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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Registered Sex Offender?!?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Sniggy
Joined: 12/9/2005
Msg: 67
Registered Sex Offender?!?Page 3 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
Forget him because you would always wonder. I would say quit defending him too unless you were right there with him the whole time the incident occured because what if he told you he likes sneaking into little girls rooms and molesting them.
 Eve2006
Joined: 1/1/2006
Msg: 68
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/10/2006 8:21:50 PM
I suppose he told you that he didn't do it; he is innocent! Right! As a survivor of child molestation and an adult survivor of incest, I have one thing to say!

Kick his sorry ass out of your life!

The only reason he told you that he is a sex offender is because he had to register, and someone else would have told you sooner, or later!

How would you feel if you stayed with him, and later on down the road, you found out that he had molested your sister, your neighbor's child, your friend's children! There is no known cure for these people! They don't just quit doing that! They are sick, sick, sick!

Wake up! I believe you know what the right thing is to do; otherwise, you wouldn't have brought it up!

Or, maybe you made the whole thing up for attention. If that's true, then you are the sick one!
 Eve2006
Joined: 1/1/2006
Msg: 69
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/10/2006 8:25:24 PM
He didn't have sex with her! How do you know that? Because he told you so? Ya, right!

One does not have to have SEX with their victim in order to be a molester! I was still a virgin after I was molested; there was no penetration!

Sounds like Clinton. We did not have SEX. No, she only gave him BJs. Yuck!

Well, you'll do what you want, and it sounds like you've got your mind made up. Too bad for you!
 virgogidget
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 70
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Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/10/2006 9:03:07 PM
Im actually with msg 12 on this. they were at a bar drinking ok if this girl looked 14 how was she allowed into the bar,my daugther has always looked older than she is also acted mature for her age, he opened up and told u about his past knowing he could lose u. this isnt the first time ive heard a simular story to this, and at 23 young men are very sexual and drinking he wouldnt be in right frame of mind.plz understand i am not making excuses for him but i can see how this could happen and they sure start young these days(i dont agree with that either but it is a fact)You said his been good to u and u had no problems. I know the word sex offender everyone thinks the worst re rape or children. he could of kept his mouth shut and not of told u, but he didnt he was honest enough to tell u. check it out at the court and sit down and talk to him about it openly. we all have pasts and i think his paying for his night mistake plus the jail term if there is more to it at the court or if his done it b4 yes end it and dont look back, but if this was a one off be course of them drinking then the past is the past why didnt she speak up?
 virgogidget
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 71
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Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/10/2006 9:06:31 PM
Also here in australia on the gold coast the girls look older than 14 they sure dont look like little girls
 Eve2006
Joined: 1/1/2006
Msg: 72
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/10/2006 9:07:57 PM
I guess if a guy meets a hot chick in a bar, he should ask for her ID, huh?
 Reenie999
Joined: 11/7/2005
Msg: 73
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/10/2006 9:20:13 PM
[ Somehow there must be more to this story. How does one end up on the list of sexual offenders if he never engaged in sexual activity with a minor? ]


It depends on the state.....in some states he could have been the 18 yr old fiance of a 16 yr old and gone to prison if her parents pressed charges.
 virgogidget
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 74
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Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/10/2006 9:57:06 PM
my friends and i got into nightclubs when we were that age, yes maybe girls should have to have id cards but then i guess they would use fake ones. the only way u are going to find out the truth is to go and read the paperwork yourself not just phone them
 cuter_than_anyone
Joined: 10/28/2005
Msg: 77
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/11/2006 8:02:06 AM

I can't believe I'm reading some of this. Some of you guys posts are from a 23 year old and another from a 33 year old. Actually saying you would have a hard time Distinguishing a child from a adult!!!!!!

14 is not 18 There is a huge huge difference and 18 is barely even pushing the realm of being a adult. 14 is barely pushing being able to take care of oneself without parent supervision.

And even if a 14 year old did look like a adult. How long does it take to clue that she's not 18, because of the way she acts. Please no one say it was convincing acting lol.


i agree 100% or 110% maybe. maybe the braces and the n'sync shirt didn't clue them in
 newintown503
Joined: 9/7/2005
Msg: 78
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Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/11/2006 8:18:21 AM
I went to the courthouse yesterday and looked at his file and everything was as he said it was. I snuck, when the clerks weren't looking, and opened all the envelopes that said "only to be opened by a judge". It described the incident exactly as he described it. The mother had found out by reading her daughter's journal. The bouncer at the bar had signed an agreement with the bar not to testify in order to keep the bar from being sued, so he pled the fifth. Due to a law in place at the time called the "rape shield" law, her character and actions couldn't be questioned by the defense attorney unless the prosecuting attorney brought the subject up first (which he very wisely didn't bring that subject up). When he was arrested, he admitted to taking her to his house with the intent to have sex with her and then taking her home when he discovered her age but since she never testified (she had a decent attorney; his was court appointed) and the bouncer pleaded the fifth, they had a hard time convincing a jury that she had purposely led him to believe that she was of age. All the motions to repress etc were in his file, along with transcripts.

But it doesn't matter now. Even though I never believed him capable of hurting a child or anything like that, his past would taint any kind of future that we could have had together. I feel bad but I am just not ready to settle for a man (albeit, a very great and loving man) who has such a huge thing in his past and quite a chip on his shoulder. So we broke up.



Edit: The prison sentence at that time for "indecent liberties with a minor" were minimum 2 years to maximum 10 years. He served 21 months - less than the required two years.
 DacaInaru
Joined: 8/18/2005
Msg: 79
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/11/2006 8:30:18 AM
well just keep in mind that the decision you made is the best for you..

on another note.. gosh you guys have easy going court houses.. in connecticut you have to go through a detector, just to get through the front door.. then when you get to the records department you have to show id.. sigh a form requesting the document then the clerk stand right there when your looking through the file.. and all this just to get a copy of my divorce decree....
 newintown503
Joined: 9/7/2005
Msg: 80
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Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/11/2006 8:33:18 AM
Welcome to rural North Carolina!

I even made copies of his psychological evaluation!

Furthermore, I can tell you the name and address of the minor involved in the case...?

They were paying no attention to what I was doing.
 DacaInaru
Joined: 8/18/2005
Msg: 81
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/11/2006 8:39:33 AM
wow.. thats scary.. I hate going to court here.. but it makes you think.. anyone can just walk in and get your info..what if your being stalked.. thats scary..

and newintown.. I didn't point that out to pick on you.. I'm seriously amazed that you could just walk in.. heck here your lucky if they don't make you pee in a cup.. lol..
 newintown503
Joined: 9/7/2005
Msg: 82
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Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/11/2006 8:45:14 AM
I was very surprised myself. I couldn't believe that they had included that info in his files at all - it was in a regular envelope that simply said "only for a judge to open". If it was private, why would they put it in a PUBLIC record? I walked in and told them what I needed and the little clerk walked right back there (indicating that I should come around the counter as well) and pulled out his file and handed it to me and said "there are chairs right over there". Even the copies were free.
 DacaInaru
Joined: 8/18/2005
Msg: 83
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/11/2006 8:48:42 AM
FREE!! good god.. here you have to pay $20 for each document you get a copy of..

I soooo need to move to a cheaper state.

either way i'm glad you got out of this relationship..even if he was "innocent" you'd still have a hard road to travel.
 newintown503
Joined: 9/7/2005
Msg: 84
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Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/11/2006 8:53:29 AM
Yeah, that's exactly how I felt about it. But I am going to miss breakfast in bed and the big bear hugs that just felt so right.

I think this lil fishy is going to crawl into a hole for awhile.
 Linguatic
Joined: 4/18/2005
Msg: 85
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/11/2006 9:18:43 AM
So the bouncer and the little slut were willing to let a guy go to jail for up to 10 years, rather than tell the truth. The bouncer might have lost his job, but what would the girl have lost? Some people are real gems.
 heather2005
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 87
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Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/11/2006 10:55:12 AM
so let me get this straight though he was a great guy, you got along great you went read his files and everything he said was true? but you couldn't handle the pressure and move on? that is truly sad. i mean i just don't get it if he was such a fantastic guy who really gives a sh.it what other people think of you, the only thing that matters is yourself.
 palegreenstars
Joined: 5/20/2005
Msg: 88
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/11/2006 11:02:25 AM
WOW, i would not be able to live with it either. I mean...I would always think something. I commend you for looking for the truth...I mean you have to know (although it was scary how they just up and left you with the info)
 newintown503
Joined: 9/7/2005
Msg: 89
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Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/11/2006 11:03:23 AM
Heather2005:

It would have tainted everything - what if we decided to have children?

Even if he was no longer registered, there would still be an "indecencies with a MINOR" charge on his record. What if our child wanted to have a sleep over or birthday party? Would it be fair to withhold that information from other parents or to deny our children of those childhood things? If someone did find out, how would you feel if the father of one of your children's friends was a former convicted sex offender? Even with a full explaination of his crime, people here are still calling for his balls to be cut off. Would I spend the rest of my life trying to convince the whole world that he is a decent guy?

I'm sorry but it sounds like a lifetime of difficulties. Maybe I'm weak but I couldn't handle it.
 DacaInaru
Joined: 8/18/2005
Msg: 90
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/11/2006 11:09:38 AM
Newingtown.. not weak.. don't see it as that.. see it as being realistic..

good for you!
 cuter_than_anyone
Joined: 10/28/2005
Msg: 91
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/11/2006 11:16:57 AM
you can invoke the fifth to prevent a lawsuit? that must be new
 kitticat
Joined: 12/28/2005
Msg: 92
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Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/11/2006 11:18:48 AM
Before you get involved with a guy who has a criminal record, you are morally entitled to get all the facts! I dated a guy who told me (after we had been several months into the relatinship) that he had been in federal prison for burglary... blah, blah, blah... was very young... in with the wrong crowd...boo hoo. OK... I said I could deal with that. Later.. I learned that he had been in federal penitentiaries twice...not once... and one of the charges was attempted murder. In all, he had spent 11 yrs in prison. I would never again trust someone with a criminal record. Did you know that for 10 bucks you can go online and check someone's criminal record? You may find out more that you suspected! I'd advise it to anyone.
 newintown503
Joined: 9/7/2005
Msg: 93
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Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/11/2006 11:22:18 AM
Well, I know he refused to talk during the trial and my (ex)bf had told me before that the bouncer had signed some deal with the bar stating that he would not offer any testimony that would leave them culpable and open to a lawsuit. The bouncer probably could have gotten into trouble himself, so he and the bar owners were trying to cover their as*es.
 gentle_giant
Joined: 7/4/2005
Msg: 94
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/11/2006 11:30:35 AM
did you all know that if you urinate in your own back yard and if someone seen you doing it or over heard you pissing in your yard. and you get arrested for it. you will go on the offenders list anyways. doesnt matter if you kissed a young girl under age or even picked her up at a place. it doesnt matter where it is or what it is you still get put on the list.


pissing in public daytime or nighttime.
showing breasting to someone in the bar and someone reports it in. you get arrested and put on the list. they are not going to take no more shit from anyone.


and for the guy who messed up and found out the girl was actually 14 and got scared. i bet you had to of went to classes for that and 2 years probation.


the girls now days that look like whores,sluts and more. its really the parents faults they let them dress like that.


this goes out to the parents nationwide. you let your kids dress looking like a slut or bait. and if something happens to your kid its your fault cause you didnt stop it.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Registered Sex Offender?!?