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 Kiss_My_Karma~
Joined: 7/4/2005
Msg: 14
Things I have learned Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
These betrayals of what we perceived happen in real life too, it just seems more of a big deal on here because our perceptions are more our own, as we don't have the face-to-face. Some want to move faster than others in real life too. Some people turn out not to be what they portrayed in real life too. I have said it before, and I'll say it again, it's all a crapshoot.
 vivienne3
Joined: 4/25/2005
Msg: 25
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Things I have learned
Posted: 4/3/2006 8:43:36 PM

I find the main problem with online dating is that people tend to idealize the other person and fill in the blanks with what they want to be true. It's a dangerous thing.


Truer words were never spoken.
 NSpectr3
Joined: 6/11/2005
Msg: 27
Things I have learned
Posted: 4/5/2006 6:09:59 AM
At the risk of self-repetition, this kind of site is not a vending machine. Social satisfaction is never instant. The barrier to entry is lowered, namely the ability to find prospects more easily, but everything that follows is the same thorny process of curiosity and forming bonds.

Extra applause for this statement:
} What people say on their profile doesn't actually mean what they want.

Indeed, the candy wrapper does not always reflect the contents. Profiles may be built to deceive, or unwittingly self-deceive where self-awareness is low. Most sites, particularly paid services, do little to encourage the examination of self that would drive success, and therefore a loss of repeat business.

I'm less sure that our agendas should be as well defined. We arrive with one goal, but may find other appealing goals depending on who responds and what they bring. Probably the fair thing is to simply cast for "short term". That is reasonably the best we can get on average through an online social network. Long term friends and lovers are for the future to decide, and probably an unfair demand to make of a few virtual contacts.

If we want less grief and more positive social contact via this pond, it's up to the individual to make faithful representations and to see it as part of a journey, not a destination.
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