Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 namrael
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 427
Is being woke up with sexual favors rape or not?Page 19 of 20    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)
You think this is the only post that makes sense? Jesus...wtf ever happened to only sleeping next to a person you know you would be comfortable with waking you up to sexual favors. Seems like you should put this type of thought into a sexual relationship before someone ever has the chance...I don't know, maybe that's a crazy thought. I could see you waking up and finding it irksome and breaking up with someone over it...but to use the word rape...control who you let under the sheets in the first place.


Yes, though being in a relationship with someone doesn't mean that you wouldn't feel violated by the very act of being woken up to sex you hadn't consented to. Nonconsensual sex is rape, period.


Agreed. I just hate hearing such a word used in such way. I have awakened womenlike this before and in my experience I would be very offended if a woman used that word against me in that situation. I just feel like you should trust someone's intent before you put them in a position to make a decision like that.


A smart friend once told me that he's learned never to question people's intention; that is, it doesn't matter so much what the intent was--if it's hurting you, it's hurting you, and you need to react accordingly. If someone woke me up with sex and that made me feel unsafe and distrustful of them, then I'd have to deal with that regardless of how they meant it. That's not to say that intent doesn't matter, just that it doesn't necessarily change how someone reacts to the situation.


If i am kissing your neck and telling you how beautiful you are when you are just waking up...well if you don't like it just say, "inappropriate," and smack me with a newspaper...don't file charges.


There's also a world of difference between being woken up to someone kissing you, and waking up to someone *already engaging in some form of sex with you*, to which you haven't been given the option of consenting due to unconsciousness. Again, I have no issue with this if people have given prior consent; but sex without consent is sex without consent, and that's not okay.
 mattw357
Joined: 8/17/2007
Msg: 428
Is being woke up with sexual favors rape or not?
Posted: 12/13/2008 6:41:39 AM
namreal:

Again, I have no issue with this if people have given prior consent; but sex without consent is sex without consent, and that's not okay.


Wow...that's hot.... So, do I have to sign, initial, and date each page of the "Intention to Possibly Engage In Surprise Sexual Activity Based on Prior Consent without Implying Continuation Upon Awakening Clause"?

I guess I think there is a world of difference between what the post is about- a boyfriend/girlfriend thinking it might be a nice surprise, and a guy in a ski mask holding a knife to your throat or a frat boy getting you black out drunk.
 namrael
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 429
Is being woke up with sexual favors rape or not?
Posted: 12/13/2008 8:52:15 AM

I guess I think there is a world of difference between what the post is about- a boyfriend/girlfriend thinking it might be a nice surprise, and a guy in a ski mask holding a knife to your throat or a frat boy getting you black out drunk.


My point is, it's not consensual unless and until there has been consent. "Hey, would you be okay with me waking you up with sex/oral sex/whatever sometime?" "Yeah, that could be hot."--That's consent. If you've had that conversation with a GF/BF, then you're good to go; you've already obtained consent.

It's worth noting that the vast majority of rapes occur between people who know each other. You are VASTLY more likely to be raped by an acquaintance or a date than you are by some guy in a ski mask holding a knife to your throat. There are stranger rapes, but they're in the minority, and their existence doesn't make acquaintance rape any less traumatic for the victim.
 spkit
Joined: 11/11/2008
Msg: 430
Is being woke up with sexual favors rape or not?
Posted: 12/13/2008 1:40:25 PM
I'd love to be woke up that way. Of course, I would actually have to have a few minutes to wake up for the fun.

I used to wake up my ex by going down in the sheets and starting the bj and he loved it. Not to mention the stroking as another form of waking up. It's not something that happened often because I would not wake up that way very often, but it sure was fun.
 SmellOfPoop
Joined: 6/8/2007
Msg: 431
Is being woke up with sexual favors rape or not?
Posted: 12/13/2008 1:42:11 PM
I'm not reading any of the posts because it's quite simple. If someone — your partner — wakes you with sexual favors and you complain, you're just a moron. END OF STORY.
 skillful means
Joined: 10/12/2008
Msg: 432
Is being woke up with sexual favors rape or not?
Posted: 12/13/2008 2:20:06 PM
"a 6 year marriage" Your pal was a nuter lookin' for an out .
 Mafiachixrule
Joined: 5/4/2007
Msg: 433
Is being woke up with sexual favors rape or not?
Posted: 12/13/2008 2:30:52 PM
I'm not going read all this drivel. Who complains to waking up to sexual favors? Does this exist? I'm speechless here, folks. Sex without constent is rape. Plain and simple. Know each others boundaries and communicate. This thread is so ridiculously stupid.
 IslandMel
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 434
Is being woke up with sexual favors rape or not?
Posted: 12/13/2008 4:25:28 PM
I think its HOT, I think its Sexy , I think its mind blowing!!!!!! Half asleep half awake and being touched and licked all over, thats what I call BREAKFAST IN BED!
 CowboyEnuff
Joined: 2/14/2008
Msg: 435
Is being woke up with sexual favors rape or not?
Posted: 12/14/2008 4:38:04 PM
YOU GO Islandmel!!! And all the others that think it is a good thing. Especially if it is with the person you went to bed with to begin with.

I think to many are hung up on the negative aspect of what has been asked. And that may be due to previous negative experiences that they have had. HAVEN't WE ALL at some time or another. But fact is fact that it is rare ladies to have a woman wake a man up to her sexual desires. Hence why so many of us have agreed it is HOT and SEXY!

"CowboyEnuff"
 let5gocrazy
Joined: 9/25/2009
Msg: 437
Is being woke up with sexual favors rape or not?
Posted: 11/15/2009 5:17:21 PM
Being matched sexually sure is important to avoid rape charges. I would think though that after a few years together you would figure out if you both enjoy this sort of thing or not. No doubt there are a few tight ass pple out there that would object but I would think most would rather enjoy it, After all its not like its a stranger doing it to you.
 thumperitis
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 438
Is being woke up with sexual favors rape or not?
Posted: 11/15/2009 9:44:39 PM
I thought the woman who refuses to let her husband masterbate was psycho!!!! It is fun to be woken up by a partner performing some type of foreplay or to have sex...hot actually. How the heck can it be considered rape?

My opinion is anyone who thinks it is considered rape has issues and needs to see a psychiatrist or a sex therapist or both!!!
 aSydneyMale
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 439
Is being woke up with sexual favors rape or not?
Posted: 11/15/2009 9:53:13 PM
I've woken women up with my tongue numerous times, but only after it's been discussed beforehand, and it's always been warmly received.

However, I would never presume to attempt intercourse with any woman, relationship or not, unless I am positive I have consent, by this I mean she initiates it, tells me she wants to or says YES when I suggest it. This is one thing, at least as far as I'm concerned, where there is no room for ambiguity.
 thumperitis
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 440
Is being woke up with sexual favors rape or not?
Posted: 11/15/2009 10:00:54 PM
The issue here is that, if you wake up and your lover is *already having sex with you*, (LOVER....LOVER...YOU SAID LOVER....THEN IT SHOULD ALREADY BE KNOWN THAT SOMETHING LIKE THAT IS OKAY OR NOT) Seriously.... How deep do these people sleep...I mean really...Just a touch starts to awaken most of us....I'm fully awake by the time he could even get his sword in my sheath!!!!! I could have said no at least a half a dozen times but why the hell would I want to say no????


You think this is the only post that makes sense? Jesus...wtf ever happened to only sleeping next to a person you know you would be comfortable with waking you up to sexual favors. Seems like you should put this type of thought into a sexual relationship before someone ever has the chance...I don't know, maybe that's a crazy thought. I could see you waking up and finding it irksome and breaking up with someone over it...but to use the word rape...control who you let under the sheets in the first place.

mattw357 I AGREE WITH YOU....
 spicynicegirl
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 442
Is being woke up with sexual favors rape or not?
Posted: 11/16/2009 12:26:25 AM
The only way I would consider this possibly "rape" would be if I woke up to find the guy riding me without my knowledge............but then I'd have to be in a coma surely.............or attempting to put his doodle in without permission.

Otherwise bring it on.................the rest is good fun.
 3Therm0pylae0
Joined: 5/11/2009
Msg: 443
Is being woke up with sexual favors rape or not?
Posted: 11/16/2009 12:58:47 AM
NOT RAPE. Your friend was looney.
 kjacks31
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 444
Is being woke up with sexual favors rape or not?
Posted: 11/16/2009 8:03:57 PM

Is being woke up with sexual favors rape or not?

Third post today I'm saying this. Communication, trust and a decent sex life. You need all three, in this order.

If you communicate to each other whether being woken up in such a way is desired or not and you trust each other enough to know that if it happens it will be with your SO (not their buddy) then you're set. If the recipient says no to early morning sex and the giver still keeps doing it then yes, that is rape. Rape (as I understand it) is sex when a person objects or is unable to approve (unconscious, extremely drunk/drugged, bad emotional situation, etc).

I really wonder how these things escalate to such a point it ends up in divorce. Is communication really that difficult?
 exmontrealer780
Joined: 11/11/2009
Msg: 445
Is being woke up with sexual favors rape or not?
Posted: 11/16/2009 10:05:13 PM
http://ww1.cpa-apc.org:8080/Publications/Archives/CJP/2003/june/shapiro.asp
 Ependa
Joined: 7/16/2009
Msg: 446
Is being woke up with sexual favors rape or not?
Posted: 11/16/2009 10:28:29 PM
Never even occurred to me to see it that way and I quite it enjoy from both sides of the coin...I supposed it could be spun that way if that's what you're into ;-)
 bruto
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 448
Is being woke up with sexual favors rape or not?
Posted: 11/17/2009 2:10:35 PM
In this day and age, women are so up tight. they think it's rape if you look at them the wrong way. if you are with a girl like that, get rid of her, she's just a waste of space on the earth.
Personally though, I wouldn't want to fuss with a woman down there until she gets up and takes a shower. a vagina smells like a 3 day old grilled cheese sandwich first thing in the morning.
 kaiser1one
Joined: 2/20/2009
Msg: 449
Is being woke up with sexual favors rape or not?
Posted: 11/23/2009 7:01:30 PM

Rape is when you don't want it. If you wake up and say no thanks and he/she doesn't stop, then that is the definition.


Not quite, I'd keep trying to see if I could persuade her to go with it. IF however, she decides to tell me no again, then I'll back off and go on my merry way.
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 452
view profile
History
Is being woke up with sexual favors rape or not?
Posted: 11/24/2009 10:17:06 AM
Only if they crawled in through the window, uninvited to your bed.
 dot*
Joined: 10/9/2009
Msg: 453
Is being woke up with sexual favors rape or not?
Posted: 11/24/2009 4:21:34 PM
If you've never been intimate before, and thus there has been no previous consent, then yes, I think it's safe to say it's rape (or something along those lines).

If it's two people who have been intimate with each other before (regularly), then I don't think so.

There is no hard and fast rule, though. Every situation is different.

For me? Best way to wake up :D
 AveryR
Joined: 11/14/2009
Msg: 454
Is being woke up with sexual favors rape or not?
Posted: 11/24/2009 4:33:50 PM
I can only say... that I have personally had a guy do "everything" in his sleep... while I was in a semi-conscious state and it's a very nice dream in the morning. AND HOT!!!!
 kittencat2903
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 455
Is being woke up with sexual favors rape or not?
Posted: 11/24/2009 7:21:39 PM
if you're at a house party, pass out and wake up with someone on top of you....YES its (attempted) rape...good root in the stones and problem solved.

Committed relationship....those were the days.
 Pomose
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 456
Is being woke up with sexual favors rape or not?
Posted: 10/15/2011 1:55:46 AM
Namrael : how would you like it if you woke up to me sexting you in the morning? I wouldn't and you wouldn't be in my bed in the first place, you have issues. As another girl on here said if you're already in a intimate relationship then...... on the other hand if it happened and my SO did not approve I would respect her wishes and not do it again, but instead she cooked us breakfast.
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  >