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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)      Home login  
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 Goodgreatfantastic
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 126
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)Page 6 of 25    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25)
True enough, no argument there, that being said it's not impossible.

Back when I was going to Youth Group and I was 16, there was a girl that was completely out of my 'league' if you will. Basically all the guys wanted her, she enters the room and every guy in the room for some odd reason stepped right in front of her to block her path.

Me... in my odd moment of inspiration walked right through them, gentley moved them out of the way and paved her path into the room, I might have said something witty too but I can't remember, end result... she had a huge crush on me after that... of course I screwed it up later because I didn't think I had a chance and went after a different girl but you know them the breaks.
 arts, dining, music, w/u
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 127
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/17/2012 5:55:40 AM
One has to wonder how many missed opportunities a lot of women have let pass by.
 RIPTIDE59
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 128
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/17/2012 7:56:13 AM
@ OP Personally. Height is to women what weight is to men. I happen to like tan lean women with elongated muscle tone. Pretty much a runner's build. Height would be a non issue. All else being equal.
 RedElectric
Joined: 11/8/2011
Msg: 129
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/17/2012 11:42:49 AM
i'm a thick girl and i like my guys bigger and taller than me. it's just odd when you see a big girl with a scrawny guy. or two big shorties. might as well learn the oompa loompa song and sing it while strolling. LoL
in heels, people frequently only come up to my boobs. it's weird. go to hug him and he's all up in your boobs. not cute.
 Wh1te_Rabb1t
Joined: 7/3/2010
Msg: 130
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/17/2012 12:19:17 PM
I think this lends to the theory of insecurity...

On Match you can list your max/minimum height preferences, and although the computer does not limit out exclusively on height, it does becomes a factor in searches and percentage of compatibility. here's what I've observed...

- Very short women (5 ft and under) height minimums usually go for 4-6 inches taller (5'4" -5'6") - I'm assuming because they realize climbing a tree for a kiss is too much work

-- Ladies just over 5 ft to about 5'4" really go a lot taller - +6-10 inches more - 5'10" or 6 ft for their MINIMUM requirement. (Insecurity?)

- Ladies around 5'6" or taller generally list the SAME height or maybe a few inches taller for their minimum (5'9" or so)

I'm 5'8", so I'm stuck in a grey zone of not preferred height. Annoying? Yes. Impossible to deal with? No.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 131
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/17/2012 4:18:05 PM
If every thing that I am is only measured by my height....
Its ok to measure everything from them on their tits, or lack their of.

shallow is as shallow does.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 132
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We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/17/2012 4:42:13 PM
"in heels, people frequently only come up to my boobs. it's weird. go to hug him and he's all up in your boobs. not cute."

^^^^^ I'm 100% sure he's not complaining at all. The look on his face...

Height doesn't matter to me. It all washes out horizontally.
 BrookfieldGentlemanTom
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 133
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/17/2012 4:59:36 PM

I think it's a matter of having that security...feeling safe....so yeah, they have to be taller than me


who is after you?
who wants to murder or rape you?
why are you afraid, do you live in a drug infested ghetto?
did you snitch on the mob?
is your ex a psycho?
do aliens threaten to abduct you?


yeah with him taller that will keep you safe from all of the above.
 Jesswham
Joined: 1/9/2012
Msg: 134
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/17/2012 5:15:50 PM
Yeah most women prefer taller men. Usually at least 6'0 that's the magic number. Even women who are 5'0 want the 6'0 guys. It's more of a status and feeling safe thing. Plus it doesn't help when an average height woman wears 6 inch heels. We're practically walking on mini stilts. Also it's really bad for our feet but for some reason it's the style and we have to keep up with the style.

I actually know a guy that was around 5'7. Now he's 5'10 but that's still not really good enough. How did he gain 3 inches? He got leg lengthening surgery done. Which involves breaking your legs and screwing metal braces into your bones. He said everyday he had to turn some screws to stretch his legs out 1mm. Cost him nearly 200 grand, and 8 months of pain and rehab to learn to walk again basically. He said he got it done so women would respect him more and he believed it would open up more job opportunities since taller men are seen as the alpha males and get better positions and pay. Which is true studies have shown taller men and attractive women get the best jobs and better pay. Seems extreme but lots of guys are having it done it seems.
 lobo65
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 135
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We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/17/2012 5:35:19 PM
I do feel for the shorter guys because it's something they can't change. At least if a person is overweight, they can diet or have weight-loss surgery. I have seen quite a few women who stated they wouldn't date anyone under 6"0. I'm on the bottom range of a lot of their "requirements" at 5'1o.

Heck my mom is taller than me, and she is 6"0.
 lobo65
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 136
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We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/17/2012 6:00:13 PM
"I actually know a guy that was around 5'7. Now he's 5'10 but that's still not really good enough. How did he gain 3 inches? He got leg lengthening surgery done. Which involves breaking your legs and screwing metal braces into your bones. He said everyday he had to turn some screws to stretch his legs out 1mm. Cost him nearly 200 grand, and 8 months of pain and rehab to learn to walk again basically. He said he got it done so women would respect him more and he believed it would open up more job opportunities since taller men are seen as the alpha males and get better positions and pay. Which is true studies have shown taller men and attractive women get the best jobs and better pay. Seems extreme but lots of guys are having it done it seems."



Holy smoke. I have heard of that surgery, but thought it usually was only performed in Asian countries. I can't imagine being that desperate to be tall. It sounds like it's very painful.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 137
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We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/17/2012 6:20:37 PM
"I actually know a guy that was around 5'7. Now he's 5'10 but that's still not really good enough. How did he gain 3 inches? He got leg lengthening surgery done. Which involves breaking your legs and screwing metal braces into your bones. He said everyday he had to turn some screws to stretch his legs out 1mm. Cost him nearly 200 grand, and 8 months of pain and rehab to learn to walk again basically. He said he got it done so women would respect him more and he believed it would open up more job opportunities since taller men are seen as the alpha males and get better positions and pay. Which is true studies have shown taller men and attractive women get the best jobs and better pay. Seems extreme but lots of guys are having it done it seems."

How much is the cost of implanting a brain?

@LukeT77: I could not agree more.
 RedElectric
Joined: 11/8/2011
Msg: 138
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/17/2012 6:31:59 PM
They did that surgery in the movie Gattaca too, I believe

LoL @ "how much for a brain implant"
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 139
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/17/2012 6:33:19 PM

Yeah most women prefer taller men. Usually at least 6'0 that's the magic number.


The funny thing about that magic number is that roughly 80% of men are shorter than that, so most women are going to have to compromise on that requirement or get used to being alone.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 140
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/17/2012 7:43:09 PM
I remembered this show on TV a long time ago, the situation is actually much worse than women will admit in a public forum.

In an experiment on female sexual selection (reported by the TV news show 20/20) women were asked to choose between hypothetical men of differing stature. The short guy was really short - 5 footish - but he was also, women were told, super smart and sophisticated, even eminent, a Nobel Prize winner or something. The tall guy, on the other hand, was exceedingly average: undistinguished, unambitious, intellectually banal, etc. Women chose the tall guy every time. When a subject was asked whether she could imagine any circumstances under which she would choose the short guy she responded, "I guess if you told me the tall one was a murderer. Or a child molester."

Two points here. First, that woman was probably lying because women pursue death row inmates with sufficient frequency that (and this is totally true) 20/20 subsequently ran a story titled “Why Are Women Marrying Murderers?”. Second, when SF women complain all the time that SF men are physically unattractive we know what they really mean: that SF men are short. This is vexing for SF guys, and understandably so because we aren't THAT short. We aren't Lilliputians, moonlighting in some B movie with Ted Danson; we're simply a wee bit below average.

The lower average is probably influenced by San Francisco’s relatively high representation of Hispanic and Asian men (which comprise 14% and 33% of SF males, respectively (approximately)). In this regard SF heightism is wildly unfair, even if we accept the predicate that height reflects in some small way genetic fitness, because our Hispanic and Asian brothers are not actually short, they just happen to live in a nation where the majority of men have an African or European lineage, genetic lines that, by some Darwinian happenstance and over many millennia, sacrificed spatial reasoning and number processing skills for a few extra inches of elevation.** So the latter don’t get into UCLA but they do get into UCLA girls' pants, which is both pathetic and sort of ingenious.

Heightism, by this measure, seems fabulously random, totally discriminatory and economically counter-productive. Given women’s obsession with height you'd think that the NBA propped up the national economy. Imagine asking a non-socialized third party, a Martian say, to scrutinize our modern, information-based economic order and identify which trait is more highly prized by humans, height or brain power. The alien would choose brain power every time, right? Of course, because that alien would be a short, self conscious Jupiter-head and totally compensating.

This all flows from a sociological fact we're dimly aware of but never really think about: male attractiveness doesn't exist in the abstract - it's a fluid thing that depends on your environment. You can be pretty average in life, for example, but if you develop one situationally specific skill, like being a black-belt in karate, and publicize it, by say teaching a co-ed karate class, then you're suddenly a bonafide bad-ass, at least behind the doors of the dojo. Meanwhile that handsome lady-killer who made the mistake of signing up for beginners' karate will suddenly seem very beta, especially if you regularly use him as a punching bag.

In other words, all that a guy needs to be desirable is a one socially relevant talent. You can be poor if you're brawny, you can be weak if you're brainy, you can be boring if you're beautiful, you can be bald if you're a black-belt, so long as you have some forum to show off your excellence. But the one thing you can't be is short. There's no redeeming talent for that. Women put up with lying, cheating, beating, stealing, murdering pregnant women, but they won't touch a short guy with a six foot, 2 inch pole.

In San Francisco it's worse because we're both short and living in a community known to be disproportionately populated by short guys, which drives women away in hordes, like the Computer Science building on any college campus. And where do all the girls go? No one knows for sure but we might want to check San Quentin or Pelican Bay during conjugal visiting hours.
 RIPTIDE59
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 141
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/17/2012 7:52:48 PM
@ Jess Yeah, I'm 5'10'.......Started my own business last year. Less pain. I'll just find a lean , tan woman to date. Less pain. Push the easy button.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 142
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/17/2012 8:00:56 PM
My first LTR and first GF was 2-3 inches taller than, since we were in love we didn't really pay that much attention to it. But I didn't like it that she would have a hard time sitting in my lap, and she was on the heavy side, not obese like many women today, but still a bit chubby.

While we were together almost 10 years, ever since then I dated women shorter than me. Now I prefer shorter.

I can understand why women want a taller man. They get a really good feeling from having a man be able to hold them in his arms, pick them up , really make them feel loved and safe. It's just a good physical feeling.

When I was at a certain age it would bother me, but now I travel internationally quite a bit, in places like Thailand or hong kong I am average height, and women there are looking for a man with ligher skin, one that speaks English, and a large segment of the population is looking for a "farang".

I can date here also, but why bother when the selection is so much better in so many other countries? Sure I would like somene like Jesswham, but she would first think I was too short then also too old.

We all got problems of one sort or another, and it someone feels like they have it made, well sh*t happens. I feel lucky myself to be in the situation I am currently in.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 143
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/19/2012 12:17:06 AM
Have an expensive, painful and elective surgery to appear 3 inches taller to garner attention from women - only to find that it still isnt enough ??!?!
sounds like the issue is 1) his self worth 2) basing ANY of it off of what a woman thinks

If you are THAT concerned about your height - you are aiming towards shallow women.
I chose to find a girl that knows that the size of my love is not limited by the height of my head ; She is 5-9; often over 6-0 in heels - and yes for the Halloween Masquarade we did go as Boris and Natasha.
You want better quality fish, - fish better; you don't drop your line in your back yard pool hoping for marlin - extrapolate appropriately.
 good_catch77
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 144
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/19/2012 7:24:05 AM
At 5'10" if a woman is concerned about my height, I'm thinking she wants a basketball player. But I will defend short guys being stereotyped...why because I think its a unfair stereotype. Like other stereotypes. I could go off on a rant here about stereotypes but going to hold back.

This thread has the classic

"I need to feel protected"

Loved the poster that mentioned if they are snitching on the mob, live in the ghetto, etc constantly needing protection. If you do then you're not the girl for me.

Oh you're "hardwired" well I don't believe in this term as much as I don't believe all stereotypes are true for everyone...

If you prefer taller men that's fine just don't give lame excuses of being hardwired, needing to feel protected, etc.

What's more shallow to me is that some women (and men) stereotype short men and that is the reason they don't date them. Not that they prefer taller men as solely a physical attribute...
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 145
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/19/2012 8:49:18 AM
Height is no different than any other physical feature. If that's what is important to someone, they have every right to look for it in a partner. Whether they are able to find it is another matter.

What I will point out is that the more criteria you have and the more restrictive they are, the lower the likelihood is that you'll meet someone you can date. Eliminating 80% of the population with a single criterion means you'd better not have any other criteria that are so restrictive.

Here's an example: Say we're seeking an adult Caucasian Christian male in a 10 year age bracket who is at least 6 feet tall and earns more than $90K annually. Doesn't sound like much, does it? Using US census data, however, you can calculate that about one in 20,000 men meets all the criteria. Another way of looking at it, in a city of half a million population, there are only a dozen or so men that would pass muster.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 146
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/19/2012 9:39:22 AM
^^^^EDIT: I left out two criteria in the above statistical exercise: that the subject not be overweight and that he have a handsome face (about 1 in 5).
 Wh1te_Rabb1t
Joined: 7/3/2010
Msg: 147
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/19/2012 12:19:01 PM
I used Match to do a detailed search for men in my area (Minneapolis-St.Paul) by height. Despite the idea there are a LOT of guys that lie about their height by two inches or so, the searches showed the 50/50 divider was between 5'9" and 5'10". So, any woman who reduces their search to 5'10" and above was eliminating HALF the online dating population without any other criteria set. Take away the guys that lie about height and you could probably put that height divider an inch lower.

"Where have all the good guys gone?"
"Where are all the REAL Men?"

*Ahem* Right in front of you - at eye level. Try looking ahead instead of straight up.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 148
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We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/19/2012 4:37:04 PM
^^^^^ I think that they're looking up for rainbows and unicorns...

@Paderic: How many of those dozen or so guys are actually available? Reality check time...
 lindalooking74
Joined: 9/19/2011
Msg: 149
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/20/2012 9:47:02 AM
here, here. Statements like that regarding our self esteem is uaually made by men who are not so tall and DO have low self esteems. I mean come on. Looking at your long tall man sprawled out on the bed, very sexy. They look hot and actually us women who prefer the tall ones have the confidence and self esteem to say.."we are holding out for that 4-10 % of men that are tall and we are putting that out there for all to see".
 wtyl
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 150
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/20/2012 11:26:24 AM
Bottom line, I suppose is that it's frustrating being 'eliminated' for something that doesn't SEEM it should eliminate us.

But attraction is in the eye of the beholder, unfortunately.

And online dating seems to make many of us really shallow....

I'm 5'3" and have always felt like going out with someone taller than 6' was somehow unfair (I have a 5'11" friend who actually got miffed at me when I dated a 6'2" guy) but it's not something I would EVER put down as a requirement.

I'm just surprised the more I read on here about how much people limit their searches and then wonder why they are not having luck.

I'm often greeted with an 'article' about 'Don't Write Him Off' when I sign off of PoF. Do men get an analogous article?
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