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 Melodic Euphoria
Joined: 3/22/2005
Msg: 120
Relationships with moralsPage 7 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

@angielah

Well, you may be technically right in that it IS the repression of physical urges, but ...

Many people take great satisfaction from the ascetic lifestyle.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ascetic

To them, discipline and control are their own rewards, and bring one closer to enlightenment and spirituality. Just like a marathon runner resists the physical signals of his body to stop, or a masochist endures the immediate pain, the idea is that the exercise of such control leads one to a much richer and rewarding sense of satisfaction in the end.

To discount chastity as mere "repression" is to deny these other perspectives and question their validity.

I would argue that, just perhaps, the eventual rewards of the ascete (or the chaste) are far greater than the immediate rewards of the hedonist ... but then again, maybe not.
:)



I was actually mostly referring to two people in love, and that it is not ultimately fulfilling in a relationship if one refrain oneself from showing affection to the other person. Yes, physical contact is far from the most important element in a healthy relationship, but it's necessary as a part of communication, a way of showing your partner the extent of your attraction, your vunerability, caring and connection of your soulmate.

I've nothing but respect for people who have the discipline to restrain themselves from engaging in sexual activities until marriage. In fact, I've made the vow of chastity myself and have never even allowed any guy to kiss me yet! But I'd still argue that with the person you love, especially after marriage, be totally honest with your feelings and your body language towards your lover and don't hold back. That's the best way to love - the un-repressed love!

~peace.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 3/2/2005
Msg: 128
Relationships with morals
Posted: 1/24/2006 4:40:08 PM
dot I think you summed it up nicely with this. "Morals and religion are not one in the same. Non religious people have been known to have strong morals." That was what I was TRYING to say...you said it MUCH more concisely. Thanks.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 3/2/2005
Msg: 129
Relationships with morals
Posted: 1/24/2006 4:53:57 PM
Thanks, sweetie, and I've love to answer that, but I think that'd be WAY off topic!! Religion isn't my favorite forum topic anyway, I like discussing that one on one. Hope you understand.
 marathonman11x7
Joined: 4/29/2005
Msg: 133
Relationships with morals
Posted: 1/25/2006 10:16:00 AM

there is a big difference between a girl that sleeps around just because daddy didnt give her enough attention, and teenagers and young adults that get into relationships and have sex.

Please explain the "big"difference. The statement seems to make an assumption and seems extremely judgemental.


but his virginity also lead to other problems. for a while, he was a porn addict because he was suppressing his physical urges.
let me tell ya girl, i wouldve rather him slept with someone and experienced real sex than all that fake crap. trying to be "unnatural" only leads to worse

Are you sure he wouldn't have been a "porn addict" had he not been a virgin? You do understand that there are millions of non-virgins who also may appear to be addicted to porn right? Also,if he had slept with someone before you does it mean that he would have been any better than he is now?
"REALITY" is relative and perceptual.
 wildfire1950
Joined: 1/10/2006
Msg: 136
Relationships with morals
Posted: 4/6/2006 8:59:22 AM
Hi Jimi !! Hi Meg !!

Thanks for speaking up, Jimi. Hang in there, Meg.

I really think that some of these older folk around here have been trying to palm themselves off as sages and they are not. Well, I am an old guy and really hope that what I say does not sound condescending. And I don't feel the need to beat my drums about education, age wisdom or any of that bull hockey.

Meg, I hope that you will not be jarred by some of the crock seen here on this thread. There are some very, very twisted and wrong headed opinions expressed here and with the subtle arrogance of the Playboy philosophy. Don't we recall that Playboy insinuated that we were little fools if we could not appreciate that a naked woman was art?

Yeah! I fell for it for a little while. The truth about women is that they are human like the rest of us, but they are emotionally wired differently. No equality there.

I think that some of these self-anointed sages around here tried to slip around me wioth this discussion and avoided comment simply because they sensed that what I suggested to Meg was very appropriate and was not about judgment. Isn't it funny to hear the PC crowd whining when we step all over their lame ideas that have never worked and never will work because they are based on sheer lies. And lies don't work!

Meg, sorry that you did not meet with very much good sense here. In an environment like the internet, the role of a publisher does not exist. So, a lot a crap gets published that would otherwise bite the dust. I don't even think Playboy would print some of this junk.

If you are tired of this thread, you don't have to stay. If you feel like I do, you are already seeing that local opinions are like butts. Everybody's got one and they are a dime a dozen.

Here's what I've seen in life. Young girls get sucked into promiscuity and this causes them to have a very hard time handling a marriage. Regardless of their level of religion or spirituality, they cannot handle the load of guilt or uncertainty or whatever it is that nags them so badly that they cannot function in a marriage.

Personally, marriage has a lot of wonderful things to offer us. Not to mention that you seldom ever have to wonder when you get to have those really fun times together. As a married man, I usually enjoyed good sex from two to four times a week. I never had it so good when I was single and on the prowl.

Now, marriage is like any other relationship in one respect. What do you bring to the table? What do they bring to the table? Heck! If I know that somebody is dishonest, it would be crazy to get yoked with them.

I was married for 25 years when my soon to be former wife lost her mind. She decided to leave the nest. Yes, we stopped living together because it was unbearable, but we kept the friendship. I am still committed to her wellbeing and bug her family to get her to her doctors. We even eat out sometimes. Yet, I am moving on and may eventually partner with a good person. There are those who judge me for moving on and opening up to friendships with other women, but remember, it was my wife's choice to break off. Do you get it?

CK
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 138
Relationships with morals
Posted: 4/17/2006 12:37:20 PM

I think that my basic point is that physical touch should have nothing to do with love...you dont have to be physical to develop love...and I have many friends as well that i share love, trust, and communication with. But, what I am talking about is a realtionhsip that you display the very most of self-control and say no to the desires you have physically.


Wow, I couldn't get passed this to read any other posts.

Someone has completely baffled your senses with this "stuff." First, let's get this straight...I'm celibate and have relationships. Sex doesn't have to exist to have "intimate" relationships. Now, that being said...you are missing such a big portion of the picture.

To think for one second that physical touch is not necessary is not only ridiculous, but a very very drastically wrong statement. Mothers/fathers and their children are a very good example. Mothers/fathers cuddle, kiss, hold, etc., their young. Human touch is a necessary part of health on all levels. Babies that are not held have serious issues throughout life. Human touch does not equate to sex. I fear someone has brainwashed you, Dear. Hopefully you and your "morals" can find a middle ground which will allow you a healthier outlook on life. Leave sex out of the equation, that is easy. Take away love via human touch, you're going to miss out on the purest form of love there is. I actually feel sorry for you ~ now that is sad!!!
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 139
Relationships with morals
Posted: 4/17/2006 12:51:03 PM
Oh, and as for the "religious" aspect you are speaking ~ obviously "perception" has been dictated to you. Find an independent party, a clergyman/pastor/priest/etc. (someone you don't already know) and have a heart to heart discussion with them about physical contact and the Bible/Christianity. I have a very strong feeling you will be awakened to the travesties that you have unfortunately been fed. If you attended Easter services yesterday, I must ask ~ how many people hugged one another at that service? How many young unmarried couples held hands while welcoming the sermon into their hearts/lives? How many mothers/fathers held their children and thought how blessed they are for the time together and the opportunity to be with like-minded people on a day they concider "holy?" Wow, I'm in shock. One must ask, what form of Christianity are you practicing??? (***I was raised Christian but am not now, yet I do believe that true Christians, on the whole, would never relate to this thread topic.***) Such a sad commentary.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 141
Relationships with morals
Posted: 4/17/2006 1:18:30 PM

kaytiejessiesum- Do you feel that maybe you are misrepresenting your religion in this thread? From what I understand of the Christian religion, God is the only one who is worthy of judging people because he is the one who created them. You, however, have not only been judging people, but attempting to belittle them for the lifestyles they lead, simply because they are different than yours. I have to agree that you should open your eyes/mind and realize that "your way" is not the only way.


I never stop being amazed when I see professed Christians judging others. Organized religion at it's finest!!!
 sayonara7
Joined: 3/13/2006
Msg: 142
Relationships with morals
Posted: 4/17/2006 1:24:53 PM
I kind of think like you in a way megd as in why everyone has become "sex crazed".....but it has nothing to do with God or religion.I'm not going to have pre-marital sex or even fool around before marriage.But, I don't think I'd want a relationship with no touching or kissing after I got married, whatsoever.I think there has to be both physical and emotional aspects of love for a relationship to succeed.

I don't agree with whoever called you naive, I think it's extremely intelligent of you to have such strong morals even when your 21,I wish to be like you.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 150
Relationships with morals
Posted: 4/17/2006 2:54:22 PM

To verygreeneyez:

I really don't know which "thought" of yours to comment on.
You are very mixed up on your thoughts - couldn't even understand what exactly you are trying to say. Are you saying that I wrote that physical touch is not important? If you are, I think you should read a little slower to be able to read correctly.
And yes, people in church hug, families hug, etc - but if you don't know what type of "touch " I was refering to, then I ask you again, to read my post because you read it all wrong.
No more comments on your post for now because I have no idea what you are referring to - is it my post?


Apparently you need to slow down and re-read, because I wasn't posting that response to you. I didn't even bother reading most of your "insight." My response was for the Original Poster. I think should she wish to respond, she would know exactly what I'm talking about!
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 151
Relationships with morals
Posted: 4/17/2006 2:58:11 PM

To knnyb65: sorry, I don't have any comments for your post. Too immature and stupid to comment on, besides, I'm not very fond of clowns that are not funny at all.


The epitome of stupidy right there in one line...nothing to say but nastiness...nice....hope none of your Christian friends see the real you. Did your mother ever tell you "if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all?"

Here we are again Posters....educated opinions at an idiot convention!!! I so love that!!!
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 152
Relationships with morals
Posted: 4/17/2006 3:00:47 PM

Do you have a Bible? Look for it, you will find it. I'm tired of posting. I'll let you do some research work now, instead of just me



That was just too convenient, start a conversation, don't like where it's heading and be too tired to finish!!! Love it!!!!
 sayonara7
Joined: 3/13/2006
Msg: 154
Part 1 of 2
Posted: 4/17/2006 3:55:54 PM
Wow...good job molonel...that was long but worth reading every word, she really needed some thought provoking answers to be a little less ignorant.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 157
Part 1 of 2
Posted: 4/17/2006 6:37:16 PM
molonel: Thank you for such a thoughtful and concise post. Unfortunately, it appears the enlightened ones are much too tired to continue posting ~

(Furthermore, I think you probably caused "speechlessness" or something of the sort!)
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 158
Relationships with morals (Back to the beginning)
Posted: 4/17/2006 11:01:18 PM
^^^^You either baffled them or put them to sleep! Either way ~ thank you!!!
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 159
Relationships with morals (Back to the beginning)
Posted: 4/18/2006 5:01:50 AM

verygreeneyez says “You either baffled them or put them to sleep! Either way ~ thank you!!!”

Thank you too and I guess that if megd is into the Bible and religion, she is used to hearing baffling sermons that can, if we are not interested in listening, put us to sleep.

Got a bit more if you like…


***Scratching head in wonder***

Errrr....is that a slam??? Are you attempting to slam my comment? If so, you may want to read (or re-read, whatever the case may be) the past 10 or so pages in order to fully understand what "we" are discussing, then please feel free to write an appropriate slam dedicated to me. One that I may actually find a tad insulting, or at least one that makes sense. Because at this moment, I have absolutely NO clue whether that is banter or an attempt at insulting me.

Futhermore, megd obviously lost interest in this thread not long after posting it, sticking up for her really isn't necessary as she hasn't taken an active role in most of the discussions here. Again, maybe you should go and actually read what is being discussed....it's much easier to take a shot at someone when you actually have an idea of what they are talking about and which side of the fence they are standing on.



P.S.:

verygreeneyez says “You either baffled them or put them to sleep! Either way ~ thank you!!!”
That particular statement was in response to something posted directly to me ~ obviously you have NO clue what conversations are going on here. As that wasn't directed to megd or her posse.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 162
Relationships with morals
Posted: 4/18/2006 6:06:26 AM

Morals are an entirely religious consrtuct.


Hmmm...I do not indulge in casual sex (celibate by choice) yet, I am not religious (in the main-stream sense.) Morals don't have to exist as a spiritual concept. I choose not to be physical because I eventually want a relationship that is not based upon physical attraction or sexual chemisty. My moral fiber is not Christian based, nor non-Christian based for that matter. Once I decided to abstain, my life not only got much easier, I found myself surrounded with those of sound character and genuine interest in me as a person. Celibacy isn't for everyone and certainly isn't the "norm," but it can be a tool in finding quality rather than quantity. If someone is willing to invest time and effort when there is no sex, they are probably someone that I would be interested in knowing.
 MississippiCajun
Joined: 5/17/2005
Msg: 163
view profile
History
Relationships with morals
Posted: 4/18/2006 7:49:52 AM
I am going to try to put my two bits in without making me sound like a idiot--lol I think that having morals in our lives and lifestyles is wonderful,this is what makes us different from the axe murderers and rapists.I also believe that we tend to go overboard on both sides.If you have certain standards and morals and are looking for a mate--then keep them and find your soul mate and you will be happier in the long run.
I think that lots of people are cuffused ( not that I hold the key to anything,or am the smartest ) Just have my opion is all. But it all comes to the miscomception of two very important words--(1) LOVE (2) LUST
(1)LOVE--takes time to develope and does not come at a spur of the moment-nor does it leave the same way--( True love never fails ) This is something that we have to work on and in time will share.We should become friends first,then become best friends,then comes marriage without losing the best friendship that we have achieved.Often times we become married and will lose the best friendship and this should never happen.(should always remain best friends,for this will keep the marriage together )being best friends will allow each to put the other persons needs above our own.If love was so fast and simple--Jesus would not have COMMANDED us to love our neighbor as ourselves.
(2) LUST--Is just a fast fix and will not last,as with our looks and minds.For what physical atributes that caught our eye and brought out the lust in the first place--will soon fade as will our feelings for that same person. When a man lusts after a woman with big round boobs--when her boobs are at her knees--he will look at her differently.When a woman looks at a man's nice well formed six-pack abbs and his nice smooth flowing hair--when he has a big ole beer belly and no hair--she will look at him differently also. Well both are still the same people, but just changed in apperance.I think that lots of times people chose mates out of lust and not work on love and the inner person,which can maybe explain the high divorce rate in our country.
I myself am guilty of the same thing,we all want someone that is just drop-dead georgeous and that everybody else will just droll over.But love takes time to develope.
Don't ever settle for less than you want and it is ok to set morals. Just a lot of good people may be getting overlooked because of our outward apperance.Sorry if I went too deep or just rambled on.I just felt the urge to write that down.
I just wish that everybody can find the happiness which you are searching for and so rightly deserve.
 designingwoman
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 170
view profile
History
Relationships with morals
Posted: 4/20/2006 8:39:36 PM
Yes, I think that people with alternative beliefs can have a good moral system. Morality is not necessarily something based on religion. Living a life of honor is the best way to be, and that has nothing to do with what church a person attends, or if at all for that matter.
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