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 Marie287
Joined: 8/6/2005
Msg: 31
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?Page 2 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
So when men ask this question....we should lie?
 nipoleon
Joined: 12/27/2005
Msg: 32
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History
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 2/1/2006 1:01:15 PM
Marie:

At your age, I can't imagine you have much to lie about.
 kce33
Joined: 6/2/2005
Msg: 33
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 2/1/2006 2:28:39 PM
well I myself don't pay much attention to numbers now a days because of the total lack of dating knowledge by both sexes...... I see girls and guys running up the numbers by bad dating choices, most would look like a porcupine if they stuck out.....

better have a

kce
 chadskylark
Joined: 1/30/2006
Msg: 34
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 2/1/2006 2:35:13 PM
have you ever had a long term love relationship w/ a woman w/ an extensive history? not just many boyfriends etc, but lots of casual encounters, some w/ people you know/knew? i am looking for someone who can relate....
 real12luv
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 35
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 2/2/2006 7:33:01 AM
I'm with Lake on this one. I dont even wanna know where you been.
 chadskylark
Joined: 1/30/2006
Msg: 36
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 2/2/2006 10:29:48 AM
what if it's too late and she already told you?
 jumpypants
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 37
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 2/21/2006 10:09:20 PM
nipolean,

And a large number of women are batshit crazy, but do not seem so even to an eye that is looking for it. You mix smart + crazy and they can pass a lie detector.

I married one, and it was really bad, and ended with her having an affair.

Ironically, the sane ones tend to be the ones that openly discuss their past, but without bringing it up constantly if you are in a serious relationship.

This in essence is why many men care, or so I think, although the actual sexual odometer is not as important as how bumpy the road they travelled was.
 FantasyFlavor
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 38
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 2/21/2006 10:40:38 PM
Any man who wants to be judgemental of me for whatever reason,
is not my type of man.Particularly judging me for the men I have
loved in my life.
 yaright14me
Joined: 2/17/2008
Msg: 39
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History
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 3/13/2008 6:42:40 PM
the only smart reply i've read so far ..... i never looked at numbers til i met someone i really cared for and it does bother me ... guys really do want to look at their women as being special not some other guys one night stand ....
 vahbsc
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 40
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 3/13/2008 6:44:53 PM
women aren't supposed to do things considered masculine, like having multiple partners.

we're not supposed to fart, burp, shit, or sit with our legs open.

all that is bullshit.
 Greg8002
Joined: 3/11/2008
Msg: 42
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 3/14/2008 5:50:16 AM
I think the number of lovers a woman had alone, is not enough information to judge whether or not she is a good potential partner. One would need to know what sort of relationships she had. Also what is far more important is how the woman acts towards you in the present. The past is not always the best judge of what a person is like in the present.
 Blonde_charm
Joined: 9/18/2007
Msg: 44
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 3/14/2008 1:02:54 PM
I have had men become disinterested when they learned my past number of lovers. And I say, good to know what your limits are and there are no hard feelings.

And I move along.
 xfoxybabe18x
Joined: 12/12/2007
Msg: 45
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 3/14/2008 5:26:27 PM
I don't think it should matter. Some guys are full of themselves, i can't stand men who judge women like that.
 Mister Incognito
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 46
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 3/14/2008 5:29:44 PM

why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?



Because holes get loose.

I don't want to touch a vagina that can whistle in the wind.

funk that.


 plumpassion
Joined: 1/20/2008
Msg: 47
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 3/14/2008 5:44:04 PM
I have two words for you: double standard.
 acute_stimulus
Joined: 11/18/2007
Msg: 48
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 3/15/2008 10:22:31 AM
Technically there should be no difference between a woman's numbers and a guys. You should only concern yourself with 1)if they are STD free and 2)how they like it:P
 simpleman20188
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 50
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 3/15/2008 2:24:55 PM

but if we say we had some past lovers you think we are sluts., and not worthy for a relationship?

Huh???

You must look for the wrong guys.

I see women judging other women on this far more than men.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 51
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 3/15/2008 5:22:22 PM
It isn't "okay" for guys to have gotten laid a lot in the past. I think maybe there's some underlying social pressure to forgive that, but political correctness has never been an influence on that at all.

If a woman has had some past lovers, no, I don't think it's "okay" to think she was a slut.

For both guys and girls, it depends on the timeline of "past". If "past" you mean 3 months ago, yeah, that's going to play a role more than 8 years ago.

And it's not just a number, it's a 'who' when it comes to recent past. If her number is "high", and her last two boyfriends were in jail -- yeah -- that high number is going to be thrown at her. If her number is high but that was back in the day (years ago; college; etc), then it shouldn't be that big of a deal if she's got her life together. A clue as to whether a woman has her life together does reflect who her last boyfriend or two was like on a general scale.
 seanbrwn
Joined: 7/18/2006
Msg: 52
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 3/16/2008 1:44:41 AM
OP,

First, the number in itself isn't so important, but rather the timline/timeframe of accumulation of partners that's alarming.

Someone will have every right to find out any indication about someone living a promiscuous lifestyle or serious one, based on past experience.

If you've slept with five men last year or last week, I'm quite sure you'll come across different facial expressions.

If you're involved with someone you feel strongly about, and the question is asked, just answer it to the best of your ability and go from there, don't harp over it

And if asked why, stop the bs......you'll gain more respect being honest

And no, there isn't a double-standard

I find it funny that women have reached out to find how promiscuous some/many men can be, and overlook trying to mimic men in other aspects of life

what happened to my "chivalry"?
 Girl-scout
Joined: 2/24/2008
Msg: 54
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 3/16/2008 4:40:36 AM
I have rarely if ever expressed an autonomous interest in any of my ex-girlfriends' ex-lovers. If their experiences have made them better for them, great. If they want to bring it into play, I'm open. As long as they are clean, monogamous, and willing to at least consider a long-term commitment, that's what counts.
 Lookin4MyOtherHalf
Joined: 1/26/2008
Msg: 56
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 3/16/2008 7:28:49 AM
i do ask women how many they have been with. but i never see it as a bad thing. i would rather she has been with a lot of men.
 toomers
Joined: 2/24/2008
Msg: 57
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 3/16/2008 9:34:34 AM
I was thinking of creating a mathematical formula to assess the numbers.

I think a lot of former partners isn't good for either sex, but I do understand that men commonly assess a woman on her past experiences differentially to his own...likely based in instinct like women wanting men who are popular, even if the man has many other women.

Instead of the formula, consider the following, and to make it easy, let's consider a 1 year total past:

1) she was with one guy for 10 months then slept with 2 guys as one-night stands in the remaining two months and says she had good intentions of wanting a relationship with these two guys despite rushing into it.

2) single for 11 months then went crazy and hung out at a bar for a week and bagged 20 men.

3) ended a relationship in first month. Started a new relationship right away and ended in same month. Went from guy to guy, having two week to 1 month affairs, with not even a single day of being single.


How would men (and women) consider each of the three scenarios above? To me, there's more beyond the numbers...before I give my analysis, I'd like to hear what others have to say.
 sugar*spice
Joined: 1/24/2008
Msg: 59
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 3/16/2008 9:53:19 AM
only the insecure ones care...as long as a person has been careful ive never cared,its easy to tell if they have been careful.....like when they say "oh forget about the condom" thats a huge red flag ppl.
 Krazed Kourse
Joined: 1/20/2008
Msg: 60
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 3/16/2008 10:08:54 AM
It's not the amount of partners you had that make you a slut to a man.
It's how open you are about it, that does. Well, at least to me.

Keep the amount of partners to yourself. Hell. Lie about it(If you've had 10 partners, to the guy, you've had 2. Didn't your mother teach you anything?). It's none of the guy's business, anyway. Only way it would be, is if you had an STD. Still, the amount is none of his business.

I've been with women I knew were promiscuous, but they never ever shed light on how many partners. The amount of partners doesn't make you non-classy.

On the other hand, i've known women who were extremely candid about having 20 partners or more. I'll let you guess which ones I thought were easy and sluts.

A woman who's got a big mouth about something that personal, isn't worthy of a relationship to me. It's the type of woman you'll just want to sleep with, and get rid of.

Remember. Freak in the sheets. Lady in the streets.
(And I don't believe in that double standard BS. It's not a double standard).
 HDynasty81
Joined: 3/10/2008
Msg: 61
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 3/16/2008 10:45:38 AM
Well, I wouldn't, but if she had kids by those past lovers it probably would make me head for the exit that much quicker.

Also, I'd probably have concerns if she might have picked up an STD or two from those multiple lovers/boyfriends as well, same should go for women as well.

I mean if you can fill up Madison Square Garden with your past lovers, I'd definitely think twice about getting with someone, but that's just my outlook on it.
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