Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 ISORealismNOTPerfection
Joined: 1/30/2006
Msg: 207
u can't have a plutonic friendship with opposite sexPage 3 of 50    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)
You can have platonic relationships with the opposite sex, it is called friendship. I have male friends, never has there been a thought of it going further than what it is , friendship. We have hung out, went to dinner together, even went shopping together. lol I have had friends since high school that fit into this category, can honestly say nothing has even been hinted at as far as going further than friendship.
 Double Cabin
Joined: 11/29/2004
Msg: 208
view profile
History
u can't have a plutonic friendship with opposite sex
Posted: 9/17/2006 11:38:18 AM
SHORE! Best 8 month old post EVER! Whoever thought Pluto would be the loneliest number now.

I've sometimes found it a bit difficult being friends with a woman on either side of a one way sexual attraction, but as much man or woman any of us may be we all have the capacity for maturity, restraint, respect, etc. Some of us are more of an anachronysm than others, evolution is a tricky judgement with any gene pool my friends.

 Neonmitch
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 209
u can't have a plutonic friendship with opposite sex
Posted: 9/17/2006 11:50:12 AM
I think it's very difficult, but not impossible, to have a true platonic friendship. I think I've had maybe 3 in my adult life, and even those had a blush of sexual tension underneath. The commonality is that we share something we're truly passionate about, and that common interest binds the friendship.
 ManeRider
Joined: 5/22/2005
Msg: 211
view profile
History
u can't have a plutonic friendship with opposite sex
Posted: 9/17/2006 2:32:52 PM
Imagine that. Just after I learn Pluto is no longer a planet, "platonic" is now "plutonic". The miracles never cease.
 Internetdatingpariah
Joined: 10/17/2004
Msg: 223
u can't have a plutonic friendship with opposite sex
Posted: 10/13/2006 9:17:32 AM
Pluto is no longer a planet so I'm not sure.

But I've had platonic relationships with women all my life.
Nothing like it. Hard discussing your emotions with a guy friend ain't it?
 CoolBreezez
Joined: 8/20/2006
Msg: 226
view profile
History
u can't have a plutonic friendship with opposite sex
Posted: 10/13/2006 1:55:02 PM
Pluto's not gone- he's just been downgraded- to a planetoid or sub-planet or something but he may be back someday! (Theme to Rocky I)

Sure you can have a platonic relationship with the other half, but humans being fallible, we manage to find a way to screw that up too. .

Attractions, hormones and attitudes all play into it. I can just talk and hang with women- they are fun. But after a while, if your single, it can start to wear on you having temptation sitting right there- its like hanging a piece of meat in a basement with a starving dog.

And people will sometimes "use" you for other things too- but its like a victimless crime- after a while both parties should know. I have seen people with their entourage of hapless admirers, each one hoping he/she will be the one to get "picked", broken hearts, groups of "Friends" (look what happened in the TV show even!) etc. Been there, got the T-shirts on both sides.

Their are many types of relationships under the sun here on earth (which is better than Pluto - too fricken' cold for ) with all their complexities, fun, heartaches. But there is always a chance that someone will be looking for more unless it is spelled out in the beginning. THIS CAN HAPPEN TO YOU - and remember- s*** happens. How we deal with it is another story or string.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 228
u can't have a plutonic friendship with opposite sex
Posted: 2/6/2008 2:29:56 PM

Ha ha..."plutonic"...

Anyways, I KNOW it's possible to have a PLATONIC relationship with the opposite sex...


PLUTONIC must be a far out friendship, like groovy, cool, far out.

PLATONIC a friendship not involving sex.

There is also the URANUS relationship where the other person treats you like an a$s.
 that sam i am
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 231
u can't have a plutonic friendship with opposite sex
Posted: 2/7/2008 12:22:58 AM

If men are from Mars, and women from Venus, and we live on Earth - how does Pluto enter into a friendship? That's pretty far out!
Wow! You know.... since the time of your post, Pluto is no longer a planet.
 kpooks
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 237
view profile
History
u can't have a plutonic friendship with opposite sex
Posted: 1/3/2009 5:10:24 PM
Smoochie, ya might as well laugh about this and accept it. Only if he's gay or finds you absolutely unattractive, guys are hounds and sex is always, always, always a glimmer in the back of any our minds...any red-blooded heterosexual man (or woman, as you pointed out) with an ounce of libido is going to recognize and appreciate your visual stimulation. Whether we GET sex is up to you.
 sweet_n_heart
Joined: 1/31/2007
Msg: 250
u can't have a plutonic friendship with opposite sex
Posted: 1/4/2009 3:32:25 PM
It's possible to be JUST friends with the opposite sex. I mean ya it's also possible to end up haven a phyical relationship with a friend, like over time realize you like them for then just a friends.. but really in the end it depends on each person and what they really want.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 254
u can't have a plutonic friendship with opposite sex
Posted: 1/5/2009 9:32:06 AM
I have many guy friends (mostly online but met a lot of em) and one of my best friends is a guy and I have never done anything with them.

Classic line said by many girls, and is a situation held by many, too...

I have been friends with my best guy friend for 8-9 years and it has always been just a friendship nothing has ever come up to think otherwise.

These CAN be the exceptions -- friends from grade school and whatnot. For true no-sexual-tension/inner-drama to be had by one of the parties, usually they have to be very distinctly different people, one out of the league of the other and both maturely aware of that, or one at least been in a happy marriage along with a friendship of their SO -- but even those things are not 100% guarantees.

I believe, yes, of course, you can be friends with the opposite sex without anything sexual occurring. However, the question is can you have a truly genuine plutonic friendship with the opposite sex, periodically hanging out *one-on-one*, when you're both straight and single -- all while each party has only plutonic emotions in mind? HIGHLY UNLIKELY.

Just being honest -- and I think many girls DO know this deep down, but over time, just aren't aware of it anymore, since it really isn't necessarily a big deal in many situations.

It all begs the question about the beginning, and what type of 'friendship' it is (more than an acquaintance). If a guy and girl hang out, one-on-one, watch rentals together, go out to the bar one-on-one, etc. -- there'd have to be a real RARE circumstance to support the plutonic argument, as to how and why they became "friends".

Scenario 1: Group of guy-friends - when a girl has this, you can bet the house that more than 1 of the guys does have an attraction to her, and if most are single along with she, you can bet than more than 1 of the guys does think about, at least from time to time, her in a naughty way and visualizing hopeful options in that light. Many times the girl will think the same thing about one of the guys when she's single and has no other options on the side.

Scenario 2: One-on-One guy-friend - when a girl has this, both straight and single, and they physically hang out one-on-one periodically, 99/100 times they're fooling themselves into thinking -at least- one isn't fond of the other. It doesn't have to be a crush, and there doesn't have to be any immediate expectations... but come on -- practically impossible for there to be plutonic-only mindsets wholly covering this two-way street.

One-on-One friends: Some girls like genuine attention that can be brought by friends-only, and some guys will be on that "friendship ladder", thinking they can maybe get on the "dating ladder" at some point. Doesn't mean they don't like the girl as a friend at the same time. But some guys can be "attention whores", meaning they put out attention, caring, and understanding, and a girl sees him as "A Nice Guy", while the guy thinks he's making inroads.

Again, Just because you haven't had sexual relations with a particular opp-sex friend, does not mean it was plutonicly minded on both sides the whole time! Not counting acquaintances here -- that's a different story.
 di999
Joined: 11/11/2008
Msg: 255
u can't have a plutonic friendship with opposite sex
Posted: 1/9/2009 2:27:56 PM
Harry and Sally end up married deciding to get married ....
The entire point of the movie is that men and women can't really be friends, the relationship is sexualized in some way for one party or the other..if they are single
If both are married it still cause issues....
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 256
u can't have a plutonic friendship with opposite sex
Posted: 1/9/2009 4:29:29 PM

....a plutonic friendship with opposite sex


.... sounds toxic any way you look at it... friends, opposite sex, same sex, missionary sex, kinky sex, solo sex....

... not sure I'd EVER be prepared to introduce plutonium to ANY relationship...

... just sayin'.....




 Arabianangel
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 269
u can't have a plutonic friendship with opposite sex
Posted: 5/2/2009 12:15:26 AM
Most of my friends are guys, but then again the majority are gay! I agree with the posters that have said it comes down to "attraction"...they become friends because there is NO attraction to begin with lol...
 8soldierfalcon8
Joined: 2/16/2009
Msg: 270
u can't have a plutonic friendship with opposite sex
Posted: 5/2/2009 1:06:15 AM
Anyone who can't have a platonic relationship with the opposite sex, especially an attractive member of the opposite sex has got some problems.

I've consistantly had many, many platonic friends of the opposite sex... both not so attractive and smoking hot. I would never do anything with any of them.

Case closed for me.... but everyone is different. By this guy telling the OP it's a "copout" or whatever, that just means he couldn't handle it and he's probably kind of stupid.
 Arabianangel
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 271
u can't have a plutonic friendship with opposite sex
Posted: 5/2/2009 1:10:46 AM
^^^^^^^^^there is a difference between "attractive" and "attracted to"....
 8soldierfalcon8
Joined: 2/16/2009
Msg: 273
u can't have a plutonic friendship with opposite sex
Posted: 5/2/2009 2:16:15 AM
Perhaps it just depends on the person.

Because I have a lot of platonic female friends....

But I do have a problem with female friends developing feelings for me. This is usually not an issue because I am usually not single for long. However, I am getting really tired of it. I have a circle of friends I hang out with- mostly female, and over half have approached me in some way, shape or form now. Sooo maybe it's a bit more rare than I thought before. Perhaps the only reason it works for me is because I am not a walking penis like many other men are. My guy friends all think I'm ridiculous and call me "gay" and things of that nature for basically not acting like a walking, breeding pig.

So I partially retract what I said before. I think it only works if at least one party involved is in good control of their hormones.
 singleagain66
Joined: 12/29/2007
Msg: 275
u can't have a plutonic friendship with opposite sex
Posted: 5/2/2009 6:26:17 AM
I have plenty of female friends and we are just that FRIENDS
 Zephyr2553
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 276
u can't have a plutonic friendship with opposite sex
Posted: 5/2/2009 6:30:30 AM
You could have a Plutonic relationship but only with an alien....I hear Pluto is a great planet to visit but I wouldn't want to live there

As far as platonic relationships go....I think it is entirely possible. I love my dad and my three brothers....wouldn't sleep with any of them...unless I lived in the Ozarks...

....and they played a good banjo
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 280
view profile
History
u can't have a plutonic friendship with opposite sex
Posted: 5/2/2009 9:56:49 PM
I have a platonic female friend, a platonic ex-girl-friend and a platonic ex-wife. You put away the sexual nature of a man/woman and you put on the brother/sister nature instead. It means not being at the mercy of your sexual desires, but celebrating other kinds of love instead.
 pittbull29
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 282
u can't have a plutonic friendship with opposite sex
Posted: 5/2/2009 11:33:31 PM
Sad, but true. There is only two ways that this can work.
1 He is not attracted to you at all. Good luck there. You're too attractive to begin with.
2 He's gay.

Case closed
 goodkindacrazy
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 284
view profile
History
u can't have a plutonic friendship with opposite sex
Posted: 5/3/2009 9:25:19 PM

Can a man still have a "platonic" friendship with an ex girlfriend or vica versa?


I am platonic friends with an ex-boyfriend. Our relationship didn't end badly, we just realized that we weren't meant to have a long lasting romantic relationship. I care for him a lot and think he is a great guy, just not the one for me. Several months back me and my kids spent a few days at his house for a hurricane and we shared a bed. Nothing of a sexual nature happened. (although, I have to admit, even though I did not want anything to happen I was a little disconcerted that he didn't even try, lol, yeah I know, completely illogical)
 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 285
u can't have a plutonic friendship with opposite sex
Posted: 5/3/2009 10:39:21 PM
Why not. I know alot of guys like that. Some already have girlfriends they don't want to stray from.

I know one, although he's 46 never married, he won't touch a woman sexually, let alone look at a woman in shorts. He won't do anything till he's married.
 jrbickers123
Joined: 6/9/2008
Msg: 287
view profile
History
u can't have a plutonic friendship with opposite sex
Posted: 5/4/2009 1:21:55 AM
well from what i can gather this guy is the jealous type. most guys dont go so overboard about it unless they got something they are fighting for. in this case i think this guy would categorize his conversation with you as "i was talking with my girl" while you say "i was having a conversation with a guy i know". he's hoping theres a relationship there, he's fighting to try and make you his while you're just at that friend stage. and its pretty obvious because thats his confession in the first place. he just said he believes that talking with someone of the opposite sex is only for sexual purposes, so why is he talking with you? (anyone can see that one :P)

but to answer you're question, yes its very possible to have plutonic friendships with people of the opposite sex. some of my best friends have been girls and not once have i ever thought anything sexually about them, because there are just some people that regardless of how smokin' hot they are, or the fact that they have another X instead of a Y, i just don't even have the thought cross my mind of sex because my requirements for an intimate relationship are way different than my requirements for a plutonic relationship. sure there are times when the two overlap and things have their awkward moments.

and for that guy? i think he's a jealous guy that either is making that story up or comes from one of those religious fanatic compounds in utah or wherever :P
 mortalez
Joined: 4/9/2005
Msg: 293
u can't have a plutonic friendship with opposite sex
Posted: 6/3/2009 2:11:27 AM
if any of you women who believe your MALE buddies are really just your friends, then offer them sex, if you are right he will refuse, if you are wrong, he gets the sex and the lie is exposed.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  >