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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Registered Sex Offender?!?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 DacaInaru
Joined: 8/18/2005
Msg: 51
Registered Sex Offender?!?Page 3 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)

Let me reiterate: He did NOT have sex with her.


where you there? or are you just going by what he said? did you get a police report.. do a background check? anything?

I'm not judging you.. things happen.. but until you have clear full knowledge.. especially when it comes to something like this.. don't assume he is innocent.. saddly its for your safety..

ending something hurt.. Due to what my abuser tried to do with my daughter.. I had to end some major family relationship and yes..being that they where my support.. it hurt..but here I am a year later..and doing extreamly well and happy that I did what i had to do to protect my kids..

You deserve to be safe.. ..just check things out..before assuming he is innocent.
 R-U-Here
Joined: 6/21/2005
Msg: 52
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/10/2006 11:23:41 AM
Either way for anyone to mistake a fourteen year old girl for being of age is insane. He can claim he did not know as much as he wants too, show me a picture of a fourteen year old girl and I could tell or have enugh concern to really question her age and ability to consent.
 newintown503
Joined: 9/7/2005
Msg: 53
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Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/10/2006 11:29:58 AM
Speaking of ignorance:

Sex offender and sexual preditor are two entirely different things.

A sexual preditor is a person who has repeatedly offended and is thought likely to offend again while a sex offender is someone who has offended once and is not thought to offend again.

I think there is a big difference between someone who unknowingly made out with a minor who had a fake ID and obviously wanted to be seen as an adult vs. someone who preys on small children.

In May of 2008, he will not even be required to register anymore. He has no regulations on staying away from schools or anything like that.

I'm not worried about him hurting children - that wasn't even the nature of his original crime. I'm concerned that we will always be waiting for his past to kick us in the a*s again. Job wise etc.

Assuming that he would ever knowingly hurt a child or, furthermore, that I would condone such behavior is ignorance on your part.
 South of the border
Joined: 12/8/2005
Msg: 54
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/10/2006 11:36:28 AM
People on line are so fast to judge.There advice they give doesn't affect there lives.Well here in Canada are laws say you can have sex with a 14 year old if she says yes.
 R-U-Here
Joined: 6/21/2005
Msg: 55
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/10/2006 11:39:41 AM
You are defending his actions, hence condonign his crime.
A sexual preditor, your right by definaintion is someone that has comitted sexualy offensive crimes more than once and is believed to be capable of commiting again.
You hear dthe court docket, you did not see the court records or evidence. Was his case pleabargained down? was parts of the court docket sealed to protect the minor involved? Was he caught the first time he committed this type of offense?
The amount of time spent in prison seems a bit harsh for a crime of the nature you have described. A principle at an area catholic school was arrested and found guilty on 15 charges of sexual contact with a minor, he was sentanced to only 5 years in prison. Your boyfriend was sentenced to 21 months. Justify it and think logically. The truth may be hard to take, don't sugar coat this and ruin your life defending someone that will eventually drag you down.
 molonel
Joined: 12/20/2005
Msg: 56
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/10/2006 11:46:40 AM

Speaking of ignorance: Sex offender and sexual preditor are two entirely different things. A sexual preditor is a person who has repeatedly offended and is thought likely to offend again while a sex offender is someone who has offended once and is not thought to offend again.


No. A sex offender is simply a person who has been criminally charged and convicted of a sexual offense.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_offender

"Sex offender" is a legal term. A "sexual predator" is simply someone who obtains sex in a predatory manner. It doesn't even have to be a crime, nor are they necessarily violent. Although some states have laws about sexually violent predators, it is not normally a legal term like sex offender.

I don't quite understand why you are being so hostile against people who are simply asking you to dig more deeply, and not take somebody's word for it. What are you afraid you'll find?


I think there is a big difference between someone who unknowingly made out with a minor who had a fake ID and obviously wanted to be seen as an adult vs. someone who preys on small children.


Which, again, brings us back to the fact that you assume you know what happened. You don't, yet.
 ~iiCe~
Joined: 7/26/2005
Msg: 57
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/10/2006 1:31:22 PM
Hmmm... why date someone you wouldn't leave alone with your younger siblings.. and then if that is the case would you ever feel comfortable having children with him....

and in some cases your children may be considered at risk of abuse if he is a registered sex offender...

whatever he did do with that girl... got him arrested... got him 20 months... and got him on a list of men who commit sex crimes... to me that is enough... details of what he did aren't important...

besides... we only give the minimal amount of information in situations in times like this... enough to not be a liar...
 mogrl
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 58
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/10/2006 2:00:44 PM
@ Rake...lots of 14 year old girls look much older these days.When i was 13 i would go hang out in night clubs and nobody would have ever guessed that i was only 13.With the right make up and the right clothes anything is possible.
 Nghtshft
Joined: 11/26/2005
Msg: 59
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/10/2006 2:24:52 PM
Oh brother.....I can't believe I've read this whole thread...

There are probably a 1000 men out there dieing to have a girl like you to date....I'm sure there is 1 that you would have feelings for also...I know you have feelings for this guy but hun please consider the reality here....the trust factor is always going to be there to haunt you....I say to find ya a man who is worth a trusting relationship with....

My .03 worth
 Hockeygirl777
Joined: 7/25/2005
Msg: 60
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Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/10/2006 5:08:45 PM
Before you make a decision on this, i'd get all the information. Criminals technically leave the "gore" out of thier story to make it sound more plausible in someone's mind. I'd get all the facts and then make a decision, until then... be very cautious. They don't register people if they've done nothing wrong.

Good Luck
 heather2005
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 61
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Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/10/2006 6:01:52 PM
you know everyone on here is so judgemental--you are the only one who knows him in person so if he makes you happy, you have checked out his story and you like him i would say stay with him.

to everyone else--you all keep acting like he was old and molesting a child he was 23 i believe she said and the girl was 14--yes here where i live they let 18 year olds into the bar and i know of girls who started going at 14 and saying they left their id at home. yes they looked 18 and obviously if they passed the security at the bar every weekend alot of people thought so--so why not forgive someone for this mistake?? what noone on here ever made a mistake in their life? if he has moved on and is trying to put it behind him maybe he is a great guy and is trying to rebuild his life after this terrible ordeal. hindsight is 20/20 and i am sure if he could go back he would of done it all right..you know asked for id.etc. not trusted his friend the girl was with who lied..this actually happened to my ex husband when he was 18 the girl was 15 but lied and said she was 18 and his friend her cousin lied for her luckily he didn't get in trouble but some girls lie and the guy makes a mistake and trusts her--no reason to judge him the rest of his life
 anApplepear
Joined: 12/9/2005
Msg: 62
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Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/10/2006 6:11:05 PM
Newintown,

Please stay away from this Forum a couple of days so that you may calm down a little bit. You don't need to be confused, upset and frightened by all the comments here even they are all with truthful good intents. At this time, I don't think you are taking any negative opinions from us.

Have some quieter times for yourself alone and be yourself. After couple of days, you may feel different about this situation. All you need is time. Go for a walk and get some fresh air.

Take a short break from him. Tell him you will see him in about a month or two, for you need time to work out your own feelings. I think he will respect you on that. Why rush to make a decision now??

And of course I know you are hurting like hell, all I can say is we'll all have hard times. I wish you all the strength in going through this. Lot of hugs.
 MsAnnThrope
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 63
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/10/2006 6:52:45 PM
Agreed, sex offenders and sexual predators are expert at manipulation and shifting blame to others. What really gets me about the OP's story is this:

They supposedly had some form of consensual sexual contact. He found out she was underage, then took her home. So...Who called the police? Next thing you know, he gets ALMOST TWO YEARS IN JAIL?!?!

Either your area is even stricter than TEXAS in handing down sentences or there's a helluva lot more to the story than you heard. Sounds more like force of some kind was involved to warrant that kind of jail time. I think you got a partial version of the truth, so he could turn around and say, "Hey, I COULD have lied to you..." to make you feel guilty.

But then again, you're here posting rationalizations for him and defending him. Sounds like you already made up your mind. Good luck with that.
 osh42
Joined: 10/18/2005
Msg: 64
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/10/2006 7:38:32 PM
I can't believe I'm reading some of this. Some of you guys posts are from a 23 year old and another from a 33 year old. Actually saying you would have a hard time Distinguishing a child from a adult!!!!!!

14 is not 18 There is a huge huge difference and 18 is barely even pushing the realm of being a adult. 14 is barely pushing being able to take care of oneself without parent supervision.

And even if a 14 year old did look like a adult. How long does it take to clue that she's not 18, because of the way she acts. Please no one say it was convincing acting lol.
 MsAnnThrope
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 65
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/10/2006 7:47:23 PM
^^^I am shocked at witnessing the open and egregious act of "tutting" another on a public forum. SHOCKED, I tell you!
 SherylTx34
Joined: 1/7/2006
Msg: 66
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/10/2006 7:50:53 PM
as fast as you can!
 Sniggy
Joined: 12/9/2005
Msg: 67
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/10/2006 8:12:26 PM
Forget him because you would always wonder. I would say quit defending him too unless you were right there with him the whole time the incident occured because what if he told you he likes sneaking into little girls rooms and molesting them.
 Eve2006
Joined: 1/1/2006
Msg: 68
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/10/2006 8:21:50 PM
I suppose he told you that he didn't do it; he is innocent! Right! As a survivor of child molestation and an adult survivor of incest, I have one thing to say!

Kick his sorry ass out of your life!

The only reason he told you that he is a sex offender is because he had to register, and someone else would have told you sooner, or later!

How would you feel if you stayed with him, and later on down the road, you found out that he had molested your sister, your neighbor's child, your friend's children! There is no known cure for these people! They don't just quit doing that! They are sick, sick, sick!

Wake up! I believe you know what the right thing is to do; otherwise, you wouldn't have brought it up!

Or, maybe you made the whole thing up for attention. If that's true, then you are the sick one!
 Eve2006
Joined: 1/1/2006
Msg: 69
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/10/2006 8:25:24 PM
He didn't have sex with her! How do you know that? Because he told you so? Ya, right!

One does not have to have SEX with their victim in order to be a molester! I was still a virgin after I was molested; there was no penetration!

Sounds like Clinton. We did not have SEX. No, she only gave him BJs. Yuck!

Well, you'll do what you want, and it sounds like you've got your mind made up. Too bad for you!
 virgogidget
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 70
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Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/10/2006 9:03:07 PM
Im actually with msg 12 on this. they were at a bar drinking ok if this girl looked 14 how was she allowed into the bar,my daugther has always looked older than she is also acted mature for her age, he opened up and told u about his past knowing he could lose u. this isnt the first time ive heard a simular story to this, and at 23 young men are very sexual and drinking he wouldnt be in right frame of mind.plz understand i am not making excuses for him but i can see how this could happen and they sure start young these days(i dont agree with that either but it is a fact)You said his been good to u and u had no problems. I know the word sex offender everyone thinks the worst re rape or children. he could of kept his mouth shut and not of told u, but he didnt he was honest enough to tell u. check it out at the court and sit down and talk to him about it openly. we all have pasts and i think his paying for his night mistake plus the jail term if there is more to it at the court or if his done it b4 yes end it and dont look back, but if this was a one off be course of them drinking then the past is the past why didnt she speak up?
 virgogidget
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 71
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Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/10/2006 9:06:31 PM
Also here in australia on the gold coast the girls look older than 14 they sure dont look like little girls
 Eve2006
Joined: 1/1/2006
Msg: 72
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/10/2006 9:07:57 PM
I guess if a guy meets a hot chick in a bar, he should ask for her ID, huh?
 Reenie999
Joined: 11/7/2005
Msg: 73
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/10/2006 9:20:13 PM
[ Somehow there must be more to this story. How does one end up on the list of sexual offenders if he never engaged in sexual activity with a minor? ]


It depends on the state.....in some states he could have been the 18 yr old fiance of a 16 yr old and gone to prison if her parents pressed charges.
 virgogidget
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 74
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Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/10/2006 9:57:06 PM
my friends and i got into nightclubs when we were that age, yes maybe girls should have to have id cards but then i guess they would use fake ones. the only way u are going to find out the truth is to go and read the paperwork yourself not just phone them
 krunge
Joined: 12/30/2005
Msg: 75
Registered Sex Offender?!?
Posted: 1/10/2006 10:57:12 PM
MOGRL is so right, a girl can make herself look older, many years ago I had a relationship with a girl I meet in a night club, she was 5'10" tall and eighd at least 150 pounds and a decent C cup if an inch, I went out with her every night for a month, was going great till she told me she was on holidays from New Zealand and was her intention to screw a different guy every day she was away, I ruined her average, and dumped her when I found out I meet her on the 14th day, she was 14 and looked 20/23 if she looked a day, and yes the sex was fantastic. This did not make me a sexual preditor (I was one before I meet her) I wanted sex and from anyone anywhere, age made no difference, I was a tour bus driver in Europe, there was a smorgosboard of females on every trip for the taking, yes life was good. I just came back from a 2 week business trip of a european country and had a 17 yr intrepreter, slept in the same room, never touched her, because there was not the feeling that indicates its available
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