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Joined: 10/26/2005
Msg: 9
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Emotionally Unavailable........ He is just not that into you ... buy the book !Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Hi! It sounds like he is "Just Not That Into You!" Don't waste your time on someone like that move on and find Mr. Right! Val
Joined: 4/15/2005
Msg: 10
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Emotionally Unavailable........
Posted: 1/5/2006 9:20:41 AM
I relate to this guy, I think he probably will come around just be patient and supportive of him; don't force him, the more you care the more aloof you should try to be, do that and he will come around to trusting you. Let him know you care about him, but don't tell him too often, drop something like that after he says something that is an indicator of his interest, then change the subject if you need to. Try to concentrate on what is working, not on what is not.
Joined: 1/28/2008
Msg: 15
Emotionally Unavailable........
Posted: 2/24/2008 6:39:49 PM
well, even though sabinee's post is pretty brutal from a male standpoint, she points out a lot of good info. and if this guy is emotionally unavailable because of his past and is guarded, that's not something you can change. he will have to do it in his own time. wait and see....but if you're not patient enough to wait and see, tell him that and walk away. stop burning the candle at both ends.
Joined: 1/27/2008
Msg: 16
Emotionally Unavailable........
Posted: 2/25/2008 12:15:07 PM
Ok, So I've been seeing this guy for almost two months. We have a great time together but he is completely emotionally unavailable. It seems like I am paying for his past girlfriends mistakes and it's starting to get to me. So how do you overcome something like that? I don't wanna give up but its getting more frustrating everyday!!!

So everybody put your 2cents in and lets see where this goes.... I know I can't be the only person out here in this same

I know that this was posted over 2 years ago, but it sounds like I could have written it!
You cannot overcome his emotional unavailability - no matter how much you like him, care about him, want him..and no matter how much you want to help or fix him. This is his problem and only he can take care of what's bothering him and hopefully become emotionally available someday. Sadly, though, some people are content only when they are miserable... and as the saying goes, misery loves company. Trying to be with someone like this will only bring heartache to you in the end. It's easier to cut your losses after only two months than it is to have things drag on.......

This emotionally unavailable/scared/shy stuff is an absolute joke - it's a cover up for the chronically selfish and stupid.

Amen! I have found that emotionally unavailable people are also chronically selfish and stupid! They think that they are the only people on this earth that have been hurt, cheated on, dumped... I mean, I know that people have problems and issues and that they can have an effect on your life, personality, and relationships....but there IS help out there and there is no reason in this day and age to not reach out for it... and there is no excuse in the world to try to bring others down with you or to treat them poorly.
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 17
Emotionally Unavailable........
Posted: 2/25/2008 12:29:16 PM

"emotionally unavailable" disease??

is it listed with the center for disease control center?

whats the cure? a hole in the head or a 1000 watt hearing aid? or both??

a hydraulic sledge hammer maybe??

maybe its ear wax causing this disease??

Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 19
Emotionally Unavailable........
Posted: 2/25/2008 6:08:00 PM
He's really not that into you... so get over it! He did not allow himself enough time between partners to become HAPPY AGAIN. He probably feels smothered, yet does not want to let go.... for FEAR OF BEING ALONE. But, it is in being alone, he will gain back the emotion of happiness.

I don't know what to tell you.... except you are not going to have a very good time. It sounds as if he does not fully appreciate you, because his heart is not OPEN.

Let him go, so he can open his heart again!
Joined: 12/14/2014
Msg: 21
Emotionally Unavailable........
Posted: 1/10/2015 7:48:30 AM
The young lady that ive met during the holidays made me wait until after the holidays to meet. Why?
Joined: 12/26/2014
Msg: 22
Emotionally Unavailable........
Posted: 1/10/2015 10:04:13 AM

The young lady that ive met during the holidays made me wait until after the holidays to meet. Why?

Because the holidays tend to be a very busy time for most people. Running around to get stuff decorated, buying presents in overcrowded stores, holiday parties, cooking, baking, etc. The holidays are always super stressful for me, and I had no social life except some holiday parties at work. This one guy got so angry at me for being too exhausted to meet up with him, he stopped talking to me. Oh well, he is singe, never married, no kids, no family around here, he has no clue how bad it can get. I definitely wouldn't hold it against someone if they were too busy to date during the holidays.
Joined: 11/1/2012
Msg: 23
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Emotionally Unavailable........
Posted: 1/10/2015 10:18:12 AM
Dex, why hijack a 7 year old thread? You could have started a new one.
You "met" someone and yet you didn't "meet" her?
Joined: 12/13/2014
Msg: 24
Emotionally Unavailable........
Posted: 1/10/2015 8:14:15 PM
i had this happen to me and i can tell you it's frustrating.

it's like the guy was afraid of something and i didn't know what. probably like the ghosts of christmas past it was ghosts of girlfriends past.
Joined: 6/13/2013
Msg: 25
Emotionally Unavailable........
Posted: 1/10/2015 9:48:08 PM
Dex I am confused....

The young lady that ive met during the holidays made me wait until after the holidays to meet. Why?

You have met her but not???

Do you mean you have been typing to a pen pal who wants to wait a while to meet in person?
You met at a party and she does not want to see you again?
She visited you in prison but wants to wait for the conjugal visit?
She wants you to write her a literate email first?

Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 26
Emotionally Unavailable........
Posted: 1/11/2015 12:02:42 AM
You have known the guy for several weeks only. You meet every few days and he is enjoying the fun and the sex.
He has a history of failed relationships but he is only 31 and one day he will commit to the right one. It may or may not be you.
Give it time and stop thinking about forever. It is way too early. Your biological clock may be ticking but if you pressure him for more than he can give, he will be gone, just like with the others. You are in the early throes of lust and attraction
and not really thinking straight. GIve it time.
Joined: 12/29/2014
Msg: 27
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Emotionally Unavailable........
Posted: 1/11/2015 2:45:07 AM
The ball is in your court. It could take this guy years to heal if ever. I could not be in a situation like yours. If you feel you want to take the gamble it is your choice. I met a lady once who dated a married man for 50 years. He promised to leave his wife and never did. She sacrificed her youth and happiness for this guy. She died single and lonely. This is a true story.
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 28
Emotionally Unavailable........
Posted: 1/11/2015 4:20:03 PM
50 years?? It must have suited her to be the other woman and there are no guarantees that any of us wont die single and lonely anyway. We are talking about a relationship that is only weeks old here. We all have baggage from the past and can make it an excuse not to commit or whatever but way too soon for the girl to be worried about a commitment.
Joined: 12/29/2014
Msg: 29
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Emotionally Unavailable........
Posted: 1/19/2015 3:14:57 AM
In my case I could not be in a relationship with someone emotionally unavailable . Trust me it is not your job to fix broken men. It is something that can not be done. It boils down to how much more time do you want to waste on someone who is not going to give you what you need?

There are plenty of loving , caring, great men in your age range. I would find a guy more loving. You will feel nothing but emotional pain hanging with this guy.

When the going gets tough, the tough get going. Look deep inside yourself. What is lacking in you that you would accept a relationship with someone who can not love you in a healthy fashion? You deserve someone who is emotionally healthy.

In your shoes I would move on without him. Good Luck OP
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 30
Emotionally Unavailable........
Posted: 3/6/2017 7:31:18 AM
Gosh, why such Natalie hate? :)

women generally put out for the emotionally unavailable b/c daddy gave them no love and so they're old enough to think they can buy it with sex. Men put out for the emotionally unavailable b/c they're giving it away and then going away. Everyone gets the thing they're really looking for but don't want to admit to


on a side note, its fun to bring up an ancient post, notice how many times over the years someone asked, "why is someone else bringing this up"? Old posts never die. more fun is getting reminded of old people who used to be here, like Trust in Karma. She's probably out there now, having the same success she did while she was here.
Joined: 3/4/2017
Msg: 31
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Emotionally Unavailable........
Posted: 3/8/2017 3:05:38 PM
I just noticed this is a very old thread. I was going to give a reply here haha

For the sake of the topic, sometimes people need to be by themselves to heal from the past. It isn't fair for anyone to pay the price of someone else's mistakes.
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 32
Emotionally Unavailable........
Posted: 6/9/2017 10:46:52 AM
Did TrustinKarma marry a military guy?
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 33
Emotionally Unavailable........
Posted: 6/9/2017 10:50:53 AM
Isn't there an age requirement to join the military ?
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 34
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Mom signed my permission slip, Ma'am
Posted: 6/9/2017 12:49:19 PM
Haha. Nice, BCC.
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 35
Mom signed my permission slip, Ma'am
Posted: 6/11/2017 4:01:12 PM
This thread is older than fire.
Joined: 3/14/2017
Msg: 36
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Emotionally Unavailable........
Posted: 6/14/2017 1:51:57 PM
People who are emotionally unavailable are the type you should not push too much. Typically they will react bad to push you away. So since he has been open with you you about it, in the end its your choice if you want to stay or move onto someone who is more emotionally open.
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