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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > why do many women expect men to make the first move?      Home login  
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 Capt Joe
Joined: 3/11/2006
Msg: 76
why do many women expect men to make the first move?Page 4 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
Gina: Sometimes men dont make the first move out of respect. I know myself, if I see long term possibilites there, I'll go very slow and deliberate. Torrid affairs start out and end up as just that and that alone. Seldom do they last long. If I were you, I'd dump this dude for someone who wants to know YOU as a woman not just a sex object. If he cares for the woman in you...the sex will be there too. Nothing better than great sex with the woman you REALLY care about. It's all about that "I've just been *DONE GOOD*" gleam in your eye when its with someone you love.

Joe
 jackiec
Joined: 2/9/2006
Msg: 77
why do many women expect men to make the first move?
Posted: 3/11/2006 12:34:50 PM
I can only speak for myself. I am not the type of person to call a guy unless he has requested that I do so. The reason for this is that I don't want to bother him and make him think I am chasing him. I am not intending to play a game at all. There are times when I would love to call a guy, but don't for the simple fact that I feel that is a too bit forward.
 letsenjoylife
Joined: 7/28/2005
Msg: 78
why do many women expect men to make the first move?
Posted: 3/11/2006 3:03:55 PM
Dating and society has changed so much i can't figure it anymore. I think it is important that a guy shows interest and tell a woman that he is dating his intentions. Then let her decide when the time is right.
 thegreatrockyhill
Joined: 12/26/2005
Msg: 79
why do many women expect men to make the first move?
Posted: 3/11/2006 3:09:25 PM
If a woman makes the first move the guy won't appreciate her. Also, if she makes the first move the guy will think she is easy.


Wrong and wrong. It's 2006 already!

I think some women like having the "power". That's why they don't make the first move.
 baseball467
Joined: 5/27/2005
Msg: 80
why do many women expect men to make the first move?
Posted: 3/11/2006 3:34:01 PM
travisty...very good point
 LadySunDevil
Joined: 10/1/2005
Msg: 81
why do many women expect men to make the first move?
Posted: 3/11/2006 5:18:23 PM
Rufus_Stone wrote:
I actually think that women nearly always make the first move, but it is so subtle, you blink and the moment is gone. Its an eye thing, like subliminal messaging, a split second of contact.

I think Rufus might be a GENIUS!

And like many of the other ladies who posted I am old fashioned and it goes against my nature or upbringing...whatever!...but when I have gotten the courage to e-mail a guy.....especially on POF....it's not gone well. I guess I am much more open minded about men I find attractive then the men I contact....or maybe I am really unattractive and that message has not made it to my brain LOL Bottom line: Men are hunters.....let them HUNT!.......it's one of the sexiest things a man can do!
 Tomfl51
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 82
why do many women expect men to make the first move?
Posted: 3/11/2006 6:11:59 PM
And that's a good reason why I don't ask guys out. Not all, but many take it the wrong way. Nope, I'll stick to what's comfortable for me....being asked out. If guys are getting rejected a lot, maybe it's because they aren't watching for the ok signs to approach.

Some tips....
quickly turns her head when you catch her looking (a bit shy ? doesn't want to get caught)
Smiling at you alot.
Looking at you alot.
Flirting with you.
Touching you alot.
Inviting you along.
Maintains eye contact. (outgoing ? or interested)
She mimics your body movements.
Laughs at your corny jokes.
Pays attention to what you have to say. (Interested ? or good communicator)

These are just a few of the clues....the more signs you have, the better your chances.
And if you get quite a number of these signs and you don't ask her out...well, you just never know what you might be missing.


Maybe you should follow your own tips sweetie when a guy does this. The more signs you have, the better YOUR chances.

Gimme a break...........you want equality except for this and paying your way on a first date. You can't just pick and choose your 'equality"
 nasajack2003
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 83
why do many women expect men to make the first move?
Posted: 3/12/2006 11:19:46 AM
The first move should always be done by Atlas Van Lines or Beken's Moving and Storage.
 Capt Joe
Joined: 3/11/2006
Msg: 84
why do many women expect men to make the first move?
Posted: 3/14/2006 6:15:52 AM
Some women prefer "Two men and a van" LOL
 Capt Joe
Joined: 3/11/2006
Msg: 85
why do many women expect men to make the first move?
Posted: 3/14/2006 6:36:17 AM
EASY ?? Whats wrong with EASY, at this stage in life? LOL I'm mature enough to be able to handle "EASY". I know .. I know...you wont make love on first date but second or third date changes all that? RIGHT ? DOH The unwritten rule of first date.
I don't judge people. I don't think many men do anymore in that regard. And if they do...do you really want to be around them for a second date anyway ? As a man, I appriciate most women...no matter when intimacy takes place if even at all.
I've actually had a woman ask me, in friendship, what date should she take her new man to bed? My reply: "When its the natural thing to do". Its not a matter of when...but of the quality of WHO. If it's there and it's the Natural thing to do at the moment...GO FOR IT if thats what you both want. Who cares what date # it is, or who makes the first move? This is 2006 not 1960.
It brings me to what could possibly be a new topic: When do people feel it's the right time for intimacy to be shared?
 kinkystud
Joined: 2/21/2006
Msg: 86
why do many women expect men to make the first move?
Posted: 3/14/2006 6:37:41 AM
cybury


that eliminates about 80 % of the women on this site.

 wespauley
Joined: 12/18/2005
Msg: 87
why do many women expect men to make the first move?
Posted: 3/14/2006 7:42:18 AM
Why indeed? I have been shot down in flames so many times that I need an asbestos suit, so I am not inclined to ask women out on dates anymore. What is so difficult about answering the question "Would you like to get together and have a cookout/whatever this weekend"? A simple "yes" or "no' without an explanation works just fine for me. Please don't try to spare my feelings, either. I have been dealing with rejection since I was 13 years old, and my hide is tough as hell and coated with teflon. Bad feelings will slide right off of me. Any damage is already done and irreversible, so don't tell me yes meaning no, and go home and take your phone off the hook. Don't say I'd like to then add a "but" in there. That is just another way of saying no, or perhaps if you beg me, I'll consider it. Ain't going to happen. Come to the damn cookout or don't. I could care less. I will be happy to entertain you if you do and not very disappointed if you don't. I take life as it comes. As for all you ladies who say I would never ask a guy out, I'm too old fashioned/wasn't brought up that way or whatever other excuse you have, you sound like you're saying "I'm a princess, I'm too good to ask a guy out" and even though I doubt that's true, if I think it, other guys will too. Here is one thing to think about: So you ask a guy out once and got shot down. Big f**ing deal. That's a reason never to do it again? It is the 21rst century. If you don't make a move, some more aggressive girl who isn't as pretty or as nice as you will most likely end up with your Mr. Wonderful. And subtle doesn't work with some of us. Ever heard the saying "As subtle as a lead pipe upside the head"? I'm afraid it will take a lot more than a little subtle flirting for me to figure out a woman is interested in me.
 backgammonnn123
Joined: 1/12/2006
Msg: 88
why do many women expect men to make the first move?
Posted: 3/14/2006 10:34:45 AM
Sorry lady peach but in this day and age that analogy doesnt work anymore, In this day and age any moron can learn to say exactly what a girl wants to hear, but i know for a fact most of these women years later regret falling for the type of guy you mention in your post. While i feel sorry for them i also fault them for not being individualistic enough to go beyond these idiotic theories about men and women that society places on us. A good guy isnt going to just come up and start talking to a girl he barely knows without any signal because a good guy doesnt go around talking to every girl that strikes his fancy, Plus we are in the year 2006 where women are saying " we want our freedom" , well part of that freedom includes being rejected just like us men have had done to u. You cant have ur cake and eat it to
 backgammonnn123
Joined: 1/12/2006
Msg: 89
why do many women expect men to make the first move?
Posted: 3/14/2006 10:36:05 AM
Rufus im sorry but no human being on earth can tell what another person is thinking by a split second subliminal move. I mean she could be thinking about that apple pie she had yesterday or that incredible steak i cooked for her at my restaurant lol
 backgammonnn123
Joined: 1/12/2006
Msg: 90
why do many women expect men to make the first move?
Posted: 3/14/2006 10:41:19 AM
WES, i was at a nightclub about 11 years ago( dont go anymore ever) and i saw this one gal over there. She would come every week and sit with her friend. She was the hottest thing in that club but she had this incredible hatred of men because i heard that she caught her fiance in bed with another woman while she was pregnant. Anyways everyweek she was there i used to see tons of guys ask her to dance and she would always shoot them down.
One day one guy asked her to dance and she said yes. Needless to say his friends were in disbelief lol. So they were dancing and and he was doing some 360 degree spin move . Well by the time he turned back around she had left him looooooooooooooooool. the moral of that story is no matter how much we think we have been rejected there is always someone that got shot down even worse lol
 wespauley
Joined: 12/18/2005
Msg: 91
why do many women expect men to make the first move?
Posted: 3/14/2006 11:11:50 AM
Funny stuff backgammonnn. I'm not really complaining. The reason I have been shot down so often is because I used to ask out a lot of girls. My success rate was far better than 99% of the guys I used to hang with, even as bad as I think it was. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
 marita_b
Joined: 6/15/2005
Msg: 92
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History
why do many women expect men to make the first move?
Posted: 3/14/2006 11:29:27 AM
why do many women expect men to make the first move?
-----------------------------------------------------------

decades of conditioning for some of us,...
 wiserd
Joined: 5/11/2004
Msg: 93
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History
why do many women expect men to make the first move?
Posted: 3/14/2006 11:47:02 AM

Probably because women like ME who will walk up to a guy and tell him just what it is she wants from him usually end up alone


A guy who did the same thing would end up alone. It takes a little more grace than that, unfortunately, because people are timid, messed up animals.

I have very specific likes so I'm not cruising the bars or sleeping with anyone just for the sex. But the thing is (and it took me a while to figure this out) dating is like playing the lottery. You're not going to hit it off with everyone you go out with. That doesn't mean things aren't working. Starting things off isn't easy. And there are girls who 'make the first move.' But often they're slick enough that the guy doesn't notice.

Why do girls sit back and wait for guys to make the first move rather than risking rejection? Simple. Because they can.
 backgammonnn123
Joined: 1/12/2006
Msg: 94
why do many women expect men to make the first move?
Posted: 3/15/2006 2:09:07 AM
Wes good man, Good to see ur batting average is higher than the norm. Im looking for a virgin female, can u imagine how tough that is lol. I think ill have better chances finding an ocean in the desert then that
 backgammonnn123
Joined: 1/12/2006
Msg: 95
why do many women expect men to make the first move?
Posted: 3/15/2006 2:11:15 AM
Wiserd sorry man but most of those women end up getting divorces wishing they had tried to meet that nice guy halfway. Ive heard it so many times from my female friends. this is why i hate using lines and hate hearing em from women
 missy_pq
Joined: 3/21/2005
Msg: 96
why do many women expect men to make the first move?
Posted: 3/15/2006 7:31:41 AM
I think it's because men (and sometimes women, too, I'm sure) can be so insensitive about the way they reject an advance. Women are not usually as thick skinned as men, and I think sometimes the men forget this or just don't care if they hurt a woman's feelings. I am NOT saying all men are like this, but we have no way of knowing who is and who isn't, so we just don't approach you. Anyway, that's my point of view.
 nasajack2003
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 97
why do many women expect men to make the first move?
Posted: 3/16/2006 6:32:11 AM
Just from personal experiences this is my take on it. And in no way does it reflect on the gal or guy negatively. Its an observation through time.

If you are in your 20's, pretty much the rejection boogy man hasen't quite visited you enough to result in too much mental damage being done...although the 'training' has begun. And this goes for both sexes. Its not a pleasant feeling for either. But it does seem that the 20 something still has enough gumption to keep on trying.

Being a double edged sword, guys are conditioned not to ask for dates having been reinforced and 'conditioned' with a barrage of rejection from a very early age. Our first taste of it began at that junior high dance or maybe even earlier. The other edge of the sword has the gal being taught from a very early age that its the guy that does the pursuing and is expected to 'wait'. So, it becomes a Mexican standoff. Whether its 1956 or 2006, I feel it plays no bearing on the conditions that still remain with us to this day, no matter the year or decade.

When a high percentage of us guys, to include me, now having reached our late 40's to early 50's, and having experienced rejection to the ' x to the 10th power approaching infinity', it tends to leave us pretty heavily 'scarred' mentally when it comes to asking for a date.

As for myself, having experienced 4 decades of this 'dating dance', I quit asking eons ago. I'll take my chances on that 'accidental', or 'when you least expect it' approach where there is no asking, but a visual and mental affirmation that an attraction just happened, i.e., bumping into one another on the street or running into the grocery cart...then maybe both of you, at the same time, stumble for the right words, and agree to a coffee, mutually, at that very same moment.
 marita_b
Joined: 6/15/2005
Msg: 98
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History
why do many women expect men to make the first move?
Posted: 3/20/2006 1:30:39 AM
many of us couldn't meet you half way,...even if we wanted to,...

since so many of you are clear on the other side of another country,....aw shucks,....
 matt9629
Joined: 10/23/2009
Msg: 99
why do many women expect men to make the first move?
Posted: 12/6/2009 3:01:34 PM
Actually I almost always make the first move. I walk right up to a woman, wherever it is, and say something in English. If she responds favorably by saying something back, I'll go ahead with a slightly bolder move and ask her to marry me. If she doesn't say "Yes" immediately I move on.

But so far the results haven't been stellar, and I've had 148,729 "No" responses in a row. What could possibly be so wrong?? Do ALL women just HATE and DESPISE ANY guy who makes the first move?? Come ON, ladies, give us a chance, already!!

If you don't watch out, I'll start another thread about "How WRONG it is that nice guys ALWAYS get stabbed in the eye with a pencil"! ...well, maybe not ALWAYS .... occasionally it might be with a 16 penny galvanized nail...

 ToughLuv1984
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 100
why do many women expect men to make the first move?
Posted: 12/6/2009 4:12:59 PM
I'm sorry you don't inspire women throwing themselves at you.

The world is a shitty place full of double standards.

I don't have much sympathy for dudes b/c they don't have to put up with the sheer amount of B.S. women do on the daily.

You just have *this one thing to do* so just stop complaining about it for Pete's sake.
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