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Joined: 11/19/2007
Msg: 206
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History are irresponsiblePage 5 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
That is true. I had been a member. You have to pay.
 Adam 4 Coffee
Joined: 5/31/2007
Msg: 208 are irresponsible
Posted: 12/28/2007 5:10:57 PM
Well, I think that is jsut awful to trick people like that. Jdate does the same thing. YOu make a profile and you can;t contact anyone and both parties ahve to pay to contact one another. POF is the best ddating site ever becuase its 100% free to both make a profile and contact eachother and you can even Instant message eachothers with webcams and microphones for a video conference. I jsut with POF had mroe members. The mainstream sites hould take a que from POF and pay for their site with advertising. OR POF should advertise more on social networking sites and advertise that it is not only 100% free to sue but 100% free to contact other members as well. I love the forums great place to chat it up and hear otehr people's experiences.
Joined: 7/15/2007
Msg: 209 and others
Posted: 12/28/2007 5:36:10 PM
Hey hippe. is really good too. easy to keep track when people email you.

if you both are members . you can get around their email changing system by doing this

hippe at yahoo dot com (no spaces)
they do that other thing to protect you or her from having to use your real email address to contact people until you are ready or she is ready to divulge .. you or course can give your phone too

this way someone you don't want does not get your email if you don't want them too

their system reconized and converts the addresses but not if you space it out


Joined: 11/23/2007
Msg: 215 are irresponsible
Posted: 12/28/2007 9:25:32 PM

Had you tried using the lady's profile name as part of an email address by adding "" or "" etc. Sometimes that works. Or go one better...set up a new profile just to get a free 3 day trial and email her from your new profile. Explain who you are and that you are no longer a member but did want to contact her. When you give her your contact info...just spell it all out...but throw some spaces in there or double up the letters to throw their automated searches for these things off the track. So for example put Rob at ya hoo dott com. If she is remotely intelligent or interested, she will find you from that. otherwise, just write her and tell her how to find you on here (the free site!) ;-)
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 218 are irresponsible
Posted: 12/29/2007 8:15:02 AM
Yes, I believe non-paying members cannot see emails on Match, so it doesn't matter how creative you are sending messages (i.e. VenicesKurt's post). The person won't be able to see them unless they pay, which of course defeats the whole purpose?

Non-paying members on Yahoo Personals can see emails, but still can't respond. The problem comes with most people not realizing Yahoo strips email addresses unless you break up the words. I've had about three instances of that, and one woman got really upset with me for not returning her repeated messages containing her email addy, even if just to say "Not interested" (but I was "very" Of course I couldn't reply without paying up. She probably hates me, but doesn't know the circumstances.

Bottom line is why go through all the irritation and aggravation when you already have a wonderful free site like this? Many people are on multiple sites, so if they're on Match or Yahoo they could very well be on here. That's why I sometimes search profiles from other sites I'm on (but either hidden or say in my profile not subscribed) and see if I can spot some familiar profiles from here.

Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 219 and others
Posted: 12/29/2007 11:28:47 PM
Sounds like you had a lot to get out there, dovesfly. Are you just naturally wordy or did this subject touch a nerve?

Joined: 3/15/2007
Msg: 221 are irresponsible
Posted: 12/30/2007 4:47:24 AM
I agree with Dove. I myself know 7 couples who have met on match and are now married. If I had the money, I would be on match or yahoo. My problem with free sites like POF (Even though POF is slightly better) is that people here dont want to meet. Maybe its becuase its free and they arent paying out 170.00 to just "hang around" and search profiles, or send messages over and over without ever getting together. My other issue with free sites is many people on them are lookiing for NSA, Married and looking or looking for FWB. Again, being free makes it easier to just hang around until something comes along who is willing to be the FWB or the NSA . Personally I know of more than a dozen examples of this, most are on here and .
If your shelling out money, I feel there is more of a desire for Long term, or actually dating and meeting.
As far as getting around e-mails on yahoo and match, I have sent and recieved messages with real e-mail addies, and they werent blocked. I had more of a problem posting a pic with match. every single one they decided wasnt a good headshot, and placed as a second or third pic, with no main one.. I submitted 10 pics, none were okay for them.
A creative way to get someone to e-mail you outside a paying site was a profile I saw on , the header was "same name smily face" ( being the smily face when you have your messenger on)
I agree to, that additude and commitment to finding someone is also key. Dating is supposed to be fun!
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 224 are irresponsible
Posted: 12/30/2007 7:14:23 AM
I was just good-natured kiddin' ya, doves. I actually really enjoyed reading your post.

Outofthedesert enlightened me about Match indulging in negotiations. I didn't know that before. I feel even MORE angry paying as much as I did back when I was a paid member! The crooks!!

Like I said, why go through all the shenanigans and hoop-jumping pay sites put you through when you can have this for free??? To me it's a no-brainer? No site, pay or free, can guarantee relationship success -- that's always been up to the individual -- but at least you save the irritation trying to be creative getting around all garbage pay sites put you through. That Match negotiation story was the last straw, just frosted my flakes, and sealed the deal for me. Match sucks, POF Rocks!!!

Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 226 are irresponsible
Posted: 12/30/2007 7:26:42 AM
People have met and gotten married on pretty much every site, trail. You don't really know if Match is any better than others unless you read some reputable statistics. Sounds like I may do some Googling. But again, why go through all the creative back-dooring (imbedding email addys, having to negotiate a lower sub, etc) on pay sites when this one's free?

OK, just did a quick search. Not sure if one can even find a statistical survey of relationship success because of the guarded nature of the industry, but I did find this very basic overview...

What the Research Says

• (*est. $30 per month)

Best online dating site overall. In reviews, emerges as the largest and most refined online dating service. Reviews praise it for its ease of use and excellent search options. helps you create your profile and compose e-mails. It also offers video profiles, instant messaging and video e-mails. Experts like its keyword search function and two-way matching that checks for common interests in both profiles. You can search and browse for free, but you must subscribe to send or receive e-mails from members. Reviews say is a fun dating site that has the most diverse range of members.

• (*est. $50 per month)

Online dating site for serious singles., an offshoot of, is very similar to eHarmony, but it's less expensive, with a less restrictive membership policy. There is a lengthy personality test; then the system tries to match you with others based on your answers. Searching profiles is not permitted; you have to wait for to send you matches. Unlike other sites, asks for feedback on the level of interest you have in your matches so the computer can be trained to find you better matches. The first five matches are free, but you must subscribe to the service before you can contact them.

• (*est. $30 per month)

Best casual dating site. Reviews say's features and fun attitude set it apart from other online dating sites. lets users choose between three divisions: dating, relationships and intimate encounters. You can create a separate profile for each. Unlike and other services, offers online chat in addition to instant messaging and video clips.

• (free,

**Best free dating service**, a free online dating service, boasts over a million members and has grown solely by word of mouth. Reviews say it offers many of the same features as paid services, such as help creating a profile and the ability to search by age range, gender or region. also has some noteworthy features. There is a forum and an area where members can rate each other. However, lacks the sophisticated profile matching and communication features of many paid sites.

Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 228 are irresponsible
Posted: 12/30/2007 7:49:46 AM

Did you actually read my post, it's right there in the first paragraph.

Whoa, don't get all bent out of shape. My comment was just a general statement reiterating my earlier views and not directed solely at you.

Yes, I do agree, having personal experience is a great barometer, but since Match is the largest service and the most visible it's not surprising you're hearing more relationship success from them. Statistical research would tell if they have the best success "proportionally" compared to other services. In other words, a smaller service might have a better success rate than the larger ones in proportion to their membership size, but not overall count.

Joined: 6/4/2007
Msg: 229 are irresponsible
Posted: 12/30/2007 8:27:52 AM
I have been on several sites.... I think they are misleading when they show me profiles of previous members that no longer are subscribers. I also dont appreciate being used by dating sites that post my picture/profile to mislead someone to think they can contact me by joining the site.
If I sign up with a pay site..... I want to see only women who have paid also.... otherwise, its a huge waste of time and the only entity that benifits is the paysite...., EHarmony-Guilty, Yahoo-Guilty, EquestrianSingles-Guilty, FarmersOnly-Guilty....

Of course we all know that money/greed is what makes the world go around. It will never change. These personal sites are what they are....

As far as success stories, Reminds me of playing slots at the Casino.... everyones throwing in money and once in awhile you hear about someone hitting a jackpot and finding love ..... but theres a landslide of people who walk out the door broke and frustrated.
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 233 are irresponsible
Posted: 12/30/2007 11:15:42 AM

I think you still really missed my point, unless you live in a major metro area, your success on a smaller service (or even a larger one) is highly dependent on how many other people in your area use that service. You need to pick a service where there are actually a significant number of members in your area. That's the statistics I'd recommend looking into in choosing a service. If that site also turns out to be free, even better!

True, if your criteria for finding success is ruled strictly by how big a dating service is. If that's the overriding logic, everybody should join Match and get off every other sites, but that's not the reality. The reality is most people are on "multiple" sites to widen their search range as much as possible (reason being no one site has every potential available choice). If people can pay to be on a lot of sites, fine, it's their money. I just found most can't (hence all the creative ways to get around pay site rules put forth just in this thread alone).

I was on Match for awhile and found choices were many, but also found the women seemed to be the most high maintenance and elitist of all the sites I've been on. That's been MY personal experience, so I really don't care how many people married from there. That's "never" been my overriding criteria.
Joined: 11/27/2007
Msg: 234 and others
Posted: 12/30/2007 1:57:20 PM
I've been recently getting ... Well, I suppose it's spam from They want me to join, they've got way too many women, all sorts of "you'll find someone quick" bait.
I've looked, but their pricing plans are hidden *Very* well. That sort of thing fosters distrust for me.. I don't want to spend all that time filling out my profile then find out it's $50 to contact someone.

I highly doubt my results will be any better ofer there than here- So why not save my cash for lunch with a cutie?
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 235 and others
Posted: 12/30/2007 2:07:50 PM

I highly doubt my results will be any better ofer there than here- So why not save my cash for lunch with a cutie?

That's the spirit, backflip.
Joined: 12/22/2006
Msg: 236 and others
Posted: 1/6/2008 2:08:12 PM
Maybe greedy crooks have taken over when it was free. It's not a pure rip off. I even use that site. The best thing is forwarding profiles to friends and family.
Joined: 12/22/2006
Msg: 238 are irresponsible
Posted: 1/8/2008 4:48:55 AM
Maybe I will stay with the free sites. I know someone who found a girlfriend on and they didn't share a success story. Success stories could be fake and could be for real.
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 240
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History just isn't worth your time!
Posted: 2/16/2008 2:27:58 PM
I joined a year ago and have been on it on and off for even longer. Everyone I have met there was just looking for some tail. If tail is your thing great, but that was not the original concept behind the site. It's turned into a meat market, so I terminated my membership. To answer your question, at the beginning of your profile, put something like. If you'd like to contact me, you can always reach me at ( ) at that America on the line site, since I'm not a member here. Usually that works.

This site has blown me away, I met someone great and right away. I would go back to craigslist which I also had some success on, before I would ever do match again
Joined: 12/22/2006
Msg: 242 just isn't worth your time!
Posted: 2/29/2008 4:38:29 AM
I haven't met that many girls on and I heard that there were people successful with the site who have gotten married. I think that all they care about is the money they get.
Joined: 7/6/2006
Msg: 247 are irresponsible
Posted: 2/29/2008 3:09:09 PM
There is a trick , that very few people know about ( unfortunately ) , have 2 email addresses , register with one , and use the other as your user name ( not with the @hotmail dot com prefix )

EG: email 1 mynamehere@hotmail
email 2 anamehere@hotmail

register mynamehere as your user name , but use the anamehere as your actual email address , this way you can contact other members without blowing your actual registered with them email address.

this saves the whole trying to hide your email address in your profile act. You can be caught out , as they have methods to find out ( usually a spam email sent out to the user name , and if you answer they know , so you have to answer VERY carefully , or use another alternate email addy , but dont answer to their question , stasrt with one of your own , like " i saw your profile on X site , and thought i would email you , my user name is XYZ .

It does take some tweaking , and , like i said not everyone does it ( for privacy issues - im sure people dont want more stalkers than they already have lol )

But its the free sites like this one that more people should know about. I dont see why it should cost you hard earned money to end up empty handed.
Joined: 12/22/2006
Msg: 248 are irresponsible
Posted: 2/29/2008 3:41:10 PM
If OK Cupid becomes a pay site I am giving it up. I stay with this site too and I am not getting responses on this site. I have met very few girls on
Joined: 10/18/2006
Msg: 250 are irresponsible
Posted: 3/2/2008 5:02:46 AM

If I sign up with a pay site..... I want to see only women who have paid also.... otherwise, its a huge waste of time and the only entity that benifits is the paysite...., EHarmony-Guilty, Yahoo-Guilty, EquestrianSingles-Guilty, FarmersOnly-Guilty....

The thing is, for the most part women do NOT have to pay to get responses, even on paysites. I have a woman friend who's met a lot of partners on AFF. On FF (friend finder) sites a guy has to be a paying member just to even look at someone else's profile. All a woman has to do is have a profile up (without being a paying member). Guys will contact her and usually give her his e-mail address.

The advice my woman friend gave me was to keep messaging the women you're interested in. That makes sense because a lot of women get tons of messages on these dating sites and chances are she's not going to read each and every one of them.
Joined: 12/22/2006
Msg: 251 are irresponsible
Posted: 3/3/2008 4:41:21 AM
Has anyone ever reported, eharmony or yahoo personals to the Internet Crime Complaint Center? I heard that people reported to them. Even the Texas attorney general and better business bearau.
 Adam 4 Coffee
Joined: 5/31/2007
Msg: 252 and others
Posted: 3/3/2008 4:55:28 AM
you forgot jdate they want both people to have paid user accounts and I think I may have 3 fake messages that I can;t read trying to get me to join. I am not paying $40-$60 a month when POF and some other sites are free. And if someone has a free acount they should be able to read teh e-m,ail sent by a paid user. And be able to get a reply.
Joined: 12/22/2006
Msg: 253 and others
Posted: 3/16/2008 9:24:50 AM
I will avoid the pay sites and stay with this site. I was getting on so many girls not interested in me.
Joined: 12/22/2006
Msg: 260 are irresponsible
Posted: 3/18/2008 4:37:34 AM
I gave up on since I lost trust in them. Pay sites could care less about fake profiles I think. Maybe needs to be put out of business.
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