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 smileee4u
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 241
Why a virgin?Page 5 of 19    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)
If he wants to marry a virgin, then he must go to a church and meet a girl who has declared "celibacy" as a lifestyle. He must be the same. Hopefully, he will do this, because he will not find this, unless he finds a girl in a Big Church.
 Gourmetchef50
Joined: 11/24/2007
Msg: 243
Why a virgin?
Posted: 6/20/2008 12:37:55 PM
well....i'm 5o..and that ship has sailed...but i will tell you..my 1st marriage was to a virgin, and it was the worst sex ever..she couldnt learn to swallow..and it was up to me to do everything..
 pete_1972
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 245
Why a virgin?
Posted: 6/20/2008 9:11:55 PM
Well look at it this way!
if you marry a girl that has slept with a different guy each week...chances are that she will continue doing so after you married!
There are no absulutes here but the odds are just stacked in your favour when marrying a virgin compared to someone who likes to sleep around!

For the record I dont want to marry a virgin...neither a ho LOL
 jag216
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 249
Why a virgin?
Posted: 8/28/2008 10:20:11 AM
After reading so many posts, for or against virginity - well it seems that the point of sex has a lot to do with what a person's status is.

If it's for enjoyment and pleasure only - like watching boxing or playing tennis - then of course you have no reason to keep it. Losing your virginity is like scraping your knee.

If it's a core value - i.e. if allowing someone to shake the entire core of your physical person and make you black out and emotionally connect in ways that most people never will - i.e. if good sex changes the quality of who you are - well then it makes sense that most people will not treat it so flippantly.

Seems to me that if folks are not having their guts wrenched and sex is not a big deal to them, well then it makes sense that they need more of it (and from more people) to find any sort of satisfaction.

As a 34 year old, I can say that I didn't begin any sort of sexual exploits until I was 31 and I am ETERNALLY thankful for that for several reasons:

1) My intensity in my 20s was a switch, it is now a calibrated dial.
2) I didn't lose my wits at the sight of female genitalia.
3) I have enormous intuition and am far better at reading people now than I ever was in my 20s.
4) My o's are more refined and complex and I can spend a lot more time on them.

That being said, there are many firsts in the line of sexual experience and women have a much better sense of this than men do because of a general lack of education for men about their sexual drive and the physiological components that go into the process of arousal, etc.

Virgins being bad at sex? Hardly. I have met women with a lot of sexual experience who were so emotionally stonewalled you couldn't reach them enough to care. The most powerful thing a person can have in the bedroom in fantastic intuitive and communication skills. If you rely on the physical components to magically work together then you are playing craps. And you don't have to even remove clothes to know an intuitive person - however it does take one to know one. Intuitive people are very discreet, and discretion (like well played modesty) is sexy.

Of course what qualifies as virginity seems to change every year but... as someone who hasn't 'scored' in the traditional sense but has 'hooked-up' I have run into many problems, especially being the person who has a reputation for being confident yet responsible.

Women are often attracted to the confident side of me, but the responsible side can easily be a turn-off because either they are not looking for a responsible guy (because they are immature) or they have a past that they are not proud of (because they are not virgins).

If you have made a mistake, there are many others who have made the same mistake - relate to them, enjoy your time with them and marry them. Sex is just one area where mistakes can be made, and all of them are embarassing.

Don't make mistakes and then expect someone who has not made those kinds of mistakes to be able to either understand or accept you. They might, but they might not.

In the area of sexuality, for example, there are times when I have been interested in people until I find out who they have slept with. When I consider the types of people they have been I have to seriously ask myself how well I know this person, and in the end I often decide that I am no longer interested. But sometimes I admit that I am impressed with who they have loved in the past and how long it had been going on and I feel bad that it didn't work out for them. It actually makes me more courteous and dedicated because they followed a dream that only went so far - perhaps I fit into one that is better.

This is where virginity and loyalty DO become tied - not just in the ability to sustain a relationship, but the investment that a person puts into themselves and into their lives. Someone who dates a new person every 2-3 months is as reliable to me as a prospective employee who has a new job every 6 months - it is a sign of instability and that is never desirable to me.

So for me, virginity, intuition, communication, empathy, etc. all go hand in hand in determining how eligible a person is.

At the same time, if my partner doesn't offer her status, I will not offer mine - and I don't ask, but often women seem to sense that it might be important to me and tell me - it's the first real act of intimacy, really... providing that information opens the door to another aspect of who a person is before the clothes ever come off.
 RyRy863
Joined: 5/18/2008
Msg: 250
Why a virgin?
Posted: 9/20/2008 10:09:08 PM
Well I want to lose my virginity to a Virgin. Ive only kissed one girl but when that comes up in Relationships ive been in it tends to scare girls away.
 foxygirlboater25
Joined: 5/23/2006
Msg: 252
Why a virgin?
Posted: 9/26/2008 9:43:15 AM
I am a virgin and I really respect a guy the feels that way. I wish there more of you out there like that. It shows alot of respect and maturity. Thanks again!
Jenn
 parteovahere
Joined: 3/4/2007
Msg: 254
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History
Why a virgin?
Posted: 9/28/2008 10:13:39 AM
Well I think someone saying they want to marry a virgin probably means that are insecure and don't want to think about who you slept with in the past if involved in a marriage relationship. If the guy isnt insecure it wouldn't matter.

btw I was dating a girl who was a virgin for a minute and when I broke up with her. My guy friends were like. Oh you should have stayed with that. Prabably a lot of guys would like to bed virgin because they would think she would have to think they are good in bed. lol
 Matt_is_looking_for_love
Joined: 8/23/2008
Msg: 256
Why a virgin?
Posted: 9/28/2008 12:41:53 PM
Personally, I prefer someone that has had a couple of guys. Not a bunch, obviously. Under twenty-five, say. But at least enough to know what she wants. Keep looking for someone that will want you for you; forever not for a night.
 SirVyvor
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 259
Why a virgin?
Posted: 11/16/2008 7:28:42 AM
I've asked Myself that as well. . .Virgins are a pain in the ass. . .well.. .sometimes. . .as for experience, give Me a girl who knows her way around the block, but chooses to park in My spot every night. and that thing with chastity belts and cageing?. . .kinky!! I wanna party with you sometime. . .but one question?. . .Why impregnate them? most lifeforms on this planet EAT their young. . .having raised several little ingrate crumbsnatchers, I can only observe that this is deservedly so. . . .forn now, sit back, enjoy My golden years:
 ashley868
Joined: 1/15/2008
Msg: 260
Why a virgin?
Posted: 11/18/2008 1:58:13 AM
I'm starting to wonder if I should lie and tell people I know that I'm not a virgin. Most people don't believe that a twenty-two year old can be a virgin. They always say there is no such thing. People will look on me too for it. It's just kind of irritating.
 biker12
Joined: 2/23/2008
Msg: 261
Why a virgin?
Posted: 10/16/2009 1:14:17 PM
This is true you will never find the perfect person for you ..the one you are looking for no one is right for anyone like my friend said thats why people argue and get divorced. I all about looks my ex use to tell me before he died that if you never try then how would you know. I met him at a house party thought he was better looking than me and said to myself why is this guy talking to me. So we began to sit on the couch and he talked about how he was in the army and wanted to marry. He said I really have to tell you I may not be the most decent looking man on earth but I have to try to succeed. And these words stick with me til today. Plus he was not socialy retarted which was a plus.

So I agree with you many people think inside the box to MUCH!!
 littleaudrey
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 262
Why a virgin?
Posted: 10/16/2009 10:47:35 PM
Weird. In these modern times, it seems like most people think it's a little weird if you haven't had sex by the age of, say, 18.

No, honestly, over half of the people I knew in freshman year of college (not me) were virgins. That includes guys. We were 18.

By 21, it seemed that everyone had done it already. Or, in the case of a few guys, really wanted to do it but hadn't gotten the chance.

I'm a married 25 year old now. My husband and I have talked about this subject. I consider him a fairly typical guy in regards to what he likes/wants/will accept/desires/whatever in a woman. He has said that men fantasize about sleeping with virgins but few expect to marry them anymore, outside of religious communities. He said he expected that a woman my age would probably have slept with four or five guys before marrying.

In my post-college, married-mom twenties, I have met one virgin, a 27 year old girl who was waiting for marriage, a girlfriend of one of my husband's friends. They'd been dating for two and a half year. Nobody was saying, "That guy is so lucky that he's going to marry a virgin." Instead, people thought it was strange and weird. Another person I knew (actually, a couple) was so religious that they didn't even kiss until their wedding day. Some people thought that was sweet. I thought it was weird. But people think all different things.

In the old days, when people married in their late teens/early-twenties, it was reasonable to hope your wife would be a virgin (or at least only had sex with you before the wedding). Today, now that people are marrying later, it no longer seems so reasonable to expect a 32 year old new bride to be pure and chaste.
 Chitownguy40
Joined: 9/29/2009
Msg: 263
Why a virgin?
Posted: 10/16/2009 10:54:15 PM
I think very few men expect, or desire, to marry virgins anymore. Your case was unusual.
 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 265
Why a virgin?
Posted: 10/17/2009 12:24:57 AM
It's called the dreaded double standard. A man can whore around with as many women as he wants and he's a studmuffin. A woman has more than one guy in a lifetime, she's a zero.

Better watch this guy. I think that's why so many are preying on little girls.
 Arabianangel
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 266
Why a virgin?
Posted: 10/17/2009 12:38:41 AM
I've heard guys that have a small willy prefer a virgin...
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 267
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History
Why a virgin?
Posted: 10/17/2009 4:57:32 PM
there are men in the western world that still want to marry a virgin..... who knew, maybe they should join the taliban lol
 StevieCashmere
Joined: 4/22/2009
Msg: 268
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History
Why a virgin?
Posted: 10/18/2009 3:02:20 AM
Decades ago, this thread would be' Why have sx before marriage'!! ~ times change as they say
Let people be who they want to be so long as they don't impose on anyone else
~sc~
 vietkim
Joined: 5/24/2010
Msg: 269
Why a virgin?
Posted: 6/11/2010 6:34:50 PM
First, to the author, luckily you aren't with that guy anymore, for saying that to his fiancee is just wrong, I mean, its his ****ing fiancee he is saying that too.

Anyway, why would I want a virgin?
Well, I was raise up as a Catholic(And no, I wasn't brainwash, it just made more sense then those other religious who thinks, committing suicide for their...) , and so, I follow the Ten Commandment as my primary law. When I was about 17, I was so horny that I wanted to hook up with this older girl and later do her. I wanted to believe that the Ten commandment meant to say, if you are marry, you can only have sex with your spouses only. Then I look up the internet and this one article persuaded me, sex should be save for marriage. So I ended up not going to this party where this girl like me would go, I also heard she give good BJ. And so, that is why I choose to remain a virgin until I found a hot good looking virgin girl who has a lot of the quality I am looking for. I believe the past makes us who we are, life is all about decision. I have decided to go for a virgin with quality I look for because I believe, if were ever decided to get marry, it would last.

I heard people say those who goes for virgin are insecure, come on, you can't categorize all of us in that category, I though those who are insecure give up their virginity because they think sex is the only way the opposite sex would like them. I think those who wants virgin only is because of, hmmmm, being selfish? Since we waited out on sex, shouldn't our future wife have waited too? And if you guys disagree, then why the hell shouldn't we just go around having random sex with many hot girl. Before settling down when we get old enough where we can't attract many girl anymore? Huh?

And those who said virgin don't know what they are doing in bed and has no experience. Really? I thought it has to do with common sense. I have a lot of common sense, like the first time I drove a car, the lady teaching me though I already learn from someone else. Yea, common sense(Although I am still working on my stamina), I believe I know all the right spot to get a girl horny.

So to all you hot virgin girl out there, there is still hope, I am saving myself for you girls.
So can anyone tell me, how do I tell if a girl is a virgin and never had sexual intercourse or oral sex? Because I went for this girl who looks sweet and innocent, she was getting frustrated because I took a while to make a move, turns out, she has a child and so we are now just friend. And then, I went for a average looking girl, turns out, she likes to party, do drug, and get drunk all the time. And then I went for girl who goes to church, turn out, they are the one in the confession room asking forgiveness for being sex addict.

I still have a little hope because I heard there are good hot girls who model and doesn't have the time to date, I pray like every week hoping God would bring me one soon before I lose all my patient.

I know my comment sound immature, but please don't flame me.
 merelymortal
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 270
Why a virgin?
Posted: 6/11/2010 6:55:26 PM
The only men who should be looking for virgins are virgin men. Otherwise its just backward and chauvinistic to expect a virgin partner.

Its 2010, get with it people.
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 271
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History
Why a virgin?
Posted: 6/13/2010 11:03:34 AM
i dont believe that most men want to marry virgins
only a few cultures, not the western culture
western men,want good lovers, not easy girls, but women that love to have sex and are good at it
 4rumOnly
Joined: 5/27/2010
Msg: 273
Why a virgin?
Posted: 6/15/2010 12:00:47 PM

But a girl with experience is just as likely to be a bad lover as a good one...


I've slept with virgins and the opposite extreme...

On the whole, the virgins were willing to learn and had no bad habits to 'unlearn'. They weren't jaded by past experiences. They were willing to try anything, because they hadn't had a previous bad experience with a past lover. They didn't have a 'method' that worked for other guys that they would keep slipping back into... They didn't have 'issues' in the bedroom. They didn't have STD's.... They were fun, and it was all new to them.
On the other hand, I've had lovers who have had many previous lovers. I've had a couple breakdown and start crying because something I did or said, triggered a bad memory. A few who won't ever do "THAT" again because an ex lover had hurt her or forced her. One who insisted on getting undressed and having sex in the dark because her Ex lover said she was ugly naked. More than a few women who try to do things that simply don't do it for me.... "but I thought you'd like it...." ( her Ex did...).

One women who in the middle of sex, would start talking about what her Ex used to do with her sexually Even weirder, it was in a totally monotone dead voice.......(?!?!?!?!?!)

Now I've net a lot of really good lovers who have had many partners too... all of them were just about average as a lover.... nothing amazing....

The number of women who are "good at it"... very few and far between... It doesn't seem to make a difference if she's had a few or many lovers... it's either there or it's not... and I think it really depends a lot on the woman herself, and maybe the first lover or two she was with.... after that, it's a crapshoot....

Even the greatest lovers, were virgins once.... I think it has the most to do with her attitude from the beginning... and also not having that attitude, screwed up between when she lost her virginity and now...


Good points!



I think this idea of non-virgins = better in bed is really ridiculous & over-hyped.
In the end, its all about how much a person is willing to fine tune him or herself
to their partner's wants & needs. EVERYONE has different tastes so who is to say
what/who is better and what/who is not??
 ohio07
Joined: 12/27/2008
Msg: 274
Why a virgin?
Posted: 6/16/2010 7:08:16 PM
This reminds me of the Adam Carolla quote about the Muslim terrorist awaiting 1,000 virgins in heaven: "Trust me, three virgins into it... your looking for a "pro"!
 TheReason_
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 275
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History
Why a virgin?
Posted: 6/17/2010 11:24:16 AM
If someone is a virgin at 40, they probably have more issues than I'd ever want to deal with.

Being a virgin is irrelevant to me. Sounds like he was way too insecure.
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 276
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History
Why a virgin?
Posted: 6/20/2010 2:55:46 AM
somebody said you dont want a slut to be the mother of your children, i hate the double standard,if a woman has a high sex drive its just that,,,, a high sex drive
had a couple of virgins, when i was a young kid, they where very bad experiences, the did not know what to do, i want as much experience as i can get
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 277
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History
Why a virgin?
Posted: 6/20/2010 7:06:47 AM
i was a kid too and did not know much more then they did
now that i am 38, i want a woman that is a great lover, has had many men, is imaginative and creative in the sack,i find the more men a woman had the more open and wonderful she is, and is willing and able to please ,not just take pleasure
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