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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)      Home login  
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 Tim0066
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 26
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)Page 2 of 25    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25)
awesome! my favorite topic revived from 6 years ago

Guy walks in bar

Girl says to guy, "You're too short to date"

Guy says to girl, "Well, you're to fat to date"

Girl says "I should be loved for whats on the inside not outside"

Guy says "Well, what about me then, I should be loved for whats inside not outside"

Girl says "No you're a guy the rules don't apply to you, only to girls"
 theforumfiend
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 27
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 8/16/2011 12:01:52 AM
Good gawd guys. There are plenty of women that don't have issues with height. The constant dwelling on the ones that do is like women bytching because there are quite a few men obsessed with looks.

From personal experience it was not until I was in my 30's that a guy under 6' showed interest in me - and I'm a short shyt.
 sweetfunfitgirl
Joined: 5/14/2011
Msg: 28
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 8/16/2011 1:29:25 AM
Tim, this is a quote from your profile:

You MUST be in reasonable physical shape to go out and do things fun... bike riding, hiking snowboarding etc., I don't expect you to be an Olympic athlete but obese and lazy is NOT sexy... and if you think "looks don't matter" then you're deluded. I don't care if you think me shallow, but if you weigh more then I do... we're not going to date. If you go to the beach in long shorts and a t-shirt and won't wear a bikini... you're not what I find attractive.

Physical attraction is all that gets us a first date; personality is all that gets us a second.
 Casper66
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 29
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We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 8/16/2011 1:48:27 AM
Personally I like a guy around my own height or taller, it's just a preference and some bad experiences dating short men in the past. I don't think it is shallow to have preferences, thou I know a few guys from POF that I met that lied on their profiles about their true height, it was the lying that bothered me not the height issue.
 Vibrant_Rei
Joined: 8/7/2011
Msg: 30
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 8/16/2011 8:17:54 PM
Well for myself...it is more of complex. I am 5'11" and a few extra pounds. I would rather date a man that is taller for a few reasons...I would like the man look down 'into my eyes' while we kiss. Me doing that, in my mind...is a masculine thing to do. So I feel more like a woman or rather lady...if a man is taller. I think the sex can be awkward too...
 arts, dining, music, w/u
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 31
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 10/12/2011 7:59:54 AM
A lot of good and thoughtful responses. While I accept the reasoning about a woman wanting a tall guy when it comes to breeding, what about those women that are beyond their child bearing years? Let's not turn this into a discussion of 50+ y.o. women having children since that is the exception and not the rule.
 smokincigars
Joined: 3/25/2010
Msg: 32
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We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 10/12/2011 8:25:45 AM
I'm 5'10". The only problem I have with height is if the woman is so tall that I have to get on tiptoe to kiss her. And if the woman is willing to bend her knees a bit ...
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 33
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We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 10/12/2011 8:33:27 AM
Its a preference

I dont date or even bang "fat birds" but I make no apologies for that as I dont fancy them in the first place so its hardly something I can change just because some might consider it politically incorrect

On the hieght issue I also prefer women shorter than me which is just how it is and also isnt going to change no matter how much people might whinge and whine about it

The point is its not an "issue" for them, its a preference, its what they "like" or prefer

Some "might" be more flexible on it than others, some wont and some wont have that preference at all

But youre not going to nag someone into changing what they do and dont like so why bother?

Your time would be far better spent just focusing on the women whos preferences DONT exclude you rather than trying to change the preferences of women whos tastes DO exclude you

Makes you seem like less of a negative whiney type too which is always a good thing


As for the "breeding" thing, you obviously dont know much about human psychology

Yes some preferences do (possibly) have their roots in the instinctual breeding mechanism that we are born with

But theyre hard coded, and dont just vanish when actual breeding isnt wanted or physically viable anymore

For "some" people their requirements might just change with age, with others natural instincts might become superceeded by more cognitively driven requirements but that will only happen naturally, it wont happen because you complain about how "unfair" you think it is that some people dont want to date you

I am sure you have your own non negotiable "preferences" too which will just as readily exclude others who might also feel "miffed" about that, so whats your problem with other people ALSO having them?

The only person with any real right to complain about someone elses preferences is a person with NONE

And lets face it, they'd be desperate by anyones definition of the word, so who cares what they think anyway?
 arts, dining, music, w/u
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 34
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 10/12/2011 10:10:36 AM
On the height issue I also prefer women shorter than me which is just how it is and also isnt going to change no matter how much people might whinge and whine about it

So, I must ask of Mike; If you were in an accident and lost both legs, would you still then date only women shorter than yourself?

Further you stated:
But theyre hard coded, and dont just vanish when actual breeding isnt wanted or physically viable anymore.

If one is to be all inclusive in the statement that is offered as Mike's absolute truth, then no short guy ever ended up with any woman. Since this is an obvious false statement I must again quote you:

you obviously dont know much about human psychology

The pot called the kettle...??
 5150Rivergirl
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 35
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 10/12/2011 10:27:59 AM
i never have this issue. im only 5 foot 2
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 36
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We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 10/12/2011 10:56:08 AM

So, I must ask of Mike; If you were in an accident and lost both legs, would you still then date only women shorter than yourself?


I'd find a woman in a wheelchair too and let her tyres down lol

Seriously though, I'd probably still fancy the same women tbh. I doubt somehow that I would magically start to find fat or ugly women attractive, nor men, because of it

And despite never having stood next to Jennifer Aniston nor Jennifer Love Hewitt I still find their overall shapes absolutely gobsmackingly edibly scrumptious and I doubt that would change either

So chances are the same kind of shape/proportions I find attractive now would still be the same ones I'd find attractive then too



Further you stated:

But theyre hard coded, and dont just vanish when actual breeding isnt wanted or physically viable anymore.




If one is to be all inclusive in the statement that is offered as Mike's absolute truth, then no short guy ever ended up with any woman. Since this is an obvious false statement I must again quote you:



Actually if "one" is to be all inclusive then they would also be including people whos natural preferences are for someone taller than them, shorter, the same hieght, or where hieght isnt one of their preferences to begin with ACTUALLY

But in either of those instances someone whinging that it excluded them wont magically make their preference change

So the exact same thing would EQUALLY apply if a man was complaining about women who preferred shorter men than themselves or a woman who likes shorter men than herself complaining about men wanting a shorter woman

It doesnt matter WHAT the preference is, its that persons preference, and my point is that complaining about it wont make somebody instantly stop prefering it and that youre better off employing your time focusing on the people whos preferences DONT exclude you rather than whining about the ones that do

What the preference itself might be is irrelevant, as that statement applies across the board really wouldnt you say?
 pureblisscatch4u
Joined: 3/18/2011
Msg: 37
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 10/12/2011 1:20:35 PM
I notice guys being more obsessed with height than women. People who base who they choose on height are really dumb and insecure. Most guys only like women under 5'8" and this is because these guys are insecure and can only feel like men if they're with someone short. It's gross that society has brainwashed people like this. I talked to a guy once who's cut-off was 5'8" for women and I told him that his true love could be 5'9", but he's missing out because of his superficial insecurities. People who are this shallow and dumb don't deserve love, honestly.
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 38
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We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 10/12/2011 2:13:45 PM
I dont think it is more men that women tbh

Fairly equal as men being taller is a very common thing women seek

And rather than being "shallow" this along with people preferring certain bodyshapes and even some haircolours over others is theorised as being instinctual in nature and several studies have seemed to go some way to reinforcing that hypothesis

As for "I told him that his true love could be 5'9"" isnt that a bit of a silly and overly romanticised outlook?

There might be "a" person he "could" have grown to love who was that hieght, but if he doesnt find that hieght appealing obviously he would have been unlikely to "love" her if he didnt find her fanciable.

And its not like that one woman would be the only person on the planet he "could" love. If that was how it worked then we're all screwed really because that one singular person out of around 3 billion on the planet who is the ONLY one you could ever possibly love might not only be too tall or too short, they could also be born in a part of the world you will never visit in your entire life, they could have been run over by a bus when they were 6 or could have been forced into an arranged marriage when they were 12

And what about those poor souls who met that one and only person they "could" have loved only to have them die by some means. Thats it then? They cant ever meet anyone else they could ever love for the rest of their life? lol

So yeah, there might be someone 5'9" he might have fallen for if they had been wearing lower shoes or hadnt been as tall. But the reality is that theres probably hundreds if not thousands of other women who are 5'0/1/2/3/4/5/6/7 and 8" tall who he can also fall for should their paths ever meet

So I doubt he lost much sleep about that one gargantuan amazonian he missed out on due to the fact she was a hypothetical character to begin with really
 Wh1te_Rabb1t
Joined: 7/3/2010
Msg: 39
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 10/12/2011 2:26:24 PM
I think it's hilarious so many in here talk about height in terms of sex and breeding.

What about good old-fashioned vanity? My ex was 5 inches shorter, but every damn time we posed for a picture near a stairwell she insisted on standing on the first step so our height looked the same.

Most pairs of shoes that have 4+ heels look painful as hell, but women still wear them because they feel it makes them look good.

By the way, Women who are shorter than average (say <5' to 5'3"), that are looking for someone at MINIMUM is 5'10" or at least 6+ inches taller - that just screams of insecurity. - IMHO
 musical_turtle
Joined: 3/11/2011
Msg: 40
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 10/12/2011 2:57:35 PM
lol, Most men are taller than me (I'm only 5'1).
However, I like wearing heels...and with them on...I'm 5'4-5'5.
I still like the guy to be taller even if I'm wearing heels lol
I usually prefer men that are 5'10 or 5'11...but between the range of 5'8-6 ft is ideal =)
 pureblisscatch4u
Joined: 3/18/2011
Msg: 41
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 10/12/2011 3:26:06 PM
MikeWM: Umm, if 5'9" is a huge, enormous amazonian woman, you must be microscopic in height. If that's the case, I can see why that might frighten you and you get "overlooked" (pun intended). My point to that guy was that it is beyond ridiculous to discriminate against women down to the inch. What's so awesome about 5'8" and so hideous about 5'9"? And though we may not have ONLY one true love, true love is damn hard to find, if not impossible for many. It's pretty silly and plain douchebag-y of a guy to say a woman is unacceptable because she is even half an inch taller than his oh-so-high standards. By putting these ridiculous restrictions on searches, people are really limiting themselves and are showing their immaturity. I used to be more like that and, believe it or not, preferred guys my height, but have since had crushes on guys 6'6", with different looks than I usually go for, etc. People need to grow up and be open to less shallow restrictions.
Btw, I've always hated the hair color restrictions as well. Don't get me started on that grossness! I actually think the height b.s. kind of makes slightly more sense than the hair color b.s., if I had to choose one. But they're both gross.
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 42
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We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 10/12/2011 4:34:30 PM
Well firstly its called "sarcasm" (I'm british, so its kind of par for the course lol)

Secondly you say an inch doesnt make much of a difference, but according to these forums a fair few women would seem to disagree with you

People have to set some kind of limit somewhere though

Infact many sites search facility have hieght going up in inches. So if someone knows they prefer more petite women because theyre more feminine in appearance in their eyes what exactly? Pick a 6 foot max hieght if theyre 5'11"? Course not

Chances are that bloke HAS infact dated someone 5'9" and they were taller than he liked and thats where his "limit" came from rather than some random number he picked out of a hat

My "preference" is based on women I've found "more" appealing visually, and even though some of my best relationships have been with women just over that hieght doesnt mean that in the hieght department my preference has changed as it wasnt the fact they were taller that appealed

So an "ideal" mix would be the same kind of personality of the taller ones but with the physical attributes of the shorter ones

And you can say "shallow" till your blue in the face, but I doubt its going to change anybodies personal preferences by doing so.

Infact I would say its actually not having preferences or having looser ones thats more shallow as you'd then be basing your choices on fewer criteria rather than more

Take that to the extreme and practically anyone with a pulse would do, so how is that "higher" standards or less shallow?

Unless of course youre claiming that people ONLY choose a partner based on height, in which case yeah, thats JUST as shallow as ONLY choosing one based on personality or any other singular trait

But most people actually have a collection of preferences covering all aspects of a person physically and psychologically

And looking at it another way, I'll bet you have personality traits you avoid like taking drugs, drinking excessively, criminal record, dishonesty etc etc

Well how shallow are you excluding those things you dont like, how do you know theyre not totally fabulous people despite not being psychologically tall enough for you?

Or are your preferences different to anyone elses because theyre yours?
 Here_In_Florida
Joined: 4/4/2011
Msg: 43
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 10/12/2011 5:33:42 PM
I usually prefer men that are 5'10 or 5'11...but between the range of 5'8-6 ft is ideal =)


YES, I made the cut!

Women your height, finding a "tall" guy , well, most guys are tall by perspective. I'm 5'8", and I meet a lot of averaged sized (5'4" - 5'6") women on here that have the 6 feet rule.

So thus , I'd probably need to date a small, petite woman so I can appear tall from that point of view.


I notice guys being more obsessed with height than women. People who base who they choose on height are really dumb and insecure.


Ditto here, I don't mind height on a woman, I'd date an Amazonian height women, it wouldn't matter to me one bit. My physical attraction is not based on height, but other parameters.
Though, most women 5'9" or taller won't date a guy her height or shorter, if they do....they're a rare find. :-)

Usually TALL women want even TALLER.
 Wh1te_Rabb1t
Joined: 7/3/2010
Msg: 44
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 10/12/2011 8:11:59 PM
Match lists height preferences for both people. I'm 5'8", and list mine at 4'10" to 5'10" (I think).

I'm no official surveyor, but I would say easily 70% of women close to my height (5'3" to 5'9") list their MINIMUM preference at 5'10" or taller. Granted those are not absolutes, but it does weed me out of plenty of searches. Women that say they don't mind someone shorter need to back that up with their profile.

Online dating as a whole means people start searching 'above' their own status first, so looking for taller men is usually just the tip of the iceberg.
 pureblisscatch4u
Joined: 3/18/2011
Msg: 45
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 10/12/2011 9:43:41 PM
Yep, I'm one of the few tall ones who doesn't have a height restriction in either direction, and do back that up in my profile (I think I say that directly). I've dated guys from 5'4" to 6'3", but it's extremely rare to run into guys under 6 feet who will date a woman over 5'6" or so. I've heard some short guys say they only go for short girls, because they automatically think taller girls won't give them a chance. That's a bad attitude to have going into it and really cuts out a lot of great women they could meet.
I think you're totally right about people online trying to date above their status or find that absolute perfect person. Online dating is more shallow than in-person meets for sure, which I hadn't really thought about before.
 CADGrrl
Joined: 1/15/2011
Msg: 46
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 10/13/2011 7:15:18 PM
I had a bad height related experience last night on Fish...I'm still reeling in shock.

I was chatting with a man who listed 6'1" as his height - I'm 5'1" and I've had several men tell me they did not want to date me because I'm too short. The "tall guy" I was chatting with asked me if I had met anyone on here who was my height. I said yes sometimes but that I actually preferred tall men. I was trying to flirt with him based on his height!

He then proceeded to launch in to an irrational diatribe about how shallow and meaningless I am. Gee, I got flamed for the first time.

I also prefer Starbucks to Dunks, and sports cars to SUVs and dark chocolate...any takers ?

My dad is 6'2" and my mom is shorter than me - I've just always kind of thought that was nice...I'm used to looking up at my dad.
 Babyboyblue69
Joined: 9/26/2011
Msg: 47
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 10/13/2011 7:49:05 PM
I've dated taller and shorter.Were all the same size laying down lol. If you really like the person,doesn't really matter in the long run?
 Wh1te_Rabb1t
Joined: 7/3/2010
Msg: 48
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 10/13/2011 7:50:07 PM

I also prefer Starbucks to Dunks, and sports cars to SUVs and dark chocolate...any takers ?


Hell, yes! Would you consider moving to Minnesota in Winter?
(Laughter ensues)Annnnd.... *scene*
 coastalmermaid
Joined: 1/23/2011
Msg: 49
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 10/14/2011 8:40:11 AM
I have a friend who has been married to the same guy for 24 years and even now she says the height thing is Still an issue...for HIM! She's my height 5'8" and he's 5'6".

I've had many first meets with guys claiming to be 5'9" only to find on meeting they are shorter than me. Not an issue for me...but seems to be for them. One guy actually started to get upset and tried to argue right then and there! He claimed all these years I must have measured myself wrong.

I did go out a few times, wouldn't really call it 'dating', with a guy I thought I had a connexion with. He claimed to be my height 5'8" but was shorter than me. I saw him 3 times and each time HE would bring up the height thing...claiming over and over it really didn't bother him....hmmmm really????

Just a few examples...

I know I like to wear heels if I'm going somewhere nice...and from my experience many guys just are not comforable going out with a woman taller than them.

If everything else is right about a person...and they happened to be shorter than me it really wouldn't be an issue for me...but might be for them.
 fastdogphotog
Joined: 5/27/2008
Msg: 50
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We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 10/14/2011 9:52:36 AM
Is height more of an issue for women than men?

Sort of, as, IME, more women than men will quickly disqualify a potential date based on height (or lack thereof). However, I also think there are enough men that are uncomfortable with a significant height difference (especially if the women is much taller), that it's not exclusively an issue for women. Still, I know more men than women that will overlook an initial discomfort with a significant height difference, at least, to start, especially online.

Which leads to my next point, which someone else mentioned above; height seems to be much more of an issue on-line than IRL. In fact, I know a few women who have strict minimum height requirements on-line of 5'10" or above. These women won't respond to or contact anyone shorter than that. Yet, at the same time, they have dated men as short as 5'6" that they met IRL. So why the discrepancy? When I ask them, they usually say it's because on-line, they have to screen out guys somehow, and when it comes down to it, they would prefer to be with someone taller, but are willing to settle for someone shorter IRL who has something decent to offer.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)