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 ben1man
Joined: 5/23/2005
Msg: 170
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GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?Page 5 of 157    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)
This is a complex question that women don’t really want the answer to and men don’t want to tell. Besides most women already know the answer to this line of questions. It really would be like asking if your husband came to you for sex one night (or week or month) and you turned him down would it be ok for him to go get relief somewhere else? However, I decide to write a reply to this not so much to answer the question but to give some insight on the subject.
Most people consider making love to be having sexual intercourse. So if you were to say that you could have sex without love it would be like saying you could love without sex; oh wait people say they can love without sex all the time. But in reality sex is part of a relationship choosing to abstain for vanity reasons is not only a recipe for disaster but the building blocks of division between two people. I would highly recommend that no one start a relationship saying I’m saving myself or that I want to wait for anything. When people set boundaries they will carry over to the more significant part of the relationship and cause unnecessary additional stress. Instead people should consider the reasons why someone may chose to want to have sex, become pregnant, or do special sexual favors before or after a certain date, time period, or significant event. to test a relationship shows that you have trust issues and it would be better not only for you but for your partner as well if you were to work through these problems prior to becoming involved in a relationship. This would be particularly important and necessary if you really wanted the relationship to succeed.

Now on to the second part of the question if you are doing other acts (IE hand jobs, oral or anal) then you may be giving your partner enough of an outlet that he may remain content. But let us not loose tract that this should not be substituted for vanity reasons after all if a man is supposed to like your for who you are how would you feel if he said he wants to wait till you loose that freshman 40 or those extra ponds that you gained? Which brings me to my reply to the third part of your question. To which there is no blanket answer. Just as every woman is different every time a guy may be presented with that question he may have a different answer. So I will explain once when a woman who claimed she wanted to return to her religious up bringing and still wait. To set the stage she has 2 children is of the Methodist religion and was seeking marriage. I did not have a problem waiting because she was interested in having more kids but doing it the right way this time by becoming pregnant to what would be her husband. However I became discouraged when she did not feel like attending services on a regular weekly basis. Yet she did attend the bars on a regular weekends basis. She also later admitted that she did want to have sex but only with her ex until such a time that we were actually married and being an open-minded guy I asked if it would be ok for me to sleep with my son's mother until we were actually married. I was told it was not ok for me to sleep with anyone because I was the one who needed to show I could be faithful to her and no matter how I tried to explain things she could not see that it is not something one person does its something both partners do if they decide to go that route. Little to say that she and I only dated 3 times. To those who would say what was I doing discussing this on a third date? Well we were talking before we dated as most people who meet do and it was almost 2 months after we met that it came to an end. And you should have serious conversations up front so that you get to know a person ands not discover than they are not what you would want after investing serious amount of time and emotion.

And these are the idiotic ramblings of a man who is still single now you can see why!
 djkuhl
Joined: 7/7/2005
Msg: 171
GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 1/24/2006 12:56:53 PM
Yes.

The guys who say it's important before marriage were just looking for sex in the first place.
 realthing2
Joined: 1/17/2006
Msg: 172
GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 1/24/2006 1:21:06 PM
djkuhl

That is an insane conclusion. "if someone does not want to wait till marraige to have sex they only want sex." I dont think so. I want everything but by god I also want great sex and I am not going to go years (which I think you should before marraige) being sexually nuts to find out I have married a dud.

Personally I think anyone who go long periods of time without and not go crazy are the people who are not that sexual to begin with. Hence I would not want them...we would not be compatable.

This is from a very moral...selective....but sexual female!!!
 VirginiaG
Joined: 12/8/2005
Msg: 178
GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 1/24/2006 2:42:05 PM

There is very little that you can know about a person's sexual abilty that requires having sex.In fact there may be alot MORE you can learn about them from waiting a few months.

My point exactly!

Now, my question is: If you go out with different men and have sex with each one of them, doesn't that make you a whore? What is the difference between a prostitute and a serial dater? The money? Because at the end they are using the same thing: their ass.
 VirginiaG
Joined: 12/8/2005
Msg: 179
GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 1/24/2006 2:44:56 PM

And anyways once her fantasys over and the dress Is packed away - what happens 3 years down the track when reality hits and she starts wondering what Its like to be with others??
That is if you have been with a ton of "others".
 gothygeek
Joined: 8/13/2005
Msg: 180
GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 1/24/2006 3:09:44 PM
Some of us don't equate our sexuality with monetary value.

Some of us recognize that sexuality and morality are mutually exclusive.

Some of us recognize that what is right for us would not be right for other people and wouldn't want anyone to violate their own belief system.

Some of us would respect the choices you make for yourself as long as you don't try to shove your choices down our throats or try to tell us we are somehow "less than".

Some of us do NOT want to be married and we don't equate our self-worth with our marital status.

Some of us do not use antiquated terms like "used" or "slut" because we own our choices and our sexuality.

Some of us are quite content with being "alone" and wouldn't want it any other way.
 gothygeek
Joined: 8/13/2005
Msg: 182
GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 1/24/2006 3:29:14 PM

I have no clue what people mean by "sexually compatible". The penis goes in the vagina, how more compatible do you need to be?


I think you have just proven the "Test Drive" theory if you genuinely believe that's all there is to sex.
 Iron Wolf
Joined: 10/11/2004
Msg: 184
 dark_knight2008
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 186
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GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 1/24/2006 4:47:24 PM
look the way i sse it is this i dont know any woman who already had sex would wait till marriage. she already had sex and im sorry those hormones are going to catch up with her i would respect the fact that she wants to try not to have sex till marriage and i will stick around and wait if i really have felins for her but i know all to well will be having sex befor we tie the nott.
 Dogleg2rt
Joined: 9/16/2005
Msg: 189
GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 1/24/2006 5:02:37 PM
I couldn't wait. I think you need to know how well you interact in bed before marraige. I've met women that I got along great with, but in bed, they don't do a thing for me, or, I for them. If you can have great sex with someone you really like/love/connect with, then you have something, sex is a big part of a relationship, no matter what anyone says, otherwise, one, or both of you might be disappointed later. That "waiting until marraige stuff" sounds good on sunday morning in church, But in the real world it isn't feasible.
 kermancutie
Joined: 10/9/2005
Msg: 192
GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 1/24/2006 5:42:44 PM
i'M A WOMAN AND IF i WERE TO TELL SOMEONE THAT I WANT TO WAIT TO HAVE SEX TILL I GOT MARRIED IT WOULD BE TO FIRST CHECK OUT THE OTHER COMPATIBILITIES NOW IF I SAW THAT THE CHEMISTRY WAS GOOD BETWEEN MYSELF AND THAT PERSON AND THAT WE WOULD BE A GREAT MATCH THEN BY ALL MEANS I WANT IT TOO.
 CarolinaVargas
Joined: 12/14/2005
Msg: 193
GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 1/24/2006 6:00:14 PM
Stormflower not offense, but what country are you from? I cannot understand the way you write.
 quad613
Joined: 1/9/2006
Msg: 194
GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 1/24/2006 6:09:17 PM
If that woman means that much to you, than yeah... Who wouldn't wait.... That is just stating that you are using them for a peice...
 designingwoman
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 196
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GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 1/24/2006 8:37:48 PM
Some of my thoughts on this.

Why wait all the way until the wedding date? I feel that the time of engagement to marry is a good starting point for further intimacy. It's a special turning point in the relationship in which the couple has agreed to a lifetime commitment, but if the sexual issues are seriously incompatible, you are out wedding costs rather than the worse hassle of a divorce.

To me sexuality is a deep bonding that is special and should not be taken lightly. I've seen for the most part that sex very early in a relationship has often been problematic. But when a couple is planning to spend the rest of their lives together (ie. engaged) I think that is a great starting point, at least for first intercourse. Then the sexual act has deeper meaning and is a very special part of that loving relationship. As for the other activities, that is up to each couple to decide, and a bit off topic.

This is really an issue that each couple needs to decide for themselves, regardless of what other people think.
 CarolinaVargas
Joined: 12/14/2005
Msg: 199
GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 1/25/2006 2:46:02 AM
StormFlower does the kangaroo meat fried your brain?
 CarolinaVargas
Joined: 12/14/2005
Msg: 200
GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 1/26/2006 1:44:57 AM
It probably did and that's why you didn't answer.
 mikedanger
Joined: 4/13/2005
Msg: 202
GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 1/27/2006 6:55:45 AM
marathon: i couln't have said it any better myself! brilliant!
 BillinAH
Joined: 1/7/2006
Msg: 204
GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/3/2006 12:16:09 AM
Let me think about this one..


hmmmmm
wellll


NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
but hey
ok question...
 mikedanger
Joined: 4/13/2005
Msg: 206
GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/3/2006 7:26:32 AM
dahlia: he was wrong not to tell her!
 ndt
Joined: 1/31/2006
Msg: 207
GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/3/2006 8:20:30 AM
faithfulone - WELL SAID!!!

My Opinion:

To much emphasis on SEX PERIOD.

Most of society puts more importance on selfish/materialistic matters and not GOD (if one believes in him and the price we'll pay for our actions here on earth) or on the REAL IMPORTANT THINGS in life generally speaking.


Now to get back to this TOPIC - YES-YES-YES!!! I will wait for sure as I am doing already!!!
 designingwoman
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 208
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GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/3/2006 9:34:40 AM
I agree with Dahlia that he was wrong not to tell her that he had an ED problem. That's not good.

I do feel that waiting until engagement to marry fills two things: It shows respect for sexuality, while also giving the couple a chance to find out if they are sexually compatible prior to the I Do's. Waiting until engagement can possibly prevent a divorce, while still respecting the depth and meaning behind sexuality, namely having the commitment already in place.

I'm not very religious, but I do feel that this is a reasonable solution to this issue. My reasons for this choice are secular, but I can appreciate someone doing this or waiting until marriage for religious reasons.

Regards,

DW
 Bikeman_
Joined: 10/8/2005
Msg: 210
GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/3/2006 2:13:50 PM

There are a lot of Muslims and Christians in the world who would argue that with you. lol In fact, the bulk of the world's population belongs to one of these religious groups and both promote 'no sex' before marriage.

I understand part of what you are saying, Bikeman, in the sense that there are no guarantees in life so why wait! Many agree with you. I do. But I think saying that there is no 'honour' in waiting is inappropriate.

No offense to Muslims or Catholics, but you see all sorts of instances where Muslim men can have as many women as they want, feel that's ok, but then want to marry a virgin. I'll never understand the contradictions there with that culture. Catholics go to confession, rid themselves of sins, and then repeat them. Interweaving virginity into a religious context is illogical. IMO, God created us to enjoy our bodies, and to interact with the opposite sex.

I'm saying let's all go out there and get randomly laid. What I'm saying is that sex is a wonderful gift that a man should be sharing with a woman when they want to solidify a special bond between themselves. That's the way I look at it. Waiting for to have sex until "marriage" is crazy. Divorce laws are often unfair. If I value my sexual experiences, I want to have them with a life partner (and often) who isn't going to screw me for every cent I've got. The POFer who noted the couple that waited until they got married, then the woman found out about her husband's ED, another example of the stupidity of waiting until marriage.

Outside of a divorce context, it's foolish to wait. Who's to say marriage is the be-all end-all of relationship commitments? When two people feel the urge to merge, and they do it in a way where each person thinks more of the other than themself, WHY WAIT FOR MARRIAGE? Marriages are usually carefully planned well into the future. You could get hit by a truck, WHY WAIT???
 Summer Teeth2
Joined: 1/31/2006
Msg: 211
GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/3/2006 2:28:24 PM
I have trouble waiting from the time I pick her up to the time I open the car door for her. I usually jump her bones on the sidewalk within the first 30 seconds of the date.
 Eponymouss
Joined: 1/31/2006
Msg: 213
GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/3/2006 3:21:16 PM
No. I would not wait until I was married. Sex is a big part of a relationship. Just like other aspects of a relationship, I would need to know how we matched up. Can we relate to each other, share empathy, etc. And how would I know it was the right woman for me if we had never been intimate?

Wouldn't it just suck to marry someone, and a year or so later realize that you are just not physically compatable? And won't ever be?
 realthing2
Joined: 1/17/2006
Msg: 214
GUYS!!! If you met the right woman, could you wait for the sex till marriage?
Posted: 2/3/2006 3:22:52 PM
The second leading cause for divorce....sex. Wait till I get married to find out if we may be headed to divorce court....I think not.
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