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 colormehappygirl
Joined: 1/8/2006
Msg: 27
why do many women expect men to make the first move?Page 9 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
"I enjoy being pursued, makes me feel special, knowing the guy thought enough of me to make a little extra effort to be with me."

AMEN to that! Glad to know I'm not the only one who likes to be pursued. You know what? If there's chemistry there, believe me... that is going to really go a long way :)
 :
Joined: 4/15/2005
Msg: 28
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why do many women expect men to make the first move?
Posted: 1/9/2006 4:11:18 AM
for the same reason my dog licks my ear and people post redundant threads...
because they can, and because they are lazy...

actualy i don't have a dog, seriously though, if I could get girls to approach me all night long and buy me drinks, I wouldn't want to change a thing.

I mean, liberate all that other unfairness in the name of Femanism, but leave the free drinks please.

It is harder for girls though, for example

a girl says to me
" i think your sexy, wanna have sex"

"if i say, yes" then good

but if

"I say no, i am looking for something more then sex"

Then suddenly it looks like that was all she was asking for, if this were a guy, people would say, well oh, yea, that's cause guys are pigs, that's fine, but if a girl does it, not so easy to shrug off, right?
 will_nevergiveup
Joined: 1/10/2006
Msg: 31
why do many women expect men to make the first move?
Posted: 1/10/2006 4:04:48 PM
I would never think of making the first move. It's a mans' place to be the pursuer. If you want a woman to make the first move, then you'll probably get alot of other typically male traits from her as well. Are you willing to take that risk?
 Now or Never
Joined: 12/18/2005
Msg: 34
why do many women expect men to make the first move?
Posted: 1/12/2006 6:02:49 PM
Because it gives them all the power...and a free ride... a co$t free ride. Men are supposed to be able to handle rejection 99 times out of a 100 and women are cut to the bone the first time it happens. As Sean Connery said, "A gentlman never says no to a lady." So the popular women giggle in your face and the not-so-popular ones sit at home alone. As do so many men. Why would a man say no to a request for a date, because he will invariably end up paying for it. Women seem to think that offering to go "Dutch" is somesort of huge concession. You ask someone out, you pick up the tab, totally and joyfully. A lot has been said about "signs and signals" here. Yes, send a signal. A sign that you want to be with him and enjoy his company. Pay for something; a coffee, a meal, a cab ride or a round of drinks.

Thought we had this debate 35 years ago?
 dceeeee
Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 38
why do many women expect men to make the first move?
Posted: 1/14/2006 3:50:36 PM
Okay, good thread...and some good answers, too, and I think a lot depends on the generation the woman is in, as seen by most of the answers. I was raised 'old school' also, where a woman didn't pursue a man, lest she be considered to be loose. However, I do realize that times have changed...although at my age, you can't always be sure that the guy isn't still in that mode. Another problem, as it pertains to people my age, is that unless he specifies an age, so many of them are looking for the 'youngsters'...Heck, I read a profile the other day, where the guy was 70 yrs old, and was looking for a woman between 20 and 50....WTF? I'm too old for a 70 yr old? Sure glad HE expressed his preferences!!! This on line dating sure makes it easier for the woman to make the first move, though. For the record, I contacted a couple of men when I first started this dating thing and thought I would be at my destination within a few months, (and got positive responses, too), but now that my move is taking so long, it just doesn't seem fair. So, for now, a man has to do the first move, if he thinks it's worth emailing for awhile till the move happens, not knowing when it will be).

To Latintango, you said....

It's very simple why...
A double standard....
For all the strides women have taken through the "women liberation" movement, they still want the man to open doors, pull chairs etc etc...

Comming from a place where women used to stay home and raise the family and man went to work, I've seen the transformation first hand...

And I do believe that, without ever admitting this openly, a large number of females regret how far equality has taken them...for what they lost...


....but not all of us women were for the 'Women's Lib' movement in the first place...it was thrust upon us and we had no choice but to 'go with the flow', so we had to make the most of it...so, sure, some of us regret that a few made it bad for the rest of us. I was perfectly content with the way things were...but now, I've adjusted to the changes, and not all were bad. So that's why in my profile, it says, "I believe in equality (to a point)...."
 oneafternoon
Joined: 3/15/2005
Msg: 42
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why do many women expect men to make the first move?
Posted: 1/15/2006 5:39:59 PM
I've been told never too make the move!
 will_nevergiveup
Joined: 1/10/2006
Msg: 43
why do many women expect men to make the first move?
Posted: 1/15/2006 6:03:48 PM
I really feel for you fellas. Some of us gals are old fashioned. Some are womens libbers. You don't know whether to open the door and go through first or hold it for her. Either way, you have a 50/50 chance of getting your azz bit. And that's AFTER you've secured the date! Oh my! I'm sure glad I'm not a fella. You guys really have it hard.
 baseball467
Joined: 5/27/2005
Msg: 80
why do many women expect men to make the first move?
Posted: 3/11/2006 3:34:01 PM
travisty...very good point
 Tomfl51
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 82
why do many women expect men to make the first move?
Posted: 3/11/2006 6:11:59 PM
And that's a good reason why I don't ask guys out. Not all, but many take it the wrong way. Nope, I'll stick to what's comfortable for me....being asked out. If guys are getting rejected a lot, maybe it's because they aren't watching for the ok signs to approach.

Some tips....
quickly turns her head when you catch her looking (a bit shy ? doesn't want to get caught)
Smiling at you alot.
Looking at you alot.
Flirting with you.
Touching you alot.
Inviting you along.
Maintains eye contact. (outgoing ? or interested)
She mimics your body movements.
Laughs at your corny jokes.
Pays attention to what you have to say. (Interested ? or good communicator)

These are just a few of the clues....the more signs you have, the better your chances.
And if you get quite a number of these signs and you don't ask her out...well, you just never know what you might be missing.


Maybe you should follow your own tips sweetie when a guy does this. The more signs you have, the better YOUR chances.

Gimme a break...........you want equality except for this and paying your way on a first date. You can't just pick and choose your 'equality"
 marita_b
Joined: 6/15/2005
Msg: 92
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why do many women expect men to make the first move?
Posted: 3/14/2006 11:29:27 AM
why do many women expect men to make the first move?
-----------------------------------------------------------

decades of conditioning for some of us,...
 wiserd
Joined: 5/11/2004
Msg: 93
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why do many women expect men to make the first move?
Posted: 3/14/2006 11:47:02 AM

Probably because women like ME who will walk up to a guy and tell him just what it is she wants from him usually end up alone


A guy who did the same thing would end up alone. It takes a little more grace than that, unfortunately, because people are timid, messed up animals.

I have very specific likes so I'm not cruising the bars or sleeping with anyone just for the sex. But the thing is (and it took me a while to figure this out) dating is like playing the lottery. You're not going to hit it off with everyone you go out with. That doesn't mean things aren't working. Starting things off isn't easy. And there are girls who 'make the first move.' But often they're slick enough that the guy doesn't notice.

Why do girls sit back and wait for guys to make the first move rather than risking rejection? Simple. Because they can.
 marita_b
Joined: 6/15/2005
Msg: 98
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why do many women expect men to make the first move?
Posted: 3/20/2006 1:30:39 AM
many of us couldn't meet you half way,...even if we wanted to,...

since so many of you are clear on the other side of another country,....aw shucks,....
 matt9629
Joined: 10/23/2009
Msg: 99
why do many women expect men to make the first move?
Posted: 12/6/2009 3:01:34 PM
Actually I almost always make the first move. I walk right up to a woman, wherever it is, and say something in English. If she responds favorably by saying something back, I'll go ahead with a slightly bolder move and ask her to marry me. If she doesn't say "Yes" immediately I move on.

But so far the results haven't been stellar, and I've had 148,729 "No" responses in a row. What could possibly be so wrong?? Do ALL women just HATE and DESPISE ANY guy who makes the first move?? Come ON, ladies, give us a chance, already!!

If you don't watch out, I'll start another thread about "How WRONG it is that nice guys ALWAYS get stabbed in the eye with a pencil"! ...well, maybe not ALWAYS .... occasionally it might be with a 16 penny galvanized nail...

 fetish4u
Joined: 4/18/2007
Msg: 109
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History
why do many women expect men to make the first move?
Posted: 12/9/2009 2:15:53 PM
My last 2 relationships were with woman that asked me out.I don't see nothing wrong with it.I liked it because I knew they were interested.I didn't ask a lot of women out in the past because I think they may seen me as only a friend and I feel if I asked them out I might lose the friendship.None of that matters anymore because I'm not looking these days.
 Strings6
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 112
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History
why do many women expect men to make the first move?
Posted: 12/10/2009 2:56:01 PM
Making the first move is risky and takes work so women are glad to leave that part of the traditional male/female relationship alone...everything else of course is subject to all contemporary norms,standards and interpretations.
 Kohavah
Joined: 11/4/2009
Msg: 114
why do many women expect men to make the first move?
Posted: 12/12/2009 6:04:10 AM
I say beauty before brains. Therefore, I allow the beautiful man to make the first move. It is simple coustesy and respect on behalf of brains to allow beauty first. Now if I am the beauty, and he is the brains, then of course I reverse this decision. Then of course there is the proverbial stand off. Two individuals who are equal in beauty and brains. That is when someone must say a special prayer and summon up a transcendental God, to make the decison of who makes the first move. This is all part of the various mating rituals within this atmosphere. They are all quite entertaining, to say the least.

Kohavah
 Mr.Versatility
Joined: 11/12/2009
Msg: 115
why do many women expect men to make the first move?
Posted: 12/12/2009 6:11:11 AM
insecurity is your answer.......
If a woman is confident in herself and seeks something she likes she will be more likely to try and get what she wants.. its pretty simple not alot of woman are all that confident
 Man_of_steele
Joined: 12/6/2009
Msg: 120
why do many women expect men to make the first move?
Posted: 12/13/2009 12:19:13 AM
Why do many women expect men to make the first move?

It's very, very simple: Laziness.

/thread
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