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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)      Home login  
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 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 326
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)Page 14 of 25    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25)

Once again, my height nor my profile have kept me from dating. I have always been able to find someone to date when I really applied myself and when I really have not applied myself. All this talk about height is silly to begin with. When one says no, move on to the next one. Eventually you will find a woman that says yes. I mean do you actually believe the folks with the strictest and stringent profiles are having any more luck than you are on a free dating site? That right there is a laugh in itself. It is nothing more than a numbers game. You will only fail if you quit. First of all you have to ask before you are told no or yes, and there always plenty of folks who don't bother doing the asking but yet complain or blame it on something such as their stature. Ever wonder why you sometimes see a hot number 10 dating a number 3.5? It is because he had enough gall to bother asking her out.
Cheers

your attitude totally rocks! that attitude is 10+ in my book...people should listen to you...
 Justcheckingfor1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 327
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 2/2/2012 7:45:08 AM
"your attitude totally rocks! that attitude is 10+ in my book...people should listen to you..."

Thank you for that post. Anyways, happy folks attract happy folks. Miserable folks attract more miserable folks, or no folks at all. None of it has anything to do with how tall you are. I have short relatives, and a some of them have been married to their partners for 50 years, some 60 years and some 40 years. If these short relatives of mine can find someone then anyone can. My short brothers are happily married to beautiful women and have beautiful families. Of course they were never the type to complain about anything or let anything get in their way to obtain what they want.
 good_catch77
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 328
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 2/2/2012 7:53:00 AM

You brought up an interesting point. Just to clear up one issue---when I used the term, "abusive", I was not referring to physical abuse. The shorter men under 5'7" that I had bad experiences with were verbally abusive---and yes, they did appear to have a chip on their shoulders, which is indeed a form of insecurity.

I don't really know if the chip was due so much to their feeling a need to prove that they were capable of protecting their women regardless of their size (although one 5'7" man I dated carried a gun, which intimidated me somewhat), as it was due to resentment from having been rejected or abused by multiple women in their past. Nevertheless, I didn't appreciate being used as a verbal punching bag for their anger and resentment, when I had nothing to do with it.


See I assumed when you said abusive I thought you meant physically not so much mentally. I think others did as well. I can see a little bit of the coloration now, but not fully. I mean the mental issue of having a "chip" on their shoulder. But I agree with the other poster that women and partially at fault for this (not pointing fingers at just women noticed I said partially). Constantly putting it in shorter men minds that they aren't good enough for them, they "NEED" someone taller to protect them...they "NEED" someone taller for social status.

I mean think about how a woman would reply to a man that "NEEDED" big breasts or "NEEDED" the 36-24-32 figure....what would the reply be? SHALLOW?

More often than not on some stuff people get a "free pass" on some stereotypes. But yes we all do it. I work in retail and see someone that looks like a "meth head" I follow them around giving them excellent customer service to where they are not tempted to steal something. Wrong yes but I'm protecting my company. There are times when the stereotypes are completely true but also when the stereotype is completely wrong.
 forums_gal
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 329
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 2/2/2012 8:22:36 PM

I'm sorry, but as I said before, I think he's being a hypocrite. Everyone uses stereotypes---some more than others, and not everyone voices them in a public forum, however, we all use them whether we realize it or not.

Some are good, and some are not so good. Stereotyping shapes our choices in just about everything we do in life---from the cars we buy, the neighborhoods we live in, the schools our children attend, to the jobs we train for, and yes, who we date.


Many people may stereotype others. But it doesn't make stereotyping right or accurate. Some members of a particular group may fit the stereotype while other members of the same group don't fit the stereotype. A stereotype often involves making a broad generalization about groups that contains thousands or millions of people based on a very small sample size. Which is not large enough to form an accurate assessment.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 330
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 2/2/2012 11:37:43 PM

Many people may stereotype others. But it doesn't make stereotyping right or accurate. Some members of a particular group may fit the stereotype while other members of the same group don't fit the stereotype. A stereotype often involves making a broad generalization about groups that contains thousands or millions of people based on a very small sample size. Which is not large enough to form an accurate assessment.


It may not always make it right or accurate, but many people are going to continue to stereotype when the situation calls for it--- especially when their personal safety and well-being is involved, and I see little point in harping about something that isn't going to change. If you want to get into a discussion of the pros and cons of stereotyping, there are better threads for that:

http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts14809252.aspx

http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts8300265.aspx

For some over 50 folks such as myself, who don't have all the time in the world to sift through thousands or millions, or even hundreds of people, to find a mate, it makes more sense to focus our attention on certain groups of people that we have gotten consistently better results from, while avoiding those that tend to cause us past problems.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 331
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 2/3/2012 7:23:33 AM
Well, for what it's worth I genuinely hope that you do find happiness on here - I just hope you don't find yourself stuck on this dating site for an excessively long time as a result of trying to rush the searching process and dismiss all those guys you have arbitrarily dismissed though negative stereotyping based on your own personal experiences.


I appreciate your concern, however, I am off the market, and keep my profile up for forum participation only. I met met my partner through another dating site, and we've been happily exclusive since Sept., 2010.
 forums_gal
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 332
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 2/3/2012 8:00:00 AM
For some over 50 folks such as myself, who don't have all the time in the world to sift through thousands or millions, or even hundreds of people, to find a mate, it makes more sense to focus our attention on certain groups of people that we have gotten consistently better results from, while avoiding those that tend to cause us past problems.


I'm glad you are a committed relationship. But this stragedy has probably backfired on others. They could still be single due to rejecting potential matches based on negative and false stereotypes. Also believing in negative stereotypes can sometimes be a turn off to people who actually match that person's criteria. They may not want to date someone that has negative viewpoints about others based on height, weight, race, religion, hair color etc.

I certainly don't expect stereotyping to end although I have managed to change a few people minds about it. However since many height requirements are based on stereotypes, it does have some revelance to this discussion.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 333
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History
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 2/3/2012 8:18:49 AM
"I am 5'7" but am 5'11" in the 4" heels I favor, so a man of 5'10" would be a bit short for me, personally."


The only thing wrong with this statement is the man's height is without footwear. Depending on the type of footwear, that could add 1"-3" to his height making him 5'11"-6'1". Would that be more acceptable?
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 334
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History
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 2/3/2012 8:35:21 AM

savvyseahorse:
mary jane
You say you are well built. You are not and any guy smaller than you, is small indeed.
What size are you, a 12??? Give us a break.


This comes dangerously close to being a personal attack. I advise you to lighten up before the moderators give you a "vacation".

I know absolutely nothing about "sizes", the number "12" means nothing to me. But I would say that Mary Jane is "well built".

Wait one -- I seem to remember that Marilyn Monroe was a size 12? If so, that would indeed put Mary Jane in some excellent company!
 Justcheckingfor1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 335
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 2/3/2012 8:39:46 AM
^^^I wonder if getting platform shoes that would increase my height by a foot so that I would be taller than a lady wearing those heels that supposedly make her 3 inches taller would do the trick for those women requiring their matches to be 6 foot tall and over because of their shoes. What I find kind of odd is that the women who I have dated that wear those heels still are basically the same height and are not towering over me. But in these forums it seems like a pair of shoes makes some women become a ginormous amazon woman from the moon that is 8 foot tall and such. This leads me to believe that such ladies need to seek therapy with a shrink, believing that they have grown 3 inches or more just because of their shoes. Usually when you get your height checked you get it done with your shoes off. Also, by wearing items of clothing to make you taller is basically lying to your date. As if one would not notice his date being much shorter when she takes her shoes off. I find this very disappointing. Because when I say I am seeking a woman that is 5 foot 6. I mean her to be 5 foot 6 barefoot. I have never dated a woman shorter than me, so all this talk of height is really silly. I am mostly a happy person, and that gets me more dates than my looks or my height or my waist size. Cheers

I am now wondering if I should add to my profile this phrase: "please no shorties, I like to wear platform shoes and I don't want to be towering over my women, I prefer to be able to look into their eyes with my shoes on, and of course I prefer to into other parts of a woman's anatomy with my shoes off." I mean if women can wear shoes to make them taller, us guys can do the same, so therefor height will not be an issue. LOL!
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 336
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 2/3/2012 8:59:35 AM
I guess there's no reason to harp on people for lying about height or age, since that's not going to change anytime soon either.

I just think it's illogical to prejudge people. That's the way I was raised, and that's the mindset I will always have.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 337
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History
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 2/3/2012 9:02:53 AM
"I wonder if those precious few extra inches would make all the difference to any heel-wearing ladies out there?"


If those few extra inches are behind their zipper!
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 338
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 2/3/2012 9:36:29 AM
The only thing wrong with this statement is the man's height is without footwear. Depending on the type of footwear, that could add 1"-3" to his height making him 5'11"-6'1". Would that be more acceptable?


That's an interesting concept---only I don't see too many men wearing 3" heels, unless they're cowboy boots, which are not common in my area. My guy's height is 5'11", and his heel height varies between 3/4" to 1", putting him right at around six feet.

As I mentioned before, I am not among the women who wouldn't date a man under 6 feet tall, assuming he met my other criteria. I would---and I have.
 wellyborn
Joined: 1/31/2010
Msg: 339
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History
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 2/3/2012 10:33:26 AM
I'm 6 foot 4 and the ex was 4 foot 11, we never had any problems with height.
 Justcheckingfor1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 340
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 2/3/2012 10:43:48 AM
"I'm 6 foot 4 and the ex was 4 foot 11, we never had any problems with height."

^^^LOL! Well thank goodness that was not what broke the relationship up with said ex. That would of been cruel of her to think that a 6'4 tall guy would no longer be tall enough after he married her. But on the same token would a 5'9 woman have any problems with a 4'11 male? I think platform shoes is going to the be wave of the future for us short mean. That way we can gain 1 to 3 inches in height to match the ladies who love those height altering shoes to make them appear taller than they really are. I think we have now found a solution to this issue.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 341
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 2/3/2012 2:51:32 PM
And you ARE qualified to make your own diagnosis? Look---we all have different viewpoints, and we can agree to disagree---however, your implications that a woman has low intelligence because she doesn't agree with your opinions about stereotyping are a bit much.

Saying blonde women are usually more dumb or old people are usually bitter is making the equivalent point of saying that short guys are usually more abusive. It's not going after anyone specifically -- it's making an equivocally silly assertion to make a point.

I don't see too many men wearing 3" heels, unless they're cowboy boots, which are not common in my area. My guy's height is 5'11", and his heel height varies between 3/4" to 1", putting him right at around six feet.

Various footwear that you don't notice can be bootish without it being cowboy boots, and many of them you won't notice at all without taking a close look at the shoe or boot-shoe taken off. And as you point out, a regular shoe can increase one's height by 1 inch... some athletic shoes will closer to 2 inches. Throw in the "rounding errors" by an inch that guys (and girls) can do, and there's actually more leg room when it comes to height when people want to be exact.

In the end, it's closer to weight/body-size judgment than it should be or one may think. Some girls' bodies can look great in some clothes, but not-so-great when they come off, and vice versa. Another person's height is an experience just the same -- posture, footwear, and even clothes help change that impression of height, although usually not by a whole lot (but if 1.5" diff is a ton for someone, then I guess it could be a whole lot). Same with weight/body-type.

In the end, they're both visual, and women care about looks just as much as (and I'd argue even more than) guys. But that's not a bad thing.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 342
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 2/3/2012 3:30:40 PM
Saying blonde women are usually more dumb or old people are usually bitter is making the equivalent point of saying that short guys are usually more abusive. It's not going after anyone specifically -- it's making an equivocally silly assertion to make a point.


In some cases, I'd agree with you that that's all it was meant to be, however he had already insinuated in message 400 that he thought I was dumb for using what he considered to be a stereotype, with his use of a presupposition here:

Stereotypes are not fine with me. I consistently object to them regardless of whether I'm the one being stereotyped. I can't object to every single one posted on this site, there are too many and I'm only one person. So I tend to point them out to people who I think are smart enough to know better than to use them.


Saying that blonde women were as dumb as rocks was just another way of telling me I was dumb in the guise of "illustrating a point". It is another very common verbal attack pattern, and I recognized it for what it was.

Edit: vvvvv Baloney. If you thought I was "smart enough to know better" (Read: Share your opinion that it was a stereotype), you wouldn't have felt the need to point it out to me. I was "ignorant" for not agreeing with you.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 343
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 2/3/2012 3:49:57 PM
Stereotypes are not fine with me. I consistently object to them regardless of whether I'm the one being stereotyped. I can't object to every single one posted on this site, there are too many and I'm only one person. So I tend to point them out to people who I think are smart enough to know better than to use them.


Saying that blonde women were as dumb as rocks was just another way of telling me I was dumb in the guise of "illustrating a point". It is another very common verbal attack pattern, and I recognized it for what it was.


When I said that I thought you were smart enough to know better, I meant that I thought you were an intelligent person and I was surprised to see you make such an ignorant statement.

Confident-Realist is spot on with his comment.

You've consistently been off the mark with your "interpretation" of my words in this thread.

Edit: vvvvv Baloney. If you thought I was "smart enough to know better" (Read: Share your opinion that it was a stereotype), you wouldn't have felt the need to point it out to me. I was "ignorant" for not agreeing with you.


Wrong again.
 good_catch77
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 344
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 2/4/2012 6:28:01 AM

When I said that I thought you were smart enough to know better, I meant that I thought you were an intelligent person and I was surprised to see you make such an ignorant statement.

Confident-Realist is spot on with his comment.

You've consistently been off the mark with your "interpretation" of my words in this thread.


Even though there has been a decent debate mixed in all the he said/she said BS. I'm about tired of it. So let's cease and desist....continue with the actual debate and not he said I'm this, she said that etc...etc

Thank you carry on.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 345
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 2/4/2012 7:45:03 AM

When I said that I thought you were smart enough to know better, I meant that I thought you were an intelligent person and I was surprised to see you make such an ignorant statement.

Confident-Realist is spot on with his comment.


Now you're trying to backpedal and say you actually thought I was intelligent and only my "statement" was ignorant. If you're going to launch an attack against someone for disagreeing with your views, you could at least pick up a few of Confident-Realist's interpersonal skills---and learn to be a little less transparent about it.


You've consistently been off the mark with your "interpretation" of my words in this thread.


You're prevaricating---you've consistently been leveling insults at me ever since I entered this thread. If you didn't agree with my pov, why didn't you just say you disagreed with me and felt the practice of stereotyping was wrong? Why did you feel the need to insult my intelligence by saying you tend to point them out to people who you think are smart enough to know better? That was condescending---and we both know it was a personal attack.

You then come at me a second time with the "blondes are dumb as rocks" line---which, since I just happened to be a blonde who disagreed with your view on stereotyping (but according to you, should have been "smart enough to know better") was further intended as an attack on my intelligence under the guise of "illustrating a point".

When it was pointed out to you that another poster might have interpreted it as a personal attack, you then came at me a third time with another presupposition that anyone with an ounce of intelligence could figure out that the stereotypes you posted were not based on anything you actually believed, but rather, were used to illustrate your point. Your presuppositions were:

A) That anyone with an ounce of intelligence could figure out that the stereotypes you posted were not based on anything you actually believed, but rather, were used to illustrate your point.

B) That if anyone (including me) didn't agree with your assertion that the stereotypes you posted were not based on anything you actually believed, but rather, were used to illustrate your point, it meant they (me) didn't have an ounce of intelligence.

The truth is that I saw right through it and exposed it for the thinly-veiled personal attack it really was. You might think people that use stereotypes are ignorant---however, you have displayed far more ignorance by your actions in this thread than any woman who might have height preferences based on her own personal experiences, but that you choose to label as stereotyping.

My dating tactics have worked perfectly fine for me---and I've managed to attract a wonderful long-term partner. Can you say the same?
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 346
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 2/4/2012 12:14:22 PM
Now you're trying to backpedal and say you actually thought I was intelligent and only my "statement" was ignorant. If you're going to launch an attack against someone for disagreeing with your views, you could at least pick up a few of Confident-Realist's interpersonal skills---and learn to be a little less transparent about it.


I didn't launch an attack on you. Every time you quote me, your reaction to what I wrote starts with, "What you really meant by that is..."

You clearly don't know what I really meant because every single thing you've said could not be further from the truth. Your misconception appears to be based on the presumption that I was angry and felt a need to insult you. But I wasn't angry and I wasn't trying to insult you.

I thought you were intelligent before and I still think you are. That doesn't mean you're incapable of making an ignorant remark.


The truth is that I saw right through it and exposed it for the thinly-veiled personal attack it really was. You might think people that use stereotypes are ignorant---however, you have displayed far more ignorance by your actions in this thread than any woman who might have height preferences based on her own personal experiences, but that you choose to label as stereotyping.


Nope, you imagined a personal attack and you responded by launching into one of your own. And you've added to the attack in every post since.

For the last time, I don't have any issue whatsoever with women having height preferences. What I objected to was your remark tying low self esteem and abusiveness to a man's height.

Even though there has been a decent debate mixed in all the he said/she said BS. I'm about tired of it. So let's cease and desist....continue with the actual debate and not he said I'm this, she said that etc...etc


I'm trying, man.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 347
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 2/4/2012 1:36:47 PM
Now you're trying to backpedal and say you actually thought I was intelligent and only my "statement" was ignorant.

Here's the thing -- if you fit that mold of his point that he sees as ridiculous, that blondes are (usually) dumb, then that would defeat his argument. Yes, he used a commonly silly one that pertained to you... and if you were a very tall woman, he could just as easily use a silly one that pertained to tall women, so you'd instinctively go thru the process of seeing how/why the stereotype was idiotic -- thus, making the point as to how your stereotype is just as idiotic. There are statistically accurate (to various degrees) of stereotypes, and there are ones that are nonsense & just superstitious. Saying that blondes are usually dumb or tall women like to fight is one of the latter.

Aside from the silly-stereotype example that a refuter would fall into to make them think twice about theirs, since you do seem like an intelligent woman, it's more dumb-founding that you wouldn't get that your stereotype is just as silly & superstitious as blonde women tend to be dumb or old people tend to be bitter. When someone who's seemingly intelligent defends a ridiculous stereotype with such conviction, yes, there will probably, in the midst of posts are going to be words said that they're not being so bright. If you were a 19-year old gal TyPiN LiKe thIs with a profile full of duck faces and scissor-hands, it wouldn't be a shock and results would be different. I'm not saying it's cool to call someone as dumb, don't get me wrong ... but then again, people can irk others in many ways without that too... and sometimes not have the intent of 'attacking' anyone either way.

My dating tactics have worked perfectly fine for me---and I've managed to attract a wonderful long-term partner.

Although it doesn't take grand dating "tactics" to find a great match, I think the main thing is that whether a stereotype that shorter guys are usually (more) abusive is right or not. Your results would be pretty much the same if you didn't have that stereotype but were solidly unattracted to shorter guys. I think the only critique about "tactics" that could be said, would be that if shorter guys are More abusive, then you must be comparing non-shorter abusive guys you've dated to shorter abusive guys you've dated, indicating that you gravitate toward abusive guys too much/in general.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 348
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 2/4/2012 2:37:30 PM
The phrases "short man syndrome" and "Napoleon complex" and the like have been around for as long as I can remember. Typically it is women who use those phrases, and typically the man they are using to describe them is (yes, short) but also usually being rude or a jerk at the same time.

I think it's like "blondes are airheads" or "blondes have more fun" -- it's usually only applied when they face an individual who fits that mold. If a shorter guy has a very visible chip on his shoulder (like guys of all body-types can have), the Napoleon complex will be applied by someone annoyed by that.

It would strike me that occasionally vertically-challenged men might be faced with these stereotypes at some point or other. Just curious how you fellas handle things like that?

LOL - vertically-challenged would make me think of a guy who's so short he couldn't reach the cupboards without a stool or qualifies for a handicap sticker for his car (or very close to it). But as a shorter guy, yeah, there are thin-layered stereotypes but from what I know, nothing too major or sweeping by society. I've never heard abusive until now, and only Napoleon complex to select guys with an attitude while Also being considerably short guys (under 5'5"?). One could say shorter guys could have a Napoleon complex because by default, possibly seen as pushovers due to lack of stature, thus making up for a natural thought of the opposite. So you COULD say there is stereotypes on both ends -- they're either Napoleon-like or the opposite.

In the end, a shorter guy, IMO, mostly has its effects in date prospecting... But the same reasons why women generally/naturally aren't so into a guy who's one of the shorter ones in the room, society I guess could have slightly tilted assumptions throughout. I would say it'd be a bit harder to be a seen/accepted as a powerful person when notably shorter than average, all other things being equal, versus being above average of height. But I think like any thin-layered stereotype, that goes away once the individual is known decently well. In the end though, for normal American day-to-day life, it pretty much just gets in the way of options here or there for a guy... just like getting in great broad-shouldered shape increase's a guy's options.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 349
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 2/4/2012 3:26:39 PM
for all you men, .... go change your main profile pic, change your height to over six foot.
Don't change anything else on your profile.
Report back the change in your email traffic, and response
yep- height matters - for many it is their red flag.

Napoleaon conquers the land mass of Europe and all he is remembered for is his height - I would be pizzed too.
 MyScreennameRox
Joined: 12/11/2011
Msg: 350
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 2/4/2012 3:54:16 PM
I have had girls admit to me on okc that they use the search function to filter out any guys under 6 feet. No joke.
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