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 LACali
Joined: 4/14/2010
Msg: 155
BBW With Broken Heart! Page 9 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
Of course you have to love yourself and find peace within because we are all imperfect but the OP was 26 when she wrote this and this is the time to get her weight under control. It only gets more difficult as you get older. And I'm a big believer that what you don't like, change. Most things can be changed even a little bit and in making the effort you find some self-esteem. Ok, I'm climbing off my soapbox but I do hate to see such young women taking the easy way out with serious repercussions.
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 156
BBW With Broken Heart!
Posted: 5/2/2010 8:30:20 AM
I don't see that she does not love herself and/or have low self esteem. She was merely posing a question regarding what she had experienced. She can lose weight and might meet some men who respect her who are not looking for booty calls, but the booty call thing does not seem to be based on the size of a woman, as some posters pointed out. I think I might start telling people who are very thin that they need to gain weight, as they are imperfect to be thin. Their lives might change and they might have fewer serious repercussions if they stop taking the easy way out (they need to learn to eat a balanced diet, for goodness sake), plus men might notice them more since they are not underweight. I would probably hear lots of comments from others if I decided to make comments about underweight people, but it seems to be cool to judge large people here and tell them how to live their lives. If I were not a bbw I would still find the comments disgusting and condescending. Off my soapbox now.
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 157
BBW With Broken Heart!
Posted: 5/2/2010 8:30:47 AM
I don't see that she does not love herself and/or have low self esteem. She was merely posing a question regarding what she had experienced. She can lose weight and might meet some men who respect her who are not looking for booty calls, but the booty call thing does not seem to be based on the size of a woman, as some posters pointed out. I think I might start telling people who are very thin that they need to gain weight, as they are imperfect to be thin. Their lives might change and they might have fewer serious repercussions if they stop taking the easy way out (they need to learn to eat a balanced diet, for goodness sake), plus men might notice them more since they are not underweight. I would probably hear lots of comments from others if I decided to make comments about underweight people, but it seems to be cool to judge large people here and tell them how to live their lives. If I were not a bbw I would still find the comments disgusting and condescending. Off my soapbox now.
 cinsav
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 158
BBW With Broken Heart!
Posted: 5/2/2010 8:49:52 AM

Why is it that when a guy comes across my profile or any other BBW, they don't want to be friends, they don't want a relationship, All they want is Sex? Why is that? I mean we are more then just a piece of meat! We do have hearts and feelings, We are smart and funny and everything else that comes along with being a human! We are just a lil bigger! Why is that so hard for people? I don't understand it!
I guess if people are going to be that narrow minded, then I am going to be single for the rest of my life!


Hate to burst your bubble but the phrase "BBW" is an oxymoron. There is no such thing.

Fat is not attractive... on a man or a woman. It just isn't. And, you know this.

Rather than crying about it, spend that energy putting yourself on a healthy diet, signing up for a gym membership (and actually using it). Lose the weight and your love life will change in ways you can't imagine.

Thin / Athletic / Slender people typically like to do things. Hiking, biking, swimming, tennis, whatever. They KNOW that someone 50 / 60 / 100 pounds over weight is NOT going to be able to do those things with them. So why should we waste our time?

Secondly, it's obvious that you don't even care enough about your own health, yourself to stop with the cake, second helpings, all day eating and lack of any physical exercise... what the hell makes you think we believe you'll care about us?

Guys don't join dating sites or approach women in the world because they want friends. They want dates, not buddies. We have buddies. We have friends. We want you for romance, sex and relationships.

Of course you're just like everyone else when it comes to feelings, humor, intelligence, etc... but you have no self control. You have no motivation to do anything about your situation. YOU have the power to lose the flab and get yourself in shape, but you'd rather prop yourself up with the ole "I'm happy with who I am! You should love me for me! All 250 pounds of me!" crap that just isn't realistic in our world today.

Stop with the self pity and do something about it.
 andy1961
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 159
view profile
History
BBW With Broken Heart!
Posted: 5/2/2010 8:31:18 PM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Excellent post! Every word is true.

Especially...


Guys don't join dating sites or approach women in the world because they want friends. They want dates, not buddies. We have buddies. We have friends. We want you for romance, sex and relationships.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 160
BBW With Broken Heart!
Posted: 5/3/2010 12:38:43 AM
If all they want is sex, its a reflection on them
If you give in knowing that, then it is a reflection on you.
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 161
BBW With Broken Heart!
Posted: 5/3/2010 3:29:32 AM
How can they want a bbw for sex since she is so disgusting? Inquiring minds want to know.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 162
BBW With Broken Heart!
Posted: 5/3/2010 1:12:06 PM
oh theres a cult of sexual gaming out there called "Hoggin"
you would be surprised.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hogging
 MicheleK22
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 163
BBW With Broken Heart!
Posted: 9/3/2012 9:16:23 PM
OP i feel ya on this one... It's like they also put so much time into getting to know us and then just wanna have sex maybe once or twice and then its like they never knew you. It makes me fustrated they actually put that much effort into it.
 SingleOregon
Joined: 5/26/2012
Msg: 165
BBW With Broken Heart!
Posted: 9/5/2012 5:46:33 PM
It's wrong for people to do such a thing! I think that most men need to rethink their position in life and have a turn around about what they want. As for BBW and other similar things.... Health is a very big thing....I encourage fitness for anyone.
 SingleOregon
Joined: 5/26/2012
Msg: 166
BBW With Broken Heart!
Posted: 9/5/2012 5:47:32 PM
me.... I am not after sex. that's for love and marriage down the road... much funner for BOTH PEOPLE INVOLVED when it's in REAL love not lust or passion...
 AmazingApril
Joined: 10/6/2012
Msg: 167
BBW With Broken Heart!
Posted: 10/20/2012 11:53:57 AM

Why is it that when a guy comes across my profile or any other BBW, they don't want to be friends, they don't want a relationship, All they want is Sex? Why is that? I mean we are more then just a piece of meat!


I get the same reaction. In some situations I think it's more of curiousity or fantasy that some of the guys even message me. SMH
 rache0
Joined: 9/28/2012
Msg: 168
BBW With Broken Heart!
Posted: 10/20/2012 5:09:50 PM
I have no idea.The guys i meet just want skinny gal's.Go figure.And,i am just on the curvy side.
 Drawesome32
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 170
BBW With Broken Heart!
Posted: 10/20/2012 11:33:06 PM
you really want to know? ok, ill be real with you. men dont like big girls. sorry. ask 100 guys and you might run into 5 that really like big women. and id be willing to guess that 3 of those 5 only date big women cause they cant get small women. you want to fix your dating problems? lose weight. i tell the same thing to my male friends too. very, very few people are really attracted to overweight people.

men dont need female friends. for the most part, if we have female friends, its because we want more from her, but shes not into us and we got friendzoned. this doesnt happen to you because like i said, most men arent into big girls. they just arent willing to put in that time to try and get with you when they dont really want you. many of us will however, use you for sex. why? because most often a bigger woman will give it up easily. not saying youre like that, but many are. if a guy is striking out with the more fit women, he will go get laid from a big girl.

to the posters saying all men want barbie dolls...nonsense. we just dont want women who are flippin obese. there IS a middle ground. most men have no issue with a woman having a few extra pounds, and do not usually look only for crack head thin or barbie doll looking women. thats just nonsense that crazy overweight women say. we like our women with curves, just not curves of belly rolls and backfat.

one last thing. the term bbw should be dropped from everyones vocabulary. just because a woman is big, shes automatically beautiful? no. men dont get a bhm (big handsome man) term. why? because no one thinks big fat men are attractive. dont coddle yourselves ladies. being fat doesnt make you beautiful. usually its the opposite. my friends and i see women all the time with pretty faces and we KNOW theyd be gorgeous if they werent 80+ pounds overweight. its really sad.
 Lilbitofsugaandspice
Joined: 6/30/2011
Msg: 171
BBW With Broken Heart!
Posted: 10/20/2012 11:48:40 PM
Larger women are beautiful! Seriously- nice round bottoms, nice round tops, thick full lips, and ALL NATURAL! Some men are just afraid to admit/acknowledge the fact they like big girls because they are afraid of what their friends might think.
Life is too short to concern yourself with others. I say to all the guys out there- if you like big women- go for it! I say to all the big girls out there- don't be down on yourself, there are a TON of guys out there that would LOVE to have an opportunity to get to know you- do some research- every poll I've seen on this subject says about 30% of guys out there PREFER larger women. Of the remaining 70%, I am sure many would not date larger women, but I have the suspicion a good deal of those would not find the weight a big issue.
Look on the internet for the term "BBW". If big women were not a major turn on for many of the men, there would not be over 22 million results, would there?
I think many big girls just have the false perception that men aren't attracted to them because 1. They are not noticing subtle advances because they aren't expecting them
2. So much in hollyweird is geared toward anorexic skinny looking women 3. some guys are a little shy about "coming out of the closet" about liking bigger women. 4. The guys that "don't like" big women are so vocal/mean about it (kind of like how the guy that is most voraciously constantly bashing homosexuality always turns out to be a homosexual himself)
Don't get me wrong, I know there are guys out there that genuinely have a preference for thin women, too- but more than you will ever know LOVE BBWs...
I know a guy that will tell people his preference all the time, and it's always the same thing- each group of guys laugh at first like he is making a joke- then later, a few from the group come back to me one-to-one and ask if he was serious about liking bigger girls.... I tell them "yes", and it seems there is kind of a weight lifted off their shoulders, and they will open up and admit to me they like big girls too....
A sexy, confident BBW is a rare and wonderful treat. Don't get discouraged, some people won't get it, some will pretend not to, some will be mean- these are NOT the guys you are trying to win over. But for the good portion of the guys out there that appreciate a beautiful curvy girl, you would be their fantasy.
 Waterl
Joined: 10/15/2012
Msg: 173
BBW With Broken Heart!
Posted: 10/24/2012 8:26:01 PM
It goes for the thin women also, trust me. Maybe when those men end up 85 years old an alone they'll regret it. lol
 sexysunfish68
Joined: 10/12/2012
Msg: 174
BBW With Broken Heart!
Posted: 10/24/2012 10:48:24 PM
It is no different for any woman, all sizes get hit on with cyberspace dating sites. However some men think that a BBW will be less choosey and easy because of low self esteem. And some women do give it out easily because of low self image. However these men are pathetic. You are missing nothing.

I am careful what I say about weight as a friend of mine got banned on here for weeks for suggesting an overweight girl could do something about it. Yet all manner of cruel comment is allowed to go on.

 cali.gal
Joined: 6/13/2012
Msg: 175
view profile
History
BBW With Broken Heart!
Posted: 10/25/2012 2:01:04 PM
I think most guys are just looking for Sx. and I think other guys are so shallow they might worry about what other people think even if they do like your personality and everything else.
 indigopeace
Joined: 11/1/2012
Msg: 179
BBW With Broken Heart!
Posted: 11/4/2012 8:58:13 PM
From my own experience, it seems there are a lot of guys that want to "hook up" with BBWs, but it's seen as some sort of fetish. They're turned on by, attracted to bigger women, want sex with them, but because we live in a society, culture that screams, "fat people are ugly, gross, embarrassing to be with, etc.," they avoid dating them openly. I find it sad and discouraging. :(
 Drawesome32
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 180
BBW With Broken Heart!
Posted: 11/4/2012 9:57:24 PM
what i want to know is this...why is it there are so many people who talk about how a bunch of men want BBW women and dont want to admit it, or we are all dating "sticks" because society tells us she is hot, and other enabling things for women who are overweight, but no one does it for fat guys? why is there no BBM term for men that are overweight? why dont you hear a bunch of excuses from fat guys about how only real women dig fat guys?
 bestkisser33
Joined: 8/26/2011
Msg: 181
BBW With Broken Heart!
Posted: 12/6/2012 8:12:01 AM
i love bigger women
 FullBodiedFlavor
Joined: 11/25/2008
Msg: 183
BBW With Broken Heart!
Posted: 12/7/2012 10:00:59 AM
I, too, am a BBW and have been for the majority of my life. I've been on this and other dating sites for several years so I feel I can give an informed response to your plight.

To insinuate that 'any other BBW' on this site shares your experience is being a bit short-sighted. And to infer that all men who view the profiles of BBW have the opinion they are merely 'just a piece of meat' and are doing so for the sole purpose of sex is clearly distorted and prejudicial.

While there will always be the few disturbed people who will find enjoyment in attempting to insult others with their sophomoric remarks and gestures, it is important to recognize your enticement of their actions.

I have found that most women on dating sites attract exactly what they advertise for. Unfortunately, the majority have ads (profiles) that are ambiguous and misleading. Men, in general, are literal in their way of thinking. They need clear and concise information. Without it, they are open to their own interpretation of the ad.

As a woman, I find your profile displays a lack of self-confidence, as well as being elusive, as evidenced by the following:

"I really hate talking about myself, but I guess I will give this a shot".
Be confident enough to enjoy telling others about who and what you are.

"I try to be romantic".
Either you are or you aren't.

"I don't wanna find someone who just wants to be with someone so they can say that have someone. I want to find someone who wants to be with me, because they want to be with me. I dont want someone who is going to play head games, or is gonna diss me for the boys ".
This is an open invitation to every narcissist who comes across your profile. It shouts, HEY! Here I am guys! Easy target if you're looking for a woman to be taken advantage of!

"I want to find someone ..."
This comes across as desperation. Again, this shows a lack of confidence in yourself. Don't advertise that you are 'on the hunt'. Present yourself in a manner that conveys your overall attractiveness and allow the men to find you because of what you truly have to offer.

"I can act like the boys too *Mean face* see!! LOL "
Your profile indicates you are 29. This gives the impression your mentality is about 15 years behind your physicality. If you are serious about meeting a mature man, you have to be mature yourself.

"Cause life can never be that perfect".
Anothert negativity. Life can be whatever you want it to be.

"I try to be romantic.. I dunno tho, ..."
A reinforcement of the fact you have no clue how to be romantic.

"Do dreams really come true?"
Is everything you said in your profile simply a dream? Or is it a goal? Are you a strong enough woman to know what you want in life and possess the gumption to obtain it? Or are you the proverbial 'dreamer' who sits back waiting for your fairytale to come true?

"Do U think U have what it takes to make my/our dreams come true?"
The question is, Do YOU 'have what it takes' to to reach your goals in life and the ability to share in a strong relationship?

Even here on the Forum you present your low-self esteem and 'woe-is-me' outlook on life with your comment: "I guess if people are going to be that narrow minded, then I am going to be single for the rest of my life"!
Get off the pity-pot and grow up a bit. No man, other than the one who is looking for an easy mark to get his jollies from, would be favorably impressed with your summation of yourself and what you proffer.

Don't blame your failings on your physical package. Instead, reevalute your whole package and what you are presenting to the men here. If you aren't catching what you're fishing for - Change your bait!

The majority of the men I have met on this site have been respectful gentlemen and, even though I haven't yet met 'the one' with whom I'll develop an intimate relationship, I have maintained an on-going, platonic friendship with several of them.

I wish you the best in your adventures here.
 nikidoll14
Joined: 6/25/2012
Msg: 184
BBW With Broken Heart!
Posted: 12/8/2012 11:00:14 AM
.I feel exactly d same way all the tym why arent there any real guys?:( all of them on here r only looking for sex..they r just lookn 2 use us throw us oneside??we are the same!!!comeon its realy frustrating....
 moretoohug
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 185
view profile
History
BBW With Broken Heart!
Posted: 12/11/2012 4:15:12 PM
Me too a BBW with A broken heart.
They are not what they seem. I fell for one and he said he loved me too then he took all my money and beat me up and said he never loved me from the begining. Sad very sad kills your trust in all of them. There may be pleanty of fish but do they all have to be the scum off the bottom of the ocean? more too hug
 Greatguy282
Joined: 12/11/2012
Msg: 186
BBW With Broken Heart!
Posted: 12/16/2012 6:37:01 PM
People that judge other on looks or size are not worth my time. If your a so called 10 in the eyes of society then you need to be 90 pounds and always working out. I do not mind if your BBW or bigger. As long as your happy and healthy. A bigger gal in my book with a great personality is better in my book. BBW people are real person and have feelings. Be nice get to know the person if there not a good person then walk away don't judge on looks or size. That's shallow and rude. All people have feelings.
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