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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Would you marry someone just because they are rich ?[closed]      Home login  
Joined: 6/3/2006
Msg: 225
Would you marry someone just because they are rich ?Page 28 of 33    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33)
Actually just had this conversation with a friend of mine and how much money is really enough. What does a person consider rich in a financial sense?
Joined: 6/26/2006
Msg: 226
Would you marry someone just because they are rich ?
Posted: 6/27/2006 12:04:14 AM
i wanted to marry someone just becauseshe is rich.
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 227
view profile
Would you marry someone just because they are rich ?
Posted: 6/27/2006 10:21:19 PM
NO. That's what Lotto is for--to hit the megabucks for yourself!!!!!!
Joined: 3/10/2006
Msg: 228
Would you marry someone just because they are rich ?
Posted: 6/27/2006 11:14:12 PM
[sarcasm byte on] Marry for money? Never - just live with him/her for a few years and sue for palimony... no pre-nup on shacking up! [/sarcasm byte off]
Joined: 7/12/2005
Msg: 229
Would you marry someone just because they are rich ?
Posted: 6/28/2006 12:33:35 AM
Ok ok ok... are we talking millions... or billions here????
Joined: 6/29/2006
Msg: 230
Would you marry someone just because they are rich ?
Posted: 6/29/2006 7:38:58 PM
I think plenty of people throughout history have not married for love. And I think its ok.

In the old days when there were castles and knights, people had to get married because thats the only way most people could survive. Being single wasn't that much of a choice back then. You were kind of limited to who was your age, who was geographically close to you and who might improve your standard of living.

In all honesty, marrying for love is a luxury that humans have created. A person can survive as a single person in modern time. Might not be easy, but then again its not like there are invading knights storming the castle either.

I think it depends on the circumstances. In the movie, As Good As It Gets, Helen Hunt had a very sick son, a dead end job and almost no hope for the future. If she married strictly for money ( and lets be honest, thats all Nicholsons character could really offer in some ways) then I would not blame her. But even if she was rich herself and married for money, its her life, its her choice.

I think a better question might be - "Would You Marry Someone Despite The Fact That They Live In Poverty?" I think that question might be more telling about love, finances and society.
Joined: 12/27/2005
Msg: 231
view profile
Would you marry someone just because they are rich ?
Posted: 6/29/2006 8:37:08 PM
I think McGordon raises an important point.
In a lot of the world, arranged marriages is still very much the norm. Being strictly a business arrangement between families where love has little to do with it.
It's only in our modern western world that the idea of finding a " true love " from a multitude of possibilities is taken as normal. And, I think it's obvious that we arn't very good at it.
As far as marrying a poor person ?
How many little girls fantasize about being Sleeping Beauty and wakened by the kiss of a hansom janitor ?
Joined: 7/12/2005
Msg: 232
Would you marry someone just because they are rich ?
Posted: 6/29/2006 8:53:10 PM
I"m still waiting for someone to tell me HOW rich this person is that I'd have to marry....
Joined: 6/29/2006
Msg: 233
Would you marry someone just because they are rich ?
Posted: 7/2/2006 4:15:33 PM
Marriage has nothing to do with love. Not one single thing.

Two people can be together and love each other and not be married. Marriage is a legal union where assets and rights can be regulated by the state and federal government. Think not? Get divorced. Watch the government tell you how often you can see your kids, who your kids get to live with and how much you have to pay for their upkeep.

That doesn't mean two people in love don't get married in many cases, but marriage itself has nothing to do with love.

As for rich men, I think there are several misconceptions about many of them. Not all of them are controlling power freaks who want you to arrange the table place settings a certain way or they will beat you with a tire iron for it.

Here the truth. Many rich men are hesitant to marry poor women. It happens, but not as frequently as you think. Why? Because those who were poor once, then became rich later in life, are rich precisely for the reason that they don't jump into a business arrangement headfirst without considering the financial ramifications. Marriage is a business deal, its a legal arrangement between two people and the state. Sure rich guys who were born rich do silly things with their money, but guys who had to bleed for it are generally very cautious. You have to understand that once you have money, you are surrounded by people like lawyers, accountants, financial advisors, doctors, employees, etc who all have a vested interest in protecting your wealth. If you lose your money, they lose their work with you.

Spend an hour talking to a very good lawyer or CPA who have a vested interest in the security of your wealth and I think you'd have some very different views on marriage in general. You take 70 percent of the risk and up to 70 percent of the total liability. Even most Vegas odds are not that heavily stacked against you.

I hate to be harsh, but you can't just look at it as why should I marry a rich person, you have to look at it as why should a rich person want to marry you as well. The perception involved works both ways. And more often, very few people are in the position to marry a rich person. You have to be within someones social context to even be physically present to have the opportunity to connect on an emotional level. A schoolteacher in the inner city of NY is not going to have many opportunities to mingle and socialize with the old money guys boozing it up in the Hamptons. Rich guys find young hot women because many young hot women put themselves in physical proximity of those rich guys. Look at the list above, Robin Williams married his former nanny. She was probably not someone you'd think he would marry, but she had proximity and access to him on levels that most women, even the hot young supermodels, did not have.

As for the " I am not for sale " issue, well I think you have to look at that alot deeper. Everyone, rich or poor, has to take some shit in life. Many people here go to a job where they are underappreciated, probably underpaid and maybe even treated like shit. Working in corporate America today can be the most degrading thing you will ever do in your life for many. But people take it right? Sure, you gotta eat, you gotta pay the light bill. Whether you realize it or not, you are 'selling' a level of tolerance you may not normally have in you to keep your job. And if you have kids, you might be taking some serious crap at work because you are 'selling' aspects of how you are treated just so your kids can keep getting medical care. Even if you are rich, you have to take peoples crap. You'd be surprised at the born rich who can do what they want in life then have to go get dressed down and yelled at by their super rich parents. Yeah they get to live in a mansion but everyone has to 'whore' a little bit of themselves to have the things in life they want or need. Sure no one wants to think they are morally flexible because of money, but if you've ever worked a day in your life at a crappy job and a shitty boss, then you have 'sold', even if only temporary, a part of yourself for the things in life that you need.

My rule is this - No Hard Fast Rules. What works for you isn't going to work for everyone, and if its not you involved, then you might want to take a moment of pause before you truly understand the dynamic of another persons relationships - and this applies whether they are rich or poor.
Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 234
Would you marry someone just because they are rich ?
Posted: 7/3/2006 2:22:33 PM
yes even if she is really ugly , as long as she worships me and the gas I expel
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 235
Would you marry someone just because they are rich ?
Posted: 7/3/2006 4:02:34 PM
In my younger years, I would had said no.....

Today? Talking the Donald Trump kinda of rich? The answer is YES YES YES.....Those men have money, and power,,,which to me makes them extremely attractive.

Ladies, would you rather be in bed with a man you feel you love,,,,,he has no money, you have no food,,,and your stomach is growling???????? Really!!!!!

When you have money, you can do anything, go anywhere........

How is it that all the professional baseball, and football guys, CEO's, etc have drop dead gorgeous women????? I wouldn't suppose that has anything to do with money????????
Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 236
Would you marry someone just because they are rich ?
Posted: 7/3/2006 4:08:39 PM
Yes woman follow the money , that is why they lose me on their trail.
Joined: 7/3/2006
Msg: 237
Would you marry someone just because they are rich ?
Posted: 7/3/2006 8:37:06 PM
I think us guys need to start finding rich women, it seems to me women have no problem with that.It's pretty damn sad.women claim to be indpendant and want to be equal but, not when it comes to money.
Joined: 6/29/2006
Msg: 238
Would you marry someone just because they are rich ?
Posted: 7/4/2006 6:06:43 PM

Your theory would of course explain why animals in the wild choose the strongest and best providers to mate with?

I mean look at lions out in the wild. The biggest and the strongest gets laid. Because he can protect his harem of lionesses and provide them with the best genes avaliable to them. The rest of the lions, the ones who are not at the top of the heap? Those guys just wait on the bench like a bunch of second string scrubs.

A mans wealth and material possessions is his ability to provide safety and security for his mate. Its why many rich guys get laid no matter how rancid they are.

To deny the appeal of monetary wealth by a potential mate is probably the most 'unnatural' things you'll ever really see. Sure no one wants to say " I want money " out loud because they don't want to look like a whore. But who cares what they say, look at what they do. And what many women do is actively pursue wealthy men as mates.
 greeneyedblonde and CSI
Joined: 6/3/2005
Msg: 239
Would you marry someone just because they are rich ?
Posted: 7/4/2006 6:18:19 PM
No and no..I could not marry someone who is rich, doesn't matter to me, the amount of money they have..I want someone who is compatible with me on ALL levels..but yes, they have to work though..I don't care at what, just have a job ...

Joined: 6/29/2006
Msg: 240
Would you marry someone just because they are rich ?
Posted: 7/4/2006 9:12:46 PM
I said -

"Because he can protect his harem of lionesses and provide them with the best genes avaliable to them."

I didn't say the male lion was out there bringing home the bacon. I said his appeal is his strength and HIS GENES. Since hes the tough and strong lion, his genes are predisposed to produce lions just like him. Future tough and strong lions who will follow in their fathers footsteps. Yes the male lion does not have to hunt for food, because he provides a COMMODITY that negates his need to hunt for food. The female lions desire his good GENES enough to hunt for him.

When a woman mates with a man and desires to procreate, you think she doesn't account for his GENES? The issue of disability/handicap or mental illness through genes? The disposition to be tall or short? The disposition to be handsome like their father was? The disposition to be strong and healthy like good old dad? The disposition to be intelligent and be a good provider?

As for the issue of divorce, some people (included noted scientists and researchers) have argued MARRIAGE ITSELF IS NOT NATURAL. The idea of one man and one woman together monogamously for an extended period of time. And maybe its not, then again that sure would explain the divorce rate to some degree wouldn't it?

As for me looking for a 'trophy wife', you know what? I respect your right to your opinion and your pursuit of whatever makes you happy on this short time on Earth. I'll never begrudge another man that. But I think many men have it all wrong about the money/sex/dating equation.

If you want a very good looking young healthy fertile woman, you are going to have to compete to get her. Thats just reality. Plenty of other guys want her too. This explains why in high schools, all the guys wanted to nail the same ten girls. Who tends to get the girls in high school? Athletes, often successful ones. Those who are popular socially. Those with money. Those who might be the first to have their own vehicle. THOSE WHO SET THEMSELVES AS UNIQUE FROM THE PACK.

So to get the highly desired woman, you are gonna have to spend. Spend financially or emotionally or timewise or all three, but it will cost you. Thats the cost of outcompeting the other males after her. If a girl has that many options, how can you realistically hope to get her without outcompeting all the other guys who want to nail her? What you see in movies about the poor dumb sweet guy getting the babe is just movie magic. Happens but not very often. More power to the those rare souls who do get that.

Yes some women are golddiggers. But they arent golddiggers just because they want your money. They are golddiggers because they want your MONEY WITHOUT ANY EXCHANGE OF VALUE ON THEIR PART. Plenty of rich guys have no problem supporting women financially as long as they feel that they are getting something of value ( be it sex, be it company, be it conversation, be it ego stroking, be it prestige socially, etc etc) Thats why some very rich men have some decidely average looking wives. Those women know how to appeal to a rich mans sense of VALUE. Not his sense of wealth.

What do very rare and desired sports cars cost? A whole hell of lot of cash. Why? Because there aren't many of them and lots of people want them but can't afford them. The rarer something is, and the demand is there, the odds are you will have to spend well to get it. Look at the diamond industry. They are just rocks, but the demand, the monopoly on the supply and the rarity ( or supposed rarity) drives up the cost. Good looking young healthy women are in demand, there aren't as many of them around compared to the total number of women and they monopolize the commodity of who they decide to sleep with.

I personally, have no problem spending money to pursue and date young healthy good looking women who are potential long term mates. Because I understand that while you or many others may not find VALUE in them, they in themselves will always be in demand and cost more to attain and keep around. You dont get something for nothing in life. You can't just pretend that the numerous other suitors will just magically go away if you really want the girl. If you or others decide you either A) Will not bear the cost to pursue the highly desired women or B) Cannot bear the cost to pursue the highly desired women either way, I totally respect that. I respect your life and your choices and your right to be happy with this life that is far too short. Just remember to RESPECT mine as well.

So call me a Sugar Daddy if you want. I don't care. My electricity bill doesn't go up one cent and there are gonna be no sleepless nights because you, some stranger on the Internet, don't personally approve of me. I see what I want and I pursue it relentlessly. If I have to spend to get it and I want it, so what, you die one day and that money means nothing in the grave. Now I do think people should be fiscally practical and spend within their means and be cautious of liability, but WE ALL DIE IN THE END, and so a rich guy who dies with his entire fortune in the bank screwed his life up. Because he didn't use that money to enrich his life and those he loved while he was still alive.

And guess what, the guy who knows what he wants and goes after what he wants has a good chance of getting the girl. WOMEN LOVE CONFIDENCE AND THEY LOVE THE CHASE. They want to know, especially the most desirable ones, that you want them and you will do what it takes to get them. Men who don't want to spend on the most desired women as a practical choice are just practical guys, not everyone wants to spend or has the resources to spend. Men who think its offensive that they have to spend at all ( and not just money but time and effort and emotions) to get the most desired women just don't have any concept of value. Thats because they think they can get something for nothing. Or are upset because they can't.

I never listen to what people say ( although there are good and decent and honest people in the world who can enrich your life, I will never deny that) but I watch what they do. Theres a reason why young good looking healthy women date wealthy men. Or do you think that blonde bombshell Nordic supermodel who married Tiger Woods would have done so if he was a busboy? Whether you think its fair or not, thats how it works, thats how the dating world works. Too many people get hung up whether its right or wrong, instead of just deciding whether they want to get in the game or not.

When I find something I want, something that means something valuable and powerful to my life, I just go after it with everything I've got. I spend what it takes to get what means something of value to me. If that means you want to label me 100 different things, go ahead. I can still respect your way of life even if you don't respect mine. Because my happiness is not contingent on your approval.

I have maybe 30 to 40 good years left on this Earth. I'm going to go after what I think will bring me happiness and make me a better man. I'll do anything to get it. So I can look back on my life with no regrets. Rich men don't fear they will die poor, when they die that money means nothing, they fear they will die before they have 'enriched' their lives to its fullest.

Happy 4th to you iwarrior, I hope you find everything you hope and dream for in this life. Its just too bad though you can't seem to extend to me the same.
Joined: 2/25/2006
Msg: 241
Would you marry someone just because they are rich ?
Posted: 7/4/2006 11:47:47 PM
If you even think about that, you should grow the fock up. Learn what your good at (if anythihg) and pursue that. You are a sorry loser of a human if you think someone else is going to carry your whining sorry ass through this journey.... YES.... JOURNEY..... we call life. Its a struggle for a reason, the reason is different for differnt people. Its up to you to figure it out. Money is paper.
 Lost Guru
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 242
Would you marry someone just because they are rich ?
Posted: 7/5/2006 3:35:31 AM
Would you marry someone just because they are rich ?

Many women do.......
Joined: 6/14/2005
Msg: 243
view profile
Would you marry someone just because they are rich ?
Posted: 7/5/2006 5:45:21 AM
i bet if you put youre profile on here...put youre pic in front of a big house...nice sports care...a big boat...and if you posted the same profil with out thoes pic you would get 50 times the e-mail from women...
Joined: 6/29/2006
Msg: 244
Would you marry someone just because they are rich ?
Posted: 7/5/2006 10:10:12 AM

Fair enough.

I do appreciate your advice and your honesty. I'm sorry to hear about your wife who had passed away, but you had a great 24 years with her and you loved her, and you probably would give up every cent you had now to have her back. I think thats great that you had that time together to have someone enrich your life.

And you are right, the wealthy learn to not often advertise they are wealthy. It becomes complicated. And you are right with the age thing as well, I know plenty of older men, rich and poor, who have a hard time finding dates or even just basic companionship.

Heres the thing, at this point in my life, I am already independently wealthy and have been for quite a few years now. I don't push out the specifics too much in my profile for some of the reasons you've stated, but I think I read some of these posts and I wonder where the perspective is coming from.

See most people aren't independently wealthy. Many people are one paycheck from getting the boot out of their own home. Doesn't mean they are not good and decent people. I know plenty of good people, rich and poor in life and plenty of bad people, rich and poor in life. But often a thread like this discusses the issue from the side of someone who hasn't amassed a great deal of wealth. Too often, its - Why should I marry a rich guy? Very few times do you hear the perspective of why should a rich guy marry you. I don't believe that I'm right or wrong in my views, they are just my convictions on what I believe, but I do think I do lend certain views as a rich guy to be honest.

I think part of the reason I amassed my wealth was I actually chose to not get married and have kids to this point. I know lots of people said I was cheating myself of a great experience and definitely missing out. But I own a law firm. That does alot of divorce work. Divorce is big business unfortunately for the hearts of many people out there. I also own a plumbing company. I'm surrounded all day by lawyers and accountants and advisors who have a vested interest in protecting my wealth ( I go under, they lose a job) I think I learned alot about the issue of love and marriage and relationships by seeing divorce from a whole different perspective. Here I am actually making a profit off of peoples misery and inability to escape a financial obligation punishable by incarceration. It made me think alot. Also having a company where you are knee deep in shit alot makes you think about the issue of human nature and love. Most of my friends are divorced now. Don't see their kids. Lost their homes. Lost not only a major portion of their assets but also valuable years of their life in stress and suffering. A friend of mine lost his job, was divorced, couldn't see his kids and was probably going to go to jail. He shot himself in the head. Never have I felt and seen something more powerful. To me after that, marriage equaled a certain death. Not just financially but emotionally.

Most of my posts probably discuss the issue of liability, certain aspects of the law and questions about finance. Its because thats what I deal with all day long. Its how I see things or have to see things to make my businesses profitable and successful.

I'm retiring in less than 5 years, probably in less than 2 to be honest. I've been lucky as you've said you have been and gotten a few good bounces financially in life. I wasn't born with the money, I bled for it the hard way. I think that also colors my views about rich men and the issue of marriage.

When I was younger I wanted love, or the kind of love you think you want when you are younger from what movies and books and pop culture teaches you about love. But I don't see it that way anymore. If a woman just wants my money but she makes me happy and my life is enriched because of it, it doesn't bother me. To me its an issue of whether I find a greater sense of value in my life with that person. And not just some bimbo on my arm at dinner parties to keep everyone impressed or just sex. A sense of value to me means that I feel that I am getting something in return that I feel makes me a better person even if its something most people would find distasteful for themselves.

I'm 35 now. I'm not old but I'm not exactly young anymore. My time is valuable to me. Sure I have the freedom with my time to pretty much do what I want now. If I want to leave the office and play Pac Man for a week, I can. But because I can doesn't mean my time will last forever on this Earth.

If I want to meet a girl, the distance issue doesn't bother me. I'll fly her in first class and put her up in a five star hotel and have a limo drive her around. If I can afford it, why not? At some level its just money, I have it to spend and I can always and do make more of it. Money is not the be all end all, but its a tool. If you don't use it to make your life easier and give you more options, then its like a tool that leave unsharpened and unused. I know most men don't have the options I have, so I use those options to give me more options. I'm not looking to 'buy' a woman. I'm looking to 'buy' myself the option of not letting the issue of money interfere with actually meeting good people. And back to gold diggers, a very young health good looking woman with a career and education is something worth spending on in my book. Some of them are just gold diggers sure, but some are actually women who know what lines not to push and have a sense of their own value in the dating world.

People like to label. They want to believe all rich guys are old bald geezers who can't get it up and have to overpay for sex. But they also want to believe all golddiggers are blonde bombshells who can't put together a four word sentence. I don't see it that way. I watch what happens at my law firm ( that being said, please no one at POF ask me for an attorney or specific legal advice or accesss to specific legal advice, thanks) , plenty of gold diggers come in all shapes, sizes and attitudes. A family making 40 thousand a year combined where the wife cheats, files for divorce, takes the kid, and half the mans assets to me is a gold digger. If I lost half my assets, I'd still live well. For a guy just getting by with what he had to start with to lose half is devastating.

An aging overweight single mother with no career options and a bunch of unruly kids is a bigger gold digger to me both financially and emotionally than a woman who likes to go to nice restaurants and decides she wants to explore the world where money is not a barrier.

I respect you onceloved, I think you said what you said for my benefit with honesty and I do very much appreciate that. As an older guy, you were just looking to lend perspective and insight to a younger buck. Thats not common these days and I think its very cool. I guess all I can say is while people not agree with me or understand my views, I can, at least in this thread, give some different perspectives about how a wealthy guy would see the issue of being rich and being married. As a wealthy guy, I know a bunch of other single wealthy guys, just works that way and lots of them feel the way I do.

Anyway, whether someone is rich or poor here, I really do wish them the best of luck with whatever they are looking for in this life. No Hard Fast Rules.
Joined: 6/29/2006
Msg: 245
Would you marry someone just because they are rich ?
Posted: 7/5/2006 9:02:31 PM

What about being smart, funny, interesting, compassionate? You only think in terms of wealth and status. It's classist.

There was a nice quote from Brian DePalma's The Untouchables - "You can get further with a kind word and a gun than you can with just a kind word. "

You can get further with being smart, funny, interesting, compassionate and rich than you can get with being all those things and not be rich. I'm not saying its fair, I'm not saying its right, I'm saying thats how the real world works.

I begrudge men who see women as potential pieces of property and feel that their wealth makes them more deserving of a woman's love than anyone else.

I don't see women as pieces of property. I see that some women set themselves apart from the pack. Some have a head start with their beauty, and some work hard and put themselves in a position to set themselves apart. Not everyone is Angelina Jolie, even beautiful women have to work at looking their best and maximizing what makes them appealing. If an already beautiful woman is willing to work out and take care of her diet and health to help her quality of life and possible attract a better mate but an overweight single mother waitress won't work out and can't find attract a better mate, whose fault is that?

Its too easy to say some are born with it and some are not. People work at it. Even womens talk shows do this, they take women out of the crowd and give them makeovers and show them how much more appealing they can make themselves to potential mates. Its true in life - if you do nothing, don't be surprised if you get nothing. Not everything falls into the laps of beautiful women at their whim, many have to work at their appeal. They have to work at maintaining their appeal. They have to work at improving their quality of life.

Can alot of women say that? The ones who cry and moan about no one wanting them? Can they say if finding a mate was so important that they did everything possible to improve their chances of finding a good mate? You won't find them sitting at home watching Oprah and eating Pringles. You want something in life, you go out and get it.

You're right. After all, ya gotta work hard to buy that wife and outbid the other guys!!! It's like ebay!!!!

When someone dreams of a career as a kid, what do they do? They pursue it with all their heart. Society, schools, their parents, their friends all encourage them to do what it takes, work as hard as they can to achieve that goal. If a kid wants to be a doctor, hes gonna have to sacrifice things to study, he might have to go to a far away school to get a better chance to get into medical school, he might have to work all night long in a crap job to pay for his tuition. But sometimes thats what a person has to do to get that dream career. You have to outcompete people, this is no secret.

When you apply for a job, the company weighs out your resume with everyone elses. If its a job you want, you have to find a way to improve your education or experience or contacts or whatever you can to be more competitive to get that highly desired job. The kids who are willing to work and put in the effort are often rewarded, the kids who don't are not. It is that simple.

Life is all about competition in all things. Fair? Unfair? Its just the way it is.

And dating is going to be any different?

Fortune favors the bold.

No, I do have a concept of value.

Do you? Because you want to push this 'money doesn't matter at all' vibe. And thats just , to be honest, naive. No its not the most important thing in life, but its pretty high up on the list. But go on, watch the thousands of hardworking people in America who are one paycheck away from poverty or the street and tell them how being 'smart, funny, interesting, and compassionate' will give their kids a roof over their heads and food in their bellies.

I never said money is everything, but you seem to want to push that money is nothing, and thats just not the truth.

Nope. It's contingent on how fat your bank account is.

I'm willing to spend, if you aren't, thats your right and I respect it. I don't care how much money I spend, one day I will die and all that green paper will mean nothing. But it only MEANS NOTHING WHEN YOU ARE DEAD, WHEN YOU ARE ALIVE IT CAN BUY YOU THE FREEDOM AND OPTIONS TO IMPROVE YOUR LIFE. This is true for all people, rich, middle class and poor alike. There are plenty of poor and middle class people who are misers, they don't spend a dime to improve their lives, to make themselves happy, to try to get some moderation between practicality and just enjoying life. You don't have to be 'rich' to be a miser. And just because you are rich doesn't automatically make you a miser.

Sorry man, I feel like you are the one who is angry about how money works within our society and the reality it plays in the dating world. I never said it was fair. I just said its the way life works. I dont care how you spend your money, although you seem to care a whole hell of a lot how rich guys spend their money on women. Just dont confuse YOUR issues with money with MY views on what money means to relationships, marriage and dating. My views are not invalidated because they don't mean your ingrained ideal of what you think they should be.
Joined: 6/29/2006
Msg: 246
Would you marry someone just because they are rich ?
Posted: 7/6/2006 9:49:23 AM
I guess, to each his own. Gordy, I know you said that you go by what you see, not by what people say. Well, we all do. Each person's lens of reality is colored by that individual's belief system. We all see different parts of the same elephant, as they say. Maybe it's time for a paradigm shift.


I think part of the problem is the issue of money is often the pink elephant in the room. Its there, its an issue, but no one feels comfortable talking about it.

Try this -

You go to a party with a bunch of strangers. Whats the first thing they ask? You know what it is -

What do you do for a living?

They want to know what you do because its an informal way to gauge where you compare socio economically with that person. But you know what? No one really asks, right after the first question -

How much do you make doing what you do for a living?

Anyone find that odd?

That people do care about issues of money but they also care about not wanting to look like its important. But it is important. Thats the contradiction, thats the part people get befuddled on.

No woman is going to date you or stay with you ( well not many ) if you can't pay the rent, keep food on the table and keep the lights on.

But society says its rude to talk about money , its impolite, its not good to discuss it in many ways. I fail to see how that makes any sense at all. Money is a huge part of your quality of life, rich or poor. Its a huge part of how you can protect and provide for those you love and hold dear.

I grew up as an orphan. I don't think money is everything. I'd give up every cent I had right now to go back 30 years in time and have two parents in my life, rich or poor, who wanted to love and guide me. I would have liked that alot. But sometimes life doesn't give you what you want or even need, you just have to make the best out of it. So I appreciate a young beautiful vibrant healthy woman who is making an effort to improve her quality of life. Things don't always come easy to good looking women. But plenty of jealous women want to rag on them, calling them bimbos and sluts and gold diggers simply because rich guys are attracted to them.

Has anyone ever considered that alot of rich guys out there don't inherit it, they work hard, they suffer, they bleed for their money like everyone else? So why shouldn't they appreciate someone who appears to work hard and makes an effort to make a pleasant and attractive appearance? You don't have to be a supermodel to look good, plenty of women here could arguably do alot more to look better. And not just to attract men, but for themselves. When you take care of yourself, you are making a statement about how you feel about yourself, your own sense of self worth, your own sense of self confidence. Its not just a message to men, its a message to yourself.

Women say, why should I have to work out to attract a man? Why can't he accept me for me? Well I say, why cant you work out for yourself, for you own life, and that you happen to attract more men is a by product of doing something positive for yourself? Even if you didn't want men, working out would decrease your risk for many health issues including diabetes and heart disease.

Many rich men go the extra mile in their professional lives, I don't think its a big surprise that many of them will be attracted to women who go the extra mile in their own lives.

Its just too easy for people, too easy for them to write off rich people as if everything you see on TV and the movies is true. We are not all Scrooge McDuck. We are not all heartless materialistic **stards. Many of us give to charity and give our time and efforts to protect those who work for us. Last year I paid for the entire medical cost of expensive and complicated operations on two disadvantaged children whose parents did not have medical insurance. I didn't do it because I wanted to be the big man or wanted lavish praise from parents everywhere. I did it because I thought it was the right thing to do. Because I knew when I was a kid, and I was in that spot, I wished someone would do it for me. And I was gonna spend whatever it took to get those kids healthy. You think I was trying to buy those kids? Lots of rich guys do this kind of stuff. We just don't always talk about it. The same mentality that makes me give to children is the same that tells me if I like a girl, I'll spend to show her a good time and make her feel safe and cared for. You take the good with the bad.

Whether you are rich or poor, if you see something you want and you go after it, it will cost you. Maybe a little money, maybe some time, maybe a ton of effort. Not all the things that 'cost' you in life is just about money. But I think thats ok, things worth having and people worth having in your life don't come easy. Thats why they are worth something in the first place.
Joined: 6/29/2006
Msg: 247
Would you marry someone just because they are rich ?
Posted: 7/7/2006 5:21:01 PM
i mean i am just kinda wondering MR GORDON GECKO your just coming off a bit superficial which is fine to a degree.......but if you found a great girl of low income and but just avergae lookin not a bombshell woudl u be seen with her? cause seems like you wouldnt

Sure I would. A good person is a good person. I fundamentally believe there are very few truly good people in this life, so if you find them, for friends or otherwise, you cherish those relationships.

The reason I'm here instead of out on one of the beaches is I've tried conventional tactics, and while they work, they are generally very slow.

You meet someone in a grocery store or at the gym or at a friends party, you know nothing about them. They might be single. But they also might be out of a long relationship or have major commitments like school or family. They might have dealbreakers that rule you out, that you don't find out about until later. It often takes time to elicit these things. And issues like smoking and wanting children can be tricky to bring up tastefully and still find out for sure.

I figure if conventional tactics don't work, then go unconventional. (Look at Ebay, before that was created, people just had garage sales, someone decided to try an unconventional tactic not yet used online and look how its exploded. ) With online dating, you know the person is single or has a single mindset, they are looking or open to looking and you see the dealbreakers right up front. I guess that discourages people but I think thats great.

I WANT to be ELIMINATED by women in terms of potential interest. The earlier the better, the reason is , then I can focus on the ones that have some potential for me. Some people see rejections as pure rejection. I see it as filtering. Someone filters you out fast, they are saving you time and are doing you a favor. In the same way, I want the power to filter people out quickly. If you are looking for a job, you put out alot of applications and resumes. Many companies won't want you, law of averages, does that stop you from looking? From putting more resumes out? No, you keep going. You are not going to win them all and its not a reflection on you as a person. I fail to understand why people dont look at dating the same way. You are going to , in the short term, lose more than you win. But if you can find one long term win out of it all in the end, then the squeeze is worth the juice.

I'm a guy and men in general, online or not, have to face it. You have to be the pursuer and you will get more strikeouts than base hits and thats ok. Women are choosy for all kinds of reason and for no reason at all. The guys who succeed are the guys who already know that failure is possible but never acceptable. You just keep plugging.

So to answer your question - No, a financially poor woman or one of average looks would not bother me and would not bother other wealthy guys I know. We realize whats going on in the world around us. People are getting laid off, downsized and outsourced. Its hard out there. Not everyone in financial hell meant to be there, sometimes life happens. I think however I am concerned about a woman being emotionally and morally 'bankrupt' Thats the kind of poverty, a state of mind, a way of life, that no one can easily recover from. I think the best example would be from WW2, many people were sent to prison camps and death camps. Some resigned themselves to eventual death and laid down to die. Some took the time to get up each morning, make goals even if they were tiny ones and rubbed some spit in their hair, combed it with their fingers and straightened it out each morning. People who did that had nothing, no money, probably on the brink of death, but they were not emotionally bankrupt. Inside they were rich in a way no money could buy. They had something, a sense of self worth, no one can take from you. That kind of character, that kind of resolve is what all men look for, whether you are rich or poor.

Someone can be 'good looking' and not ultimately be 'attractive'. And there are plenty of people who are 'attractive' but may not be classically 'good looking' But the kind of person who is 'attractive' is the kind of person with the self worth to take care of themselves. An overweight person is often not 'good looking' and not 'attractive'. Good looks is not something you can always control, you are born with what you are born with. Attractiveness however is something you can work on. If someone is really heavy and doesnt want to go jogging, it says something about themselves and how they feel about themselves before it even gets to what you think about them. So no, no man demands a woman be Angelina Jolie, he does however take notice if a woman makes an effort to make herself as attractive as possible, no matter how high or low her ceiling on good looks may be.

Its a simple concept. Men are simple creatures. Its too bad many women don't seem to understand that.
Joined: 6/29/2006
Msg: 248
Would you marry someone just because they are rich ?
Posted: 7/7/2006 9:11:22 PM
You sir are devoid of true, human values and your mindset is what's helping to ruin our country and the world at large.

Like I said, I respect your right to your opinion even though its clear you have no respect for mine. I've been civil to you, I haven't made any personal attacks on you, I don't make any commentary on how you choose to handle your finances. But there you are with your personal attacks. It's all you have left.

If you feel that your money should be the primary reason why women are attracted to you, then you are trying to buy them. Pure and simple.

I never said money is everything, but you seem to imply money is nothing. If you feel that way, lets see how long any of the women on this site or in real life would want to date you if you lived in pure poverty, had no job and no prospects financially for the future.

Idealistically, thats nice, its a nice way to hope life would be but its not reality. The reality is if you don't have keep steaks in the freezer, you will end up in life eating alone.

People who believe in true love and romance and compassion. Those are things that cannot truly be bought.

And how is that working out for people? On a free site? Do you see people here dancing for joy and happiness all day long about their dating lives? For free, those things don't have such a great record in romance either.

And I never said true love and romance and compassion could be bought. Like I said before, sounds like you have some kind of issue with money, not me, sounds like you have some conflict about how money works in the world, not me.

But you know what can be bought? In the last five years I have paid for 14 different expensive and complicated surgeries and medical procedures for children whose parents could not afford health insurance. I'm not the only one, lots of wealthy guys I know give, and give well, to charities and disadvantaged folks out there. You want to paint every rich guy as some old heartless **stard with a bimbo on each arm. You think every rich guy started rich? My first business was one delivery truck where I slept in the back of it for the first five months at the ripe age of 19 years old. Your profile says your into comic books, do think when Bob Kane wrote Batman, that he envisioned a perfect man? Or a rich young good looking guy who lost his parents in a horrible tragedy? Do you think Bruce Wayne would give up every dollar he had to bring his parents back without a moments pause? Rich or poor, everyone has a demon to sleep with at night. I can't buy love, but I can buy a poor kid and his family the chance at life, a real life, without being saddled in medical debt until the day they die. Do you think those kids care if I am a good or bad man as long as they can run around and play again? If they can have a normal life again? Not every rich guy is a jerk and not every poor guy is a saint. Life isn't a comic book.

I could respond and pick apart everything that you said again, but what's the use?

Go ahead, pick it all apart if you want.

Like I said, it looks to me like the issue is your problem about money in general, not about how I view and deal with money.
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 249
view profile
Would you marry someone just because they are rich ?
Posted: 7/7/2006 10:02:15 PM
^^^^^^^^^^@iwarrior ...

If a woman is faced between a blue-collar guy like me and you, who is allegedly very well-off, and she goes for you based solely on your assets, then she's not someone I want.

Now that was impressive ... see I knew I was right when I said I'd go out with you! Excellent post!

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