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Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > Would you date a woman with a special needs child?      Home login  
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 Ownerofdogs
Joined: 1/8/2014
Msg: 18
Would you date a woman with a special needs child?Page 4 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Although I may be flamed for it, I couldn't. It's nothing against the child but the possibility of playing step dad alone should the relationship grow beyond dating is straining. Add a handicap, it could be more then the relationship alone could handle. She would have to be more understanding then most in giving me the chance to learn how to relate with the child and learn the roll we'd all have in the relationship. Honestly, for me, that's too much for me to expect of most single mothers.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 19
Would you date a woman with a special needs child?
Posted: 1/31/2014 11:22:05 PM
I'd date any woman that I found compelling enough to date again.

People can get turned off from dates for a bajillion reasons. People live in situations where people depend on them, whether it be for a leadership position at work, or a public office they hold, or being a parent. What makes dating 'difficult' is finding the ability to socialize OUTSIDE of that 'shell' of dependency and allow enough one-on-one time for the date to actually get to know them.

Dating without distractions isn't always easy, but ANY interruption - whether it be from employees on the night shift, children with special needs, or the press seeking an interview about something - is going to hamper that get-to-know-you process. In some cases fixing it is as easy as shutting off your cell phone to avoid distraction, in other cases it can be a logistical nightmare to find a caretaker that's available and inexpensive so you can meet.

Dates who are patient and tolerable of 'emergencies' are NOT going to flee at the first significant sign of distraction -- but if a pattern of several 'emergencies' emerges where it is abundantly clear that dating is nowhere near the top of their priority list, it's going to turn people off eventually. I don't want to compare the needs of a special kid to the tasteless act of endlessly tinkering on Facebook during a date, but hey, a distraction IS a distraction, and lost communication time is a bad thing, regardless of how it happens.

As far as a long-term relationship with a parent of a special needs kid; I would assume if they are coordinated enough to find time to date, that they are coordinated enough to have a pretty good grasp on the caretaking for the kid. If I found out they are being a disorganized 'victim' of their circumstances and are fishing for someone to take over that responsibility, I'd be gone quick. Come to think of it, that would be true of ANY family dating situation. If you can't keep your own house in some semblance of order, you're not going to have much luck convincing someone else to help out.
 Drezzal
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 20
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Would you date a woman with a special needs child?
Posted: 1/29/2015 7:15:02 PM
Yes I would and I already do.

My gf has a baby with DS and she is the most loving and gentle wee thing you will ever meet. I feel privileged just to be part of her life and recommend that you don't limit your options. It's not as scary as you might think ;)
 Peter_Hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 21
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Would you date a woman with a special needs child?
Posted: 3/15/2015 12:08:24 PM

Men - Would you date a woman with a special needs child?

If not, why not?

If your choice not to was based on the fact that you knew nothing of the type of disability the child had, but learned about it, would this change your decision?

I don't need to be flamed for posting this thread, but I'm searching for something long term AND I have a beautiful daughter with Down syndrome so I would like to get a feel for what you all think about this. Ladies, feel free to put your $.02 in on this too.


There is one thing no one brought up was, what impact would a special needs child have on a normal child of the "date".

What I mean is I have a truly " special" child who's IQ exceeds 120. If I were to date and become serious with a woman who had a special needs child, how would that effect my child. Is anyone really going to say that her education and development would not be hindered by a special needs child throwing fits, misbehaving or just having no intellectual contribution?

However, looking out some of the posters on here accused men of being shallow and the fact this issue (^ above) has not been brought up, shows most of the women with special needs kids ASSUMES or EXPECTS to procure a childless man. That really goes to show who is shallow and has a false sense of ENTILTLEMENT!
 antirepublican
Joined: 12/31/2014
Msg: 22
Would you date a woman with a special needs child?
Posted: 3/16/2015 10:15:11 AM
Leave the child or children out of it. I do agree that the children are unique human beings that deserve to be treated as such. Consider the parent themselves. Quite a few of them have screws loose. It's like joining a religion with its own doctrine and dogma that cannot be even questioned. They rank children according to disability. MD is more lovable than Cancer and most prized of all is Down Syndrome where you get to bask in the glow of the Holy Spirit.

No. It doesn't take a special woman to raise a handicapped child. All it takes a tattooed Borderline with a government subsidy and meth habit. No matter how ignorant, abusive or amoral she may be, dogma is that she is automatically a saint worthy of worship and better than any woman who has a normal child.

Fathers fall into this too. I have a friend of many years who has two, shall we say... delicate... children. She has, for the past few years, been trying to re-evaluate her and her children's situation. She is coming to terms with the fact that her own stamina is eroding and that she may survive her children. She has come to realize that she loved her children sooooo much that she may have deprived them of opportunities and a more rewarding life. Unfortunately, Dad is still in the cult and it may kill him because he has medical problems of his own. It sometimes causes undue friction between them. If this guy can't get more objective like his wife, it could be disaster for them all -- parents and children both.

To sum up: Never mind the children. The parent, mother or father, is the one to be cautious about.
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 23
Would you date a woman with a special needs child?
Posted: 3/16/2015 12:25:26 PM

What I mean is I have a truly " special" child who's IQ exceeds 120. If I were to date and become serious with a woman who had a special needs child, how would that effect my child. Is anyone really going to say that her education and development would not be hindered by a special needs child throwing fits, misbehaving or just having no intellectual contribution?

However, looking out some of the posters on here accused men of being shallow and the fact this issue (^ above) has not been brought up, shows most of the women with special needs kids ASSUMES or EXPECTS to procure a childless man. That really goes to show who is shallow and has a false sense of ENTILTLEMENT!

Guess what I raised 2 sons w/ autism & if that was not enough, my baby was Dxed w/ type 1 diabetes 3 days after his 7th b-day. All through that I dated.

from 2003-2006 I dated a P.H.D. in science who had 2 older daughters.
they were the nastiest, spoiled, entitled b1tches who caused constant drama & even had issues w/ the law.
throwing fits, misbehaving or just having no intellectual contribution?
A friend said what was their disease: spoiled?

My kids were disciplined, held accountable & given a structured environment.
My older son has been working since forever, has done much community service & volunteerism & has won local awards.

I understand that other neuro-atypical or cognitively impaired children may be not as fortunate, so I'd take it on a case-by-case basis in regards to dating as I would with "normies". Some of those gawd awful normies throwing fits, misbehaving or just having no intellectual contribution- LMFAO!
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 24
Would you date a woman with a special needs child?
Posted: 3/16/2015 1:21:51 PM
I know of a couple local ladies who have special needs "Kids". I put "Kids" in quotes because they have sons that are both 18 or pushing 18. When you have a kid who's handicapped and throws a tantrum at say age 6 - a lot of times that's manageable for a single parent - or possibly an older sibling or sitter can keep them from hurting themselves - but at age 18 you have a full grown MAN with a mentality of a small child - that's a logistics issue that can't always be easily taken care of.

I wouldn't mind dating either one of them regardless of the child - but they have other life choices that don't match me very well. What I find difficult about that kind of situation is convincing them that the 'deal breaker' isn't about their kid - it's a drinking or smoking habit or some other similar thing. If you turned them down, do you think they'd honestly believe it wasn't their kid?
 Peter_Hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 25
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Would you date a woman with a special needs child?
Posted: 3/20/2015 3:37:06 PM

Guess what I raised 2 sons w/ autism & if that was not enough, my baby was Dxed w/ type 1 diabetes 3 days after his 7th b-day. All through that I dated.

from 2003-2006 I dated a P.H.D. in science who had 2 older daughters.
they were the nastiest, spoiled, entitled b1tches who caused constant drama & even had issues w/ the law.
throwing fits, misbehaving or just having no intellectual contribution?
A friend said what was their disease: spoiled?

My kids were disciplined, held accountable & given a structured environment.
My older son has been working since forever, has done much community service & volunteerism & has won local awards.

I understand that other neuro-atypical or cognitively impaired children may be not as fortunate, so I'd take it on a case-by-case basis in regards to dating as I would with "normies". Some of those gawd awful normies throwing fits, misbehaving or just having no intellectual contribution- LMFAO!


Listen, just to be clear, I was not talking ill of special needs children, only the effect a special needs child household's atmosphere has on gifted children. I understand the social pressure has on special needs parent's psychology to call their children special so they feel better about their children and themselves, but to think that atmosphere won't hinder a gifted child is wishful thinking at it's best.

I understand special needs doesn't always mean Styrofoam helmets or flinging feces, but not all special needs children are "high-functioning autistic" either. There is always exceptions to the rule, but it should be made on a general basis UNLESS SPECIFIED BY THE SPECIAL NEEDS PARENT, not by a case-by-case basis. I shouldn't have to spend significant time dating only to find out the child will be raised by the parent until their death.
 rennips1949
Joined: 3/6/2015
Msg: 26
Would you date a woman with a special needs child?
Posted: 3/24/2015 11:50:08 AM

but to think that atmosphere won't hinder a gifted child is wishful thinking at it's best. [/qquote]
Well, I suppose if one considers the learning of patience, compassion, humility, gratitude and dealing with life's little adversities as "hindrance",that might be true.
 rennips1949
Joined: 3/6/2015
Msg: 27
Would you date a woman with a special needs child?
Posted: 3/24/2015 11:52:19 AM
if it ain't one damn glitch it's another with these forums lately,right?
 ScotnCan
Joined: 6/16/2014
Msg: 28
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Would you date a woman with a special needs child?
Posted: 4/20/2015 5:10:11 PM
Yes I would date a woman with a special needs child. All relationships have their different challenges. Just like any relationship honesty and communication would be key.
 tvanover
Joined: 6/30/2015
Msg: 29
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Would you date a woman with a special needs child?
Posted: 8/1/2016 3:28:01 PM
Yes... women with children are diamonds in the rough
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