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 NoxzemaWA
Joined: 2/19/2017
Msg: 49
Should you call a guy or let him call you Page 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
If you want to call him, call him. There should be some reciprocity though. One party shouldn't be doing all the work. Sitting around waiting for men to call, initiate dates, etc is dumb and you're going to be single for a LONG time with that passive attitude.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 50
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Should you call a guy or let him call you
Posted: 2/28/2017 4:13:43 PM
It would depend on how established the relationship is. IN the beginning I believe in letting the guy do the chasing but the modern day woman may disagree. We let them chase us until we catch them... If you are doing most of the calling then that is not a good sign. I believe in tit for tat.
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 51
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Should you call a guy or let him call you
Posted: 2/28/2017 4:23:49 PM
I don' t call
I don't text
I leave it in their hands.
Not for old fashion reason for which I'm old school,
But
For reasons, I don't care to bother ppl.

If the relationship is established then yes I call.
 Nestaron
Joined: 3/22/2016
Msg: 52
Should you call a guy or let him call you
Posted: 3/11/2017 10:03:46 AM
I take my time calling woman letting things stew a bit, some woman are okay with others take the initiative to call me and see what is up. I guess it's whatever your comfort level is and the effect the guy has on you really.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 53
Should you call a guy or let him call you
Posted: 3/11/2017 11:49:22 AM
I say women should not make the first call. Why risk rejection when most guys will do it when they are interested?
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 54
Should you call a guy or let him call you
Posted: 3/11/2017 12:42:34 PM
LOL "stew a bit".

When I was free to date, numerous times, a man would get back to me, DAYS later / WEEKS later, and he would sound surprised when I told him,
"I have moved on".
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It's quite simple actually, It means, you led me to believe you had better things to do, than reply to my message, so I have moved forward, moved on. Surely, you didn't think I was sittin' at home wringin' my hands, waitin for you, did you?"

Hello?
Anybody there?
 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 55
Should you call a guy or let him call you
Posted: 3/11/2017 2:05:26 PM
Another Q (now over 12 years old) on an OLD site that illustrates quite clearly why so many will fail miserably at OLD. Over 18 K views and just 56 responses as I type this...

Of course it IS everyone's perogative to live in the RW. The current one. The 2017 one.

According to Forbes, (just one of oodles of Online sources available) total enrollment for WOMEN in college has exceeded that of men since the late SEVENTIES. And the gap has continued to widen ever since. One need not be a Rocket Scientist to figure out WHY. And I am not insinuating in an any way, shape or form that at least one of these women in the last 40 +/- years was not in some way threatened by her parent/s to attend college or be disowned or cut from our will or...

No woman of ANY age should ever (at any place) make the "first move" to initiate " interaction" with any man she does not "know". IF she has no trouble whatsoever pulling out the "I am Old Fashioned" card.

OR... She is one of THOSE women who are quite sure the earth is flat. Or that all the moon landings were faked. Or that WE (the US) blew up the WTC in NY. Or any woman who believes that Blacks are way too dumb to ever play quarterback Could or should not ever be allowed to run our country. The list is endless.

IF/WHEN people who frequent these Forums stop typing long enough to actually do some reading and pay attention, it becomes quite apparent that many if not most of the Forum women who have come and gone over the last 10 years/possibly still here, accomplished their OLD goal because they had no trouble initiating contact. Also, more guys had more success/ better matches when they RECEIVED emails.

Both of these are exactly what one would expect on the original FREE dating site and currently the largest OLD site according to their own stats.

At the very least, LEARN TO USE THE AVAILABLE SITE FEATURES. THEY ARE ALL AVAILABLE (up above) for a reason. The # of Forum dinosaurs (both women AND men) who seem forever clueless as to how they work/what they do never ceases to amaze me.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 56
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Should you call a guy or let him call you
Posted: 3/11/2017 2:29:01 PM
ladyinred

Spot on. If the guy takes his own sweet time to call then he is looking at other options, is not that interested and he can piss off. Especially if you have sent a message and he has responded within a certain period. Had a guy call 12 months later after I said I was not interested. I didnt recognise his number as I had deleted it long before. I told him to get my number out of his directory and try someone else. Was I waiting around for some guy to call out of the past? I dont think so.
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 57
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You stews you lose
Posted: 3/11/2017 2:29:07 PM
LIR
LOL "stew a bit"

*laughing along with LadyInRed*
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 58
You stews you lose
Posted: 3/12/2017 10:13:50 AM
It doesn't have to be exactly 50-50. But there is nothing with a woman sometimes making first contact. If one person rarely or never initiates contact, then the other person may feel that (s)he is not interested. When a woman is ( almost ) always waiting for a man to make contact, he may decide to go out with another woman that was more assertive.
 Nestaron
Joined: 3/22/2016
Msg: 59
Should you call a guy or let him call you
Posted: 3/12/2017 10:51:33 AM
You are not a guys only option if you think that he either has a sad life or you are delusional. There is nothing wrong with waiting a couple days to call a woman after she gives you her phone number on initial contact. There is also nothing wrong for a woman to call a guy and leave a message or text him as the case maybe nowadays it's no longer a should or shouldn't scenario for either gender. Usually a woman who is more aggressive, and takes action has higher chance of success cause no guy is going to turn down a woman he gave his number to. If you are messaging back, and forth that is a different scenario, I was referring to ladies outside exchanging phone numbers in the "real world" that is how I took that statement.

Being a guy who doesn't have a cell phone, smartphone or any such device she could end up waiting a couple days for the call, if a woman calls me she is showing interest I might forget about the woman who didn't. It's a matter of sure interest over a maybe interested and yet to find out. Guys are taking the sure interest every time hence why majority of ladies here have problems, no initiative you either act or you are left wanting same as guys.

Guys found out is if a woman gives you her number you call to soon you are needy, clingy and undesirable. Take too long you miss out and woman says you should have called me sooner, guy is like I got your number yesterday. But reality is she found someone that peeked her interest more, and rather than be honest about it easier to put the blame on the guy. Then there are guys like me that say this is who I am this is how I am, I am a man of my word, and if you dont like it frankly my dear I dont give a damn.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 60
Should you call a guy or let him call you
Posted: 3/12/2017 11:38:09 AM

I leave it in their hands.
Not for old fashion reason for which I'm old school,
But
For reasons, I don't care to bother ppl.



That would really suck if the other person had the same type of feelings/beliefs about bothering people.

I just have this vision of two people, in two different places, staring at their phones in deathly silence, other than that worry about bothering people bouncing around in their individual heads.
 ICULQQKIN
Joined: 12/12/2014
Msg: 61
Should you call a guy or let him call you
Posted: 3/12/2017 4:17:06 PM
If you are not sure whether to call a man first but you want to show some initiative in that you are interested in him, a good way to do that is to tell him you would be fine with him calling you. If he isn't interested, chances are he won't call. It is way for yoiu to gauge his interest without feeling foolish perhaps if you call him and he doesn't show inteerst in you.
 RoxyMoronic
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 62
Should you call a guy or let him call you
Posted: 3/12/2017 4:27:46 PM
I find msg 55 strange
I eat too much salt= run the risk of a heart attack
I ride my bike way too fast=run the risk of coming off (and have indeed had a serious injury)
I cook while drinking= run the risk of burning myself (been there too)
Rejection risk? kinda pales into insignificance
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 63
Should you call a guy or let him call you
Posted: 3/12/2017 4:33:01 PM
^^^^


Hopefully Hemingway won't read your post lest his mind be totally blown to smithereens


....then again, going by his pic...prolly already happened
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 64
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Should you call a guy or let him call you
Posted: 3/12/2017 5:01:24 PM
I think you should be yourself, do what you would normally do or want to do, and then the other person can either like you as you are, or not, and neither one of you waste each other's time. But hey, I'm too lazy to put on an act. :-)
 Damilovely
Joined: 12/23/2014
Msg: 65
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Should you call a guy or let him call you
Posted: 3/16/2017 5:37:02 AM
It depends on the type of relationship one is seeking.

Most long term stable relationships will depend on the man making the initial effort to establish the connection.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 66
Should you call a guy or let him call you
Posted: 3/16/2017 7:16:05 AM
out of curiousity, why does it rely on the man? Can't a woman choice a stable partner, seduce him, and thus have a long term relationship by her own hand?
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 67
Should you call a guy or let him call you
Posted: 3/16/2017 8:01:17 AM

Most long term stable relationships will depend on the man making the initial effort to establish the connection.


Is there some scientific study that says if the man does the initial chasing, the relationship is bound to be more stable? What happens if a woman doesn't like the guy who is chasing her, and the guy she's interested in is not chasing her? Is she suppose to sit on her throne and wait for the guy she wants to change his mind, and see the light?
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 68
Should you call a guy or let him call you
Posted: 3/16/2017 8:38:09 AM
"Most long term stable relationships will depend on the man making the initial effort to establish the connection"



It's true because even if the couple involved are 2 very compatible , emotionally healthy individuals the relationship will ultimately fail simply because the female made the first move.


The couple will be out one day having a great time, having some laughs but then suddenly....break up for no other reason than the fact that the female made the first move.


( eye roll x INFINITY )
 Mz_Informed
Joined: 11/15/2016
Msg: 69
Should you call a guy or let him call you
Posted: 3/16/2017 6:33:30 PM
I don't understand why some people believe that the man should be the one to pursue. Why shouldn't a woman show that she's interested in someone? I don't get this double standard.

And dear god, the lesbians...going through life not being able to show interest in another woman :|
 flamingjune1960
Joined: 6/24/2014
Msg: 70
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Should you call a guy or let him call you
Posted: 3/17/2017 8:21:47 PM
I believe it is a personal preference. Some women prefer that type of guy, the one who makes the first move and does the pursuing and some men prefer that type of woman.
For me, I am not the pursuing type, initially. I have sent a few first messages, I'm not completely opposed to doing so. I just prefer that type of guy. The kind of man that interests me is not pushing the "meet me" button and hoping I might look at his profile. I find that little game quite annoying. I'm not a paid member, with ALL of it's MANY privileges :) so I can't see their profiles anyway. I'm sure there are many men out there who feel the same and only want to meet women who do the pursuing. C'est la vie
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 71
Should you call a guy or let him call you
Posted: 3/19/2017 8:53:44 AM

I don't understand why some people believe that the man should be the one to pursue. Why shouldn't a woman show that she's interested in someone? I don't get this double standard.

And dear god, the lesbians...going through life not being able to show interest in another woman :|


I agree that this shouldn't have to be a general rule / trend that applies to most potential relationships. While I have talked to and/or dated women that were more traditional / old fashioned and stated that they wanted a man to initiate contact most of the time, the majority of my dates were with women that were assertive to some degree.
 LucilleDixon
Joined: 12/18/2016
Msg: 72
Should you call a guy or let him call you
Posted: 3/19/2017 4:14:16 PM

When I was free to date, numerous times, a man would get back to me, DAYS later / WEEKS later, and he would sound surprised when I told him,
"I have moved on".
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It's quite simple actually, It means, you led me to believe you had better things to do, than reply to my message, so I have moved forward, moved on. Surely, you didn't think I was sittin' at home wringin' my hands, waitin for you, did you?"


I had this happen to me...kind of. We didn't meet online, though. We knew each other from work. We finally started talking and when I asked if it was going to go anywhere, he basically told me no because we lived too far apart. After that, I didn't feel like there was much more to discuss so I just quit communicating with him. Well, he called a few months later and asked me why I'd stop talking to him. I didn't tell him exactly why, just that he seemed like he didn't want to be bothered and I don't people that don't want to be bothered with me. I really couldn't understand why he felt the need to ask that.
 Damilovely
Joined: 12/23/2014
Msg: 73
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Should you call a guy or let him call you
Posted: 5/29/2017 3:14:01 AM
Interesting. Why one woman didn't want to be anyone's girlfriend. http://motto.time.com/4795013/date-multiple-people-at-once/
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