligence simply because she doesn't agree with me. Show me the posts where I said either of these things and I will retract them.

Look, this is simple. If you want me to stop replying to your posts, you need to stop accusing me in your posts.


Oh, but indeed you did imply that. Here is a perfect example:


I think anyone with an ounce of intelligence can figure out that the stereotypes I posted were not based on anything I actually believed, but rather were used as examples to show how it is when you're the person being stereotyped.


It's obvious to me that any person with an ounce of intelligence can figure out that the stereotypes you chose in the name of "illustrative purposes" were nothing more than a shameless verbal ASSault leveled at me that you could conveniently label as "examples to show how it is when you're the person being stereotyped"---just so you would have an excuse to get away with it without being reported.

And when you made this ASSumptive statement:

At least you've finally admitted that it is stereotyping and adding the words, "In my experience," does not neutralize it. Which is all I was after in the first place.


I was admitting nothing of the kind. This vindictive, thinly-veiled attack has only served to strengthen my case---which is that it has been my experience that many shorter men do indeed have anger issues towards women due to their own insecurities---and tend to be verbally abusive. I rest my case.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 324
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 2/2/2012 6:37:58 AM
I don't want to put words in people's mouths or try to speak for anyone else, but it seems to me that Paderic wasn't necessarily even engaging you in this debate with the purpose of defending himself as part of the 'shorter' group - he simply didn't agree with your stereotyping of a group of people (I get the impression he would criticise any use of stereotyping 'regardless' of what the stereotype actually was).


I'm sorry, but as I said before, I think he's being a hypocrite. Everyone uses stereotypes---some more than others, and not everyone voices them in a public forum, however, we all use them whether we realize it or not.

Some are good, and some are not so good. Stereotyping shapes our choices in just about everything we do in life---from the cars we buy, the neighborhoods we live in, the schools our children attend, to the jobs we train for, and yes, who we date.


But you have made the assumption that this was specifically his reason for arguing his case with you, and in doing so demonstrated exactly how a person can project these sorts of prejudices onto others and then reinforce those beliefs about them in their own mind.


He didn't like the fact that I disagreed with him on his stance on stereotyping, and he didn't like my opinion about short men that was formed from my negative experiences with them---because he felt it was a stereotype.

In addition, he happened to fall into the group that was the original topic of the OP. Therefore he decided to attack my intellect under the guise of "illustrating a point" and through the clever use of presuppositions.

Do you understand what presuppositions are? If I said: "Even John Doe can pass that test", I am using two presuppositions:

1) The test is easy
2) John Doe isn't very bright.

It is just another way of attacking someone with impunity.

Edit: vvvvvv Do you always attack the intellect of people that disagree with you? It was you that was abusive. All I did was return fire.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 325
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 2/2/2012 7:00:36 AM
Oh, but indeed you did imply that. Here is a perfect example:


I think anyone with an ounce of intelligence can figure out that the stereotypes I posted were not based on anything I actually believed, but rather were used as examples to show how it is when you're the person being stereotyped.


I think anyone with an ounce of intelligence should be able to figure it out. That was not gender specific, nor was it directed solely at you.


It's obvious to me that any person with an ounce of intelligence can figure out that the stereotypes you chose in the name of "illustrative purposes" were nothing more than a shameless verbal ASSault leveled at me that you could conveniently label as "examples to show how it is when you're the person being stereotyped"---just so you would have an excuse to get away with it without being reported.


It was my goal to provide examples you could identify with. Apparently, I succeeded.


I was admitting nothing of the kind. This vindictive, thinly-veiled attack has only served to strengthen my case---which is that it has been my experience that many shorter men do indeed have anger issues towards women due to their own insecurities---and tend to be verbally abusive. I rest my case.


Do you often build an ad hominem case against people who have the audacity to take issue with something you've said?

Again, I don't think someone of average height can be described as "shorter."

Your posts have been laced with personal insults directed at me. Being female does not give you a free pass on abusive behavior.

Your ASSumption that I'm speaking because of some kind of anger issue with women is way off base and way out of line.

Therefore he decided to attack my intellect under the guise of "illustrating a point" and through the clever use of presuppositions..


WRONG!!!
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)