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 cuter_than_anyone
Joined: 10/28/2005
Msg: 36
The WOMAN's Role!: The MAN's Role!Page 5 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
i think that sounds nice and natural, mary. each of you being appreciative of what the other provides.

i'm sure you wouldn't catch your husband calling you lazy or being bitter about you staying home. you're very lucky. i had a situation like that in the past


Percentages and relationships . . . . the next discussion should be about ratios and religion. Why not? It makes as much sense.


i agree. i think it works best when things fall into place naturally and no one keeps score
 cuter_than_anyone
Joined: 10/28/2005
Msg: 39
The WOMAN's Role!: The MAN's Role!
Posted: 1/11/2006 9:44:59 AM
you're welcome, mary

strings, what do you mean to their advantage? if by advantage you mean necessity then ok. but by simply trying to get over and doing what needs to be done, how is this some power play?
 cuter_than_anyone
Joined: 10/28/2005
Msg: 41
The WOMAN's Role!: The MAN's Role!
Posted: 1/11/2006 11:40:25 AM
if think women are liars, then why on earth are you on a dating site? masochistic much?

so you think because i asked my boyfriend to help me move my washer into my basement that i am a user or a liar or trying to have it both ways?

you've never had a friend help you out with for example a move? i'd tend not to believe you cause that's what friends and family are for. it's got nothing to do with this imagined slight you're feeling
 cuter_than_anyone
Joined: 10/28/2005
Msg: 44
The WOMAN's Role!: The MAN's Role!
Posted: 1/11/2006 12:17:55 PM
ok, i misread your post and thought you said you didn't see much honesty in women. sorry.

no one is perfect and i think you're trying to change the subject as you have avoided my question. so have you asked people for any type of help? if you have, why is it ok for you to do it and not women?

i happen to think your perspective is a little c0ck-eyed and unfair. i also won't hear that you think because i had my boyfriend and dad help move my furniture into my apartment, yet i manage to maintain a full time job, that i'm somehow less than you or any other man.

ate up
 cuter_than_anyone
Joined: 10/28/2005
Msg: 51
The WOMAN's Role!: The MAN's Role!
Posted: 1/11/2006 12:44:58 PM
i don't get the percentages thing either. sometimes someone can only give 0 sometimes they give it all. peaks and valleys and such

i'm also seeing a superhero complex becoming a trend here. this just in..........most normal PEOPLE (be they men or women) will chose a partner for the companionship, etc. not because they can reach things on high shelves and lift heavy furniture.

good women don't need to be rescued. you should look at jazzhomie's posts in one of the million nice guy threads. like attracts like
 cuter_than_anyone
Joined: 10/28/2005
Msg: 53
The WOMAN's Role!: The MAN's Role!
Posted: 1/11/2006 12:47:57 PM
i'll admit, sometimes i can't give it all. sometimes when the bills are due and payday is a week away i don't have the emotional strength to pet my cat. most of the time this isn't the case but an understanding partner will make that up for you.

it's nice when things just work that way
 cuter_than_anyone
Joined: 10/28/2005
Msg: 62
The WOMAN's Role!: The MAN's Role!
Posted: 1/11/2006 12:54:09 PM
i'm not attacking either ms. picky or carol

needing alone time isn't taking away from the relationship. the cool thing happens when your sweetie says, ok baby, call me later and is TOTALLY ok with alone time. since i suck at math i can't work out the % thing this is but i know when i feel stressed and need some time off my SO understands and doesn't wig and vice versa. during those times i KNOW i'm not giving my all
 cuter_than_anyone
Joined: 10/28/2005
Msg: 67
The WOMAN's Role!: The MAN's Role!
Posted: 1/11/2006 1:04:55 PM
i totally agree carol, in fact i had mentioned that very thing earlier.

although i'm not convinced that if someone gave me all of their all they'd be worth having. they should give plenty of that all to themselves and others too.

that could get tiring

i just like having someone who likes what i do have to offer and i like what they have to offer and we both make sacrifices and compromises and doesn't mind if i get moody and selfish from time to time and actually likes that very human side of me
 cuter_than_anyone
Joined: 10/28/2005
Msg: 76
The WOMAN's Role!: The MAN's Role!
Posted: 1/11/2006 1:14:28 PM
i don't think i've ever given my absolute all. but i've tried my best so far
 cuter_than_anyone
Joined: 10/28/2005
Msg: 82
The WOMAN's Role!: The MAN's Role!
Posted: 1/11/2006 1:20:52 PM

I'm gonna hit the rest room now and give it my 100% now...brb


wrong. funny but wrong

 cuter_than_anyone
Joined: 10/28/2005
Msg: 85
The WOMAN's Role!: The MAN's Role!
Posted: 1/11/2006 1:32:20 PM
actually, i think we all may be on the same page here
 cuter_than_anyone
Joined: 10/28/2005
Msg: 87
The WOMAN's Role!: The MAN's Role!
Posted: 1/11/2006 1:41:22 PM
ha!

that was pretty funny considering your love of toilet humor
 Pandy
Joined: 11/11/2006
Msg: 89
The WOMAN's Role!: The MAN's Role!
Posted: 1/11/2006 2:41:46 PM
WELL personally, if someone has to put a number figure on each others roles????? that's why there are so many darn problems with relationships.....do what you want to, what you care to, based on your love, your respect for and your caring for that person, and a number will never have to be thought of...it will be just done unconditionally.

you put 100% of what you have into a relationship, and chances are she will do the same if it is to go anywhere, then you can say it's 100%/100% and live a great life together.


well put.
I was raised without gender boundaries, and I'm thankful for that.
Each couple should work out beforehand who is responsible for what and when, and then let the dynamic of the relationship acheive it's own rhythm. If both care and are willing to be thoughtful toward the other, it will never be an issue at all.

I don't mind mowing the lawn if he wants to cook...as long as I'm not doing ALL the chores on my own, but then I'd never be with anyone who was lazy and didn't share my work ethic.
I also hate it when couples keep scoreboards. If they aren't contributing and pulling their weight voluntarily, I'd just as soon have them go. I won't nag to get stuff done, I'll do it myself.
 TheLadyOfTheLake
Joined: 2/5/2005
Msg: 93
The WOMAN's Role!: The MAN's Role!
Posted: 1/11/2006 7:00:14 PM
In a good, equal, and positive relationship there are no roles except for what each couple makes for themselves based on each individual's needs, talents, goals, experiences, and desires. And the dynamics change with each new relationship too. Why does society think they have to cast people in "roles" anyway? When we're living alone, we do ALL the "roles" without any "gender bias" .......... combining them is one of the fun parts of learning how to live happily while being together!
 Ldygmr
Joined: 12/19/2005
Msg: 103
The WOMAN's Role!: The MAN's Role!
Posted: 1/13/2006 6:57:30 PM
It is the womans role to be beautiful and kind and provocative and it is the Man's role to worship her daily with talented and enthusiastic applications of mouth and various other body parts.
 PaminSD
Joined: 2/25/2012
Msg: 109
The WOMAN's Role!: The MAN's Role!
Posted: 8/4/2012 6:36:19 AM
My dream relationship would be where the man was the primary bread winner, I worked part time, and took care of the kids and him, and the inside of the house, although I love yard work. In my past relationship, the ex was very lazy, didnt work, and did not help out at all. I love traditional roles for relationships, but just do not think that is available anymore.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 110
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History
The WOMAN's Role!: The MAN's Role!
Posted: 8/4/2012 7:19:53 AM
"now expected to be an equal split with everything: including finances, household tasks, and raising a family?"

"The gay/lesbian community would be either confused or offended by the question."

As would the non gays who are committed to not having a family to raise.

I find it the reaction by some people amusing when they find out that myself and my friends decided decades ago not to have children. They get very confused and can't get their minds around the idea that anyone, let alone many people don't want any part of the expectation of living a lifestyle of raising children.
 Zuglo65
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 111
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History
The WOMAN's Role!: The MAN's Role!
Posted: 8/4/2012 8:31:07 AM
Roles? ROLES???..Sounds so..um...I can't think of the words.
Couple should help each other out, without claiming what is who's role.
Maybe she is better at something than her man, so she should do it, but than there has to be something that her man is better at, so he should do it.
In my case, her"role" would be cooking. My "role' is to help her with that, and with the clean up.
If she sees a bug, her role is to scream, and jump on a chair, my role is to relocate that bug.
 mcwr
Joined: 3/24/2009
Msg: 114
The WOMAN's Role!: The MAN's Role!
Posted: 8/4/2012 9:24:32 AM
Traditional roles exist for a reason. When a woman is pregnant or caring for small children, it makes sense that the man should provide for his family during this time. But for any other periods, there is no reason for a woman to not work.

Further, "chivalry" is nonsense. Why should a man pay for a woman's food on a "date", when he doesn't even know her, she has a job, and can easily pay for her own food/drinks? Women that want to stay at home and not work or have everything paid for simply because they have a vagina are living in a fantasy world. Of course there are a number of men that will tolerate this situation, but they are being used rather than being with a woman based on mutual desire.
 starlight334
Joined: 6/18/2010
Msg: 115
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History
The WOMAN's Role!: The MAN's Role!
Posted: 8/4/2012 11:08:09 AM
Ok, here we go again...:-)

A women desire to have babies and make a family is deeply hardwired. As a man I cannot "compete" with that.
No matter how much I want to have kids it will hard for me to overcome a woman desire to have a baby.
The score is 1000 - 71....at most I can score. :-) and I am defeated. No matter how much I want or "accept" to have kids with a woman that is not my DREAM. The fact I love a women does not mean I want bbay with her necesarily.
Asking me to have babies because I love her it is just an acceptance game maybe...still not my dream.

So and therefore when you have a deep desire to do or have something it means you will be the one to put the more effort in it. And that deep desire will help you to do the thing.
If my desire to have kids is not as high then yours then it won't work the "sharing" thing. We know what is the "trick" to get pregnant and push the man into a direction he did not choose. The big decisions of life cannot be made at "orgasm time"....and if someone expects that then that person is either an idiot or a dictator.

In most of the relationships the woman want kids fiercly and the man says OK. Now from here to expect the man to be involved above head into what it mean household......that is hahaha. And there is no such thing like Ok find a woman who does not want kids ... because that is exceptional. By the way I have a kid but not because I wanted it, it happened. Yes I took responsability but tshe did the housework. End of the story. She did not have to cook for me or do stuff after me because I was working in another city anyways...she had to take care of the baby. It was her dream....I mean "code".

The more you expect man to share "woman dreams" the more you will force them to do what they don't want....? Huh ? For how long would people kiss ass ?

What is going on out there is a fight for men to get sex and a trap for them to get involved into a adream which is not "native" to them. It may work or it may not. A man attachement to a kid comes a bit later...and it is not the second week.
Sure I noticed the word "compromise" oversused. How much you compromise ?......I like soccer and drag you with me to the soccerfield over and over again till you puke. Will you like it ? Will you compromise ? Should I ask you to compromise ?...in the name of love ?

Don't push people to do what they don't want. It is asking for trouble and each trouble may be a little bit different. Sooner or later issues will popup even through the concrete.

Every day askyourself...How much is enough ?
 the_biggavell
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 116
The WOMAN's Role!: The MAN's Role!
Posted: 8/4/2012 2:51:36 PM
^^^ well said. i agree wholeheartly. besides. there is nothig i this world that works when 50/50 is working. and if both were to give 100 of themself to the other. that leaves 0 percent and 200 % that also doesnt exist.
 the_biggavell
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 117
The WOMAN's Role!: The MAN's Role!
Posted: 8/4/2012 2:53:52 PM
i like that men are starting to wake up again. the nerve of some of these women is out of this world. women are constantly trying to battle. nature on a constant basis
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 119
The WOMAN's Role!: The MAN's Role!
Posted: 8/4/2012 6:42:45 PM
happening(d1006677)- I have lost track of how many times I've said on POF that the key to success in a relationship is compromise.
No two people are alike, so what has to take place is being honest with each other in what you want from one another.
I don't think it about percentages.
I'll give an example:
I love to cook, I hate dishes. If I cook and the man is willing to do dishes, I'll cook A LOT. If he hates doing dishes too, I would say ok, but I'm going to cook less and we will HAVE to take turns doing dishes.
Mutual respect is also key. If there is something about me someone just can't deal with, they need to be honest and move on, likewise with me.
In a nutshell, to me, a good relationship is a partnership, mutual respect and give and take. I'm not a score keeper, as long as we are both happy and communicating if we aren't, listen and compromise to make each other happy, that's all that matters.
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