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 Mon Cherie
Joined: 5/4/2009
Msg: 41
For those here, Just for the forumsPage 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
What I don't understand is when someone has "just here for the forums" but then they have several pictures of themselves in enticing poses. I'd guess that they really are not "just here for the forums" but are also seeking attention in other ways or they would just have no pic at all.

I really wish we were allowed to have two profiles, one for fishing and one for forums. I'd then have a profile "just for forums" with no pics up and I'd probably say a lot more than I currently do in the forums because it would be more anonomous.
 Bookbelle
Joined: 10/24/2008
Msg: 46
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For those here, Just for the forums
Posted: 1/12/2011 3:29:01 PM

For me, it's because I want to lose weight and I'm in the process of doing so. Hard to want to get out there and date when you don't like what you see in the mirror. Just want to focus on my own self-improvement for now.

But - I enjoy getting on the forums and seeing what people are saying out there so, for now, I remain in the background.........


Partly this.

I'm not happy with the way I am at the moment, so like Burnleybabe, am taking some time out for self-improvement.

But I also had a few bad experiences with guys in the months before Christmas. I'm over them/that now, but at the time figured that I'd take a break anyway. I didn't feel it would be fair to anyone I might meet if I was still bitter/having issues/if my head was in a mess over someone else.

Then, a while into the break, I decided to work on self improvement, which has kind of extended it.

If I do meet someone in the meantime, then great, but it's not a priority for me at the moment. Presently, I want to focus on my studies, carry on with the self improvement, and get more involved in certain activities I've been wanting to try for a while.

I hid my profile etc, but didn't delete it because I enjoy the forums here, and plan to be back on here to date when I've done the things I want to do.

 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 48
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For those here, Just for the forums
Posted: 1/13/2011 7:49:13 AM
"it is not an ocean full of fish
it is the aquarium at wall mart waiting for next arrival of gold fish"

I've slowly become convinced the #1 factor influencing nearly all forms of happiness, including dating, is: location, location, location. I did the same search for +/-5 years, not married, no kids, within only 25 miles and came up with over 3,000 women that have logged in today alone!

But more options also makes the competition more fierce, so it probably all balances out. Regardless, your point is taken, especially once you start considering who will date you, in addition to who you will date. Personally, though, I would leave these forums if I found myself in a real relationship. I come here only because I have absolutely nothing better to do when I'm not working. My main focus is on the dating side of POF, for sure.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 52
For those here, Just for the forums
Posted: 1/14/2011 5:40:00 PM
I think some forum folks.....
prefer just to troll here so they can argue.... rant and rave....
just like they would in a real relationship.

They get that need filled here.
So don't require a real person to harrass.

And god Bless em,
I hope they continue on that way.
(to spare the rest of us from bumping into em on a date)
:-P
 UglyFroggieCritter
Joined: 8/21/2010
Msg: 56
For those here, Just for the forums
Posted: 1/15/2011 8:45:08 AM
Markus has no idea why I'm here. None. He's not asked, and I haven't told.

I enjoy the forums, I enjoy the witty banter, and I entertain a couple of chat pals with my frogisms.

When I do decide to put my line officially back in the pond, I'll use PoF, but I'll also be enjoying the action in real life.

I'm good like that.
 Fierysunlvr
Joined: 1/14/2010
Msg: 57
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For those here, Just for the forums
Posted: 1/15/2011 9:11:22 AM
I've tried dating and meeting people on POF and it was a scary, depressing experience.

I'm about to change my profile to Forums Only because I'm sick of putting myself at risk over what's out there in the online dating world.

I do plan to start going to the local parties/events that are hosted for people in my area. Maybe meeting people in real life will work better than meeting them over the net.

I do see why people give up and go to forums only.
 marknotmike
Joined: 2/28/2007
Msg: 58
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For those here, Just for the forums
Posted: 1/15/2011 9:24:45 AM
I'm kind of disillusioned with online dating. I have MUCH better success with meeting people in real life through friends or work--it's just that it is months in between relationships this way, which is what drew me to online dating. It appeared that there was a huge supply of available women who were online for dating and wanted a relationship! And I can window shop and no one is bothered when I click on someone's profile and say, "Oh! No thanks. Next!" What's not to love about that?

But it's been an exercise in frustration--online, I usually am lucky to get a first date with someone I'm interested in, and it rarely ever progresses beyond that. People I meet in person and date end up lasting months or year--most recently we only broke up because she left for the Navy and we decided not to do the long distance thing. So, I've mostly given up on online dating, but I find reading the forums interesting. I rarely post though.
 StarshipNarrator
Joined: 6/30/2010
Msg: 59
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For those here, Just for the forums
Posted: 1/15/2011 2:28:25 PM
There is no fun for me to be had with online dating. It's essentially just a chore. It's a climate where I can't relate to anything women say in their profiles within a 200 mile radius. I tried looking at women several years my senior just for the sake of seeing what the dating pool would be like. Much to my dismay it wasn't even too terribly different. It makes me think online dating only attracts a certain type of woman since most of the profiles I've seen are homogeneous with each other.

The only reason I even log into my account is to check New Users and maybe change something about my profile. The last time I messaged a woman because I was actually interested in her was nearly 5 months ago. I always get messages from women who are out of my town and don't appeal to me. So, I take POF in the dating aspect with a grain of salt but it doesn't mean I've given up.

As for the forums, I have a love-hate opinion towards them. I despise the moderation of the forums but then it is necessary in some sense. A lot of the threads can be solved by the OP's own introspection and willingness to actually act on something aside from anything we can throw at them. Sometimes it's like people post threads just to f-u-c-k with people or when they're drunk rather than have a non-bullshit concern. Yeah, I do think there is more cabbage-tossing at people who post threads and it does get old when you spend a lot of time here. But then again there are threads that may not have that.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 61
For those here, Just for the forums
Posted: 1/15/2011 3:17:09 PM
I find the forums more rewarding, honestly. I agree with those who say it's entertaining, educational, interesting to read/post here. It's fun to check in here and there and take a break from working.

I'm in the middle of making some big changes to my life, so I barely have the time or mindset to get a workout routine in right now, much less date or consider a relationship.
 UglyFroggieCritter
Joined: 8/21/2010
Msg: 62
For those here, Just for the forums
Posted: 1/15/2011 5:32:41 PM
welsh, from the Forum Rules found within the FAQs:

Troll noun, adj., verb (discussion board slang)
1. Can be someone who is "trolling" for Responses, the Way a Fisherman trolls for Fish - he puts a baited Hook in the Water and sees how many Nibbles he gets on it, often 'hijacking' the Topic completely.

2. An Off-Topic Post to see how many People he can catch responding to it.

3. Any Series of Forum Messages from a Poster who is set on causing Conflict or provoking other Posters. Also called "Troll Post or Posting".

4. Continuously calling upon, drawing out and challenging a Poster(s) by Way of personal Comments, offbeat Remarks, Insults and Attacks to press for or provoke a Reply.

Hope this helps.
 Buckets_of_Sky
Joined: 2/7/2010
Msg: 64
For those here, Just for the forums
Posted: 1/15/2011 10:33:23 PM
Sad isn't it that so many people have proclaimed that they have just given up? At times I swear I can feel the loneliness and desperation emanating from my keyboard. Yet most of these self same people return day after day to the forums here at POF, not to find love (so they say) but just because it is 'interesting'.

Some of us have allow this site to define or confirm that we, perhaps, are unloveable, undatable, unworthy; but there are others that are worse off than we and we can validate this via the forums. We profess that the forums are interesting and informative, even though the same 50 questions are rehashed over and over again, week after week , month after month. Nothing changes, the same people are wondering why he/she hasn't called back, why they can't get someone to respond to their emails, wondering if they are too old, too young, too tall or short, fat or skinny. Wondering why someone would lie. Sane and reasonable people turn to blathering fools, yet we can never get tired of hearing about the these trials and tribulations, because it is easier to read about them and share our wealth of knowledge and insight than it is to engage in the world in real time. Perhaps it is a case of misery loves company.
 colt8301
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 66
For those here, Just for the forums
Posted: 1/16/2011 5:24:33 AM

Sad isn't it that so many people have proclaimed that they have just given up? At times I swear I can feel the loneliness and desperation emanating from my keyboard. Yet most of these self same people return day after day to the forums here at POF, not to find love (so they say) but just because it is 'interesting'.

Some of us have allow this site to define or confirm that we, perhaps, are unloveable, undatable, unworthy; but there are others that are worse off than we and we can validate this via the forums. We profess that the forums are interesting and informative, even though the same 50 questions are rehashed over and over again, week after week , month after month. Nothing changes, the same people are wondering why he/she hasn't called back, why they can't get someone to respond to their emails, wondering if they are too old, too young, too tall or short, fat or skinny. Wondering why someone would lie. Sane and reasonable people turn to blathering fools, yet we can never get tired of hearing about the these trials and tribulations, because it is easier to read about them and share our wealth of knowledge and insight than it is to engage in the world in real time. Perhaps it is a case of misery loves company.



I don't know how you meant this to come across, but I felt it was a shot at the forums users. I feel that when people don't get what they want on the this site and other sites, they like to come and take shots at the forums. We are easy goats I guess, I don't know about the others but from day one I was on the forums and never attempted a date from somebody, I'm personally more suited for "real life", online dating is too "one dimensional". I like seeing flaws and good traits at the same time, not one then the other. I don't personally don't like to be called "lonely or desperate" because those are states of mind and I'm personally at peace with myself. So basically you just called us all "pathetic" because that what lonely and desperate people are.


Oh and another thing, not you, this site, or any other a@#hole psychotherapist online or in real life can define "me". Just like no one can define you better than you.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 67
For those here, Just for the forums
Posted: 1/16/2011 5:48:28 AM

I have asked the question of "where do you go find decent people" many times over these past years and the answers I get are:

"I don't have a clue"

"You tell me and we'll both know"

"I wish I knew"

and the list of these types of answers goes on and on.

And yes, I have posed this question to both genders and of all ages as well.

Where do you live? I find there are decent people everywhere - so maybe it's just my region. Or I have your meaning of "decent" wrong...granted not every decent person you meet is going to be someone you want to date, but that's life. It's never been any different here, or anywhere else - online or off.
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 69
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For those here, Just for the forums
Posted: 1/16/2011 6:22:25 AM
I suspect that many came here to date, then, having participated in the forums, realized that they were better off not doing so!
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 71
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History
For those here, Just for the forums
Posted: 1/17/2011 6:11:25 PM

damnit troll is a fishing deriviative? I thought it was the gnome living under the bridge that everyone wanted to avoid.......

Didn't you say somewhere else you were dating ladies in BC now? Lots of trollers there. And in Seattle and the villages along the coast as well. Take a trip down to Gray's Harbor.

Look up salmon troller. There's a difference between lines with hooks, and nets that scoop up everything. In a pond like POF, the last thing you want is a trawler, you'd waste far too much time tossing back the bycatch.

On second thought, maybe online dating is more like trawling.....
 scifichicky
Joined: 2/12/2012
Msg: 72
For those here, Just for the forums
Posted: 4/20/2012 8:46:14 AM
I am here just for forums because I am just not ready. I tried dating a couple of times and had panic attacks. It IS nice to have a human connection of some sort though and know there are others out there that have been burned in relationships.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 74
For those here, Just for the forums
Posted: 4/20/2012 9:24:15 AM
Hate to say it, but I don't see many profiles in my age group and area that interest me. The few that I have contacted didn't reply. It's been quite a while since I met someone from this site, and those I have met weren't particularly interesting. So I've pretty much abandoned online and stick to women I meet in the real world.

I also don't care for this method of meeting and suddenly being in a dating relationship with someone you barely know. I think I prefer meeting people and getting to know them more gradually like in real life. Perhaps there's just too much information in online profiles.

But the forums are a hoot. I suppose if someone really interesting contacted me and wanted to meet, I'd probably be up for it. But I'm not holding my breath.
 kja71
Joined: 12/21/2011
Msg: 77
For those here, Just for the forums
Posted: 4/20/2012 11:33:04 AM
My feelings have been hurt recently and I'm just done for a while. I've met a lot of people on here that I talk to everyday and would miss them if I stopped getting on here.
 rec_diver
Joined: 11/13/2011
Msg: 78
For those here, Just for the forums
Posted: 4/20/2012 2:07:43 PM
My profile is clearly labeled "Forums Only" because I'm only here.. get ready.. "For the forums".

This thread goes back several years and at quick glance I see a bunch of reasons why someone might be here only for the forums, most commonly "because they failed to meet someone so they take it out on the forums" or they've got nothing better to do.

I've got a different reason.

I met someone, but I enjoy posting on forums, reading the stories of others and offering my typical well taken and very useful advice.

Since the moderators of this site don't feel quite so warmly about my various posts and have now limited me to 5 posts per day, the forums no longer keep my interest as they once did and the members here are deprived of my spot on and valuable hints, tips and suggestions to be successful in the dating world and beyond.

Sad
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 79
For those here, Just for the forums
Posted: 4/20/2012 2:18:39 PM

Since the moderators of this site don't feel quite so warmly about my various posts and have now limited me to 5 posts per day, the forums no longer keep my interest as they once did and the members here are deprived of my spot on and valuable hints, tips and suggestions to be successful in the dating world and beyond.


Have you considered deleting your profile and starting over with a new one?
 rec_diver
Joined: 11/13/2011
Msg: 80
For those here, Just for the forums
Posted: 4/20/2012 5:36:04 PM
Paderic :Have you considered deleting your profile and starting over with a new one?


Thanks for the suggestion, it's occurred to me to do that but I tend to be rather obsessive/impulsive by nature, and when I get into posting on a forum it can occupy a lot of my time. I was spending a good amount of my free time here and it's really a big waste. Sometimes I'll swing by, see an interesting thread, throw in some posts, suddenly hit my 5 per day limit, silently nod to myself and go do something more productive.

As I said I rarely come by here nowadays and that's one of the reasons. The mods did me a favor by restricting my posting privileges here even though there are easy workarounds in the form of level one elite proxies and other tools to protect one's privacy and anonymity.

Also if I skirted the ban (which is really what it is) by registering a new user Id, I'd have to always log in using a proxy server and that can be rather inconvenient as well as a bit slow at times. It's easy to mess up, and if I accidentally logged on using my real IP address with an alternate ID, it's easy to track that and they'd have grounds to permaban me.

POF has been good to me when I'm single and looking to date and I'd rather not burn my bridges, even though I'm in something good right now...3 months as of yesterday in fact.

 kmxplore51
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 82
For those here, Just for the forums
Posted: 4/20/2012 7:33:10 PM
^^^^^^ Hmmmm.... Ms Gypsy, we are not too far... What do you say? hmmmmm... :).
 NonamousDog
Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 85
For those here, Just for the forums
Posted: 4/21/2012 10:09:03 AM
Ren-Girl,

Care to elaborate on how POP was different 5-6 years ago as compared to now?
 WanderingRain
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 86
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History
For those here, Just for the forums
Posted: 4/21/2012 10:22:29 AM
In the area where I live, the women all have the same profile... they are looking for the quintessential movie cowboy. This fairy tale image of a tall knight in shining armor or whatever that they think exists. Well, they are welcome to go find him. It's not me, though so I don't even try anymore.

I mostly chat with women overseas (usually in Canada). I find them to be more intelligent and their profiles are more eclectic and unique. There's a few here in the US, but they are also beyond my reach either out in the East somewhere or whatnot...
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