Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 kitsguy4u
Joined: 11/19/2005
Msg: 11
view profile
History
Does This Dress Make Me Look Fat?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
Best response was above...you look great but the dress doesnt.
Yes its a dangerous question. All men know that it is a loaded question. you have to handle it like its an unstable bomb that you need to defuse. One wrong move or open your mouth before thinking it thru and it will blow up in your face.
Depending on the woman and your past experience with their reaction to the question should guide you.
You can be honest but you MUST be tactful. Its the only way to get out alive.
If you do set her off keep you cool. dont just spurt out an answer like "but I love big butts"! you arent going to cheer her up. she really doesnt care about you after you called her ass fat. you could try explaining that the cut or pattern of the dress just gives the illusion her butt is big. Dont say you were joking as she wont accept that. She will probably think you are even more of a pr1ck.
Also dont try to run from the question. When she asks dont just head for the door and claim you hear the phone ringing. She is primed to go off and running will just set her off.
stand your ground. think quickly but do think. if you hesitate with your answer you are in trouble. if you dont think you are a dead man. you may want to practise this situation so that you dont freeze when you get asked the question. Remember if you hear "i'm not mad" or "I'm fine". that just means that you have set the bomb off just with a time delay. be on your best behaviour and try to subtly suck up for the rest of the night and hope she forgives you (she wont forget it but she might let you off the hook for the time being).
what ever happens, good luck.
 Chess Bored
Joined: 8/6/2005
Msg: 15
Does This Dress Make Me Look Fat?
Posted: 1/18/2006 2:37:36 PM
Personally as a woman ive never asked..(no its not because i think i look like a super model, it's because i can see what i see in the mirror,thatswhat they were invented for so not to ask someone else!)i think if you have an eating disorder such as Anorexia then thats when you have a distorted view, though that can be explained as a type of illness.

I dont lie..though to not divulge is perhaps kinder...say: "show me something else"...there is a range of vocabulary to use..we only use a small percentage as we get lazy in our manner...

So yes...keep your honesty and integrity intact...though leave her feelings intact too..
 Chess Bored
Joined: 8/6/2005
Msg: 16
Does This Dress Make Me Look Fat?
Posted: 1/18/2006 2:40:27 PM
Personally as a woman ive never asked..(no, its not because i think i look like a super model, it's because i can see what i see in the mirror,thats what they were invented for so not to ask someone else!)i think if you have an eating disorder such as Anorexia then thats when you have a distorted view, though that can be explained as a type of illness.

I dont lie..though to not divulge is perhaps kinder...say: "show me something else"...(you may have to take an hour though while she tries the whole wardrobe on..lol)there is a whole range of our vocabulary to use,a dictionary full of words..we only use a small percentage as we get lazy in our manner...

So yes...keep your honesty and integrity intact...though leave her feelings intact too..
 Chess Bored
Joined: 8/6/2005
Msg: 17
Does This Dress Make Me Look Fat?
Posted: 1/18/2006 3:09:18 PM
WHOOPS!!!>>>READ NUMBER 16...MY FINAL DRAFT!..THANX>>>
 ~iiCe~
Joined: 7/26/2005
Msg: 24
Does This Dress Make Me Look Fat?
Posted: 1/19/2006 8:04:48 PM
I saw on a show the other day people talking about this same question... they said the best answer is something to the effect of.... what is going on that would make you ask me if you look ok.... they said it puts it back on the person and makes them deal with why they need confirmation from someone else about how they look... we all know when we look good.. we feel good... you could tell me I look like a cow in something... but if I like it and feel good in it.. it doesn't matter...
 thajuggla
Joined: 5/24/2004
Msg: 28
Does This Dress Make Me Look Fat?
Posted: 1/20/2006 12:07:08 AM
LIVEWIREHERE YOU ARE TRUE TAKE ME FRO EXAMPLE IF PEOPLE WERE SO STUCK ON LOOKS I FOR 1 WOULD BE AT THE BOTTOM OF THE CHAIN BUT I AM NOT I HAVE A LIL' SOMETHIN CALLED SELF CONFIDANCE THANX FOR LISTENING TO ME
 scottymac
Joined: 11/30/2005
Msg: 30
view profile
History
Does This Dress Make Me Look Fat?
Posted: 1/20/2006 6:10:58 AM
Dude, I am a very direct person too. However, experience has taught me that words must be tempered with a little discretion. There are 10 million ways to say the same thing. Put some thought in to your choice of words before you open your mouth. You'd be surprised how receptive people can be to the truth if you word it correctly. It's a win/win. They get the message and you still get to be you. Try it!

BAD: That dress makes your ass look fat!

GOOD: Gee honey, you have such a nice figure and you are a really sexy woman but that dress doesn't do anything for you.
 DeagleNINja
Joined: 9/10/2005
Msg: 33
Does This Dress Make Me Look Fat?
Posted: 1/21/2006 8:22:08 AM
"Does this tent make me look campy?"
 Doug0716
Joined: 5/24/2005
Msg: 37
Does This Dress Make Me Look Fat?
Posted: 1/21/2006 11:10:12 AM
OMG, this thread has made me laugh soooo hard. This is good stuff (oh and nice solution Rake... sounds fitting).

Then again, it's always a much more comfortable relationship enviroment when the girl is comfortable with her body, even if it's not the best... I mean if you're constantly saying "I'm fat, I need to lose weight... I'm fat" then what do you expect a guy to do... enjoy spending time around you complaining about your body (when he obviously likes it if you're with him)... I actually had one g/f tell me I needed to gain weight because she almost weighed as much as me... WTH is that?! *rolls eyes* haha.
 vivienne3
Joined: 4/25/2005
Msg: 38
view profile
History
Does This Dress Make Me Look Fat?
Posted: 1/21/2006 3:31:16 PM
I put new sheets on my bed which were striped. The stripes went across instead of, which I would prefer, up and down the bed. I asked a friend over, showed him the bed with the new sheets and asked, "Do these sheets make me look fat?" We were still laughing after dinner.
 Runs With Squirrels
Joined: 10/21/2005
Msg: 43
view profile
History
Does This Dress Make Me Look Fat?
Posted: 1/21/2006 10:12:27 PM
Well, Rake's answer is my new favorite, but my OLD favorite was, "Well . . . it's not the MOST flattering thing you've ever had on . . . " It got the message across without being outright rude.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  >