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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)      Home login  
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 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 201
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)Page 9 of 25    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25)
I can see an inch or possibly two, but any more than that is an outright lie.... I'm tired of men who post their height as 5'11" and are actually 5'9"

I'm honestly not trying to pick you apart, but just using this as an example. It actually comes down to impression.... if they look like they're 5'10" and really (oh, interesting, the measure on the wall says) pretty much 5'9", a good amount will still bite .... but if he totally Looks 5'9", wtf.

It's a lot like someone posting a picture of them appearing to have a huge chest or zero wrinkles despite their age in their pics, but upon meeting, their chest isn't big or they have more wrinkles than appeared, despite the pics being pretty new. Pics CAN be as "exact", as far as impression is concerned, as raw numbers. Also, many people think not just themselves are taller by an 1, 1.5, or even 2 inches (in their shoes), but Other people as well if they're not within their own height range (notably taller or notably shorter).

If height didn't matter that much to someone, then it shouldn't affect them if the guy said he was 5'9" but ends up really looking like 5'11". I've met girls who say they're 5'3", but really, they're as tall or just slightly shorter than just about every girl in the place when they're not wearing any notable heels and in an area where the population is a little above average in height. And some tall girls say they're 5'8", but they end up seeming around 5'7" max, and closer to 5'6".

A lot of people get "it wrong". They'll think they're 5'11" (under six foot is in their mind), wouldn't be shocked if they're maybe closer to 5'10" in today's age, but in reality, they're not much more than 5'9".... and they'll think their friend is 5'11" who's really roughly in the same minimal-inches category as he.

It's the same as other things that one cares less about. It doesn't require something to be exactly numerically measurable to give a false impression that's noticeably a bit off -- but it will be "a lot off" to them, if it's important to them. And yes, height is one of those things when it comes to many girls about guys.
 CheezyChick
Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 202
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/23/2012 3:53:44 PM

And I'll ask you take off your bra and measure your true bust line to ensure there is no "padding"...or waist line...or even weight like Paderic said. The tables could be turned and most women wouldn't appreciate it...so why should men? Even in jest this would be distasteful for either gender to do.


I personal don't have a height restriction when it comes to dating...and have dated men my own height and less than also. It's really not about how tall they are ...it's about being honest. I just don't get why men fudge about it...it isn't something you can hide, (like bust size or waist line). It's clearly visible without removing clothing.

And I agree it is distasteful for both genders....as is lying about it.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 203
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/23/2012 7:06:55 PM

It's really not about how tall they are ...it's about being honest.

I actually disagree. I mean, it's better if it's right-on-par, don't me wrong. But to be irked isn't about the honesty part. If it was raw honesty, a guy who says he's 5'9" but ends up (when you whip out the tape measure) being basically 5'11", you wouldn't have a problem with. He could use some "excuse" like he figured he was probably a little over 5'9", but your reaction wouldn't be the same if things were reversed. You've may never have had that, but you aren't going to question a guy's honesty if it's for the better (unless it's wack; like he says he's 5'6" but ends up being 6'0"; then that's just odd; but you'd be turned off more if it was reversed still).

It's about being dishonest about looking worse than your profile. Same goes with picture if one feels it's "blatant", too. You can find out someone says they live in Springfield, but really they live about 15m outside (but not further away from you), and justify that Lie due to privacy reasons. I guess a guy could say he put 5'9" when he's really 5'7" because he's a little over 5'7", and many other guys are doing it, so many women will assume it's always at least a bit lower anyway, etc. Well, it's about looks and it's end is in a negative direction of virtually all tastes, so sorry -- can't do that. :)

I doubt guys would be pissy if they met a gal who's assortment of pictures with Clear views of the chest looked like she was about a B cup, but when meeting her she had a D cup. "How dare you be deceptive online?! I'm going home!"
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 204
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History
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/23/2012 7:37:09 PM
^^^^^ I can live with that kind of deception. Bonus!
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 205
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/23/2012 7:50:56 PM
I don't buy the part about guys not knowing precisely how tall they are.
 wisewoman_57
Joined: 10/12/2009
Msg: 206
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/23/2012 7:53:10 PM
dan88anew Sez:
"They could hide it though. They could just wear some kind of platformed shoe or something with long trousers so you dont see the platforms. "

He heh...when I was in my 20s, I went out with a guy who was about 5'5" (I'm 5'8"), and he did exactly that, and it worked because platforms were 'in' back then. He wore platforms, and I wore little flat cotton shoes called Maryjanes and we were about the same height :o)
 good_catch77
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 207
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/23/2012 8:12:11 PM

I personal don't have a height restriction when it comes to dating...and have dated men my own height and less than also. It's really not about how tall they are ...it's about being honest. I just don't get why men fudge about it...it isn't something you can hide, (like bust size or waist line). It's clearly visible without removing clothing.

And I agree it is distasteful for both genders....as is lying about it.


1st let me get this straight, I'm just discussing this for a debate and being devils advocate. If a woman dismissed me on solely my height. My but would be hurt for sure but after that I wouldn't care.

I agree about lying but if women consider fudging about there bust size, padded bra enhancing and not lying how is adding a inch (or even two) not enhancing. I'm mainly talking about online dating where they have search criteria of min height. So a guy that made himself 6' may just done it to ensure he was in the searches. Then at a 1st met they may see that he fudged a inch or two. But who would really notice a inch or two unless they brought a tape measure or just really observant.

I was mainly talking about rounding up like if you was 5'11 and 1/2" and saying you was 6'...IMO the person is 6'...

So IMO unless its more than a couple of inches I don't really seeing it as lying. Even though I am completely truthful in my profile with my height. Like I said just for debate purposes. I see it like a woman with a padded bra...he is enhancing his chances. I mean if he is 5'6" and says he's 6' that is lying...if he's 5'10" or more and says he's 6' he's just enhancing his chances.
 CheezyChick
Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 208
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/23/2012 8:19:23 PM

I actually disagree. I mean, it's better if it's right-on-par, don't me wrong. But to be irked isn't about the honesty part. If it was raw honesty, a guy who says he's 5'9" but ends up (when you whip out the tape measure) being basically 5'11", you wouldn't have a problem with. He could use some "excuse" like he figured he was probably a little over 5'9", but your reaction wouldn't be the same if things were reversed. You've may never have had that, but you aren't going to question a guy's honesty if it's for the better (unless it's wack; like he says he's 5'6" but ends up being 6'0"; then that's just odd; but you'd be turned off more if it was reversed still


I think you're right...I thought about it, and I probabely wouldn't be irked if he ended up taller than what he had posted. I think I would still notice and mention it if it was obvious though. But that doesn't happen, it's always less than what he posted...sometimes much less, sometimes a little.

So it really is about the honesty.....tall men don't make themselves shorter.

Hmmmm....I think
 DomG79
Joined: 3/12/2011
Msg: 209
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/24/2012 4:07:13 AM
Dragonbits, I thought you said you read my profile? I think by now, whether I am not getting women because of my height or my attitude could be legitimate. One other thing is my honesty. I admit my relationship history and my height, two things I cannot change.

I mention my honesty because I say what I am looking for on that very profile of mine that you took the time to skim over and critique. I didn't come here to meet a prostitute in Thialand. I am looking for the other half of my heart. POF hasn't worked for me, but my options are slim.

The dress code at most bars where I live is silk shorts, silk robe, hand wraps, and 8 oz gloves. All they do is fight. Not a good environment if you are trying to avoid jail. That is only a slight exaggeration.

I spend more time helping others than I do myself. Ask anyone who knows me. As far as me finding someone, I have done everything and nothing has worked, at least for a long length of time.

I am grateful for your advice, as condescending as it may be. I actually say that without anger. I cannot knock you for trying to help. You are a saint for that.

Just because I want someone attractive doesn't mean I just care about sex, it is quite the opposite.
 wtyl
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 210
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/24/2012 6:34:34 AM

Most woman under 5'6 are very cute and sexy , on the other hand Tall woman seem to be clumsy and lack brain power. Tall man are****, arrogant and narcissistic and always belittle short man to feel good about them.


Pages (and pages and pages) of responses and the results are:

- Stereotypes are BAD when they stereotype me, but otherwise let me do some stereotyping!

Seriously? Are people on here to discuss or just to keep the argument going? (And I suppose there is value in both).

Jerks come in all sizes. So do nice people. shesh.
 good_catch77
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 211
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/24/2012 7:01:39 AM

But who said it wasn't?


Quite a few woman have this double standard that they can pad their bra, wear a corset, heck heels enhances (doesn't it that's not how tall you are) but a man that might wear tighter jeans, cowboy boots (which are usually heeled not stiletto but still a heel) or anything else that enhances himself he is utterly just lying. In their opinion it is alright for them but for men it's wrong. I never said every woman so I know you don't speak for every woman.


I would notice 2 inches. 5'10" looks completely different from 6'.


You're very observant like I said. Some women may understand why he might want to do this online dating, not IRL...the only reason I've had anyone ask me how tall I am is if its family (look how much you've grown after years of being seen last). At 5'10" I'm plenty tall enough for most women in my area. The only ones I've seen have restrictions is online...


Again, 1/2" completely different from 2"


So you wouldn't be upset that the man "rounded up"? How bout if he rounded down? (even though like another poster said most wouldn't be upset in fact may be surprised...


That is, as you say, your opinion and doesn't make it so


I never said IMO was gospel just putting it out there for debate reasons.


I agree that neither is right.


Me too, that is my main argument that if a woman thinks padding her bra is not lying then how is rounding up the 1/2"?


And, as I said, saying he is 6' when he is 5'10" is more than "just enhancing his chances", it is blatantly misleading.


So is the woman that uses enough padding to change her bust size, since you agree with that we have no argument with that. I would be very upset if I made it to the bedroom with a woman and was looking forward to "handling" them and we got to the part of her taking off her bra and that ample C cup turned into a A cup because of some padding...
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 212
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/24/2012 7:03:30 AM
- Stereotypes are BAD when they stereotype me, but otherwise let me do some stereotyping!


When it comes to physical attraction, I don't have an issue with someone's preference. I just caution them about setting the bar so high that virtually nobody qualifies.

I do object when somebody starts associating personality traits with physical features. This is stereotyping, and they will be wrong a lot more often than they will be right.

Me too, that is my main argument that if a woman thinks padding her bra is not lying then how is rounding up the 1/2"?


I think you're splitting hairs. Rounding to the nearest inch is not what women object to. It's fudging by an inch or more that is deceitful.

Comparing this to a garment that people wear everyday doesn't make sense. It wouldn't be realistic to expect that people show up naked when you meet. There is no deceit involved in wearing "normal" clothing. Now, if we're talking about a bra that makes a B cup look like a D, then I would agree.
 CheezyChick
Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 213
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/24/2012 7:26:19 AM

I can understand if you just naturally go for taller guys, but please don't try to rationalise your preference by making some ridiculous suggestion that taller guys are somehow more honest

Oh please, I was suggesting no such thing...this is completely out of the ballpark. Being tall in no way relates to being 'more' honest. Here's what I was responding to:

I actually disagree. I mean, it's better if it's right-on-par, don't me wrong. But to be irked isn't about the honesty part. If it was raw honesty, a guy who says he's 5'9" but ends up (when you whip out the tape measure) being basically 5'11", you wouldn't have a problem with. He could use some "excuse" like he figured he was probably a little over 5'9", but your reaction wouldn't be the same if things were reversed. You've may never have had that, but you aren't going to question a guy's honesty if it's for the better (unless it's wack; like he says he's 5'6" but ends up being 6'0"; then that's just odd; but you'd be turned off more if it was reversed still

Maybe read up on what you're responding to before 'you' make a riciculous suggestion.

Lying about your appearance is not gender specific...both men and women do it. I don't think it's okay on either account.
 BrookfieldGentlemanTom
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 214
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/24/2012 7:44:12 AM

I'm 5'3", so any guy 5'4" and up is fine with me.
I just won't be able to wear high heels unless the guy is 5'6"


why wouldn't you be able to wear heels? any woman can wear heels, it's perfectly legal.

ohhhh because you would be TALLER than the man!!!

with this "LOGIC" we can surmise that:

you cannot weigh more than the man.
you cannot be smarter than the man
you cannot make more money or have a better job than the man either.
you can't drive a nicer car or have a more opulent home than the man.
you can't be better at pool, darts, bowling or putt putt than the man.
you cannot be a great deal better looking than the man.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ECT~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

and we have so many women on POF asking men not to judge the book by the cover!!!!
it's hilarious!
 Wh1te_Rabb1t
Joined: 7/3/2010
Msg: 215
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/24/2012 7:54:14 AM

I cant understand anyone who would add 2inchs to their height because their going to find out sooner or later.


When it comes to computer search results, the number of searches for a guy 5'10" or taller versus 5'8" or taller is absolutely huge. The difference between 6'0" searches and 6'2" searches is negligible. If you're not in that range, you probably won't understand. I don't have a napoleon complex when it comes to meeting people in-person that may be taller, but I do have a serious issue with all the vanity women use in their searches for nitpicking little details that really have no bearing on overall compatibility.

One woman commented on how they like taller guys because of the thrill they can toss them onto the bed - height has nothing to do with that - it's a level of fitness. I'm finding at 40 my real advantage is that I still have an iron-solid back that's strong and a lot of my peers are whining about slipped disks and whatnot. You want to get acrobatic in the bedroom? bring the chalk.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 216
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/24/2012 9:34:42 AM

When it comes to computer search results, the number of searches for a guy 5'10" or taller versus 5'8" or taller is absolutely huge.


So what? If you have to lie to be included in searches, what do you accomplish? In the end, you'll get busted and probably wind up back at square one. Aren't you better off looking for someone that won't exclude you from searches based on your height?
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 217
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/24/2012 10:25:13 AM
Dominic, then go study muay thai and date some nice office girl, it's much easier in LOS as the average height of men is 5.5. There is a subset of the population that is looking for a foreign man and your height is actually tall. If you can afford it, I guarantee it will work.

I looked the profile over, what came through to me was you were defensive and angry, not much positive about what you want to do.

Not sure how you get rid of the anger, I was giving you a short cut.

I on the other hand care about sex a lot, but I only like it with someone I care about.

take care and good luck
 Wh1te_Rabb1t
Joined: 7/3/2010
Msg: 218
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/24/2012 10:29:51 AM

I am fine with that as it is a preference to which he is perfectly entitled and which needs no defending or explaining.

Same applies to height.


Can you explain why women under 5'3" tend to have a preference for guys TALLER than 5'10", yet women that are only slightly taller (5'6")tend to prefer guys that are their own height or maybe 2-3" taller?

-- I'm claiming that 'preference' is skewed towards vanity, not towards practicality - and no, I'm not fine with women who choose their fantasy first. Granted, vanity takes a lot of other forms, but height preferences is a lot more clear-cut and easier to prove than other choices.
 Justcheckingfor1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 219
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/24/2012 10:30:13 AM
Worry about what you can change, not what you can not change such as how tall you are, or what happened yesterday or last year. And you will find your height not being much of an issue at all. I am a very short guy by the way... And I have found by not making an issue of how tall I am, that it never becomes an issue.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 220
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/24/2012 6:46:20 PM
Can you explain why women under 5'3" tend to have a preference for guys TALLER than 5'10", yet women that are only slightly taller (5'6")tend to prefer guys that are their own height or maybe 2-3" taller?


Trying to apply logic to affairs of the heart is an exercise in futility. Never mind that whatever you're using as a source to support your conclusion is probably not statistically relevant.


and no, I'm not fine with women who choose their fantasy first.


Well, good luck with that.
 DomG79
Joined: 3/12/2011
Msg: 221
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/25/2012 2:41:10 AM
Dragonbits, where is LOS? Laos? I shouldn't have to run away from my problems by leaving the country. I have a house, job, and I am in school. I don't have the time to pack up my belongings and move anywhere, even if I could afford it or if I wanted to. My profile isn't nearly has hostile or negative as it could be. I actually toned it down. Your random advice is amusing but not practical. If this is your idea of helping, I suppose I appreciate it.

I like the person I am, and I never made my height an issue until I entered the world of online dating. My ex was 5', she didn't have a problem with my height, nor have most women that I have met outside of the Internet. They range from various heights. Right now, with my schedule, I am not getting the opportunity to meet too many outside of my job or online. Most of the ones at my job that I click with are taken. I didn't always have such a horrible attitude either. The more that people tell me that there is something wrong with me because of my past relationships, the more upset I get. I go for periods of time not thinking about it or dwelling on it. Nothing seems to really go my way then either. What am I supposed to do, just give up and try to bottle up my feelings just so people will accept me?
 wtyl
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 222
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/25/2012 5:27:26 AM

And I have found by not making an issue of how tall I am, that it never becomes an issue.


Indeed. I got a couple/few messages from someone yesterday and in every single one (including the first he sent) he mentioned his height, called himself short, talked about the height of women who were contacting him.

I never had put limits in my searches and wouldn't have even looked at that had he not mentioned it.

Sometimes the elephant in the room really isn't there, perhaps??
 CheezyChick
Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 223
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/25/2012 5:49:53 AM

Fast-forward to when I started online dating and suddenly the whole 'height issue' began to rise to the fore. It's a harsh revelation, but I guess women tend to be far more forthright and adamant about their dating preferences when searching speculatively on a dating site than they might be when encountering random guys they meet in real life (where they can judge the guy as a 'whole package'). This is most likely because with online dating, we only have the photo, the 'stats', and (if we bother to look any further) the profile to go on, so many of us tend to fixate on them - plus there's the perception of having more options online, so both people of genders tend to hold out more for their 'ideal'

This is eye opening for me....I suppose alot of women have height restrictions on their profiles....very different from real life as you said. I think people are more specific on here and yes, looking for their 'ideal'. And I'm okay with that....everyone is entitled to their preferences. I'm confused as to why one would lift their hieght up a few inches to be included in a search that they are obivously not the preference?



- and no, I'm not fine with women who choose their fantasy first.

Why not? Women, (and men), have every right to choose whomever they want , fantasy's included...I personally have no desire to date someone who's criteria I don't measure up to. How great would that be "Look I don't have a J-lo butt like you wanted but I can do monkey tricks and a backflip like nobodys business
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 224
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/25/2012 7:03:56 AM
However, it is not uncommon for people to exaggerate or outright lie in order to have an opportunity to apply for the job - after all, many people who do this end up being very successful at the job - but they wouldn't have even been invited for an interview based on what they look like on paper.


They also get fired as soon as they are found out. I don't know of many companies where it wouldn't be considered an ethics violation (and they do continue to fact check after hiring).

Same thing with personal relationships, more often than not you're unceremoniously dumped as soon as you're busted.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 225
We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)
Posted: 1/25/2012 7:30:22 AM
I've worked at my current company for 5 years now, and I've never had to produce any certification of my university degree to prove I actually attended and graduated with the grade I have declared.


Unless you falsified your resume, how do you know they didn't check?

If you did falsify, you can be terminated with cause at any time. I wouldn't want to have that hanging over my head every day.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > We talked about weight, well, what about height? :-)