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 VirtuallyLove
Joined: 9/8/2011
Msg: 296
The Dog or the Girl? Page 15 of 19    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)
To offer a semi-contrarian view -

While I would regard any form of ultimatum, particularly early on a relationship, as unacceptable (assuming the ultimatum didn't involve health issues), my valuing of a pet would not even roughly approximate my valuing of a human partner. She comes first in all things.
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 297
The Dog or the Girl?
Posted: 10/6/2011 3:52:56 PM

While I would regard any form of ultimatum, particularly early on a relationship, as unacceptable (assuming the ultimatum didn't involve health issues), my valuing of a pet would not even roughly approximate my valuing of a human partner. She comes first in all things.


I disagree...before attachment develops to a human you should ALREADY know that the human you are attached to is not into your pets at all.

I know within a half hour if someone is genuinly into dogs or not. You just know.

In early stages of dating, if you see your date showing signs she doesnt like being around your dog, then flush out the reason. If she doesnt like its behaviour, deal with it and move on.(ie do the work of owning a dog and train it to behave!) If you cant/refuse to deal with it, then break up with your date.
Its very simple.

Why would anyone who took on the responsibility of pet ownership purposely go down a road that leads to falling in love with a dog disliker when you are responsible for a dog? Talk about stupid, and reckless towards your responsibilities to that animal.

On Topic-I would also choose my pet. No exceptions. It is grossly unfair to give up on a pet that has lived with you for years, depends on you for everything. Older pets tend to not get adopted, end up being killed. I would lose ALL respect for a man who was willing to ditch his pet for me.

My dogs are well trained. My fathers family are all hunters, and all own gun dogs who work with the hunters. I have always been around dogs that looked to thier master for all direction and I have trained my dogs the same way, except for the hunting stuff. If anyone has an issue with them there isnt anything I can do to improve the situation. They are not in my bed etc...so the man would have to go if he didnt like my dogs as they are as good as any dog will ever be already. Why put yourself and your pets through that?
 statemachine500
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 298
The Dog or the Girl?
Posted: 10/6/2011 5:19:58 PM
Well first she wants you to get rid of your dog and then what?What follows that act?Most animal lovers feel at ease with other like minded people.
 five-marie
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 299
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History
The Dog or the Girl?
Posted: 10/6/2011 6:25:40 PM
I originally posted to this thread in 2010. I see not many agreed with me. I still think the op had a problem regarding his pet.
My ex once woke me up in the middle of the night to move over, he needed more room in the bed. I looked at our dog sleeping next to him, sprawled out over at least 1/3 of the bed. He would not move the dog, wake the dog, he woke me and made me move over.
We had a coffee table that had a wooden bottom. The dog would run through the table making claw marks on the wood. I tried to train him to stop. When our baby crawled through the same spot my ex said if the dog couldn't do it then the baby couldn't.
I think the point of this thread is being obsessed about pets/treating them better than people.
Most people love animals/their pets. I always did. I have also never had a problem with anyone's pet that I've since dated. (Sometimes I liked their pet better than them.)
If 3 women are giving the op that ultimation I think it's probably because he's a problem where his pet is concerned. Some people do become strangely obsessed with their pets.
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 301
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History
The Dog or the Girl?
Posted: 10/7/2011 4:16:19 PM

Don't let the door hit you on the back of the ass on the way out!


As opposed to you hitting the 'front side of the ass', before they leave?
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 302
The Dog or the Girl?
Posted: 10/7/2011 4:18:06 PM
I am not obsessed with my cat. I feed her, love her and take care of her, I give my cat the basic necessities it needs. She's been there for me more than a lot of females upon here I'll tell ya that. When I have friends/date over my cat goes about her business doing it's own thing.
 RotationAxle
Joined: 7/20/2011
Msg: 303
The Dog or the Girl?
Posted: 10/7/2011 4:34:26 PM

Sorry, the kid that sticks a sharp stick in my dog's eye will just have to learn to live with the scar. Same thing if they try to pull her tail when she's eating.


Agreed. The dog should not die for defending itself.
 good_dreams
Joined: 9/14/2011
Msg: 304
The Dog or the Girl?
Posted: 10/7/2011 4:50:25 PM
I think there is something missing from the OPs story also. Like specifically what the nature of the problem was. I am pretty sure it just didn't start at "the dog goes or I go" and the fact that no details are described makes me not want to place fault with the women he was dating.

Very few people are going to come out and say something like that or dislike animals so much that they would create that kind of issue over it, BUT for instance he mentions in one of his first posts he wakes up with the dog in the bed... some people do not like that. Lots of things could have happened that would upset a normal common sense person into saying enough is enough but the OP does not go into detail to say specifically what the problem was. That doesn't make sense.

I have always had dogs, two at the moment both house dogs. Also was married to a veterinarian for 12 years so I can say I am a bonafide animal lover, but I am not gonna defend the OP and his dog because it really sounds like there is more to the story to me
 BrownInOrange
Joined: 7/30/2011
Msg: 305
The Dog or the Girl?
Posted: 10/7/2011 6:48:03 PM
Best Friend over girl you just met?

Kind of a no-brainer.
 flittery1
Joined: 8/19/2011
Msg: 306
The Dog or the Girl?
Posted: 10/7/2011 8:29:37 PM
Ohhhhh.. DEFINITELY picking my dog over some schmuck who said he had to go.
 meowsaidthetigress
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 307
The Dog or the Girl?
Posted: 10/8/2011 12:59:12 AM
^ Agreed my sweet Chomper protects me, sleeps at the foot of my bed when Im sick,
and drags me around on his leash making me get exercise! Now If a guy would do that...
 irishgirl524
Joined: 9/4/2011
Msg: 308
The Dog or the Girl?
Posted: 10/8/2011 4:42:29 AM
I have three american pitbulls, and I had someone break it off with me because my dogs were scary to him, had another that would never come in my house because of them. My oldest female is 14, and the younger two are 3, my dogs are members of my family, and if they cant accept them I am sorry but they were here first. Any one with common sense would not try to make you chose......the DOGS will always win.
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 310
The Dog or the Girl?
Posted: 10/8/2011 5:30:01 AM

If 3 women are giving the op that ultimation I think it's probably because he's a problem where his pet is concerned. Some people do become strangely obsessed with their pets.


Could be...or it could be that many people do not understand the time it takes to maintain good behaviour in a dog...Its not like humans where you teach them something and then move on. Maintaining leadership is in every move we make, 100% of the time. A dogs brain is wired to always seek to be higher within thier pack-it is thier survival instinct...and one slip from thier human leader means the dog thinks it has jumped 'up a level' and you have to start all over again. (ie deciding to allow the dog on the bed).

Many I have invited over simply dont follow my lead when I say 'make sure YOU go through the doorway first'. They internally mock me, dont do it, then get upset when my dog does not listen to them 5 seconds later...and they dont get it, that they sent a subtle que to the dog that its OK to be a leader to the human, because the human did not act like a leader. Dogs if not in the presence of a leader, will try to assume the role.

In our society is is 'acceptable' to get a dog, lavish it with love, toys and even clothes...but hardley anyone tries to be that dogs leader until the dog ages and what they found adorable as a pup is no longer adorable. Aggresssion and dominant behaviour looks hilarious when a pup does it, ( we even award thousands of dollars on tv, like america funniest videos for pup vids where they are bearing thier teeth and growling...so stupid) not so much a full grown dog. This is the every day dog owner and 'my way' is very different. I am called 'mean' by many...but I have the most content and happy dogs you will ever meet. They are stress free, because I make sure they dont have to stress about who is in charge (dogs DO stress out about that!)

People who dont know dogs often will get jealous of the time a good dog owner must spend reinforcing good behaviour. Training never ends. They NEED to be walked a MINIMUM of an hour everyday, and they require mental stimulation. Those who dont have dogs, or themselves are not good dog owners, just dont get it.

Being a good dog owner is a lifestyle. I wont skip a walk to go on a date. Some men dont like that. Too bad for them. And they did/do complain to others about my lack of flexibility on these issues. If someone didnt know better thay could assume me and my dogs are a 'problem'. However, they are not at all...but it takes time and effort.

Having dogs, I wont even consider dating a man who doesnt get it. All that would happen is they would undermine my training and Id be fighting against them. Not gonna happen. Same as if you were against hitting children as discipline, you should never date/spend alot of time with-someone who thinks hitting children is acceptable.

The OP has dogs that are trained to hunt. I know from personal experience with my Dads hunting dogs-that is a level of training the average person has no clue about. In fact, it is a dying tradition with hunting being on the decline. People often thought my dad was mean to his dogs. Total ooposite. Those dogs LIVED for thier DAILY training sessions. When fall hit, and Dad started cleaning the guns etc...those dogs would twirl and prance...so frickin happy and excited to go to work for real...they are fullfilled dogs and could be on tv for the way they listen to my Dad. When my dad was single, many a woman would not stick around...until my step Mom. She also came from a huinting background and her face literally lit up when she met my dads dogs. She knew exactly what to do, what not to do and fell into the role of leader instantly. She had no issues because she knew what it was all about. She joioned them on hunts and those dogs never once second guessed her authority.

It will take a special, educated woman on this subject to understand the time and effort the OP has to invest in his hunting dog(s).

I am sooo glad that tv shows like cesar millan and a few others are becoming the mainstream. In N America, we humanise dogs. We think if we are content to watch tv all day that our dogs are too. We give them lots of love but we dont set boundaries. Many dogs in N America love thier owners...but they dont RESPECT thier owners and that is a disaster just waiting to happen.

I can call my dogs off of chasing a rabbit or squirrel. If you cannot do that, you have not invested enough time in training. I can walk anywhere off leash with my dogs and it looks like there is an invisable leash on them. If you cannot do that, you have not invested enough time in training....and yeah...the average chick who comes along will not 'get it' at all and will deem the dog owner who does invest the time as the problem...because her little binky doesnt need all that time! (her little binky bites and growls when it doesnt get its way, but thats ok, right? binky is soooo cute afterall!! lololol)
 SpecificTruths
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 311
The Dog or the Girl?
Posted: 10/8/2011 6:54:32 AM
^^^ Love that post, femaleconnection.

I cherish my dog for many reasons. As I type this out, he's laying down taking a post-breakfast nap; he gets at least an hour of exercise a day and is layed back around the house. If I had a nickel for everyone I knew who had an under-exercised dog around. Can't expect them to behave without that exercise!

Yes, humanizing a dog is very wrong. One of the reasons I got into my wife so much while we were dating is that she thinks along the same lines as me. The dog isn't a human baby/child, he's a dog and has his place in our pack. He has his own bed, his own food, his own personal objects, and his own rules/boundaries that we enforce every single day. He respects us, and takes our cues as to when it's okay to approach for a scratch, when playtime begins and ends, and that he can only get on couches and such when invited by the human sitting there. He's so good about couches that when we're gone, he doesn't use the couch (he leaves hair evidence behind wherever he goes; no hair on the couch!).

That being said, I've had my dog a while and never has a female tried to get between us. In fact, the "binky" situation you describe above was tried by one girl and the dog completely took advantage of her when he could (when I wasn't looking, dogs can be crafty in social situations) which pissed her off. She just didn't get it and thought I was being "harsh" with my dog simply because I demand his utmost respect. Oh well, I wouldn't want a humanizer as a partner anyway.

I always want to have a dog around for a running/hunting/canoeing buddy, plus it's nice having a "sentry" at the house who would give his/her life up for me if push came to shove. So, we'd either have to find a hypoallergenic one or we wouldn't be together in the first place.

As for getting rid of my current dog for a woman? Uh, no.


I can walk anywhere off leash with my dogs and it looks like there is an invisable leash on them. If you cannot do that, you have not invested enough time in training

I do that, but not when we walk through the city. It just makes me too nervous...
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 312
The Dog or the Girl?
Posted: 10/8/2011 3:53:36 PM
Dog, no
Motorcycle, yes.
And when you leave because you hate my bike, and the time I spend on it, I may go buy another in celebration or depression - in anycase; the bike was here before you, it is here now inspite of you, and get biatchy about it; it will long survive your tenure here.

And yes, the bike DOES belong in my living room.
 kcladyz
Joined: 8/7/2009
Msg: 313
The Dog or the Girl?
Posted: 10/8/2011 6:48:53 PM
I love dogs!!!!!!! I want to hug them all!! :)
 HerImperfectsoul
Joined: 9/16/2008
Msg: 314
The Dog or the Girl?
Posted: 10/12/2011 11:53:45 AM
I went out with a man one time and I do mean ONE time.. His dog bit me on the one and only date.The worst part was,, He never even punished the dog for it lol...I never called him again and nor did he ever call me back lol...
 viper1j
Joined: 11/30/2005
Msg: 315
The Dog or the Girl?
Posted: 10/12/2011 12:56:21 PM

^ Agreed my sweet Chomper protects me, sleeps at the foot of my bed when Im sick, and drags me around on his leash making me get exercise! Now If a guy would do that...


Most will protect you..

Don't know about that sleeping at the foot of the bed thing, though..

I'll put a leash on you and drag you around, but are you sure you want that?
 Branzoli
Joined: 7/18/2011
Msg: 316
The Dog or the Girl?
Posted: 10/13/2011 12:59:58 AM
the dog 100% if she loves u she loves the dog
 Jer13601
Joined: 1/30/2011
Msg: 317
The Dog or the Girl?
Posted: 10/13/2011 1:21:22 AM
My turn to weigh in. My pets before anyone else. 'Nuff said.
 aloeverakills
Joined: 3/13/2011
Msg: 319
The Dog or the Girl?
Posted: 10/13/2011 5:56:26 PM
My husband married me even though I have 5 cats, a turtle, and an excellent dog.

However, when I first got my dog I was dating someone, and three weeks after he split because he thought I was inconsiderate to get a pup.. Even though the guy was all for it until he realized I was a better trainer, and the dog respected me, and liked me, and does anything for me... My hubby can`t do much more than be a puppy next to me, hehe. I`m training my hubby too though on that issue.
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 320
The Dog or the Girl?
Posted: 10/13/2011 8:41:33 PM
Yes my cat would come before a female any day. But I am not pet obsessed like some people are that take it to an extreme.
 WanderingRain
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 321
view profile
History
The Dog or the Girl?
Posted: 10/13/2011 10:14:00 PM
A girl who is understanding and loves YOU enough will not need to feel she has to get rid of your dog to be with you.
But yeah, get as much phoontang as you can get before you break it to her...
 lmzme
Joined: 3/8/2006
Msg: 322
The Dog or the Girl?
Posted: 10/14/2011 1:39:07 AM
I say stay with the dog and let the girl go... I have a dog myself and noone comes in between us. He is a great listener and will always be there when relationship ends. Find a girl that loves dogs and the relationship will blossom!!!
 dwarlord
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 323
The Dog or the Girl?
Posted: 10/14/2011 3:33:06 AM
It is simple, my dog stays because he knows the meaning "until death do we part"

The woman has no choice in this matter even if she was the queen of england.

Sounds harsh, but my dog (beenie-weenie = part beagle part datsun) has never let me down and has never given me grief when I walk through the door and is always glad to see me.

Now if I can just find a woman like that lmao.
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