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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?      Home login  
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 DeagleNINja
Joined: 9/10/2005
Msg: 26
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?Page 2 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
I try not to judge women when they tell me how many lovers they've had.....

BUT, if she's had a couple dozen lovers it is usually safe to say that she has commitment problems when it comes to relationships.
 Josaphine
Joined: 12/13/2005
Msg: 27
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why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 1/31/2006 6:27:26 AM
I think the boys have answered your question for you, I hope it all works out for you, but if he's speeking to you like that, piss him off!
In my experience I think I may have been judged by the type of men I have loved, thats why I'm not taking any more chances, I want to be sure.
Good Luck.
 dotcalm
Joined: 9/28/2005
Msg: 28
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 1/31/2006 6:33:18 AM
A very long time ago, when I was a kid, we were taught that good old double standard.
Men went out to sow their wild oats and that was exceptable and expected.
It made them, men.

Women on the other hand, were taught to save themselves for marriage and then do their wifely duty for their husbands. Women were also taught to cook and clean and sew, take care of the children...they were taught how to be 'good homemakers.

It was OK for men to screw around but the women they did it with got a reputation.

Men who are insecure and posessive, can't deal with knowing about a woman's sexual past.
They also are often the real jealous type and have some control issues.

There is a time and place for disclosing past experiences and especially not when 2 people 1st meet.

I feel if I am going to be involved with a man, there has to be a good open communication.

Everyone has a past and the older you get the more of a past you have. I am not interested in all the details of a man's sexual history, but I am open to hearing about his past in a general kind of way.

I sure as hell don't want a virgin, so knowing that he's been with other women in the past, can be reassuring that he's not a novice.
 fantasyland11
Joined: 1/30/2006
Msg: 29
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 1/31/2006 6:36:13 AM
Are you alright??
You would have to be a virgin too for potential for love and marriage.
Or You will forever be a toy.
How is men being judged, if he has been a male slut?????? Where is the equality of men and women????

Not a dumbed blonde( as men coined the blonde)
 Sversion1
Joined: 12/7/2005
Msg: 30
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 1/31/2006 6:48:57 AM
For me 'back in the day' it was that age old thing, women are more selective, think of their bodies as temples, do it for love etc. So then when u hear a woman had 49 lovers you'ld be like.."damn, fell in love that many times?? lol"

These days I don't judge that...sure, smaller numbers were more attractive, but last year I was seeing someone who admitted to somewhere in the neighbourhood of 35-40 lovers, about double mine...but its the individual. Plus it didn't heart hearing just about everyday that I killed then all in every way! lol.

I still think their is a slight difference in the way they get their though, I can totally respect a woman who has gone out and slept with 60 men, but did so because she wanted to, was in total control...

a woman who has slept with 60 men who pulled the wool over her eyes, tricked her and then she cries the next day she didn't get a phone call...I don't respect that. Don't be a sucker
 cron
Joined: 4/26/2005
Msg: 31
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why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 1/31/2006 6:58:48 AM
I kinda of agree with Tobel as far as wanting to know that a woman is urs if u truly love her and no one else's. My cousin considered marrying a girl he had a really good relationship with, but had to go away to the middle east on active duty with the military. B4 he left they had a big altercation. He came back 6 months later and she told him she slept with someone else. He left her and got into another serious relationship and married someone else. His problem with her was that she liked sex too much, and he suspected it was possible she may not wait 6 months for him to come back. True enough, she did not wait. She loved him a lot (trust me), but after that, he could not consider her wife material. By the way, she had slept with someone else he knew in the past and that played with his consciousness. No insecurities, just feeling that there could be better out there for him and he did not have to settle.

I am tired of hearing about this double standard, "Men are studs and women are sluts." That may not necesarily be right, but it is how it is for the most part. It is an innate part of the world we live in. If a woman hits her husband, she is probably not going to jail. Men, try to hit ur wives and see what happens, even if she is not hurt badly. People get different treatment based on a lot of factors. So would i personally prefer a woman that has not had so many partners? Yes. I still think women should regard their love as personal, and not what should be given to any guy that looks attractive to them. But then again, i am somewhat old fashioned in that respect. There is a difference between a woman with 7 partners and one with 30 partners. Is that a deciding factor? Probably not, but it is a factor.
 jwwgcec
Joined: 1/11/2006
Msg: 32
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 1/31/2006 7:05:45 AM
Its natural for either women or men to have had lovers in the past. Notice I said lovers as in more than one. I honestly don't have any male friends that have this opinion. I sometimes think it is a preception that women have that they continue to prepetuate. I don't think men think that way at all.
 nipoleon
Joined: 12/27/2005
Msg: 33
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why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 1/31/2006 11:46:29 AM
Hey think about it guys. A woman has had enough lovers to field a small army, but says you were the best of all.
That's what you call a compliment.
 Be My Valentine ?
Joined: 12/16/2005
Msg: 34
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 1/31/2006 11:48:39 AM
Leeroybrown...What is a weemen ??? ...Weeemen wobble but they don't fall down ..Man kids cannot even spell today.

Did you mean Women ?????
 T00much
Joined: 11/4/2005
Msg: 35
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why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 1/31/2006 12:45:10 PM
If she was good I don't normally worry about how she got that way....
 cron
Joined: 4/26/2005
Msg: 36
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why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 1/31/2006 12:52:39 PM
Directed at nipoleon:

Women say and do things based on the emotions they r feeling at the time. That may not necessarily mean u r really the best and the same words may have been said to other people. But i guess it does not hurt to accept the compliment and roll with it. Just dont believe it with all ur heart. But i am sure a guy of ur age and experience already knows that.
 Jetplague
Joined: 4/4/2005
Msg: 37
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 1/31/2006 12:55:49 PM
Well if she starts to openly admit how many partners she's slept with (being greater then that of any normal person..."100??" ) then I'd be concerned.
 Becky_LaF
Joined: 2/23/2005
Msg: 38
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 1/31/2006 1:00:11 PM
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?

how could they judge us, if we dont tell them. number one rule in a new relationship, never, never tell your number.

if its a small number or a large one, its going to come back and bite yah in the ass one day, guaranteed.
 Jetplague
Joined: 4/4/2005
Msg: 39
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 1/31/2006 1:07:11 PM
Same with the guys...no matter what we say (or who we do)...it comes back to haunt ya. (Or suddenly run into in the mall or something.) "Uh oh...they're talking!!!"
 tobelustedbyu
Joined: 1/31/2006
Msg: 40
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 1/31/2006 1:27:30 PM

There is a time and place for disclosing past experiences and especially not when 2 people 1st meet.


In my opinion i believe this is an extremely bad idea, you really do not want the guy precieving you as something else and then later after feelings have developed then he finds out. Thats when things get ugly. Its best to get it clear not right at the beggining but ussually b4 u first have sex i think mainly because based on their recation you'll know wheter to stay wif em or not.


Are you alright??
You would have to be a virgin too for potential for love and marriage.
Or You will forever be a toy.
How is men being judged, if he has been a male slut?????? Where is the equality of men and women????

Not a dumbed blonde( as men coined the blonde)


If the girl who i believes is the one dosn't feel the same way about me because of my past partners i would totally respect that and move on. But to be honest wif u from wat ive heard and seen in the past virgin females ussually like it when guys are expiernced.


I am tired of hearing about this double standard, "Men are studs and women are sluts." That may not necesarily be right, but it is how it is for the most part. It is an innate part of the world we live in. If a woman hits her husband, she is probably not going to jail. Men, try to hit ur wives and see what happens, even if she is not hurt badly. People get different treatment based on a lot of factors.


Yes exactly, what he said, standards are ussually selective for everybody. Beacuse there are certain standards that favour a particular gender, so regarding the "men r studs, women r sluts" standard could be balanced out by something else, the hitting example cron used, or especially the work enviornment factor, there are some jobs that ppl wont let woman do and not coz they are sexist but mainly of physical factors and beliefs. So the advantage rolls both ways uniquely.
 nipoleon
Joined: 12/27/2005
Msg: 41
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why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 1/31/2006 1:35:37 PM
Cron :

There is absolutly nothing about women you can take seriously, and nothing you can't take seriously.
If any woman ever offers you shameless, flattery,..... take it.
If any woman ever says your the best she ever had,....... You tell her, Good !
Appreciate every moment you get to spend with your woman, because she deserves it.
There are too many poor **stards out there who ain't got no one.
 SimbadSailor
Joined: 11/8/2005
Msg: 42
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 1/31/2006 1:45:27 PM
If I have to choose between getting no one or getting the leftovers of a small army, I will choose to remain alone, always.

Self-respect, it's called.
 webwanderer
Joined: 7/9/2004
Msg: 43
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 1/31/2006 1:50:36 PM
Well lets put it this way, faced with a choice between two women where everything was equal but one was a virgin and the other had had 30 partners I'm picking number 2 everytime. I doj't want to be woth some totally inexperienced woman how is suddenly going to feel taht she needs to explore after having been with me for awhile (unless its to explore with other women, thats a totally different kettle of fish lol). I like to know how many partners a woman because it lets me find out more about what she has done and what worked. Besides shes with me now not them so what do I care!
 cron
Joined: 4/26/2005
Msg: 44
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why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 1/31/2006 1:56:08 PM
nipoleon:

i appreciate every moment i spend with my woman and i expect she does the same for me too. I was just saying that i dont think that a woman who has slept with a ton of men and tells me i am the best is necessarily a huge compliment. I do not put women on a higher pedestal and honor and glorify the ground they walk on. I treat them with the utmost respect and try to treat them the way i would like to be treated. We as men deserve a lot of things as well, so i hope the women appreciate men too including the women who have had a large number of partners. Now i agree with everything u say, because i definitely dont think i know it all and i think what u said all makes sense.
 cain666
Joined: 12/27/2005
Msg: 45
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 1/31/2006 2:04:56 PM
your damn right brother,i dont ask either,why would anyone want to know? past is the past it shouls be left there.
 cain666
Joined: 12/27/2005
Msg: 46
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 1/31/2006 2:07:54 PM
that was to lakelandsm by the way
 chadskylark
Joined: 1/30/2006
Msg: 47
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 2/1/2006 7:17:22 AM
out of curiosity milkman, have you ever been in a long term/love relationship w/ a woman w/ an extensive past? ever w/ a woman who has slept w/ people you know/knew? [casually or f-buddies]. it's easy to date and just have sex w/ a woman w/ a past, that's a ball. but what about to the next level?
 mikkyD2
Joined: 12/9/2005
Msg: 48
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 2/1/2006 8:21:19 AM
Because it's hard to hold a woman tight if she has a lot of notches carved on her side?? Sry, had to say something.
 chadskylark
Joined: 1/30/2006
Msg: 49
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 2/1/2006 10:13:33 AM
well answer then. have you been in the situation i am talking about? it is hard to look at the woman you love lying naked next to you and know she has been sexually intimate w/ so many others before you. so many others have enjoyed her, she has enjoyed so many others. how do you see guys that she used to play with for just fun and feel nothing? sex is so intimate. how would you really feel unique?
it's weird to be w/ a woman that so many others have enjoyed. to me anyway. i feel like they own a little peice of her in some way. even if it's just memories.
i think my wife just got sick of the lack of security and decided to settle down w/ me. she loves me, but in the scope of things i am just another expierence.
don't you want to feel like your woman is kinda special? like it kind of took a little something extra to get in her pants?
 chadskylark
Joined: 1/30/2006
Msg: 50
why do most men judge women by their number of past lovers?
Posted: 2/1/2006 10:18:56 AM
maybe the idea i am trying to convey is [me anyway being in this kind of situation] is i have a hard time w/ thinking dudes that have had casual encounters w/ her may kind of think along the lines "don't think you are the only one that could/has got her she got naked for me many times". sounds dumb, but i don't know why i think this way.
would it bother you to know your mom or grandmother had been w/ 80-100 guys before they met your dad or gramp? would you like your son or daughter to know about your wifes past? if they found out, how would you feel?
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